Current mood: SHARE THE WEALTH....
Category: SHARE THE WEALTH.... Music
The second Royal Albert Hall anecdote concerns one of the few times I actually went to see my sister play at a venue near the Hall...
I think this must have been in some kind of hall or concert hall within the Royal College.
It could have even been her graduation ceremony...
My memory of some things is very poor indeed...
Anyway, I was in the area for a do of my sisters and I'd got there a touch early...
And I'm wandering about looking for something to do.
To fill in a little of the background:
This is 1994 and I'm living here in London, but I have no idea what I'm doing here or what is where.
I'd originally moved here for 'saving the world' reasons (there was a roads campaign over in Leytonstone and Wanstead) I then stayed on to be nearby my girlfriend of the time..
Well, as per now, I didn't then spend a huge amount of time hanging with my sis or for that matter hanging with anyone...
No boss, we get on from a safe distance and I'm probably only going to this College do because my Mum and Dad have told me I HAVE TO GO!!!
Truth was, I never much liked going to my sisters do's..
I've always had a very strong sense and idea of what I WANT TO BE DOING and if (as a child) I had a pound for each time I was dragged along to a concert or a musical or something 'to see my sister play' I'd be very rich indeed.
To get around this curricular imposition, I would always take a book along.
My mother hated it, but I can out stubborn most people, so each gig I'd have a copy of a bird identification book or a book about skulls or rocks or Amazon Adventure, or Whale Adventure or perhaps even Gorilla Adventure - basically, whatever was blowing open my coat.
I'd then sit quietly bored in my seat and read, whilst whatever was happening on stage happened...
Anyway...
This London do I am as per usual terminally short of cash and even though London wasn't then as expensive as it is now, it was still super dear..
Well, I'm walking away from the Hall towards Kensington High Street, and I walk past a phonebox and as I'm passing it, I notice what appears to be a large pinky coloured purse on the floor of the box...
I keep on walking...
I get 5 or 10 yards the other side and my curiosity gets the better of me. I go back into the box and pretend to make a call whilst lightly kicking the purse - it jingles MONEY...
Well, as if my megalomaniacal paranoia needed anymore highlighting, I'm fearful this is some kind of TV stunt..
Yes boss, Beadles About is a big TV show at the time and given that I'm in posh town London, I figure there must be some hidden cameras somewhere, and as soon as I pick the fucking purse up some cunt is gonna jump out of the bushes and start badgering me about moral choices...
But fuck it - I'm skint, and it appears that there could be money in the purse..
So, I pick the purse up and walk...
A hundred or more very paranoid yards later, I decide there are no cameras or cheery fucking TV presenters and I stop and look inside the purse..
There are two compartments
The first contains a little small change and the second contains a nice wedge of £50 notes and a receipt for a coffee percolator..
Now if this were to happen today - and something similar (though not quite so lucrative) did happen recently, I'd pocket it all without the slightest qualm.
Yes boss, this is Kensington, there's nothing in the purse except a BA reciept - it obviously belongs to some rich bitch who was out doing a little shopping - we're probably talking someone so fucking inbred aristo, she'd make the fucking Royal Family look handsome..
But then, I was rather weighed down by my peasant morals and the idea of being good and honest....
Well, I kept the purse, didn't mention anything to the family, saw my sisters do, bought a 4 or 8 pack of Guiness with some of the cash on the way to my girlfriends, and left her with the decision, whilst i got drunk...
She decided we had to give it in, so the next day we took it to Peckham Police Station and then a month later we went and got it back because no cunt had claimed it..
I gave her half the cash (it was about £287), and spent the rest on an all black mountain bike with state of the art hyrdraulic brakes...
 | Currently listening : So Tough By Saint Etienne Release date: 1993-03-09  |
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