Current mood: OUT THE HIPOPY ON THE BONFIRE...
Category: OUT THE HIPOPY ON THE BONFIRE... Music
OK, it's that time of the week again AGAIN...
Yes boss, it's the moment when I take on an established act, band, song or LP and ask (with a heartfelt sigh)
What the fuck????
Well, I've done this particular ?ask? before, and the reason I'm doing it again now is because I have a sore back and I therefore don't have the energy to knock out a sufficiently sanctimonious and venomous attack on Coldplay....
Now, in case you think I'm joking with these entries...
I'm happy to confirm that all the views contained within are the real and genuine views of me Paul Giovanni 3rd AKA Futureproof Pious.
I don't lie or make up swipes for the hell of it - I don't need to.
There are simply too many pop musical and wordly things I don't understand.
Perhaps I'm stupid, or perhaps I see things all too clearly....
Whichever and whatever, I strongly urge you to take issue with me as you see fit:
If nothing else, my aim here is to further enforce the idea that disagreement is healthy, rather than the sorry plague it's nowadays seen to be (especially on this hive of myspazzian surface niceness)...
So, this weeks easy target is the song Imagine by John Lennon...
Imagine is one of those holiest of cow songs.
It's one of the golden pretty babies that no-one dares to question or touch.
Every time there's a poll concerning the best songs of all time - this load of risable tripe will find it's way into the top 5.
IT HAS A RETAINER ON THE TOP 5.
It's a banker - a sure fire nailed on bet!
But the PG£ opinion is that Imagine is the worst kind of obvious and awful crap nonsense of recent times...
To start with, let's take a look at the lyrics:
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
Well, my first problem here is that this is nothing short of godawful student poetry...
Yes boss, this is just the sort of thing we've all been guilty of thinking and writing at the back of our school text books - and this is precisely why it's such a big and hugely popular song...
But when we come out with this sort of crap, we're most usually in our late teens or early 20s.
Yes boss, we've been thrown out of the endless innocent fun of childhood into the murky world of PLANET ADULT EARTH, and all we want is our dinner on the table, and to keep on playing, with no rent to pay..
Instead, all we get is war and death and money and disease and pointless destruction, and it puts us in a big fat FUCKING FUGGG!!!
This FUGGG can last a while, or even a lifetime, but rather than dealing with these shitty disgusting realities of life and grudgingly learning to love the world in all it's putrid and corrupt beauty, far too many of us become involved in trying to SAVE the world and bring about a brighter day...
Yes boss, we start wishing the world wasn't inherently violent.
We start aggrandizing and inaccurately loving the vicious beast that is nature.
We convince ourselves that one day God will come down and save our own useless asses and set us all onto some beautific plane of love and wholeness where we only ever eat Rivita Organic Crackers and drink the purest mountain spring water..
I was guilty...
In fact in the past, several of my alter egos have been as guilty as HELL on this one.
Yes boss, I once wrote terrible poems about Badgers.
I had long hair and tried saving the world...!
But I was young then, and now I'm pleased to say I've seen that the light is always half dark - that every positive needs a negative.
Beauty needs corruption.
Life needs death.
Perfume needs shit.
Winners need losers
and taking the one away from the other simply isn't possible...
Furthermore, spending all day, everyday sitting side by side holding hands, drinking organic pearl juice and playing acoustic strummies is and will always be awful...
DULL DULL AWFUL AND FUCKING DULL....!!!
But that's not my only issue here...
No boss, I'm willing to bet there's a whole bunch of folk reading this, who took exception to my suggestion that all war heroes are in fact murderous cunts in that other blog - not least because many of you will have loved friends and family who have fought in wars...
Well, to be clear, I didn't say that to incite hatred towards war heroes or even to morally judge them - I'm just stating the facts of the matter...
Anyone who kills another human life with intent is a vicious thug murderer - whatever the perceived and/or good reason, might be behind the killing...
And here's the thing that annoys me....
I reckon there's a whole bunch of professional or conscript soldiers who play Imagine and dream of peace...
Their conscience then cleansed, they then go out and kill..
What I'm saying, is that I think this kind of a shoddy ill thought out record encourages aimless dreaming and a conscience 'cleansing' rather than any kind of change...
It makes it easier for people to kill and watch killing..
It functions just like religion - it helps to wash away the sins to allow fresh sins to be committed..
Imagine is a vacant fucking dream - it isn't a suggestion, or a vague way forward, it's just some cunt selling records and making his myth almost impenetrable...
Yes boss, we're talking a long haired intellectual, past his prime, twanging away on a an old Johanna, dressed in white, pretending to be Jesus, pontificating worse than Bono has ever managed - yet it and he is taken seriously....
My point is - if you genuinely think war is crap - stop being involved in it and treat anyone who is, as being a murderous cunt even if they're your family - that's the beginning middle and end of it..
And that people don't and aren't ever going to do this, is exactly why war will continue..
In fact, I think the bottom line, is that we like our wars: they're exciting, they make good TV, they provide jobs, they secure resources and territory and they underpin our current wealth...
SO LET'S JUST CUT ALL THIS IMAGINE CRAP, be honest and say:
You know what?? We LIKE WAR!!!! It's not pretty, it's not nice, it's vicious and hateful, and is the scourge of our humanity - but there's no going on without it - not unless we want to go back to cave dwelling...
Lastly and completely leastly...
Imagine is awful because it's obvious and badly written pop song
Yes boss, when it gets to that last line and neatly finishes, it becomes the tweeist and most embarrassing pop moment of all time.
So:
IMAGINE - GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!
CAN'T BUY ME LOVE - COME ON!!!!
 | Currently listening : Expensive Shit / He Miss Road By Fela Kuti Release date: 2000-03-21  |
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