ALBUM REVIEW :: CRAZY COVERS LP1 - AKA COVER ME BAD

Current mood: HIP HOP HOORAY - THE SUN CONTINUES
Category: HIP HOP HOORAY - THE SUN CONTINUES Music

I love a good cover version, I've got thousands of the fuckers and when I saw that one half of what was Global Communication (creators of one my favourite ever dance singles) had put together his pick, I was truly enamoured at the prospect of further increasing this collection with some choicey choice cuts..

What followed was one of the greatest disappointments of my record stealing life...

Yes boss, I've found this collection to be generally and almost completely KACK.

The problem is there's too many similar tracks, too much slinky jazz and funky funk and too little humour - and humour and fun is what I like to see with covers...

Yes boss, for my money, to make a good CV, you need a good original track and then a good covering artists who's gonna add something completely fresh, or else make you laugh, and this only happens about 5 times out of 30 on this selection.

I don't know if it's trying to be cool, ironic or clever, or whether Middleton has simply got bad taste in covers, whatever and whichever it's a country mile off what I was hoping for...

Anyway, here's the detail...

.

Ghetto Classics - Ricky V Valentine

HA! Here's one of the best ones to start with. It's a meddly of Hip Hop as done Easy Listening stylee. Made me smile..))))

Crazy in Love - Snow Patrol

GOD FUCKING DISMAL AWFUL, DULL, UNIMAGINATIVE, SHITTY, VERSION OF A DECENT TRACK!!

SOMEONE PLEASE FEED THESE CUNTS SOME FUCKING ACID AND MAKE THEM CHEER THE FUCK UP!!!!

OR BETTER STILL FILL THEM WITH CEMENT AND CALL THEM A MOTORWAY!!

FUCK THE ARCTIC MONKEYS, THESE CUNTS GO FIRST!!!!

NO, THAT'S TOO GOOD FOR THEM...

Mrs. Robinson - The Lemonheads

Never got The Lemonheads nor this track. They always seemed like a pretty blonde boy band over substance...

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Uminski

Yeah, this is just about there. We're talking a punky/rockabilly cover of the Daft Punk classic. I'd like to see a full LP of cover versions of this track...

Satisfaction - Whomadewho

NOPE...

Rock Your Body - Kiko and Deschezeaux

AWFUL

Smells Like Electro (Smells Like Teen Spirit)

This one takes all the edge out of the original. The Soulwaxx bootlegg of Smells Like Teen Spirit mixed with Destinys Child is a million, trillion miles better...

One Nation Under a Groove - Chaka Demus, Pliers

Limp

Roxanne - Aswad

Dismal original track, dismal cover version...

Can't Stand Losing You - Steel Pulse

Shitty material to work from, but at least it's happy...

Song 2wo - Earl Zinger

The one's OK. I like the much more playful OO HOO'S. The original always had that 'desperation of the indie white boy not getting laid,,,' about it...

Beat It - Senór Coconut

Not bad. I like Senór Coconut and this has got some SUBOOMM about it. However, for my money, the Ian Brown covers of either Billy Jean or Thriller would have been better inserted here (maybe they're in part 2) Those are two of the funniest fucking cover versions of all time...

How deep is your self love Mr Brown???

Sound of Silence - Lambeth Community Youth Steel Orchestra

This one's OK n'all. Not mind blowing, but definately OK..

Two Tribes/Relax - The London Symphony Orchestra, Royal Choral Society

Since when has the London Symphony Orchestra emplyed a bass guitarist and synth player???

These are great original tracks, but these versions are unremarkable and this kind of thing always strikes me as being a cynical effort to keep the kids interested in classical music and away from those nasty homo beat combo's...

I Will Survive - Usha Uthup

A foriegn language version. Maybe this and the next are aimed at the export market?? The music certainly hasn't improved at all. It's a limp disco...

Son of a Preacher Man [Live] - Axelle Red, Sylvie Vartan

Again, I guess this is a Spanish version. It's nothing remarkable - basically, the same track as done originally, but in Spanish...

Take Me Out - Scissor Sisters

Godawful version of one of FF's better tracks

Jump - Aztec Camera

Rather insipid. Takes all the energy out of the track, which was perhaps the point. But what the hell is the point of Jump without the energy??

Walk This Way - Hayseed Dixie

This one works. Rather obviously it's a country version of Walk This Way.

It made me picture some whitey brightey NO BLACK'UNS ALLOWED hoedown somewhere in the deep south. There's a coupla confused, half drunk old 'as white as the day is long', cowboys propping up the bar....

"What in good jimi jam hell is this one Marvin??"
"Sounds like the work of those goddamn nig nogs to me..."
"SHEESH!! The worlds commin' to an end Marvin, the worlds commin to an end..."

Sunshine of Your Love - Spanky Wilson

OK. Funk version, probably gets played alot in trendy clubs by DJs with no imagination...

Here Comes the Sun - Nina Simone

Light and very ambient. One for the LIVE arena, or else to play as the sun comes up at a rave in the country to prove that there's more to us than BANG BANG BANG!!

Summertime - George Benson

Yeah, this is alright, but nothing much new or different to the original...

I Can't Get No Satisfaction - Jose Feliciano

I'm running out of things to say about hip and funky versions...

Teenage Kicks - Nouvelle Vague

OH FUCKING JESUS HELL!!! ANOTHER SMOOTH AND SLINKY ONE. YES YOU'RE COOL MR MIDDLETON - COOLER THAN A FUCKING FRIDGE..

Thinking of You - Paul Weller

I pride myself on NEVER thinking about Paul Weller...

Twisted - Rejazz

YAWNNN!!!!!

White Lines - Barefoot

Smooth jazz version. Nothing special. Lacks PAZAZZZZ

Frontin' [Live] - Jamie Cullum

OH JESUS....

Give me fake jazz in the morning keep my singing
Give me fake jazz in the morning I pray
Give me fake jazz in the morning keep my swinging
Give me fake jazz till I break my day...

People Make the World Go Round - The Chosen Few

Don't know the original of this one. This is OK. Can't say much more than that..

Express Yourself - Byron Lee

Ah...

I've just discovered that the cover of this on CHG1 isn't infact by Byron Lee because this one is and it's not that one...

This is OK, but the one on CHG1 is better...

Fever [Live] - Susan Cadogan

OK...

Seven Nation Army - Nostalgia 77

A bit slow and pointless. Can't imagine when or where or why I might want to play this...

Dy-Na-Mi-Tee - Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain

Whatever happenned to Miss Dy-Na-Mi-Tee?? I thought she'd joined Team Bono and was in the process of saving all our asses?!?

This version is OK anyways...

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - The MG's, Booker T

With all due respect, this sounds like the 12 year old brother I don't have, practising for his keyboard exam to a midi backing track. Either that or a busker in your local shopping center...

Young Hearts Run Free - Nancy Wallace

Don't much like female folk singers I'm afraid. If you do - you might like this...

Boys Don't Cry - Victor Malloy

OK, bit sleppy...

Free Fallin' [Live] - The Kings of Convenience

Don't know the original, after hearing this, I'm in no hurry to...

Purple Rain - Basix

Multi layered acapella. Sounds like it's meant with soul. Good...

Bridge Over Troubled Water - Aretha Franklin

So this comp starts and ends well.

This is much what you'd expect: Aretha belting it out over a slinky groove. Good, not great, but definately worth seeing LIVE in a small venue.

It also puts the strength of Ms Amy 'drink the' Winehouse's voice into some kind of perspective...



So, there we go.

Apparnently there's another 2 disc set of the same, but on the evidence of this, I'm in no hurry to hear it...

Currently listening : Cosmosonica: Crazy Covers, Vol. 1 By Tom Middleton Release date: By 06 June, 2005

11:38 - 14 Comments - 11 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	simon	I have to say Hayseed Dixie were one of the best bands i saw at last years Download Festival, very funny and great musicians they totally overpacked the tent they were in and put a smile on everyones faces!! And if that's his idea of strange or odd classic covers then he really has no idea what he's doing. He has to listen to Peps Blodband doing Pressure Drop in Swedish to know where he should have gone..... Posted by simon on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 14:43 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Yep... I've just seen a piece in Stool Pigeon about Hayseed Dixie, I'm going to have to take a closer look... And like you say - this is a shockingly bad selection.... I'm gonna nominate my favourite 23 tracks for the covers CHG that'll be coming later in the year... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 18:30 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	KvKvG	they all sound rather dismal to me, here are my two favorite covers at present: Thirteen by dEUS disco 2000 by Nick cave. i know you hate him but you gotta give the man his props for this one. it makes me want to cry just thinking about it. doing covers can be an impossible mission, you get a song you adore and if you try to mimic it it becomes pointless and if you try to rework it, chances are you will distroy the magic it pocessed. i think its always best to do covers of songs you hate. i wanted to do 'take me home' by sophie ellis bextor, (which i think is a cher cover in itself) cheese from hell but if you cranked up that bassline and got bobby giliespie to sing on it it would rule the world! Posted by KvKvG on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 15:05 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	I don't know either of those covers, but yes, I do hate Nick Cave with quite a passion.. I'd love to do more covers myself, but they're too hard... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 18:58 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	KvKvG	boooo! forged any views on the birthday party yet? Posted by KvKvG on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 19:28 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Not heard it yet... I think I need a certain mood to engage with something that intense.. Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 20:39 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Christopher Nosnibor	I'd happily take the Scissor Sisters out. Maybe I can borrow that machine gun.... Posted by Christopher Nosnibor on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 15:45 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	I really liked The SS's first LP and Comfortably Numb is one of the greatest cover versions of all time... The 2nd LP was however top grade pants, and if the third is as bad, I'll happily lend you the gun.. Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 18:59 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Colossus	Try putting on Mrs Robinson in the summer in your garden. It's worth it...sometimes the contaxt makes the song you get me? Spider xx Posted by Colossus on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 19:27 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Yes, context is all.. But I have no idea who Mrs Robinson is and songs about her don't interest me.. Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 19:49 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Vasco	Yup, I wouldn't touch most of it, with the honoured exception of Hayseed Dixie or Senor Coconut? That dude Middleton has missed a lot of brilliant versions: Coil - Tainted love Lambchop - This corrosion Balanescu Quartet - Pocket calculator Instrumental - Little fluffy clouds Blixa Bargeld - Somewhere over the rainbow Siouxsie and the banshees - Helter Skelter Nico - The end Primal scream - Slip inside this house Cabaret Voltaire - No escape Chick on speed with Kreidler - Where the wild roses grow Earthlings? - Blue moon Tom Waits - The return of Jack and Jill Patti Smith - Smells like teen spirit The list could go on and on and theirs stuff which I haven't heard like Seu Jorge's versions of David Bowie sung in Portuguese. Tom Middleton just went for slickness and that is really obvious. Although, I tend to disagree about the Scissor Sister's. I think their version of Comfortably Numb is just atrocious. They're all style and no substance and even their whole camp element just seems very calculated. I could give them the same kind of fate that you'd wish on Snow Patrol. But, I do agree that Snow Patrol and that whining lot should be put out of their misery. Posted by Vasco on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 19:57 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Yeah, at one point i thought big things of Middleton, but he seems to have got carried away with pleasing audiences as aopposed to producing art... I don't know most of those. I'm consulting my mule... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 20:38 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	dimpletrunk	patti smith doing smells like teen spirit makes you wanna wreck your car. and not in the good way... Posted by dimpletrunk on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 16:09 [Remove] [Reply to this]

: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

The idea of anyone else doing Smells Like Teen Spirit (except the bootleg version featuring Destinys Child) is very wrong sounding full stop.. Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 16:21 [Remove] [Reply to this]