Current mood: HAHAHAHAAAAAAA
Category: HAHAHAHAAAAAAA Music
Regular readers will remember my blasting off once or twice in the past at the ever so middle class rock act that is Primal Scream...
Yes boss, whatever this aging cabaret act were in the past (and I personally doubt they were ever really that much), I fail to see how anyone can see their circa 2008 roadshow as being anything other than a very well polished and lightly gilded turd floating down the stream of mediocrity towards the big sedimentation tank in the sea...
At least that's my opinion...
But whatever you think they are, one thing is for damn clear - Bobby and the creeks are certainly not anything approaching dangerous, raw, rock 'n' roll, vital, revolutionary or any of the other words that are continually attached to them by their evermore sycophantic and brainless press and nothing illustrates my issue with them better than the following...
Bobby (my brother has a budgie called Bobby - it wasn't named after Gillespie but it should have been) and the boys are about to embark on the NME Rock 'N' Riot tour...
HA HA HAAAAA!!!!! HA HA!!!! I hear you laugh out loud - the words 'NME', 'Rock' and 'Riot' in the same sentence?!?!? But that's nonsense!!!!
YES IT IS!!! But add the words 'Primal Scream Headlining!' and slip this list of rock horror SHOW ME THE MONEY £$£$ VENUES!!! in...
Oxford Academy (November 20)
Cardiff University (21)
Bristol Academy (23)
Southampton Guildhall (24)
Reading Hexagon (25)
Nottingham, Rock City (27)
London Hammersmith Apollo (28)
Norwich UEA (30)
Sheffield Academy (December 1)
Brighton Dome (2)
Birmingham Academy (4)
Cambridge Corn Exchange (5)
Leeds Academy (8)
Newcastle Academy (9)
Manchester Apollo (11)
Glasgow SECC (13)
and you've got the best joke going AKA the easiest shot for a Giovan-tirade for some time!!!
Yes boss, lets be frank - this is a FUCKING STUPIDLY FUNNY FARCE!!!
We're talking a bunch of middle aged, middle class men, pretending to be dangerous rock and roll stars playing about the most corporate set of 'small' venues the UK has to offer and calling the tour the NME Rock 'N' Riot tour
HA HA HA HAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!
HA HAHAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Now, don't get me wrong here, I don't object to Bobby and the boys getting themselves a nice new set of bricks and a couple of hundred grand in the bank per year for their working efforts...
I WANT THE WORLD TO BE FAT SMUG AND RICH!!!
Neither do I mind the 'Scream complaining about the LIVE music being too loud in their local pub, because it disturbs their sleeping children...
I don't even mind Rolling Stones tribute acts playing to people who enjoy hearing that kind of thing - each to their goddamn own...
What I do object to the facade and lies of it all...
Yes boss, it's very fake and horrible..
I mean why not be honest Bob?!?!?
Call your tour the 'Boring old men saving money for their new extension and kids school fees tour '08'.
At least there'd be a joke there and it wouldn't be on yourselves...
Yes boss, you hear all these folk queuing up to lay into the likes of Simon Cowell for being money grabbing obsequious cunts - and when I saw him winking and fawning his way around the goodish contenders on last nights opening X-Factor, I can well understand why he's HATED....
COWELL IS INDEED A HORRIBLE AND SUCCESSFUL CUNT!!!!
But Cowell is at least an HONEST and successful cunt - he's exactly what he says himself to be - an 'in it for the money' music business freak of nature...
Meanwhile Bobby and the boys are LYING FAKE ASSED CUNTS!!!! who piddle one thing and poo another...
So, I therefore say:
Primal Scream: If you're gonna be fully paid up members of the shiney haired club, please don't come out with all this 'RIOT AND REVOLUTION!!!' chitter chatter..
It's false, boring and stupid....
It's the kind of thing Cliff Richard would do if he were short of a few bob..
It's AN ABSOLUTE AND COMPLETE FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT!!!
PLEASE STOP IT NOW!!!!
 | Currently listening : Introducing Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci By Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci Release date: 1996-08-20  |
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