Current mood: HEAVY ESSAY
Category: HEAVY ESSAY Life
He was one of these who's clever enough to temper what he says to whom and when. The type who understands that wearing a swastika on the forehead is going to attract unwarranted attention and result in trouble of some kind - especially in a country that spent 7 years fighting the nazis...
Julienes acolytes were Scottish and English. The Scot was as racist as Julien, but no blood and thunder nazi. The English guy was just weak and impressionable. I don't think Freddy believed in Julien, but Julien was battering Freddy with his views because he was in the next bed and because Freddy didn't have the balls to tell Julien he was a stupid twat...
When Julien was testing people out, he'd merely talk of the abstract 'beauty' of 100,000 men marching at Nuremberg - like Lemmy and Bryan Ferry have. You would await the disclaimer (that the politics was all wrong, that Hitler was a mad shit etc) - but it would never come and you'd think 'He's not is he - he can't be, those sort are extinct aren't they???'...
It was this combined with a like of other aspects of his character, and my desire to give people the benefit of the doubt, that took me so long to work Julien out - that and because I had my walkman pumpin in tunes to distract me 24/7...
No, that's a lie...
I found Julien suspicious from early on and on the previous lab visits choose to aneathetise myself with my walkman so as not to hear and then have to do anything with him, should he prove unequivocally to be a nazi...
Yes boss, he's a big hunk of meat is Julien and I have no physical threat at all. When banged up in a lab on bad drugs for 2 days at a time, I hadn't felt I needed to have a rabid big bad nazi evil-eyeing me all day long - I therefore avoided and blocked him out with music..
But this last visit, I forgot my walkmen headphones (they turned up in the washing machine) and this time Julien was less careful with his words....
He started to referring to the nurses in terms of nationality.
"HEY PHILIPINO!"
When no-one of colour was about, he'd start referring to the definite attributes of whites and non-whites. He'd discuss the fuhrer at the lunch table and would intimidate the multinational nurses when and where he could without exposing himself too obviously...
There's a nurse called Johnny.
Johnny is far too nervous to be taking blood. He shakes like a leaf. He looks to be pereneially on the verge of complete nervous collapse. Julien worked this out and preyed on him with bluntness to the point where Johnny had to refer taking blood from Julien to someone else because he was too scared...
"Why's your name Johnny when you're Vietnamese?" Julien would ask
"Err, all my borthers and sisters began with with J and my parents wanted me to err,,"
"It's a bit funny having a good English name when you're Vietnamese though isn't it?"
"Well, err.."
"Oh don't worry" Julien would say (clearly not meaning it at all) 'My names Julien, it should have been something far more German.."
Julien took to putting still film depictions of swastikas as the wallpaper on the communal computers. Me and another guy would remove them. Juliens acolites said we were mad to do this - that he would kick the shit out of us if he knew (they would tell him), but once I'd done it, I realised he was a big bark with a bite he couldn't use.
This isn't to say Big Jules wouldn't have enjoyed beating me or any impure nigger and faggot lovers to bits. He's been a soldier in the South African Military and I wouldn't be at all surprised if he's already administered plenty of beatings. But Julien was clever enough not to start attacking people in the open from where he would get caught and outed for what he was...
Well, Julien is leaving the UK in December. He's going back to South Africa for a few weeks then going to either Germany or Scandanvia where he figures the good blonde specimens are...
Good riddance is an easy thing to say - he's no longer going to be a problem for me..
But it leaves me worried. We're so rammed full of honey these days, we're giving our power and guts away bit by bit and whilst we might not give a shit about this power and like the fact life has become easy, the people who can take advantage are people like Julien...
Shits like that one are shrewd enough to know to keep a low profile and wait for their moment, and meeting him has reminded me that it's very very naive to think Nazis and the like are a thing of the past, the like of which we'll never see again.
It's my guess they're hiding away, biding they're time and regrouping. They're waiting until everyone is buttered up, dependent and disempowered and then they'll be back...
That's unless you believe we already live under nazis...
 | Currently listening :
Wagner: Overtures & Preludes
By Richard Wagner
Release date: By 29 September, 1992 |
13:31 - 16 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
No comments:
Post a Comment