Current mood: UNCHARITABLE
Category: UNCHARITABLE Music
If you've not read my rant about how bright and cheery everything 'electronic music' was until the late 1990s (when everything went briefly, but badly, wrong), you'll have to go read my other stuff on this or MY OTHER BLOG, because I really can't keep repeating it time and time again or my regular readers will finally see me as the cheap self ripoff artist that I am..
Suffice to say, that one of the things I feel went very wrong with the onset of Brit Pop and the attendant confidence crisis in dance/electronic music, was drugged up dross like this LP being taken seriously as some kind of new direction that was either credible, worthwhile or any good..
EDITOR: "Jesus! You're a little feisty today Paul. What's you're problem??"Well, last night I bored myself and this didn't help my sense of chairty (but more about that later) What really annoys me about this particular LP and those like it, is that's it's just mindlessly crap..
WHY?
Well, first of all, let's get one basic tenet of history absolutely straight:
The Hippie 1960s ended 40 years ago. Since then the 1970s and 80s have happened, and if those two decades (let alone the last 2), haven't made it clear that lyrics like
'A plethora of burning suns and the blackest of pure twilight,
And although I wish to give endlessly, I now relinquish my sigh
Let us linger in our lust together,
Together in this Perisian garden of light!'
AND
"He taught me,
With the language of the sea,
The sound heart in the sun,
With the cries of night creatures I dimly understand
Ohh uhhuh oohh"
are completely unacceptable, stupid, IGNORANT and just plain shit, then I don't know what can be done....
Yes boss, I don't wish to be excessively mean to Mr T, but I'm tired of crap 'nature is a goddess' lyrics like this. So much so that I feel obliged to redress the balance with an alternative 'nature isn't a goddess' view:
So how about this?
Nature is a duck chasing another around the pond and then raping it, whilst thrusting it's head under the water. Nature is a cat carelessly playing with a half dead mouse because it's enjoying what it's doing. Nature is a species of animal specifically evolving to take opportunity of anothers weakness.
What I mean to say is that the wind and the earth and 'the language of the sea' is one of mostly vicious selfishness that cares nothing for itself, for mankind, the dolphins or the polar bears - unless they are of some use.
Yes boss, the way I see it, nature is neither cute nor nice and if you think it is, I'd suggest you spend some quality time living in a remote and feisty part of the world without a laptop or a gore tex jacket, or even a box of matches. By doing this you'll soon understand that if Mother (fucker) Nature can and needs to have your lame and lazy ass, she'll have it, no questions asked, no matter how many 'Nature is beautiful' lyrics you've penned, dolphin calls you've sampled, or nuff respect you've given her down the years...
Now I know I'm being a touch brutal here and I know this isn't very nice to read in the caring 2000s. I also know I'm off Gwynnie Paltrows Winter Solstice Card (recycled) list and am very likely to be seen as angry, cynical and vicious. But I make no apologies. I'm not a very nice person all told, but I have lapped up more than my fair share of nature down the years, and I get oh so tired of all this untrue sentimental shit in all it's forms that I had to say something. So there….
EDITOR: "PAUL!!! STOP RANTING THIS SHIT AND WRITE THE FUCKING REVIEW!!!"
Yes, I'm done now….
So, do I hate BT and this LP?
No, I don't hate BT the musical artist. He's done the odd thing here and there that sounded OK (though not much that I can think of off the top of my head), and I don't hate musicians or creatives of any kind on general principle that they can't help being the naïve, beautiful and devious creatures that they are.
When it come to this LP tho, with the exception of one or two of the remixes on the second 'bonus' disc, it really is quite awful…
Sure, in places the production has the kind of clean and clever sheen that makes you understand why Mr T was picked up and used by Sting and Madonna. But at the end of the day even BTs electronic nouse is far less remarkable than many other producers with half a laptop and a couple of decent sample CDS…
So, my rather nasty and uncharitable advice here is: Unless you do too many drugs, or live in the rainforest in a £600 tent on Daddies industrial money, avoid this record like it's an ex-lover you find crouching in your shed, holding a grudge and a gun…….
 | Currently listening : 13 Jaar Terreur (Megamix) By Neophyte Release date: By 11 October, 2005  |
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