Current mood: MOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Category: MOOOOOOOO!!!!! Music
There's jobs to do...
Tomorrow, Tommy Nadir is getting married. He needs to buy cat food, get cds copied and buy a pair of shoes that match his suit...
But before any of that, we need breakfast...
I notice a lot of things about Norwich as we walk to find it:
For one, the faces are completely different to London.
Everyone looks relaxed, coloured and plump.
I don't mean coloured as in shades of skin colour.
Norwich has no serious ethnic diversity.
It's one of the whitest places in Britain.
This so, when I lived there, my neighbours were a Pakistani family. They ran the corner shop. I used to go over to theirs to play chess and buy weed.
There were 2 brothers. Their father and mother had a place elsewhere and they had brothers and sisters scattered all over the UK and plenty of family still in Pakistan.
One of the brothers was engaged to an Italian girl.
He was very much in love.
But his fiancee was killed in the Alqaeda Tube bombings in London the 7th of July 2005
She was passing through on her way to somewhere else
In London everyone looks grey, stressed and thin...
London is Eldorado.
Norwich has no significant industry, it's a farmers city, a covered market, the same club nights every week, pubs, old churches and quiet, quiet streets...
It's the easiest place to sit around all day smoke pot, live well, drink high quality beer for cheap and talk about projects that you intend to do one day:
Imaginary bands like Raw Cake, HX001, books about cycling tours to The Alps, club and pub nights with 4 people....
That's largely what we did for 3 years
But if you want to get anything done, you're best off moving away...
And by the end of the 3 years, I couldn't do that quick enough
As far as I could see, nothing signficant about Norwich has changed since then, apart from the addition of one new shopping centre and some new homes on the site of the old hospital.
The shopping centre sits on the site of an old Nestle chocolate factory
One evening Nadir and Giovanni tried to hurl a traffic cone through the window of this factory. It wouldn't go through. It was like something out of Spinal Tap. We kept hurling the fucker, but it wouldn't break the bastard glass - in the end we gave up...
In the afternoon, we go to meet the bride and a bridesmaid.
It's sunny
Chitter chatter
Chitter chatter
The bridesmaid mentions something about small tubs you can hold that make cow noises when you tilt them....
Nadir & Giovanni become enraptured by the idea of tubs that make cow noises, and upon leaving the pub, we do a circuit of toy shops...
As we do, I discover I'd love to burn down the Early Learning Center chain of toy shops. They sell dull, joy free toys for use in getting your kids on the road to logical and bland normality.
And they don't sell cow noise tubs.
We visit an independent toy shop and find these tubs. We try them out, there's birds, pigs, sheep and a horse, but no cows...
WE NEED A COW!!!
In the late 90's Madonna wanted to record some tracks with the Aphex Twin. He refused to get involved with her. He said in an interview that he would only do tracks with her if she made animal noises that he would then sequence into a track...
It was that or nothing.
The Aphex Twin is a cunt, but cunts have their uses...
Unfinished business
We get a cow tub that MOOOOO'S!!!
We spend the rest of the day wandering around aimlessly, making cow noises.
Inside Boots
'That's £1.73 change..."
"MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
For the next 36 hours, that cow in a tub becomes our rosary.
If in doubt or stress
MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
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