OPINION :: THE END OF NIGHTCLUBS

Current mood: RORLTING
Category: RORLTING Music

So, to separate what will be a week or so ram jammed with interviews and the cleared backlog of reviews, I'm going to throw in a couple of opinion pieces to keep my chest flustered and solicit something.

And I'm starting tonight with a review of the avenues of hedonism...

Basically, I'm tired of pubs and clubs. Perhaps it's a sign of my own age and my domestic position, but whatever's causing it, I'm the kind who generally rolls a touch ahead of the times, so hear me out and point out the errors...


I'll start by saying genuine partying is great. I'm shit at it these days and I haven't been to a nightclub in a coupla months. The last time I went I was bored shitless after about an hour, and had I not have had a review to justify my free entry, I'd have gone then, instead of about 30 seconds after the reviewed act fnished playing....

I mean, since the advent of Studio 54 and the disco era, there's been an enormous level of importance attached to something that is essentially a nastily policed racket run by the kind of gangster cunts, that all smiles or not, aren't the type of person one dreams of spending quality time in the prescence of.

And let's face it, on every practical level, nightclubs are pretty fucking unbearable allround unless the music is good enough to blow such thoughts away and/or you're on the pull.

In clubs, you have to shout everything, the toilets are like the fucking trenches, it's harder and harder to take drugs, and now smoking is banned indoors in the UK

Furthermore, the cult of the DJ is something of a farce and if you've got a half decent stereo and record collection of your own, friends who know your address or a taste for solitude, why the hell should you want to go out anyway??

The fact of the matter is that nowadays it's becoming harder and harder to actually relax in such places without worrying about the drug police, the fag police, the stupid fucking price of drinks etc etc etc

I mean I went to a late license pub the other day and I'd been sat down for a minute and the bouncer comes up and tells me I can't wear a cap.

"Why?" I asked him

"Cause it's dress code"

I walked out...

I was later told, that it wasn't dress code, but that caps are now an apparent security threat because the cameras can't see your face?!? What next? Will spectacles have to be left at the door? Beards? Suntans??

Jesus...

I mean given this shitty puritanical governments putrid obsession with 'binge' drinnking, how long is it till drinking itself is banned in pubs incase we get fucking drunk??? Shit, let's do the job properly why not???

For my money, the only ever good and interesting thing about clubs and the more fruity edges of pubs was the freedom - that you could let your hair down in them and shake off the week without bother and hassell...

And now you can't

And with this being so, I'd far rather sit at home with a beer that i don't have to queue for, that is actually fucking cold, a stereo that can play plenty loud enough, and no twisted face drug lords in my face, than ever tolerate another fucking nightclub again, unless there's someone completely fucking blinding playing live and i mean LIVE...


So, it's my bet, that as the smoking ban takes effect and as the commercial festival circuit continues to proporgate, clubs and pubs will loose importance and start to falter over the edge. People will figure on house parties as being far less hassell, and use the almost weekly outdoor festivals for their more gene ranging fun in the summer months...


Well shit, perhaps this sounds like I've gone into middle age Librarian mode, but one should always remember that Librarians have the most fun and that you ALWAYS ALWAYS have to watch the quiet ones..

Currently listening : Let It Go By Tim McGraw Release date: By 27 March, 2007

01:13 - 15 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	OpinionatedPress	The last time I went to a club, was for a VIP event, where none of the actual bands turned up. I was stuck with my mate ignoring me for a bunch of stuck-up rocker lesbians, with bad haircuts, the drinks where expensive and the music too electric for a rock band atmosphere, all i wanted to do was go home and smoke a doobie. Posted by OpinionatedPress on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 01:36 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR	It's a common problem... I reckon about 83% of people in nightclubs would rather be somewhere else, but are there because they don't wanna loose face.... I'm thinking of starting a campaign to ban nightclubs... Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 01:39 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Paloma Pirate	i always wanted to be on the "list" for shows at clubs. and, now when i am, i usually seriously consider not going, or interviewing the band and not staying for the show. i find myself saying more times than i'd like, "i'm too old for this shit..." i think people are getting more obnoxious, the volume is getting louder (and i am getting older and less tolerant) and there is no more letting one's hair down because 1. it is not allowed 2. most people are too cool to let their hair down anymore. but, maybe it is just me in my ripe old age. and you are right about the quiet ones. i'm a quiet one...i should know. Posted by Paloma Pirate on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 01:55 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR	If there's good live music I'll put up with more or less anything, but to watch some overpaid cunt spin a few records..... But i know what you mean - BEWARE YOUR DREAMS!!! Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 02:10 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR	Or should that read, watch some overpaid cunt watch his computer spin some records.... Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 02:16 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	caroline	I don't think you're rolling a touch ahead of the times here. this started about 10 years ago. I was living in san francisco and used to go to see shows at this place called trocadero they played the loudest shows I've heard in my life. the last time I was there I was so annoyed I kept being followed by some guys saying - oh you can't place your foot there. oh you can't smoke. don't do this don't do that . last saturday the feature article of the biggest swiss newspaper was about the libertine aspects of zurich nightlife that are disappearing slowly but surely. ... aren't there any squats in england Posted by caroline on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 08:52 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR	Damn! There was I thinking I was proper psychic.. Sure there are squats, but they're even more skanky than nightclubs and unlikely to fulfil the roll of legit places for most people at least... With Rock N Roll being subdued from every angle into the serious business it's always wanted to be, I'm fascinated to discover where all that energy and angst is going to surface instead...? Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 09:34 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Festival Pam	he he, you need to get yourself to some warehouse parties far more relaxed!! although don't copy my outrageous behaviour from last saturday night. got so drunk that my friends had to put me to sleep on a sofa at midnight behind the djs. i woke at 3 am all bright and breezy to be told that i had missed the dj that i was really looking forward to. My mates all start laughing and when i enquire what they are laughing about they inform me that as said dj walked past me i lifted my head up and vomited on his white plimsols!!! oh dear. but it is all good brought him a few drinks to say sorry and got an invite to his birthday party. and we all carried on the party at kubicle. go check out mulletover or issst both good parties. Posted by Festival Pam on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 11:53 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR	Well great shot with the puking - that's the kind of thing one can't normally do when trying... I'm sure there are plenty of good parties still out there - but partying has never been my strongest suit and I abhor light social chit chat - it bores me shitless...( All I essentially want from a pub is a place to have a seat, a beer and a quick, no stress think.. All I want from a club is the above, but with excellent and loud music, cheap drinks and no fucking bouncer nazis preventing one doing all the things that Studio 54 was fanous for.. Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 15:43 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Engrish Professor	You are on my level with this one. I have tried to bring up in conversation this notion of club 'scenes' and all that becoming obsolete in the not-so-distant future. Nobody really took it seriously and brushed it off as me being anti-social and weird. But seriously - with the ever-changing internet landscape and increased network/bandwidth capabilities, 'virtual nightclubs' may not be too far off... I know people will argue that humans need to socialize and drink and interact physically with others, but honestly I'm over it. I do that for work, and I just don't care to deal with it on my free time. It used to be a totally different scenario back in the late 80s/early 90s, going out to clubs and warehouse parties and sketchy afterhours parties. I've had experiences ranging the gamut, from seeing God and falling in love with House Music (pure mdma + MAW's 'Deep Inside' playing as the first wave hit me @ 15 yrs old) to literally watching friends die right before my eyes. And all this before 1995! Safe to say I've earned my right to be 'over it'. Been a club promoter in DC in one form or another since about '97, and been DJ'ing since '93. Started out very innocent/young with no drugs whatsoever in the picture. Was all about the music. Eventually watched the 'scene' degrade into people looking to score E or people looking sloppy and fucked up from the E they took, with a soundtrack playing. I myself got into all the drugs and eventually got in trouble and spent about 2 years of my life in jail or court-ordered rehab. So I'm also over the drugs scene, with the exception of highgrade cannabis (which really ain't drugs but thats another story). Last time I took a pill while at a club, all I wanted to do was escape into solitude away from the club. I still do some level of club promo in DC, but it's a totally different scene - very progressive and not at all drugs-oriented. Unless you count Bleeps'n'Bass a drug, which isn't too far off. We do a monthly party, 6-10pm dedicated to live laptop battle between graphic designers - projected onto big screens in realtime for everyone to watch.... 10-3am dedicated to the Glitch and all things bleepy + dancing humans and crowded bar scene. Our venue does not advertise as gay, but "socially progressive" or "gay-friendly" and ultramodern. There is NO security to watch out for. You do not get searched going in. The management trusts its clientele to behave themselves, and for the most part they do behave well. Gay/gay-friendly venues have many tricks up their sleeves.... as a dude, you can get a drink quicker at the bar even with 10 brazilian models standing in front of you. Speaking personally - as a bald/hairy dude, I get hit on way more at the gay spots than any regular straight clubs - which is always nice and flattering but often awkward. And although The Gays here in DC tend to prefer falling into the stereotyped personality that TV/Movies have created for them, you don't have to deal with the masses of corny eurotrash dudes hitting on all the females, wearing expensive-looking armani and versace clothing and stinking of too much bad cologne. sorry for the disseration! Posted by Engrish Professor on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 17:47 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR	We're always going to want to socialise, but we've done that long before nightclubs, and all i see now is people standing outside pubs and clubs because they can't be free inside, which tells me they'll soon fuck them off completely unless the laws suddenly liberalise again... Like I say, i think most clubs are just fucking mafioso in every which way - they're big shitty cons that people feel obliged to like because they're hip and they have spangly lights... Thing is if you can't get off your face or light a fag without going for a trip to the countryside that hipness is gonna disappear double quick... Bringing in the whole virtual angle is important, because people are just as virtual when drugged off their heads in a club where they can't hear people speak as in a room with good bandwidth The physical is defintaley becoming less and less relevant... Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 01:20 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	mark	people keep going on about how the club scene used to be better, how it stood for something and mattered but its changed and now sold out but the harsh truth is that your old enough to remember the scene in the 80''s and 90's your too old, your just not the target demographic. if you have been to a dinner party then your not who they want there. yeah clubs arn't good but they never have been. as for drug taking, i'm afraid thats what has fostered this guilded view that clubs used to be better. if your on drugs everything seems great, thats why i don't do them. i'm sick of sitting in a 24 hour cafe in liverpool street thinking this is the best fucking breakfast i've ever had, when clearly it was shit. its simple live music is good so therefore watch as much of it as you can, from the busker in the street to the stadium gig. if the music isn't live they it should be the backdrop to a social gathering and not the focus Posted by mark on Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 10:29 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR	Some very good points.. I'm aware I'm just getting a little old and that some kids will love clubs for many years to come. But clubs have to be a place of freedom to work - if they become like christian youth clubs they'll be unfashioable - unless young christianity is coming back in??? Maybe kids just aren't smoking these days and maybe they don't care if there are bouncers jumping up the sides of toilets to look in and see what drugs they're taking. If that's all they've ever known, maybe they accept it... My honest impression of the kids today is that they're quite happy to be spoon fed honey and maybe that's how things should be. Maybe it's time for youth rebellion to end. Maybe we're heading back to a more Victorian time, where kids had respect for what they had and don't need/are not allowed to rebel... Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 10:59 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Engrish Professor	all drugs and jesus points aside, any venue touting a 'dress code' can promptly fuck off. I do not care to support those beougois establishments who feel the need to treat their paying customers as school children. Nor do i generally care for the clientele that is attracted to such venues. all fuck off. Posted by Engrish Professor on Sunday, July 15, 2007 at 21:12 [Remove] [Reply to this]

PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR

my point exactly... DOUBLE FUCK OFF!! Posted by PAUL GIOVANNI 3RD : AKA : PIOUS THE UNPOPULAR on Sunday, July 15, 2007 at 21:16 [Remove] [Reply to this]