A letter from the bankers....

Current mood: LOADSA....
Category: LOADSA.... Jobs, Work, Careers

Well, after having such fun yesterday, I figured that today might prove to be harder work....

But it hasn't really been too bad...

Except I did get some slightly unpleasant post...


Yes boss, after almost 4 years of faffing about sending me letters that were so fucking boring, I haven't even been opening them for the last 18 months, Barclays Bank is saying it's going to make me bankrupt over £5,710.45 that I owe them...


Well, my first thought upon opening and fully understanding this letter was:

'ABOUT BLEEDING TIME!!!'


Yes boss, since I started defaulting on my various repayments to 7 separate financial institutions which total aroundabout £50,000, I've been waiting for this kind of a gander to kick off...

In fact, I expected to be in deep shit of this kind within 3 or 4 months of the first default!! And all told I've been utterly amazed it's taken almost 4 years for them to get serious about reclaiming their monies...

I guess it shows how much cash they've been making that such figures are barely worth bothering about...


The wierd thing about going bankrupt in the UK, is that if you want to do it yourself, it costs a few hundred pounds to set up...?!?

That's a feature that's always confused me:

I mean, the sceanrio is that you don't have any fucking money - but to get that confirmed by a court of law, you have to pay the courts a few hundred pounds....


For this reason and others, I've not gone into bankruptcy voluntarily - even though (had I of done so straight away) by now, I'd have been well through it all and on the way to claiming a new line of credit....

Instead, I felt it best to wait for a creditor to declare me bankrupt - they then pick up the tab, ask me for the money and I say:

'Well I haven't got any money anyway...'

and very little changes...


The thing that disappoints me about todays banks (other than the fact that they are the worst kind of parasitic and selfish cunts) is that bank staff take no responsibility for their employer...

Yes boss, every time you speak to them either in the branch or on the phone, they always refer to their employer in the third person..

'Oh, I can see what THEY'VE done here..'

or

'Oh yes, THEY'VE levelled that £35 charge because your direct debit was taken 2 days early..'

I'm looking at them in their uniforms, and I'm thinking

'BUT YOU ARE THEM, YOU CUNT!!!!'


Annoying as this self reality denial is, you can't deny that making their own staff so embarrassed to be associated with THEM, is yet another a clever move on behalf of the banks...

Yes boss, to hit someone effectively, you have to be able to see and then strike a target - and the poor bastards who work on the bank counters are pretty badly paid, and harrased looking, and many enraged people (myself included) think...

'Oh, I'm not going to blow off at them, because they look like they hate their job and they aren't even THEM!!!'

But they are...


Meanwhile, the clever big guys who are definately are THEM, are hiding away like rats in their glass towers, well, WELL away from the anger of the average punter, who's been charged an illegal £35 fee for being slightly disorganised...


I guess I might sound bitter or angry at the banking world, but I'm not - far from it..

No boss, I don't hate the banks at all - in fact I love them!!!

By way of their own greed to hook me, they've inadvertently donated a fantastic £50,000 to the Save Paul Giovanni Fund.

Yes boss, I can happily confirm that I feel no guilt and that I've had an absolute whale of a time spending their cash in all manner of frivolous and stupid ways..

Furthermore, despite their best attempts to get it back, I reckon these bankers are going to be very hard pushed to get more than £1 or 2000 before the bankruptcy passes into the past tense, which leaves me with something in the region of a £48,000 profit on the whole operation!!!!

Not only do I have no bastard cash to give them, but to get at my insignificant assets, they have to come to my fort here on Fish Island, and then I have to let them in - for this kind of unsecured debt, they can't just break down the door and clean you out...

I have to let them in...?!?

And do you think I'm gonna let them in???

Why do you think I live in a gated compound with 3 big FUCK OFF metal and glass doors between me and the outside world?!?!


I guess what I'm driving at here, is that if there's one thing I've learned and attempt to practice in this world, it's that you should try and treat as you yourself are treated..

And given that banks and bankers only aim and desire is to make as much fucking money out of me as possible - my only aim and desire with banks and bankers, is to take them for every last penny I can...