69 THINGS TO MAKE A STARVING AFRICAN LAUGH...

Current mood: FUCK OFF BACK TO OXFORD THOM!!!!
Category: FUCK OFF BACK TO OXFORD THOM!!!! Music

One of my first MAJOR works of arty art is gonna be a set of pieces called:

69 Things To Make A Starving African Laugh


As of yet, I'm not too sure how I'm going to exhibit this idea, but I think it'll probably be a photo, words or object depicting each amusement, together with the title

69 Things To Make A Starving African Laugh Number 1 (2,3,4,5 etc)

(and maybe (if the picture or object doesn't fully explain it (which means it'll be a crap exhibition and that I have no artistic talent)) a quote of somekind as well...)


So, I've already got a number of these 69 amusements together

There's gonna be things like:


Bottled Water (That'll just be a bottle of spring water from New Zealand that's been flown here. It'll be standing on a plinth)


Shiboleth AKA The Crack that was in The Tate Gallery Floor (I think the artists rationale will do the job on that one - maybe made into an animation with emaciated but happy African Children laughing as they read it and peer in to the chasm)

Doris Salcedo's Shibboleth is the first work to intervene directly in the fabric of the Turbine Hall. Rather than fill this iconic space with a conventional sculpture or installation, Salcedo has created a subterranean chasm (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!) that stretches the length of the Turbine Hall. The concrete walls of the crevice are ruptured by a steel mesh fence, creating a tension between these elements that resist yet depend on one another. By making the floor the principal focus of her project, Salcedo dramatically shifts our perception of the Turbine Hall's architecture, subtly subverting its claims to monumentality and grandeur. Shibboleth asks questions about the interaction of sculpture and space, about architecture and the values it enshrines, and about the shaky ideological foundations on which Western notions of modernity are built. (HAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!)

In particular, Salcedo is addressing a long legacy of racism and colonialism that underlies the modern world. A 'shibboleth' is a custom, phrase or use of language that acts as a test of belonging to a particular social group or class. By definition, it is used to exclude those deemed unsuitable to join this group.

'The history of racism', Salcedo writes, 'runs parallel to the history of modernity, and is its untold dark side'. For hundreds of years, Western ideas of progress and prosperity have been underpinned by colonial exploitation and the withdrawal of basic rights from others. Our own time, Salcedo is keen to remind us, remains defined by the existence of a huge socially excluded underclass, in Western as well as post-colonial societies.

In breaking open the floor of the museum, Salcedo is exposing a fracture in modernity itself. Her work encourages us to confront uncomfortable truths about our history and about ourselves with absolute candidness, and without self-deception. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!)

This lit billboard will also feature (or maybe I'll make a neon sign that burns red hot and says SAVE ENERGY!!!!!

The of course there will be

Radiohead


OH SHUT UP ABOUT FUCKING RADIOHEAD!!!!

I hear a number of you yell

'Thom and the boys have done a load of good work for African charities and they're currently looking to do their bit to save the world by organising their own super-eco gigs in Paul Giovanni's local park, rather than being fucking normal and playing with all the other kids at a festival like Glastonbury because they have the half cocked notion that London is in some way 'greener' than Glastonbury...'

But in a rather predictable fashion, I'd like to reply

'There is no band more ridiculous. They're absolutely fucking bonkers!!! They're middle class family men, with a shitload of money in the bank and all they can do is wail pain....'

PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER MEN!!!!!

Goddamit, tonight, I was doing my level best to block Thoms wailling out, but just occasionally the massed cheering that greeted another grizzle, would slip between my own stereo and the equally appalling news that Germany are once again in the final of a major football tournament....

That people pay good money that could easily be contributed to the Save Paul Giovanni Fund, to see and hear Thom wailing his stupid pain is something I can barely fathom...

I mean, I cycled past the entrance today at 3pm, and there were already people queuing to get into the gig - they'd already got tickets - THEY JUST WANTED TO GET CLOSER TO THE SOURCE OF THE WAILING!!!!

FUCK!!!

You can call me wierd if you like, but if I see some wealthy and successful person wailling about their pain, I tend to give them a wide fucking birth - either that, or laugh, pass on by and wish them a quick death...

I certainly don't queue up for hours to get a closer look and then cheer madly for MORE!!!

It's my absolute honest to gods opinion that in a hundred or so's years time, when our childrens childrens children are working 14 hour days in sweatshops to supply cheap goods to China, people will come by cds of OK Computer and piss their pants laughing at the idiocy of such sounds that were made in the good old days of their Great Great Grandparents boomtime...

Anyway:

Coming Soon

69 Things To Make A Starving African Laugh


I AM A CLEVER AND KNOWING ARTIST!!!! PEOPLE WILL LIKE MY WORK!!!!!

Currently listening : 68 Million Shades By Spring Heel Jack Release date: 1997-01-14