A letter from home....

Current mood: APPALLED...
Category: APPALLED... Movies, TV, Celebrities

SHITTING HELLL!!!!

MRS G KEEPS TUNING INTO BIG BROTHER AND IT'S DRIVING ME MAD!!!

Which could well be half of the reason why she does it...


On tonights episode of this ever running bore fest, some of the contestants recieved 'letters from home'

The letters driveled 'loving' cliche after cliche, upon which each housemate took it in turns to cry and wail, and be cuddled and comforted as they assured the watching public of how much they loved their Mum and their Brother and their Great Aunt Maude...

It was all gut wrenchingly fake and/or tritely awful...

In fact it was like watching a funeral except that everyone was still alive...


I think it's fair to say that this 'letters from home' episode illustrated my one and only problem with BB:

It's not that I mind the concept of the show at all, more that I object to them only ever getting dull fuckwits in the Big Brother House...

Yes boss, on the rare occasion some proper and genuine nutjob slips through the selection net, they're rapidly kicked off the show because they talk too loudly or bully the other idiots, or because they leave of their own sensible accord...

This filtration process leaves behind all the bores who then sit around all day like they're on school camp and jabber endless nonsense punctuated by shreiking...

It's a long way from good enough...

Yes boss, to keep my attention and empathy, they need to load the house up with proper freaks and subnormals - the type of folk you try to avoid on the train because you're afraid they might stab you - the sort of folk who'd offer your hopeless 12 year old brother drugs...

Until that happens, I can only dream that one day 'a letter from home' will say something like the following....


Dear Son,

I hope you are well.

I'm sure you're expecting some kind of 'you're the apple of my eye and I think all your friends in the big Brother House are amongst the finest and funniest people since Gandhi,' - but I'm afraid you're gonna have to prepare yourself for a shock.......

Yes son, rather than salivating over your choices in life like small and obedient dogs, I'm afraid your mother and I are going to have to buck the trend and deliver you some hard home truths...


The first of these truths, is that when me and your mother were working 2 jobs each in order to raise you and your 3 sisters to our highly thorough and demandingly exact standards, we never in a million years dreamed that you, OUR ONE AND ONLY SON would do something as idiotic, banal and DOWNRIGHT STUPID as go on a TV program like Big Brother...?!?!

No son, we sincerely hoped that one day you'd go out and explore the world and discover something new - that perhaps you'd be a scientist or a merchant seaman or a poet.

We dared to dream that one day you would find love, and perhaps have children and really get the most you possibly could from life...

But no...

Rather than doing something keen and clever with your obvious talents and skills, you've instead reduced yourself to a pathetic and lame attempt to gain temporary fame, by way of playing idiot games, shreiking and screaming 'OH MY GOD!!!' 7 or 8 times every ten minutes, like a sorry, needy and dismal child...

Yes son, to say we're appalled by both your choice to go on TV and your apparently shameless attempt to be famous at all costs would be an understatement - WE'RE HOPELESSLY MORTIFIED!!!!


Perhaps the most disappointing aspect in this whole sorry episode is that your mother and I are forced to watch your lame ass attempts to pull that shocking harridan of a whore who calls herself 'Genniney'

Yes son, to say that this girl is a WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE!!! would be the understatement of the century...

Sure, we recognise we might not have been perfect parents, but we did our very best to show you right from wrong, and we did honestly think it possible our lifes work and effort might enable you to see the difference between a good and useful woman and a fucking awful fame grabbing charlatan whore like 'Genniney'...


So son, we'd like to take this opportunity to go on record as saying we don't like what you're doing, we don't like your 'friends' (Genniney in particular) and we really are horrendously disappointed in you, and hope to God that you soon see sense and GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!!!

Yes son, we want you to know that we are HUGELY HUGELY disappointed in you and earnestly request you stop embarrassing yourself in public any longer...

SO PLEASE SON, LEAVE THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE NOW!!!

FOR ALL OUR SAKES!!!

Lots of love from

Mum & Dad...

PS: And please do stop fawning over the disabled person like that's what you do when there are no cameras around...

We remember you getting sent home from school, because you used to bully 'four eyed' Johnny Kember for being a bit simple...

You're not fooling anyone...