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Current mood: CALM...
Category: CALM... Fashion, Style, Shopping
So...
Today was the 2nd time I attended London College of Beauty Theraphy for a massage. And in lieu of a decent other musical story that's ACE ready and hot cooked to perfection, I'm gonna attempt to write a comparisson of the two massages I've had from there to date...
Yes boss, I have to admit, I've getting a little tired a little of writing music music MUSIC reviews....
The thing is there's loads of fucking records in the world and if I were to work 24 hours a day reviewing them, I still wouldn't be able to word them all.
So because I'm not getting paid to review them and there's no office editorial ogre about to bosh me on the head if I don't tow the line, I'm gonna use my freedom to wander...
OK...
Massage..
Now I don't mean to be rude, but over these two visits to the LBS I've come the conclusion that massage is basically polite and very safe sex...
Yes boss, as I lay there today feeling very relaxed, rubbed and almost completely relaxed, my mind drifted onto times in the past when I'd felt similar sensual joy and each and every one had something to do with sex...
Of course, it's stating the obvious that one can't afford to get an erection in that kind of a massage parlour and for that reason, the whole affair can never be completely relaxing.
No boss, unless you're gay or a eunuch, as you lay there on the table only protected by a towel, you can't help but feel a little vulnerable and (if you're male) forever on the edge of embarassment - but that's a small price to pay ...
There's obviously no touching of sexual organs - the whole area is politely and deliberately avoided. But the sensations are exactly the same. In fact today I had a tonne of all the hormones known to mankind shivering down from the back of my neck for close to an hour and a half, and to be perfcetly frank it was a good deal better than a large ammount of the sex I've had.
Yes boss, it was pure pleasure, there was no chance of any kind of mess and it only cost 15 quid...
Anyway, here we go with the compare and contrast
Masseur Number 1: Svetlana
Svetlana was FIRM!!
She liked to hit and slap. She moved the table (with me on it) to suit her angles. She was always in control and liked to push the towels right up to the limit of dignity. For her every inch that could be HAD TO BE WORKED!! I had the impression she liked to get close to the boundary. She also appeared to be on the impression that pain was an important part of pleasure - that effort and strength equalled GOOD AND SOLID ACTION!!
Masseur Number 2: Kate
Kate was far more sensual and gentle.
She started her massage by drawing a light shape on my face. It felt like I'd been initiated into a cult - painted up for war. It worked the mind away from sex - it set the whole experience up as a ritual. It was a kindness...
Overall, Kate was lighter. She rarely hit or slapped - instead rubbing and teasing. She kept the towels a good deal more generous. She was more spiritual, careful and much less matter of fact. The whole affair was more relaxing - it didn't feel like a workout so much as a happy trip. In fact I came out of there feeling like I'd been gaily wandering down a flowery country lane for aroundabout a week and a half..
So, there we go...
Massage.
Next week PG£ does Colonic Irrigation...
 | Currently listening :
Devil in Sports Casual
By Midfield General
Release date: By 08 September, 1997 | 20:05 - 14 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove |
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