Thursday 21 February 2008

I AM A BLONDE BOMBSHELL...


Current mood: LIBERATED....
Category: LIBERATED.... Movies, TV, Celebrities





Well shit,
My Official Artist has just drawn my attention to anarguable fact. That of all the images in the PG£ archives this current one is amongst (if not THE) best...

It's a gem from the artists pen. But in this case, only the detail of the work was done by my OA in photoshop, the rest was done by a couple of make-up artists...

Yes boss, it might surprise you to know that the only manipulated bit of this image is the smudge of lipstick on the lips and the flashy eyes, and here's the story as to how and why...


About a year ago, I was looking around for things to do.

Then, my heroic career as a marathon and majestic blogger was merely a twinkle in my back eye. Meanwhile I was dipping my oar into as many other creative and related pursuits as possible to see what took my fancy as a way forward:

I worked several minor roles in film and TV. I tried to suss a way into magazine writing. I started taking pictures again and did Life Modelling for art clases. I flirted with remixing tracks and did some DJaying..


Well, one day, I was browsing myspazz and saw this bulletin add for Male Dancers who'd prepared to dance naked for a short film version of Alice In Wonderland.

Now, this quite clearly sounds like a fucking nightmare job, but for some reason, I fancied it.

Thing was, I'd done naked Life Modelling and also played the very challenging role of a naked corpse for a feature film, and having successfully passed on both of those, I was curious as to exactly how far I could take the whole naked thing before it became porn...


So, I messaged the advertiser and said I had no idea how to dance, but that I'd do it anyway of they wanted me in..


Well, I got to the first rehearsal and there are 4 or 5 sheepish looking guys and about 5 girls in their early 20's in the room: The guys were to be the dancers and the girls are the film-makers...

Shit, I thought, Why in the hell didn't I think of this when I was at art school? Instead of trying to create the aural atmosphere of bicycle races on CD I should just have said:

Look, I need 8 naked women to reinact a scene from The Hound of the Baskerviles, call me on 077--==.]'/..


Anyway, the first rehearsal was fine.

The deal was this. We had a minute of air time. The girl playing Alice was to climb from underneath a table, and there we were, naked, except for see through approns and blonde wigs. We'd be covered in flour and doing a synchronised dance with rolling pins...


It was the second rehearsal before we got naked. By then one of our boys had chickened out, and I was begining to wonder about the wisdom of taking part.

Yes boss, I realised then, that if I danced naked, on film, in a blonde wig with a rolling pin, any future career
as The Ofiicial Assistant to Bono Vox or even as Prime Minister, would be doomed to falure the minute my opponents found the clip.....

Well shit, it was too late - I'd started, so I'd finish....

We dropped the pants and got in our positions and did the routine..


All done, I swung a look at the girls sitting there - they looked both embarassed and thrilled. I then took the customary look across at what the other boys had to offer....

'WELL SHIT!!' I thought as my eyes drifted across at each of their midriffs...THIS CAN'T BE SO - THIS IS COMPLETELY FUCKING WELL STATISTICALLY UNFEASIBLE!!!

Yes boss, there in that room were the only 3 men on the planet more well endowed than Paul Pious James Giovanni £rd!!


Anyway, we did the actual filming a week later in this house in Clapton, East london. It was an ordinary terrace house, except that Sunday, the kitchen had been covered in flour and there were 4 naked men wandering around in blonde wigs and see through aprons...

After chronic disorganisation,we got the job done, and I headed off to Camden to DJ, keeping on my gold face as some kind of a 'Look at me!!!' party trick...


Well, I've never seen the finished work and neither do I want to. I did recieve an invite to the initial screening in a Shoreditch bar, but I was in hospital on another medical trial and couldn't go.

Whatever it achieved I don't know. I admired the ambition of it and it was certainly some kind of a buzz to do it...

It was however the end of my career in film.

Yes boss, upon completion, I realised, that after nearly 2 years of trying, I'd taken ham-acting and extras work as far as it could possibly go - it was time to move on....





17:28 - 28 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

R

You are GOLD (always believe in your soul).

Posted by R on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 01:39
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

My soul is in great shape - I just don't have any fucking money..

I might have to start on pay per view...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 01:44
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R

I'll give you ten bob for every shimmy..

Posted by R on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 01:48
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

Obviously, I'm talking about the writing...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 01:45
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R

Oh...yes of course.

Posted by R on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 01:49
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Wendy

You swung WHAT at the girls sitting there???

Posted by Wendy on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:05
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

If only I could swing it...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:09
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

It's like watching Fish Island Gigolo. So whaddaya got for $20?

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:17
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

It depends how good looking you are...?

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:18
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

I look a lot better in a wig than you do.

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:21
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:25
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

Tell you what, PGPoundSign, just drop the goldilocks gig and stick to being a sexy corpse.

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:27
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

I think I'm turning you on...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:30
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

Maybe. Do I get to roll around in flour with you?

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:32
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

That'll cost more than $20..

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:34
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

Alright. $22 then. And I'll throw in a coupon for a free burrito at Del Taco, just because I like you.

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:36
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

$23, a burrito AND a medium coke and you've got a deal...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:37
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

You drive a hard bargain, PGPoundsign. I'll go get my rolling pin.

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:40
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

Don't forget the flour...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:41
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:44
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

That should just about cover it...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 02:47
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La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity

1. must see this film
2. you look good in a blonde wig, but i get to be the ONLY blonde bombshell around here. got it?

Posted by La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 04:37
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

1: NO FUCKING WAY!!!!
2: You look good in a pink wig, but I'm the only blonde bombshell around here..

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 09:08
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La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity

1. yes way.
2. thank you.
3. I AM THE BLONDE BOMBSHELL. IN FACT, I WANT TO BE THE OFFICIAL PGC BLONDE BOMBSHELL OR I QUIT!!!

Posted by La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 18:38
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

THIS IS YOUR FIRST WEEK ON THE JOB!! DON'T GET BOLSHY!!!!

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 18:53
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Christopher Nosnibor

That's just plain disturbing....

Posted by Christopher Nosnibor on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 12:43
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Clinker

Thats a fucking brilliant story. Whens the book out?

I'd do it. I know exactly what its like to be skint and desperate. Sounds like fun to me too.

The bigger dicks bit reminds me of being in Japan and taking a naked spa with Tomoko's dad. I thought i'd be alright cos japs are supposed to have small wotsits, but her dad is hung like a bleeding donkey!!!

Posted by Clinker on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 14:02
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

Well, The Vest of Paul Giovanni will be out in a year or so's time...

Oh and to be clear, this film wasn't a paid job - it was a student film. The naked corpse one was however paid...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 17:05
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