GOOD RIDDANCE THE LONG BLONDES!!!!

Current mood: WELL FUCKING JACKSON!!!!
Category: WELL FUCKING JACKSON!!!! Music

So, today I was browsing my staple diet of magazines and newspapers here online, and I found the rather excellent news that The Long Blondes have split up...


NOW, THIS IS GREAT NEWS!!!!

Yes boss, I've always vehemently disliked The Long Blondes - they are one of these bands that the music media and certain critics get phenomenally excited about for no apparent reason..

The first I heard of The Long Blondes was when they were playing the Culture Show on BBC 2.

Yes boss, for a while I was going along to the filming of this each and every week and If I didn't know the artists who was to perform, I'd check them out here on the spazz to see if it was a worthwhile use of a day...

Well, like I say, The Long Blondes were on, and I checked them out, and what I saw bored me senseless - we're talking an average indie band, with quirky retro fashion and no particular fire or heart or even any good tunes...

I therefore elected to do something else less boring instead, didn't go watch them - and imagined The Long Blondes would soon disappear without trace...


Well, time passes, I read the music press, and I increasingly get the impression, The Long Blondes are being hyped up.

Furthermore, this Kate Jackson (who sings) is being built up as being something of a figure of note despite her never saying anything at all interesting...

Yes boss, much like Louise Wenner, singer in 1990s band Sleeper, it's Kate Jackson this and Kate Jackson that, and I check back to see if the music has grown at all or if this Kate Jackson is in fact attractive (of course proper beauty doesn't always come through on first glance) - and it's the same old boring dross, meanwhile Jackson still looks like a badly dressed young Chrissie Hynde...


Well, foolishly, I keep reading the music press and The Long Blondes hype continues.

JACKSON COMBS HERE HAIR!!!

JACKSON WRITES A NEW SONG!!!!

JACKSON PAINTS A NEW PICTURE THAT SHE MIGHT USE ON THE NEXT LONG BLONDES LP!!!!!

JACKSON IS FROM SHEFFIELD!!!

THE LONG BLONDES ARE FROM SHEFFIELD!!!!!

JACKSON , JACKSON, JACKSON!!!!


Shit, girls are starting to dress like her, and sectors of the media are becoming obsessed with this shoddy indie band and it's miraculous frontwoman!!!

But I keep looking back and listening back (because I'm a sucker for strong black haired women who might be attractive and because I'm taking music writing seriously and I don't want to miss the pulse) - and THE LONG BLONDES ARE STILL FUCKING DROSS AND KATE JACKSON IS STILL NOTHING SPECIAL AT ALL!!!!

BUT ALL I HEAR IS THIS JACKSON JACKSON JACKSON!!!!


Well...

Things went quiet.

I then heard something they'd done hadn't done so well, and then that they were in the studio being produced by Erol Alkan (who's another MR ALT.HYPE!!!)

Then today I both read that the band has split!!

AND THAT THE AMAZING KATE JACKSON IS GOING TO GO SOLO!!!!


GOD HELP US!!!!

Currently listening : Tiny Reminders By Two Lone Swordsmen Release date: 2000-10-31