Current mood: PROUD OF WHAT???
Category: PROUD OF WHAT??? Music
There's nothing I like more than a set of disparate and apparently unrelated events that later converge into an attractive and strange whirl...
Here comes one...
Saturtday April 26th
Despite saying I wouldn't, I made it along to see the stars play at The Proud Galleries...
Yes boss, having spent the day in THE SUN!!! I was lured by the idea of a free guestlist and the knowledge that having spent the day telephone marshalling Italian paparazos to chase Honeymooning golfer Colin Montgomery around Venice & James Bond around Lake Garda, Mrs Giovanni wouldn't manage to stay awake beyond 11pm, thereby leaving me 3 or 4 extra hours to spazz out and slump into a lonely and self pitying drunken heap....
On top of this, I wanted to see the new version of Proud Galleries and of course see the stars play their first UK gig since their 10 date Italian tour....
Well, I got to Camden and I was a little drunk, and when I'm that way, I tend to have even greater difficulty with authority than normal...
Yes boss, knowing me as he does, and sensing this could be a problem to affect the evening, Mr Clinker posted me a comment on my smoking ban blog...
"Try not to "reason" with the doormen tonight about it anyway haha. At least not til we've seen the Stars."
Sound adivce indeed!!
So, I arrived in Camden, and upon finding the bars entrance, marched straight up to the door with all the required authority of A HIGHLY IMPORTANT MUSIC WRITER ON THE FREE GUESTLIST!!!!!
'Well, that sounds perfectly normal!! And just what a man of your calibre should do!!!!' I hear you say
Apparently not...
No boss, at Proud Galleries you have a bouncer and a person with a clipboard who's job it is to marshall you down one thin portion of the barriered off pavement, leaving a whole car width sector of pavement (that goes nowhere) for use in the case of an emergency. And because I've developed a keen instinct to avoid anyone approaching me with a clipboard, I missed said clipboard person completely and found myself on the emergency bit on the wrong side of the fence, too close to the door?!?
I knew this because, a bouncer pointed out that I couldn't stand on the emergency vehicles track in case there was an emergency requiring emergency vehicles!!
I WAS CAUSING A HAZZARD!!!!
'It's alright, I'll move if there's an emergency' I joked, entirely seriously
'BUT YOU CAN'T STAND THERE!!' she said with that lack of hunour so often displayed by our burly black suited friends...
Remembering Mr Clinkers advice, I meandered back down in the direction in which she was pointing, but as is often the deliberately on purpose way, I didn't move quite quickly enough....
'YOU CAN''T LOITER HERE, THIS AREA NEEDS TO STAY CLEAR IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY!!!!' she repeated as if I hadn't understood already...
'But I've never had problems moving in the event of an emergency...' I repeated..'If I see an ambulance, I'll leg it!!'
'BUT YOU HAVE TO MOVE OVER THERE!! YOU CAN'T STAND HERE!!'
'Listen I understand your point, but you're insulting my intelligence'
etc...
Now, maybe I should just do what I'm told in these situations and i'm certainly aware that this kind of belidgerant behaviour can make one very boorish indeed, but I'm also of the belief that asking 'Why?' is important and these days you're not encouraged to do so...
And that is SHIT!!!! And very dangerous...
Anyway, Mr Clinker and his lady wife Tomoko arrived and the bouncer allowed us in, we took an immediate left and ended up in a bar with a burlesque thing going on.
Well, you can call me GAY!!! If you like, but I don't get Burlesque at all:
It's prick teasing. It's silly. It's a manifestation of womens excessive sexual power in the modern climate and it's about as big a turn on, as a frilly fucking Chiuahua..
So, neither excited or thrilled, I moved on, away and found that the new Proud Galleries is a super organised modern new club.
Housed in a massive set of old stables, it has some character, space for a couple of thousand and occupies a very handy location indeed.
On that occasion, the crowd was composed of footballers wives and cutey cool kids horded and herded together in pens like the former resident horses. The DJays music choice was guaranteed cool dance music. Drinks: bottled beer only (a clever way to sell pints at twice the price) and the smoking terrace was so jammed, you could barely move...
Oh and they had a wanky hand man in the toilet with his creams and sprays etc..
So, The PG is super cool!!
It's a sleek, mean running business machine...and therefore not a whole load of fun..
What was fun, was that Liza Minelli's ex, David Guest was mingling...
Seriously....
Anyway, the stars have the music to rise above both poshly dull clubs and David Guests plastic surgery and they soon got on with a fine set.
They premiered new divations on their live sound and diffferent arrangements of tracks. Horton Jupiter touched the fans, Giles hit some very colourful drums. Everyone did their thing with much aplomb, and as often happens, half the crowd looked confused and the other half, joyous...
The only duff angle was that the sound quality was a little boomy (which given the venue is only a month old is something of a disgrace) but otherwise everything was top good!!
The stars were followed by some dubious metal band - the kind of clean cut cool boys who wear Black Flag T-shirts..
DULL DULL DULL
And then it was nightclub alt.commercial dance music...
Wishing to bleed the night dry, I stuck around till late, to see if the place got at all lively - but it didn't.
If anything, it got more stale and stagnant. At 1am on a Saturday night, there was a full dancefloor with next to no-one dancing it. Meanwhile there was real or pseudo coppers in the toilet swipping the cisterns for traces of cocaine; bouncers telling you to keep moving (perhaps because if you stood still you'd see the moneyed farce of it all) and an overwhelming feeling of middling medium mediocrity...
So, basically, I didn't much like it.
No boss, from the word go, I felt cajouled and ordered about by a maze of petty rules and regulations enforced by troops of security and clip boarders, and frankly, under those kind of conditions, I'd most often rather leave it out, or go to the fucking opera instead...
So, if I was you I wouldn't much bother going to Proud Galleries more than once, life is too short to be so controlled and making fun in such a place, becomes very cold and hard...
Oh, and the strange whirl of events?!?
Well, I was chitter chattering away about The Proud Galleries last night and I remembered I'd had communication with someone to do with the place before..
Yes boss, remember this picture that sat atop this blog until last week?? The very same one, I use to try and haul in new subscribers??
I downloaded it from the winternet months ago (after completing a search for pictures of tracksuits) and my OA added the Giovan-Head...
Well, out of the blue in the Autumn of last year, I exchanged the following correspondance with someone who, now I look at it again, seems to have something or everything to do with organising the Be@Proud night...
http://www.myspace.com/beeventsltd
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Be Presents...
Date: Oct 3, 2007 2:52 PM
omg
that shell suit wearer image that you have raped is me!
dan
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :
Date: 03 Oct 2007, 08:22
Ha!!
So who looks best in it you or me?? Are you going to take me to court and sue my ass off??? Can I buy the suit off you????
Oh...and have you seen this vid yet????
p 'thieving' g
From: Be Presents...
Date: Oct 4, 2007 4:01 PM
Subject:
RE: No Subject
I havne't worn the full ensemble in a while actually! yeah i should sue your ass! + i dont think i could part with that beaut.
i saw that band at adventures in the beetroot field Bournemouth, and my mate is in the vid!
why you send it to me??
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