QUALITY POP..

Current mood: MANLY NEW MAN SPEAKS HIS MIND...
Category: MANLY NEW MAN SPEAKS HIS MIND... Music

LIFE IS A ROLLERCOASTER...

Current mood: HEY SUGAR...
Category: HEY SUGAR... Music

SOLID GOLD...

Current mood: MONDAY SOMETIME IN AUGUST..
Category: MONDAY SOMETIME IN AUGUST.. Music

MELTING DOWN PT2

Current mood: YEAHHHH!!!!
Category: YEAHHHH!!!! Music

I fix the puncture and ride on into town for PG£ day 2 of Meltdown..


This set of Meltdown dates, is marked by bands I know little about.


The Yellow Magic Orchestra are one such..

I stumbled upon them because of the album Yellow by Senor Coconut.

Yellow is a record full of covers of Yellow Magic tracks, and it and Mr Coconut are brilliant in themselves.

As a result of loving that LP, I did rudimentary and far from thorough reseach on the Yellow Magic Orchestra

Nothing decided, I arrive to collect my ticket and it's not there. The boss appears at just the right moment and apologises for the error.

'Do you mind a box?'

I'm issued with a ticket

Boxes are like what royals sit in!!!

I feel royally made up...

I AM PAUL PIOUS JAMES GIOVANNI £RD AND I'M IN A FUCKING BOX AT THE ROYAL FESTIVAL HALL LISTENING TO MATHS ELECTRONIC-ROCK!!!!

Yes boss, the first band on are called Pivot..

As with the trend, I know nothing about them beforehand, but they are great.

It's exact, felt, yet solid rocking...

Yes boss, there are many ways to judge music, but the one I like the best is deciding you like a band because they spike adrenalin down your spine and Pivot did that...

The minute they finish, I run outside. I have to make an important call.

'Are you sitting down??' I say to Mr & Mrs Giovanni senior

'You're gonna be grandparents again in December'

My dad laughs..

I don't blame him

Yellow Magic Orchestra are a relaxers dream

Sartorially exact and musically diverse, but very calm and unwilling to rely on the hits, I like their diverse instrumentation - but at times the sound mix isn't brilliant..

There's also one set of visuals that starts on the 'Save The World' trip


I've recently understood that as with everyone else, musicians really are thick when it comes to politics.

BASICALLY: THEY DON'T FUCKING CARE!!! SO LONG AS THEY CAN STRUM OR HIT, MUSE OR PROGRAM!!!!


But the Yellow Magic Orchestra pull it round with a track full of questions about war. They're good and useful questions about war - questions that really challenge and provoke thought...


In Japan this band are The Beatles (according to Wikipedia) which means the Japanesse are a country mile ahead of the UK in evaluating important music...


Job done.

I don't get invited to the after party and after last nights performance I'm not surprised...

Leslie does. I see him about again as well as the guy with the afro from Nathan Barley & The IT Crowd. It's a matter of time before I shell him in a drunken moment.

'TAKE ME ON?? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED AN ASSISTANT!!!!'

OR

'I WANT TO KILL YOU!!!!????'

Currently listening : Yellow Magic Orchestra By Yellow Magic Orchestra Release date: By 2003-10-06

1:56 - 33 Comments - 19 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove -

	Paloma Warhola is the Queen of Infinity	do i owe the giovannis a congratulations or is this some publicity stunt??? "Are you sitting down??' I say to Mr & Mrs Giovanni senior 'You're gonna be grandparents again in December' My dad laughs.. I don't blame him" if it is true, you will make fine parents.... Posted by Paloma Warhola is the Queen of Infinity on Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 20:26 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	A publicity stunt?!? THE VERY THOUGHT!!!???? Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 03:03 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Paloma Warhola is the Queen of Infinity	well then, CONGRATS!!!!!!!!! you will make excellent parents. give my love to mrs. G!!!! xoxoxo paloma Posted by Paloma Warhola is the Queen of Infinity on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:09 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	Will do.. Thanks)) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:11 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	EUGENE MACHINE	YES, IS THERE TO BE A MINI GIOVANNI? Posted by EUGENE MACHINE on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 01:41 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	ERRR...YES!!!! Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 03:03 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Brigid Power-Ryce	ahhh congrats! Posted by Brigid Power-Ryce on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 04:43 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	Thanks..)) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 04:51 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	simon	Congrats on the good news about the mini mini PGC! Will you be posting pictures of the baseball cap wearing infant as shown on the scan sometime soon? I hope you'll be helping Mrs G in every way she needs in the coming months, oh and will you be the stay at home house dad!! Posted by simon on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:17 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	The first scan is tomorrow... I fully expect to see the little blighter wearing a baseball cap and glasses - if neither is the case, I will have to question Mrs Giovanni as to if the child is mine..... )) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:56 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	EUGENE MACHINE	http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j219/eugenemachine/minigiovanni.jpg Posted by EUGENE MACHINE on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 15:14 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Colossus	WHOA!!! ANOTHER ONE? THE WORLD IS NOT READY!!! ! Congrats man....really....can't wait to see you and congrat you properly! Spider and the gang xx Posted by Colossus on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:40 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	I can only hope this new addition to the Giovanni family takes after it's mother... If he/she pops out saying 'I'm going to write books and don't much care about money...' Mrs Giovanni will be very unhappy indeed!!! Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:58 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Clinker	Yea congrats man. The real living mini PG!. Amazing how you just dropped that into a totally unrelated (not to you i guess) blog. Full marks! Posted by Clinker on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:41 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	)))))))))))))))))))))) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:59 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	hot sister	i feel so in the loop. Posted by hot sister on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:43 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	There's nowhere better to be, than in the loop.... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 08:59 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Colossus	The loop, the loop, the loop is on fire! We don't want know water, let the mother fucker burn! Posted by Colossus on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 09:54 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	...	The end of an era... Congratulations. x Posted by ... on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 10:39 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	I feel sure the world could well be saved if there are more Giovanni's in it.... Thanks...)))))))))))))) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 11:36 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	maryJane	congrats to mrs giovanni and yourself !! super cheers along with an x&o !! Posted by maryJane on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 10:54 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	Thanks....))) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 11:35 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Brigid Power-Ryce	oh and watch out the paul giovanni mini clone doesnt get jealous of the new arrival.... Posted by Brigid Power-Ryce on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 11:50 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	Unfortunately My Official Short Clone hasn't taken the news very well at all... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 11:52 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Brigid Power-Ryce	oh no, if he needs a new family that can give him full attention, pass him on to me Posted by Brigid Power-Ryce on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 12:49 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	I think he's worried about succession... He thought he was going to inherit the Giovan-Empire all to himself and now there's a competitor for the throne... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 13:42 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	EUGENE MACHINE	http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j219/eugenemachine/minigiovanni.jpg Posted by EUGENE MACHINE on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 15:15 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	EUGENE MACHINE	Posted by EUGENE MACHINE on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 15:16 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :	Mmmm... Looks normal and healthy to me!! Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 15:25 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Minnie Musique	HOLY ARE YOU EVER PRODUCTIVE!!!! Is the babe copyrighted? So happy for you both! :) Nice writing btw! Posted by Minnie Musique on Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at 17:16 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Princess Stephen	YMO!!! YMO!!! their track 'tong poo' rules over all else. you lucky bastard. Posted by Princess Stephen on Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at 01:54 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Wendy	Sorry..didn't catch this yesterday...did i miss something? A baby? YOU??? Hahahahahaha!!! Oh! You're SERIOUS? :))) Warmest wishes and well done then. Wxxx. Posted by Wendy on Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at 15:22 [Remove] [Reply to this]

: THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ :

Yeah exactly.... HAhhhhhhaahahhhhaaaaahhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHaaaaaa!!! Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF CUDDLING POP BLOG BY PG£ : on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 at 02:31 [Remove] [Reply to this]

JUNKIES AGAINST DOPE

Current mood: TURN OFF THE FUCKING LIGHTS!!!!
Category: TURN OFF THE FUCKING LIGHTS!!!! News and Politics

MELTING DOWN PT1...

Current mood: MIXING IT...
Category: MIXING IT... Music

Well, well, well...


I'm more or less back to London normal - or at least as London normal as I get.

Yes boss, I've forgotten all about catching trout, breathing fresh air and frollicking in the heather, and am instead back to GIGS and BIG DRINKING!!! and riding the bike home at great speed, scaring the living shit out of less unlightened people who've chosen to stagger home (especially last night: I had a puncture for 4 of the 5 miles home, meaning a rather nasty GRRUURNRGGGGGNNRNNNGGGNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! noise)


Anyway, this week is tripple busy with highmusic highjinks.

Yes boss, this last little while, I've been helping a bloke out with a myspace prescence for a festival tent as well as a band called Last Man Standing.

I appear to be developing this as a sideline:

'Talk to Paul: He'll sort out your myspace!!'

I get things going, people pay me and/or return favours - everyone's a winner!!!


So, the guy I'm currently working with runs the contemporary music events at The South Bank and perhaps the crowning event of his professional year is The Meltdown Festival.

Meltdown is 10 days worth of music and musical events as selected by a luminary of music. There's been Lee 'Scratch' Perry, John Peel, David Bowie, Nick Cave etc

This year it's Massive Attack. I'm not sure they quite fit into that kind of company, (and they should be shot twice for that stuff they did with Madonna), but they've done some good tracks down the years and their productions are always interesting - if somewhat dark...

My wages for this spazzing work therefore consist of the following..

Sunday: The Yellow Magic Orchestra

Tuesday: Massive Attack do Bladerunner

Thursday: Grace Jones

Saturday: George Clinton


Last night, I gave the main event of either Gong or Massive Attack play the hits a miss in favour of Russia Vs Greece in the Euro football finals, and instead swanned along for the late show which featured a band called Fuck Buttons.

I like Fuck Buttons.

I like overdriven distortion noise music very much indeed.

I love it when sound obliterates everything else - when it's abstract and heavy wierd and you've got people down the front on drugs, who's heads are EXPLODING!!!! I love to see these people undergoing their heavy musical religious experiences - that kind of thing really makes me smile.

So, chapeau Fuck Buttons!!! I'll definately go and see you again..


After the gig, Don Letts DJays.

I find the boss, and he presents me with a pass for the after Massive Attack reception. I go to floor 5, flash my pass and I'm in with the beautiful people.


So what does a Massive Attack aftershow look like???

Curiously normal..

Having reconitered the free bar and acquired 2 beers (first things first) I examine the room for major and minor musical celebrities.

I spy Massive Attack. They have a corner - it seems to be mostly made up of loyal family and friends - not much or many in the way of A-listers .

I notice that Daddy G is fucking HUGE. About 6ft 5 or 6. He's a very neat looking man.

Then there's people who I assume to be Gong - all super wierd outfits, growing old with a hell of a lot of colour..

But these stars of the show aside, there's just plenty of the usual hangers on, record company people, groupies and organisers, friends..


Now, I know that some of these people could BE SOMEONE!!! Someone who could help Giovanni's notorious rise!!!! But as I've said before, the problem that stunts my music writing career is that I can't much be arsed with all the business talk and I don't like talking to strangers or new media types and.

So instead, I briefly chat with the boss.

He says he has more work for me and that he's lost a bass player 10 days before the biggest gigs.

Riz MC drops in on the conversation on his way out.

Riz MC has been the support act for Massive Attack. He mentions Amy Winehouses manager is in the room - that he's said he likes Riz MC - or something like that. Riz MC is on the up. He's full of optimism and burning on the rush of playing a huge gig, then being told he's good by someone with clout..


Winehouse's manager is a big guy. In fact he looks like a rugby player. But his outer demeanor is super calm. He reminds of Leslie Vinakolo.

Until I know Manager Winehouses real name, I decide to call him Leslie.

I think Leslie lives on Fish Island - that's why Winehouse ended up here for that few weeks of drug hell..


I sit there wondering if I have anything to say to him.

Should I tell him that Mrs Giovanni works for the paprazzi agency that stiffed Amy with that Chinese impression song - that the worst is yet to come, that also on that stolen camera, no 'found in a toilet' camera, are old photos of Amy giving Blake a blow job?? Of the pair of them in the bath - really personal stuff...

He probably knows that already...

Perhaps I should convince him I'm the only important music writer on the planet and that Amy needs to pop over to Fort Giovanna for some crack and a good and indepth interview?!?

Or maybe I should simply adivse him to get his girl out of the spotlight - that I know a great Scottich retreat 4 miles off road, where the only crack is that which appears between the rocks...

Leslie doesn't look like he needs adivce - he leaves the room.


I concentrate on my own talents.

I've talked about my talents before.

One I didn't then mention then, was that I'm great at maintaining a 6ft personal space at all times I want it. I'm very able to send out ice cold 'DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME!!!' vibes. It's a stupid thing to do at a party, but I prefer to watch..

A girl sits alongside. She breaks into the Giovan-zone. I consider it to be an illegal approach.

'Oh' she says 'You know that feeling when you're out and you've lost her friends and you can't find your mobile phone?!?'

The girl reminds me of Winehouse, that 'eyes all over the face, just about holding it together against huge odds' look...

Trouble.

'It'll turn up!!' I reply, keeping my focus on the crowd..

She rumages in her bag 'Oh yes, there it is!' she leaves the zone..


Winehouses manager is back.

I say nothing, watch everyone and drink the free beer.

There's a week of this to come - I don't want to peak too soon...

Currently listening : Use Your Illusion I By Guns N’ Roses Release date: 1991-09-17

MOOD SHIFT SHIFT BACK TO GOOD AGAIN...

Current mood: JOY...
Category: JOY... Music

Currently listening : Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? By Of Montreal Release date: 2007-01-23

AND MARK DID VERRILY SAY....

Current mood: IF GUY AND MADGE SPLIT, WHO GETS TO KEEP THE AFRIC
Category: IF GUY AND MADGE SPLIT, WHO GETS TO KEEP THE AFRIC Music

'I wrote about what was around me; that was the whole point - to get down the experiences, scenes, people, etc. But some people are so daft they don't understand that writing about Prestwich is just as valid as Dante writing about his inferno.

There's nothing stranger than the things you know but don't quite realize. Pointing it out is the difficult thing. But you can bet that once they get it the world has changed in a wierd little way; it's an altered state. But it works the other way as well. And it happens in a flash. It empties you a lot more than you think. I've been lucky in that respect. But I've known people who've returned from London after a week or two, or even just a night, and their entire creative mind-state has altered beyond recognition. All at once they're rootless. The London bodyswamp has skinned them. I see it also with people who have gone and 'travelled'. They lose so much of who they are they can't retrieve it, they just float around talking about travelling all the time. No stories or anecdotes, just talk of more travel, of more time in Cambodia or somewhere else equally as fucking impoverished and war torn. It's a similar midset to that of ghoulish celebrities who quietly travel out to Congo with a school of cameramen and journalists. And once they get there they can't wait to start picking up young kids with half an arm. I find that very odd: celebrity healers.'


Taken from Renegade: The Lives & Tales Of Mark E Smith By Mark E Smith

THE MAKING OF PAUL GIOVANNI PART 3

Current mood: ALLEZ ALLEZ!!!
Category: ALLEZ ALLEZ!!! Life

Well, life can get complicated and when it does, one often needs a good lawyer and in my protesting days, I was generally very lucky with lawyers...

Yes boss, on occasion, I had the 'duty solicitor' who was on call, and who had no fucking idea about who I was or what I was doing, or why I felt it might be important, but generally I was lucky to be well represented at all times..


When it came to suing the police, I was fortunate to have the very best of lawyers..

Yes boss, by a vague acquaintance I ended up being represented by a Mr Hugh Tomlinson QC..


Now, I knew at the time, this guy wrote the textbooks on suing the police, and now I've just checked his CV and found he's represented and/or opposed Pepsi Beckham and Don King..

Basically, he's a big fish, and he made me £5500 for nothing very much - so I should add him to my heroes list..


Of course, I feel inclined to boast and claim all due credit and responsibility for finding Hugh - but I can't.

No boss, getting him on the case was all the work of a woman called Juliet McBride.


Juliet McBride, was, at the time of these arrests, training to be a solicitor herself and was already well connected, after having been involved with protests against American atomic weapons based at Greenham Common and Aldermarston.

The genius of Juliet (if you can get a question asked in parliament about the theft of your mobile you're a genius) is that she works the rules.

Rather than getting cynical or defeatist, she reads the books, finds the loopholes and cracks the cases...

She knows there are always gaps and that the power often makes room...


So what am I saying with all this???

Well...

Commit crimes and sooner or later you will get punishment, but that should never stop you from doing something if you feel it's the right thing to do...

I look back on those times and see some fun, some hell, some right and quite a bit wrong about how I was and what I was at - but I have absolutely no regrets...

No boss, up to now, I feel my experience of life suggests that doing what you think is the right thing, often pays out, every which way...

It won't make you comfortable, or easy, or financially secure. It doesn't always pay the rent, or please the dole, or make your relationships with friends, lovers and family easy. It won't put a new Ford Zafira in your garage every 3 years, or get you knighted, or even ensure you are loved - but it builds a good and memorable life..

And that's all I want...

SOME OF THE BANDS PT1....

Current mood: RE RE-WIND...
Category: RE RE-WIND... Music

I've been in the music writing game long enough to have watched the progress of a few acts from the bottom on up.

So here we go with an overview of some of them and their progress to date....


The first 2 new bands I picked up on were Tall Pony & Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. I found them both via Huw Stephens Radio 1 show...

I completed interviews with both and saw Dan Vs Pip play a good few times in the space of a month.

The Dan Vs Pip interview was the first full interview they and I ever did. It took place at The Spitz in Spitalfields somewhen aroundabout February 2007..

This interview is yet to be published anywhere. I had a spell of trying to hawk it around various magazines, but at the time no-one was interested and I was tired of writing my guts up for the pieces only to stay in the sock drawer.

Since then, the act have gone on to reasonable success. They've toured all over, supported the ubiquitous Mark Ronson and are right in with.the Jack Penate, Adele, Kate Nash crowd..

I found my own interest in them to be pretty temporary. I liked the humour of Thou Shalt Always Kill but after listening to a copy of the CDs they gave me, found the music to be lacking in flair and too talky preachey.

I also can't get interested with any of that crowd they sit with - as a bunch they lack anykind of proper deep soul. They're a bit like an end of year school concert: Good hardworking play by the rules types, doing their turn to stilted applause and soon to be obscurity...

AKA

As boring as wallpaper..


Tall Pony appeared to suffer a big break up shortly after I email interviewed them. As with Le Sac & Pip, their track 'I'm Your Boyfirned Now' appealed on a humour level - I feel it's lasted better and I put it in epsiode 5 of Casa Hasa Giovanna...

Again, I couldn't find a paying market for that piece, but I wrote it up anyway..


Another act to blow my trumpet early doors was a band called Blah Blah Blah. I saw them play as support act to The Wombats in Islington (I was there to see the another support act called Black Cherry)

The Wombats were completely fucking awful.

The formular was obvious:

Take an offbeat creature as your identity?!? Come from Liverpool. Play cheeky boyish pop rock, and away you go..

AND AWAY THEY'VE FUCKING GONE!!!!

Nowadays they're selling out huge fucking venues and Paul McCartney has said he wants to produce them. If he does it'll be the kiss of death and I'd imagine that's why he wants to get involved..

I have the distinct impression Sir Paul doesn't like to see Liverpool acts do too well...


Anyway, Blah Blah Blah struck me as being somekind of a modern day version of Chas N Dave. They were excpetionally polished LIVE and I loved their song about staying alone in a caravan over christmas.

I mostly loved this song, because I did exactly that one yuletide:

24 hours in the van, no food, no presents or any of that la la - it was interestingly dull..

I informed the band of this fact at the end of that gig, they gave me a CD and I liked it a lot to start with, but again found it didn't have much in the way of longevity.

I'm not sure where I stand with that band these days.

As with Le Sac & Pip they seem to keep some pretty horrendous musical company, but I figure Blah Blah Blah are gonna have a hit at some point. They work their bollox off gigging all over and I reckon they'll keep that up until they get their deserts.

Indeed, last Saturday when I arrived in the tiny town of Fort William from that heavenly peninsular in Scotland, I found a free gig in the park and who were there headlining???

THE MAKING OF PAUL GIOVANNI PART 2

Current mood: YOU GOTTA SPEED IT UP, AND THEN YOU GOTTA SLOW IT
Category: YOU GOTTA SPEED IT UP, AND THEN YOU GOTTA SLOW IT Life

So, 3 arrests in 5 months might sound like a decent rate of return for a nipper of 17/18 years of age, but compared with some of my older co-conspirators, this was a very poor tally indeed, and at times I felt like I wasn't pulling my weight....

Yes boss, by the time I was off the con mark, some of my workmates were already well into double figures for the year!!

But though multiple arrests certainly ensured plenty of good press and a hearty feeling of self righteousness, it also meant a life dominated by one long set of court appearances, and after initially reveling in the badness of it all, it soon became clear that such a scenario wasn't the best strategy for a sustained campaign...

In the long run, I was therefore pretty happy with my more modest total.


The Police without Sting...

The strange thing with these 3 arrests, and, for that matter those that have come since to Planet Paul, is that the police have always made a nonsense of them...

Yes boss, down the years, I've done plenty to warrant serious and minor convictions on completely legitimate terms, but each time I've been pulled, I've been doing absolutely nothing wrong....

As a result, I've never even been fined for a criminal action let alone sentenced to prison.

In most cases the charges have been completely dropped, and in two cases, I've successfully sued the police for £2000 and £4000 in the civil courts..


Number 1

The first time I got the official wrong side of the law was at a demonstration against a quarry in Somerset.

The charge was Breach Of The Peace.

Now, what I actually did, was to wander about a quarry for a few hours, leave when asked to (under escort of the police) then immediately return, wherein I was arrested.

I was held for a little over 24 hours in Shepton Mallett nick and then cautioned in court the next day.

I later sued the Police for wrongful imprisonment, unlawful imprisonment and malicious prosecution.

They paid me £2000 in an out of court settlement.


Number 2

My second trip to the cells was a few weeks later at Twyford Down which (because it was 5 miles down the road from home) was where I spent most of my time

The charge this time was a rather curious Breach of The Peace AND Obstruction of The Police (a made up and illegal combination) and I was held for over 53 hours.

The Police attempted to bind us by bail conditions that would mean we couldn't go anywhere near the area of protest, but we steadfastly refused them and went on hunger strike ot make it clear we weren't joking...

I was convicted at Andover Magistrates court a few weeks later and recieved a conditional discharge.

Later, by subpoenering the polices own video evidence, as well as that taken by the Private Detectives (who were paid over £250,000 by the UK government to follow and spy on us) I successfully sued the police for wrongful imprisonment, unlawful imprisonment and malicious prosecution.

They paid out £4000 out of court, but I only got £3500.


Paying the law...

The £500 I lost, was automatically deducted as 'costs' for the £1.4 million High Court Injunction, The Department of Transport had slapped on 68 of the most persistent Twyford Down offenders, of which I was one.

Basically, having tried the 'arrest and scare the hippies route' to no effect, The DoT and constructors Tarmac had sought other means to keep us in check.

Once passed, the High Court Injunction banned us from an area of land the road was being built on. It also sought to claim the costs of the delays and the night time criminal damage to their works on the road up till that point...

This meant the 68 of us were collectively liable for this £1.4m, as well facing up to a month inside, for each time we were caught breaking the new rules.


Happy Birthday Paul!!!

I was issued with that injunction on the nail of my 18th birthday.

I remember it arriving on the mat with the birthday cards.

WELCOME TO THE ADULT WORLD PAUL!!! HERE'S A HIGH COURT INJUNCTION!!! YOU OWE US 1/68th of £1.4m!!!!!


Changing Tactics...

So, with the Injunction in place, we had to shift our focus...

My third arrest was therefore for burgulry in Wolverhampton.

This one was curious in that I was kind of guilty, but only in a ridiculous way.

What had happened was that we'd all gone up to Wolverhampton near Birmingham in order to raid the offices of Tarmac, the main contractor on the M3

In our minds it was a question of:

'If we can't bother you on the construction site, then we'll come to your offices instead!'

It was simple enough.

We'd turn up in broad daylight, ransack the office, ruin the hard drives, refile the cabinets, make a lot of noise, scare the secretaries, make phonecalls to Zambia, steal anything useful, and then get the hell out of there before the police were organised enough to do anything about it....


Empty your pockets....

The day I got caught red handed, we'd had a lot of trouble getting inside the buildings.

Basically they were expecting us and had employed lots of extra security guards and heavily locked all the doors.

However because Tarmac owned half of Wolverhampton, we eventually got inside a subsiduary office, wherein we caused havoc, threw selected contents of the office out of the window, and (for a reason to this day I still can't quite fathom), hung around long enough to get ourselves caught...

But that wasn't the only mistake I made.

No boss, it was clear we were fucked when the police boot came through the door. I therefore immediately set about liquidating my pockets of the various bits and pieces I'd purloined, and prepared myself for another night in the cells.

Pockets cleared, I got dragged out (appearing on the local news which my parents happened to be watching whilst visiting friends in the midlands - which pleased them no end) and was taken to the cop shop and searched..

Mistake number 2 was that I hadn't properly cleared my pockets.

No boss, remaining within those voluminous confines were some confidential MOD contracts and a nice colourful leaflet detailing the locations of all of Tarmacs offices countrywide. And because they had nothing on anyone else (these were pre-CCTV days) I was put through the mill on 'Burgulry' charges.

I was banned from Wolverhampton until after the trial (a small mercy some might say) and whilst my lawyers tried plea bargaining the charge to a simple Breach of The Peace (and given that I was already banned by way of the Injunction from the construction site) I figured it was time to go to Scotland, to get some fresh air and to find the wilderness...

THOUGHTS...

Current mood: CONFORM TO
Category: CONFORM TO Music

I guess I'm involved with music because I still vaguely feel it has the power to make statements with power and authority - the strength to influence change and consciousness on some base level....

But I sometimes wonder if that's all a load of bollox - that music is just one big entertainment business - that there never was any Rock 'N' Roll or Punk, that whether contrived so or not, music simply boils down to a floppy and meek social glue that has no power to change a damn thing other than a select fews bank accounts....


I do think there's a fundamental dishonesty about music.

Whereas sport represents itself very overtly as being about pride, passion, competition, nationality, loyalty, conformity and playing the game, pop music has this continual 'I'm radical, I don't play by the rules!!!! I'M BAD!!!!' bullshit about it

Which makes me wonder if the todays pop music biz being so fucking openly conformist, dull, safe and money based is something that should be celebrated...

At last music has come clean about it's true self!!

'I'M CONVENTIONAL!!!' SHOUT THE DAVE GROHLS 'I'M REALLY FUCKING NORMAL!!! SILLY STUDENT POLITICS CAN KISS MY ARSE!!!! LETS ROCK OUT AND MAKE SHINEY HAIR TOGETHER'


I remember an incident when I was at Junior School

One of my classmates was doing a project on

'Something that had changed the world'

He was doing it on tractors. I said he should do it on The Beatles

Fuck knows why I came out with that then - I'd not even heard The Beatles at that point. I had no idea as to whether that poxy pop group had changed a lightbulb, let alone the world...

Robert Richards agreed though...


That RR fellow was a strange one.

I ran into him a while ago after we'd both left school.

Then, I was still working M3 for the green radicals by day and by night

RR was working for a plant hire company that was being sent all the diggers and bulldozers that had mysteriously stopped working overnight...

He was complaining - looking at me with accusatory eyes, because he reckoned I was damaging what he thought to be beautiful creations.

And I was thinking

'WELL DON'T FUCKING COMPLAIN!!! I'M KEEPING YOU IN A JOB!!!!'


It's funny how things go and come around...


All ths talk of protest and wilderness aside, I think the main difference in my own mind between 15 years ago and now, is that nowadays, I don't believe in good or bad.

I've come to the viewpoint that it's all a matter of time and place.

You can dress it up however you like - but it's all time and place...


GOD JESUS?!?!

See what the countryside does to my brain??? I spend a few days with my toes in the fucking seawater and I start coming out with this crap....

KILL ALL HIPPIES!!!! BURN DOWN THE FORRESTS!!!!!

MUSIC IS THE GOD!!!!! GIVE ME SOME CRACK AND SOME FREE TICKETS TO A FUCKING GIG!!!!!

THE MAKING OF PAUL GIOVANNI PART 1

Current mood: RATHER FEISTY....
Category: RATHER FEISTY.... Jobs, Work, Careers

Whilst I wait for the music blood of the city to clear out the fresh sea air, and infect my typing fingers once again, I'm going to run through a few stories from my youth...

Yes boss, that last week of Scotch sun, has sent me down one or two memory footpaths. And I think I'll probably have to write my way through some of that shit, before I can catch up again with the musical world of the Giovan-day.


Escape...

So, like I said in the piece yesterday, I last went up to Scotland in 1993 in order to find proper wilderness.

This was a true statement, but it wasn't quite that simple.

No boss, to put it more precisely, I did want to take a look at the wilderness, but at that time, I was also getting into too much trouble trying to protect countryside in the South East of England and at that particular point, I figured I needed to take a break in order to be sure my philosophy was sound and that I was on the right tracks generally...


So what was the lamb chop?

Well, around about the age of 15, I'd got it into my head that roads, quarries and the like were despoiling the local and global environment and that something needed to be done about them QUICK SHARP!!!

So, like any good teenager, I started off doing the same old youthfully naive shit as everyone else does: Letter writing, petitions, peaceful and tame demonstrations and lobbying politicians.

However, it soon pained me to realise that these activities were achieving fuck all, and by way of a big road being built on one of my favourite local birdwatching spots, I found myself amidst a bunch of people who felt things needed to be taken a few steps further....

Twyford Down

The direct action campaign against the M3 extension through Twyford Down started pretty normally and more or less legally. But it wasn't long before the conventional groups like Friends of the Earth became more concerned about getting sued than achieving their and/or our aims.

Yes boss, after 1 or 2 scares, the big boys bottled it, got back on the train to their London dinner parties, and those of us who remained, organised ourselves and got down to work.


Road Alert!

Unlike the mainstream organisations, our campaigns were all constructed on dole money, stolen goods and curious donations in bum bags from billionaires.

We worked as anonymously as possible and the planning tended to go as such:

Arrival at pub
Pint
Discussion about what was required
Pint
Agreement on course of action
Pint
Job done that night, or as soon as possible after that night

Next job


Success

Now the above mentioned way of working, might well sound like a rather simple way of running a campaign, but at that time, it was proving to be remarkably effective and if anything, we soon became victims of our own success..

Thing was, everyone was a winner:

We were having a whole bunch of fun, the UK public were warming to our ideas, the local community was amazed to find something was actually happening in their locale, the sleepy police had no fucking idea what to do with us except keep arresting us on fake and trumped up charges, the government employed a private detective agency to follow us - then started throwing legal paperwork at us, an acid jazz band wrote a bleeding track about it all, and the longer and longer it went on, the more big time journalists and hangers on were getting interested in what we were doing...

Yes boss, when you're attracting mystery spy journalists from London, who turn up out of the blue, ply you with drinks and pretend to write pieces about the issues you're campaigning about, only to later ditch all that crap, and instead proclaim you to be a 'Terrorist', it's difficult not to be heavily flattered...

I mean I was still supposed to be at 6th form college, and on the few days I'd actually turn up to 'study' I'd found I'd become quite the feared one...

Thing is, at that age, you get all these dull bastard 'hard' kids, who hang around on street corners smoking fags and drinking cans of Hoffmeister and complaining about there 'being nothing to do' and there was I, Giovanni, in the local paper being thrown over a fence by 2 security guards in the eco-wars!!!

The girls loved that (or at least the interesting ones did)

Shit, if only they could've worked out how to approach me and I'd have given a shit about chasing them, I'd have been made or laid, or got married and had 4 children by now!!!!!


Anyway...

Due to the heavily illegal nature of many of those pub made actions and plans, I'm not quite at liberty to discuss everything that went on then, here and now.

No boss, boasting about such things on this here blinger (albeit under cover of a pseudonym) could well still lead to serious jail time for both myself and others.

Suffice to say that unrestrained by anything except our own youthful no-fear creativity, things soon became a lot more interesting and radical and risqué than Greenpeace will ever know, and in the execution of these rather footloose and fancy free actions, I got myself arrested 3 times in 5 months and all of a sudden, life started to get a little complicated....

the young Giovanni (center in blue with hair) gets pulled by 2 handsome young coppers...

Currently listening : Twyford Down (Carded Sleeve Cd Single) By Galliano

BACKGROUND MUSIC TO MY YOUTH BY COLDCUT...

Current mood: REMEMBERING...
Category: REMEMBERING... Music

THE NEW GIOVAN HQ....

Current mood: MOVING ON FEELING STRONG....
Category: MOVING ON FEELING STRONG.... Goals, Plans, Hopes

Well shit, I've come back from Scotland refreshed, and as if by magic I've lost all interest in music writing and musical promotions...

Yes boss, I'm still listening to SOUNDZ by the complete earful, but I've completely lost that desire to be involved in the whole rock 'n' roll business....

After all that sun and sea and solid old rock, it seems thoroughly silly...

I mean, here we are about to dive headlong into a period of dead old economic uncertainty and I'm setting my stall out to work in a luxury business that's been in a complete and utter state of financial fucking turmoil for the last 5 years or so....

MADNESS!!!! ABSOLUTE FUCKING MADNESS!!!!!!


So, where does this leave you and The PGC in general?? I hear you ask

Well, I figure the next Giovan move therefore has to be into something far more wholesome and satisfying.

I'm thinking: Fish, Basic Agriculture, Weaving, Tidal Power, that kind of thing...

Something good and base.

Something useful.

Something I can put my hands on and smell rather than ethereal notions of talent and musical pop prowess...


Which is fortunate timing, because when I was wandering about up north, I was introduced to the perfect location for a new Giovan-HQ which is exceptionally well placed for all such activities and extrememly badly placed for anything to do with the music business....

Yes boss, Fish Island is all very well and good, but with all this Olympic action going on, The Island is getting a touch noisey, and besides, I'm really fucking tired of the city...

So here we go with an overview of what and where I'm thinking of moving to next..

This is the location from the sky.

The plot is accessible only by foot or by boat. The nearest road is around 3 miles away. There's no mobile phone reception, let alone internet, I'll be sending messages in and out on birds legs at best..

B marks he location of the base as shown in the previous batch of holiday snaps

X marks the location of the proposed building plot
(The whole peninsular looks a lot like a dogs head - this can only be a good thing)

Here are a few shots from the ground

This is the main building plot, looking back inland and then forwards out to sea

The HQ will be on this here patch of grass, the staff cottages can just about be seen to the left and right....

Here they are as they now stand

These staff cottages need doing up a bit.

Obviously, I'm far too important to doing any of this building work myself. I will only be responsible for issuing finnerkety detail instructions and comment on the decoration as and when I take a break from mending my fishing nets etc

So, having scouted out the plot, the next step is to work out the basic design of the HQ

I've therefore just instructed my Official Artist to knock up an artists impression of how the PG£ building will itself look, and here is what she's come up with...

Whaddaya reckon???

CASA HASA GIOVANNA EPISODE 6 THE INTERVIEW

Current mood: MUCH MORE INFORMATION...
Category: MUCH MORE INFORMATION... Music

Well, whilst I was away sunning and slumming it in Scotland, My Official Short Clone has been very busy here on Fish Island.

Yes boss, the short bastard complained and whined like a fool when I left him behind with little food and absolutely no fucking booze..

'Please take me boss!!! I want to come and see the Scotland too!!!' He hollered 'You never let me off of Fish Island!! YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!!!! WHEN AM I GONNA JOIN THE BIG TIME LIKE YOU AND TRAVEL THE WORLD IN LUXURY LIKE YOU SAY YOU DO?!? I WANT A LIMO TOURBUS TOO!?'

'SHUT UP AND DO YOUR FUCKING INTERVIEWS!!!!' I YELLED BACK...

And so it transpired that I left the short one to continue do my dirty work, and dirty work he's done: including a whole batch of new interviews with The PGC staff...

I never ever shout at My Official Artist for the simple reason that she's the most efficient person in the entire PG£ organisation and I know how to manage staff!!!

HELL YES!!! BE NICE TO THOSE WHO DO YOU GOOD AND SHIT IN THE LETTERBOXES OF THOSE WHO CROSS YOU!!!! Is what my Grandma always used to say and I've always followed that advice to the letter...

So, whilst I've been pretending to be a manly explorer, The OA has done more sterling work and bits of it can be seen below and on the soon to be re-released staff page over on www.paulgiovanni.com...

So, the crux of what I'm saying here, is you can take the dickhead out of the PGC for a few days, but the wheels keep on turning and here we now go with a part of the result of last weeks work....

Official Short Clone Interviews No 2
The Official Clone Interviews The Official Tipster & Diary Planner

Firstly, please tell the readers a little about what your job as Official Tipster to Paul Giovanni £rd consists of??

My job consists of confronting, confounding, confessing and conning Paul Giovanni £rd.

Where does working for the PGC AKA The FMC rank in terms of your life achievements??

Annotated Rankings:

11) Seeing Vanilla Ice in my hometown

12) Working for the PGC

13) Ordering 'extra cheese' on the Domino's Pizza "Triple Cheese-Burst" pizza (Godfather with the meat toppings removed, thank you).

Is Paul Giovanni £rd a cunt??

Well, if I was feeling less generous I would offer the observation my father stunned me with at age 13: "He's a cunt. Actually, no he's not. A cunt's useful". I'm sure PG is useful, so perhaps.

What are your 5 best tips at this point in time??

1) Ladyhawke (www.myspace.com/ladyhawkerock)

2) Lee Scratch Perry's new album (produced by God himself, Andrew WK)

3) Midnight Juggernauts' constant march towards world domination.

4) The coalescning of the emo kids as a political force to be reckoned with, galvanized by NME's blatant attempt to bring My Chemical Romance 'down'.

5) Arm yourself to the teeth. Some crazy shit's coming.

Onto the podcast...

That's a rather furious start and quite a few other rampant tracks, I'm guessing your more angry than boring???

Oh, no, not really. I suppose I have a temper, but not really angry. I used to be. Now I veer towards apathy. Middle-age is looming ever closer, you know. The strident political aims of my youth have given way to a growing distrust of the young. That said, I do enjoy angry music.

What are you angry about???

I'm angry about the stupidity of those around me. That never fails to raise my ire.

What's with the Crystal Castles??? You talk about Portishead being unlikely to break through if thier current record was their first because of the image obsession of todays A&R men. CC's strikle me as being just the kind of marketed rebellion that marks the music biz out as being so fake nowadays..

Well, with Crystal Castles, I haven't really seen it. I discovered them on my own terms and have been oblivious to any hype. I suppose they're kind of a 'cool' band to be into if you're fashion conscious, but I don't really run in those scenes so it doesn't affect me such.

As for 'fake', i kinda don't mind that so much as I get older. I used to hold lofty ideals of authenticity in art, but I realise that that's probably rarely been the case. Plus, in my studies, the postmodernists have had a good effect on me in realising that spectacle and such are ok...

Why has Australia gone Electro???

Yeah, it's interesting that. I guess we've had a really strong rock scene for decades and some kids are defining their identity in opposition to that. Middle-class consumption and all... Genealogically, I could probably blame Madison Avenue's success abroad, and the influence a generation .. Daft Punk and the like started kicking goals over here. I mean, the Daft Punk concert last year was of similar size to the Big Day Out festivals we have; same arena (the showgrounds where we had the olympics in 2000) and an all day affair. It was just massive. And i guess, structurally speaking, technology's cheaper, kids have more money, it's more likely that someone's gonna bash out some tunes on some hacked software on the computer they already have, rather than go out and buy a guitar and amp.

Does The E.L.F work for Osama??

Osama does his promo.

So Sepultura's Cavalera brothers are back. They've gotta reform Sepultura at some point surely?? Do bands ever actually split up nowadays??

Well, I dunno about Sepultura... I think the drummer, Igor, had a falling out with the remaining members. But maybe, every other bloody band's reforming. And i note that there's a big nostalgia trip in bands playing an entire album from early in their career:

Sonic Youth just toured 'Daydream Nation', Helmet just played their 'Meantime' album, there's some others that I can't recall but saw advertised recently... Maybe they split up but their accountants advise them to give it another go.

Have you ever seen Iron Maiden play???

No, I never really got into Iron Maiden. I saw Metallica play during the Black Album tour. That was pretty 'rock'... Turned me off them, actually... hark's back to that authenticity thing, I thought they were amazing and then they were wankers. Vanilla Ice's show was pure Spinal Tap, blow up devil and all.

You've managed to get a few tracks on here by acts I don't like. CC being one and Portishead another.

I like them.

Shouldn't Portishead produce something a little more upbeat if only to prove that they don't wake up wanting to kill themselves every morning???

Well, I think it's the same misconception that follows Leonard Cohen. I mean, everyone laughs that a razor-blade should come with his albums, but I don't see it that way. I've never listened to Leonard, or Portishead and though it sounded miserable, or because I was miserable... I've found a dark upbeatedness there, like watching League of Gentlemen maybe...

I always figured Portishead as some kind of pastiche of old film-scores and such maybe, with some wicked hip-hop undertones. So, yeah, I just don't get that miserable thing... That said, I am decidedly not British, so I don't have the monopoly on things miserable.

CLICK THE ABOVE PICTURE TO STREAM AND/OR DOWNLOAD THE MIX!!

INDUSTRIAL ESTATE BY THE FALL (kinda says it all)

Current mood: BUILD THEM UP AND BREAK THEM DOWN...
Category: BUILD THEM UP AND BREAK THEM DOWN... Music

THOUGHTS ON THE BREAK....

Current mood: NOTHING A MACHINE GUN WOULDN’T SORT OUT...
Category: NOTHING A MACHINE GUN WOULDN’T SORT OUT... Life

Blimey....

It's difficult to raise yourself back to reality after a short holiday.

If you go away for a month or even 2 weeks, and you're returning to something you love doing, you have that energy and desire to get back on with things ASAP!!!

But when it's only been 5 days (and 1 of those has been on the bleeding buses) it's difficult to do much other than consider why you didn't take a longer break and to lust after the simplicity of what you've had and where you've been....

C'est la vie...


So, I haven't done that kind of a wilderness trip for sometime and I haven't walked in Scotland since I wandered around the country for 2 months aged 18.

Then, already burnt out from too much protesting and minor clashes with the law, I was searching for proper virgin wilderness - the kind of areas where you not only don't see anyone at all, but also no evidence of humans existing in the landscape at any point.

I learnt then, that it's very hard to get that in the UK.

Sure there are spots where humans and their influence is very hard to OBVIOUSLY notice, but even in places where you see as few as 4 people in 4 days, the human impact on the landscape is there.


As a part of this 2 month wilderness trip in 1993, I worked in Abernethy Forest doing environmental work.

Abernethy Forrest is a 31 square mile former shooting estate in The Cairngorms.

Bought by The RSPB in the early 90's and closed to the public ever since, the wardens there have been working on removing the regimented tree plantations, culling the deer, replanting the right kind of trees and returning the area to it's former wild state...

Cutting trees and killing deer??? Not very environmental you might think - but the opposite is the case.

Yes boss, I took pleasure in cutting down the Sitka Spruce and stalking deer (uncontrolled and encouraged (for rich people to shoot) deer are over grazing the natural forest of the Highlands out of existance).

It's dirty work, but someone has to do it - not all environmentalism is pretty..


The thing was, no-one much gave a shit about this kind of thing in 1993, but nowadays they claim to...

Yes boss, come 2008 and every man and their Thom Yorke claims to know what will save the planet and maybe that's a good thing

But the thing that always amuses me about todays environmentalists (celebrity ones in particular) is their ability to see one side of something and not the other.

Yes boss, if you take a 'celebrity green' to The Highlands they'll go on about natural and untouched beauty of the mountains

They don't have the feeling, historical context or intelligence to realise that what they're looking at is little more than a disaster recovery zone.

Yes boss, much of the Highlands is in exactly the same state as ex-rainforrests in Brazil about which we hear so much. ..

As in Brazil, the Scottich landscape has been completely ravaged by systematic deforrestation, undertaken by humans and their domestic animals over centuries. The bleak and barren hills used to be almost completely covered with wild forrests of Caledonian Pine, Hazel and Silver Birch and now they're barren and bleak - a disaster area and tourist attraction..

And this is the trouble with many amateur band wagon environmentalists. They believe in the idea of beginings and ends, biofuels and catalytic converters, marketing and hype, whereby THEY CAN MAKE THEIR POINT!!! and cleanse their conscience - but in nature there's no such thing as a beginning and an end, so much as one long old flow of various good and bad...


Well, these days, I might not be an environmentalist per se, but I still like to have my opinions, and I spent a lot of the discussion time in Scotland this last week trying to ascertain what in.the hell could and should be done about these police state like conditions under which we now live here in The UK.

Now, I know I'll sound like a nut or conspiracy person talking this way, but I'm afraid I can't see it any other way.

It's not just the police who now seem to be sticking their nose into every minor crime and failing with proper ones, but also the armies of High Vis Jacketeers have come to dominate day to day human affairs..

Yes boss, to go anywhere and do anything nowadays, you have to go through phalanxes of these folk who politely want to search your bag and your person, and then tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing in public, in the park, and on the bus....

Of course these people haven't come from nowhere, The High Vis Army is replacing the community spirit that naturally polices, but this softer way of controlling things was ripped out of British communities by careless harridans like Margaret Thatcher, and in 2008 we're all either policemen or criminals and EVERYTHING MUST BE CONTROLLED!!!!


And whilst errant kids and financially poorer people having a drink in the park, or on the tube or a fag in the pub have become THE ENEMY!!! of all civilization and good and reasonable behvaiour, the cretinous cunts, who with their unbriddled greed, money and power lust, have lead us to this position, quaff their charity champagne in the prescence of war criminal I Am Tory Plan B and Sir Bob G...

Credit crunch - what credit crunch?

Charity dinner raises £25m in just one night

An astonishing charity dinner last night, at which Tony Blair was the guest speaker and Stevie Wonder gave his first major performance in London for nearly a decade, raised more than £25 million for the world's poorest children.

With dinner costing between £1,000 and £10,000 a head and a charity auction which saw a Damien Hirst painting alone go for close to £1 million, Mr Blair was moved to declare: 'I thought I was the only person who got a lot richer this year.'

More than 1,100 guests attended the annual Ark charity dinner at the Royal Naval College in Greenwich, which ended early today.

Arpad Busson, the multi-millionaire hedge fund manager and philanthropist who is founder and chairman of the charity, had scaled down the target for this year's annual dinner to just £15 million and was delighted it far exceeded expectations.

In seven charity dinners since 2002, Ark has raised nearly £100 million.

Mr Busson, 45, who was accompanied last night by his partner the actress Uma Thurman, 38, said: 'I am thrilled by the overwhelming generosity of our guests, particularly given the more difficult financial and economic environment.

'These donations will transform the lives of tens of thousands of children in India, South Africa, eastern Europe and the UK.'

Mr Blair, who was there with his wife Cherie, said: 'This evening demonstrates both the power and the value of philanthropy.'

Mr Blair was flanked at his table by Jemima Khan, who wore a grey satin dress, and Trudie Styler, wife of rock star Sting.

The man behind the dinner, Mr Busson, is a French multimillionaire financier who has lived in the UK for the past 10 years and counts some of world's glitziest and richest people among his best friends.

"We are keepers of the world's wealth," he told guests before the dinner began. "It's our responsibility to come together and give to our common humanity.

FACTORY HABBITS...

Current mood: THE GOOD OLD DAYS..
Category: THE GOOD OLD DAYS.. Music

'The question with Factory is - where did all the money go?

It was a factory system. You had to do what you were told. It was based around the Situationists: cultural terrorism, subverting capitalism and public spaces. Good in theory, but it's a bit different when a south Mancunian like Wilson is at the helm. In my view it wasn't that far removed from the original factory days. Engels was a factory owner in Manchester, he had twelve year-old girls working for him, probably in the same buildings where the Hacienda was. A middle-class socialist; same as you've got now. He'd observe the kids and write about how depressed they were. Who does that remind you of? - Tony Wilson! He went on about how these working-class kids like The Happy Mondays were drug addicts; interesting degenerates.I think he knew what he was doing talking like that, because when it all went tits up they heaped the blame on The Happy Mondays.'

Taken from Renegade: The Lives & Tales Of Mark E Smith By Mark E Smith

ON EPIC....

Current mood: LEARNED HOW TO SPELL....
Category: LEARNED HOW TO SPELL.... Music

BURN BABY BURN....

Current mood: IN EXCUSE OF HIS DUTY....
Category: IN EXCUSE OF HIS DUTY.... Fashion, Style, Shopping

LATE SPRING TRAINING CAMP @ A SECRET LOCATION, WEST SCOTLAND JUNE 2008

Current mood: IT’S AS IF IT DIDN’T HAPPEN...
Category: IT’S AS IF IT DIDN’T HAPPEN... Life

PRESENT:

Paul Pious James Giovanni £rd

Official Pro Thinker/Prepatoré/Trainer

AIMS:

Late birthday celebration
Catchup
Physical training

Messing about

Mental development
Heavy drinking
Wisdom preparation
Relaxation
Locating PG£ unofficial commune site (more details to follow)


ACTIVITIES:

Cricket on the radio
Chess

Intesnse discussion
Wild cooking

Breathing
Fire (alot better than television)

Swimming
Nature


THE LOCATION

the base

out front

32 deer out front early doors (i looked at them, they looked at me)

from the sea looking towards the base...

the surroundings

inside

WEATHER:

Excellent!!!


PROBLEMS:

Tescos wouldn't deliver
Midges
Ticks
Insufficient time


TOTAL COST:
£82.53


OVERALL:

ANOTHER HARD WEEK IN THE OFFICE FOR GIOVANNI.....

Current mood: TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND HOLD IT....
Category: TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND HOLD IT.... Jobs, Work, Careers

THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME....

Current mood: THE WAY IT WORKS....
Category: THE WAY IT WORKS.... Music

'The ironic thing was that you had the accepted rebels like Bobby Gillespie and Shaun Ryder and Liam Gallagher - who were all fawned upon in one way or another; and then you had me!

I've never played the game like they have. The Happy Mondays and Oasis would do anything. The NME would say, 'We're having a party for the staff in London,' and there'd be about 150 people and their mates, public not allowed. The Happy Mondays would come down and play. I'd never do that. I'm talking about playing private parties for record executives at Creation Records, which Oasis did. What's more, Creation used to ring me up and say, 'We know you haven't got a label, and we really want to sign you if you do this: if you come down and play this informal party for the Creation staff and Alan McGee.'

And I'm like, 'If you're a Fall fan, as you say you are, why do I have to play a party?'

'Oh, it'd be in your interests, Mark.'

Taken from Renegade: The Lives & Tales Of Mark E Smith By Mark E Smith

THE PISS UP ON THE TUBE

Current mood: DRUGS ARE EASIER TO CONCEAL
Category: DRUGS ARE EASIER TO CONCEAL Music

RA RA POSH GIRLS RA RA!!!!!

"One of the main reasons people flock to London from all over the world is the flash-bang-wallop of its vibrant "yoof " culture. They do not come here to be dazzled by an all-pervading air of common sense."
Banksy

Well, quite by accident, I spent the last night us 'uncontrollable beer thugs' were 'allowed' to drink on public transport, NOT drinking on public transport...

This wasn't because of stuborness, or a desire to be different and/or apart from the facebook foo fighters of the deep, so much as because prior to going to Angel for Sparks, I had an urgent appointment with Mrs Giovanni in Canary Wharf.

I didn't see a corner shop betwixt - and besides Mrs Giovanni doesn't like to be seen out with me drinking on public transport...


But that party went off...

'I'm not going to fucking obey it'

'Yeah me neither'

And that people say these things out loud to strangers can definately increase the chances of them sticking to their word...

Sure, he might be an overpriviledged buffoon, but new London Mayor Boris Johnson is funnier than most comedians, and that I'm laughing at him rather than his jokes doesn't really matter in my own mind.

No boss, as far as I'm concerned toffs like Boris have been put on the earth for our entertainment, and I take no hesitation in laughing at such folk in much the same way that people used to laugh at freak shows...


Said Boris:

'A bloody well brainstorm to but a bally well stop to it all, and STOP CRIME!!! And BLIMEY look there's a horse!!! I wouldn't mind getting inside her paddock!!!!...RA RA...Bloody marvellous!!! Last one back in the treehouse's a Romanian!!!' etc


Funny that he is, Boris clearly isn't a serious politician who can deal with a multi-cultural city like London.

Boris is the kind of doss arse prefect who couldn't manage the school tuck shop without being hounded and harried into dropping sweets and small change..

Seriously!!

He might as well have been born on Mars for all he knows about the day to day life of ordinary people, and this kind of idiot politics of banning booze on buses solves crime bullshit, is only set to increase once he gets his knees firmly under the desk (if he ever manages to find his desk)....


Perhaps some of you who don't know or like London might be wondering what the big deal is??

Why did last night end up in even more punch ups with the police than normal???

Why did so many desperate and annoyed people drink their way into oblivion on the underground in the name one last hurrah?????

Why aren't we sending our booze money to Africa to save some children???


Well, you can tell Londoners not to do lots of things, but if there's one thing this city lives and thrives on, it's booze....

This was demonstarted by the fact that somewhere in the region of 1 in 3 people on the tube last night had a can or in many cases, a fucking great case of beer in their hands...


Why drink on the bus???

Well, you need between £50 and £100 to have a good and relaxed night out in London.

£5-£40 for entry into a club or gig
£20-£40 for drinks at £3-£4 a hit (presuming you pay bar prices all night as we'd all no doubt love to be able to)
£5-30 for transport there and back
£5-10 for a take away on the way home

So, unless you've inherited wealth, live at home with mummy, indulge in huge debt, or are on an income of over £25,000, every day in this city is a fucking struggle and going out on a budget is a stupid idea...

So people get by, by doing clever short cuts like drinking a few beers on the tube on the way to the pub...


What else do you do when you have £9 for a night out???

Soberly watch everyone else drink and look forward to the one evening every two weeks in which you can afford it??

Nurse 2 drinks all night???

Minesweep dregs???

Rob someone else for their wallet???

Become a music writer???

Or have a few quick beers to get you in the mood and fill up your stomach to allow yourself a slower pace once you get into the bar???


Problem is, no-one in power thinks of this shit, because they all get expenses paid cabs home at the end of their absolutely splendidly polite piss ups.

But booze on the bus, is the reality of many peoples London lives - squeezing out small and boyish economies to allow some kind of quality of life and a release from the fucking drudge and grey faced grind is often the best option if you wanna splat it all out...


And as stupid as it is, this is the beauty of London.

The reason Prince played for 21 nights was because London has the audience.

The reason Sparks are playing their 21 albums here is because they've got more fans here than anywhere else.

Sure, London might be a mean and nasty hard hellhole, but it knows how to party and that's exactly why people love to come here, why every band worth a shit (and many who are not) play here as standard...


The milky bars are on you Boris....

JESUS CHRIST AND MARY ON A BIKE!!!! IT’S A REAL LIFE STRAIGHT UP GIG REVIEW!!!!!

Current mood: REINFORCEMENTS!!!!
Category: REINFORCEMENTS!!!! Music

I've seen Eugene Machine play twice.

I first saw them supporting and organising the first gig I saw by They Came From the Stars I Saw Them

That gig (and the second) took place at a small private members club and former public lavatory under Shepherds Bush Green in West London..


The atmosphere in Gingliks is odd.

Quite apart from the fact it's an old public bog, I've found that because it's private members club, the feel is a little exclusive and cosey, and sometimes this seems to impact a little upon the bands that play there.

Regardless of this, I enjoyed Eugene Machine play there, but have since wanted to go see them in another venue, so as too compare and contrast...


Well, I finally got that done on Friday and I found the band to be in truly fine and fantastic form....

Playing at indie heaven The Fly on new Oxford Street, Eugene Machine treated the early evening, Friday night crowd, to some blisteringly lively and up front new music..


This feat was made all the more impressive by the part played by the patter of tiny feet..

Yes boss, Eugene Machines drummer is currently on paternity leave

Lesser bands fall apart when the drummer has to take such a break, but the Machine simply shifted Robyn from guitar to basic stripped down rhythm drums. They then imported a lovely bloke called Toby onto extra percussion and keyboards to cover the guitar, and the makeshift regig worked a complete and utter treat!!!


The difference was all in the feel of the sound..

Whereas the Eugene Machines previous LIVE sound was far stricter and pop-robotik, the extra percussion, together with the simple and enthusiastic drum beats added a whole new and looser element to their sound, and being a bit of a loose up daddy, I liked that turn of events a lot...

Add onto this the addition of some decent new songs, great clothes, bags of enthusiasm and the ever excellent buildups and breakdowns, and the whole performance struck me as being an absoute and complete success...!!

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE....

Current mood: HAPPY!!!
Category: HAPPY!!! Music

Well, i went along for my first dose of Spark's 21 albums in 21 nights last night and it was wonderful....

Yes boss, the LP in question was Sparks In Outer Space and even though it isn't one of their better LPs, the gig was a truly joyous occasion, that instantly made me regret not having bought or blagged a golden ticket to see all 21 shows..

I'm working on a full review now, meanwhile, here's a few clips of the band for those of you unfamiliar with the wonder that is Sparks.....

THE WEEK AHEAD....

Current mood: GO WEST.........I MEAN NORTH!!!!!
Category: GO WEST.........I MEAN NORTH!!!!! Music

Laxxiness'll get you nowhere

is an often said cliche in the real world of work, and whereas it might be true in terms of lining the nest with crispy notes, lounging can bring on a whole load of longer term insight, and provide the very best and clear view from which to work and achieve more valuable long terms...

I say laxxiness: what I mean is sitting around thinking and pondering from time to time and THEN doing, rather than just ploughing on regardless like a runaway train...

Yes boss, silly wordage aside, what I'm saying is that sitting on your ass isn't always the crime it's cracked up to be, and my Official Trainer, Prepatoré and Personal Conditioner, (not to mention very good friend) is so good at his job here at The PGC AKA The FMC, exactly because he does a hell of a lot of this...


In all but title and name, Mr B is a pro thinker. He spends nearly all of his time wandering the hills, inbetween times indulging in the odd necessity of low down work.

It's a hard life and some of the reasons why he wanders lapping up nature, aren't all joyous ones, but whatever you might think about the concept of reterat, it sure as shit gives high class perspective on the unreal world of media city life...


Yes boss, as with most of my long term friends, I think the best thing with Mr B is that he doesn't read much of what I write (in fact, I'm pretty sure he's not read any Giovanni) neither does he often engage with any of my various nefarious, mostly unsuccessful and ridiculous schemes to dominate the world of music media and words...

Now, this might sound strange, but it's my view that the best person to take advice from in matters of work, isn't the one who knows the specific job, but the one who's working off basic principles of success and failure that exist in all occupations and aims of life...

The problem with fellow pros is that whether they like to admit so or not, they're always gonna be in competition with you on both conscious and subconscious levels. Occasionally you'll get a person who's genuinely and completely happy with their own achievements and can offer completely impartial and honest advice, but these occasions are very, very rare indeed...


So, the long and the short of this piece, is to say I'm going up to the West Coast of Scotland with the tent to meet up with (and belatedly celebrate) Mr B's 40th brithday and acquire top level advice.

I'll be back fresh and breezy inside a week or so..

However, until I leave on tomorrows nightbus, I'm gonna be rattling out as much of the backlog of half done content as possible - so brace yourselves for A BIG OLD RUSH OF WORDS!!!!

MARK E SMITH ON LYRICS AND THE NATURE OF MODERN DEPRESSION...

Current mood: THERE’S A WILD WORLD OUT THERE....
Category: THERE’S A WILD WORLD OUT THERE.... Music

'I usually find the more you try, the less it works. It's best not to force it. When people do force it you can always hear it. It's just not how it should be. What gets me is the lack if lyrical effort shown by bands nowadays. I'm not saying that everything should be literary and Dylan-like: thirty verses of fifteen-syllable words that even the band get bored of playing. Me and Elena use that thing on the telly with the subtitles to read some of the lyrics. Jesus Christ! 'I'm going up the hill, you're going to leave me, I'm going to leave you, why did you leave me?' It's pathetic: all meek and self-absorbed. I'm just not interested in hearing about some lad's break up with some college girl he thought was the love of his life and now he's had a few too many and can't remember who the fuck he is.

Lads today are a bit too open like this anyway: going to the doctor's every five minutes telling them how depressed and distanced they feel. And they're not really depressed, not clinically - it's not even disillusionment. It's something else, something that they've conferred upon themselves. I think it's because they've got too much time and space to think about themselves. You don't get lads like that in Russia. It's not part of the culture there. It's a uniform, if you ask me: an identity. You can hear the whingeing in their music. It's stale. They should stop hiding away in their bedrooms with their computers and get out a bit. That'll sort out the lyrics.'


Taken from Renegade: The Lives & Tales Of Mark E Smith By Mark E Smith

THERE’S SOMETHING WHOLLY JOYFUL....(pt2)

Current mood: A WARM UP NOTE FROM FISH ISLAND....
Category: A WARM UP NOTE FROM FISH ISLAND.... Music

I say I hate artists, but I most certainly don't hate My Official Artist and I also like the idea of this new exhibition by The Chapman Brothers.

Yes boss, I've never much liked the Chapman Brothers work, but this time I really think they've nailed a couple of things that at the very least made me smile..


Firstly, they've gone and remade their piece 'Hell'

The original sculpture they entitled 'Hell' was destroyed by fire when the Momart Art Storage Facility in East London went up in smoke in 2004.

As if 'Hell' burning wasn't a good enough joke in itself, they've now rebuilt 'Hell' and named this new version 'Fucking Hell'

Secondly, they've spent £115,000 on buying a bunch of Hitlers watercolours (Hitler used to be an artist, he then moved into dictatorship - funny that)

They've then gone and painted Rainbows and the like, on top of these Hitler originals and called the collected works

'If Hitler Had Been a Hippy How Happy Would We Be'

They're on the market for about £680,000

HOW FUCKING BRILLIANTLY TRITE IS THAT???!!!

YOU KNOW DISSENT IS OVER WHEN....

Current mood: LAST ONE DOWN THE WINEBAR’S A HOMELESS!!!!
Category: LAST ONE DOWN THE WINEBAR’S A HOMELESS!!!! Parties and Nightlife

people start organising parties to celebrate stupid new laws rather than to oppose them....

Yes boss, the UK folk of today are so proud of this new booze ban on London public transport, they're making a party to celebrate?!?!

The Final Circle Line Party

On June the 1st 2008 - drinking on London public transport will be made illegal. We will be raising a glass to the end of this British tradition with a good old knees up. Hurrah.

Saturday May 31st

9pm

Liverpool Street Station

Circle Line Clockwise Platform

Rear of the train

Hell yes, lets have a jolly good knees up, make a Facebook group and get ourselves in The Guardian, openly expressing our love of obeying the law...

FUCKING STUPID SERVILE CUNTS!!!!

THERE’S SOMETHING WHOLLY JOYFUL....(pt1)

Current mood: ISN’T IT JUST...
Category: ISN’T IT JUST... Art and Photography

I had a big list and it's gone...


Well, I can start by saying I went to that alleged situationsist art music thing in Clapham yesterday night..


Before that, I met up with Madeleine from Australia, at a Private View at The Amuti Gallery.

Madeleine writes an excellent blog, and the art show was called Warhol is Over If You Want It.


I don't want Warhol to be Over - I like Warhol.

Warhol knew how to work, and his book The Philosophy of Andy Warhol From A to B and Back Again is a masterpiece (all the better because he got other people to write it for him....)


The anti-Warhol art show was made by a guy called Simon Thompson.

Thompson used to be a city banker, but then he quit and started making clever art...


I wish I'd have fucking well thought of that....

MAKE A FUCKING GREAT BIG STASH OF CASH BEING A PROFESSIONAL CUNT AND THEN START PRINTING CLEVER BOLLOCKS PICTURES AND CALL MYSELF AN ARTIST!!!!


FUCKING HELL, I HATE ARTISTS!!!

ARTISTS REALLY ARE CUNTS!!!!


So, I've decided that I'm an artist now...

I have 2 works in progress

23 REAL LPS

&

100 vacuos works

More details will follow..



Anyway, The Situationist thing was pure crap.

It was a winebar pub railway arch behind the tube stop.

Soon after settling there, Madeleine pointed out a sign that said

'Over 21s only (since when has Clapham been in The USA?!?) No Caps & No Tracksuits'

I'm wearing a cap and a tracksuit.


Well, they didn't enforce the bylaw, but the music was awful and distorted and the night struck me as being an allround Situationist disaster...


'REBELLIOUS YOUTH CULTURE REALLY IS OVER' I yelled at Madeleine above the din of a bad turn of the 90's grunge copy band

'YES IT IS, BUT WHAT'S GONNA REPLACE IT???' She yelled back

'I'VE NO IDEA!!!!'

NEIGHBOURHOOD SMITH....

Current mood: TV WEEVEE
Category: TV WEEVEE Music

'Things like Big Brother I find very strange. Why should anyone want to watch somebody asleep at night? Now that's wierd.

They asked me to replace Johnny Rotten on I'm a Celebrity get Me Out Of Here. I'd never dream of doing anything like that. He must have been seriously broke to have even considered it. But that's his business. Programmes like that remind me of wartime Russia when they'd make so-called subversive artists dig holes and plough fields. It's very sad: every year a certain time we get to have a laugh at celebrities who are skint or desperate or just simply mad. The worst part about it is that kids watch it; that's the last thing I'd be doing as a kid. I would never have dreamed of wasting my time like that. Though I must confess I sometimes do it now, spend days watching the TV knowing I should be getting on with something else - it gets like a drug. I remember one year when I watched nothing but Dallas - it was great. JR: fantastic. Didn't mind Dynasty either. Me and Elena like Neighbours as well; Doctor Carl, he's great. I particularly liked that band he had at one stage. Good band: good TV.'

Taken from Renegade: The Lives & Tales Of Mark E Smith By Mark E Smith

RAISING THE BAR.....

Current mood: KEEP IT TIGHT!!!
Category: KEEP IT TIGHT!!! Music

Anyone who chooses not to wear the rose tints, knows most professional sports are.so doped up, you could call them a heavily armed speedboat leaving Columbia QUICK SHARP!!! under the blanket of night.....

However, one sport that's been seen to make a big effort to admit to it's junky problems and come clean, is cycling...

Yes boss, after more or less every decent professional of the last 10 years has been found guilty (or at the very least, been heavily implicated in at least one drugs scandal) the sport has instigated rigorous year round testing procedures and is now believed by many, to be relatively clean

But I'm not so sure..

No boss, as the goalposts move, so does the pitch, therefore as old drugs are being tested out of feasability, new, unknown and untestable brews are now being utilised..

One such drug, that apparently has the potnential to raise more than just suspicions, is Viagra

Riders using Viagra for altitude?

By Laura Weislo

(Stolen from www.cyclingnews.com)

The story of Gerolsteiner rider Andrea Moletta's father being detained by the Italian anti-doping police in a car with a large amount of Viagra might have simply been the source of many dirty jokes had it not led to his son's withdrawal from the Giro d'Italia.

Natalino Moletta was stopped by the Italian Guardia Finanza as one of three passengers in a vehicle travelling from Padua to the Giro d'Italia which reportedly contained 82 packages of Viagra, along with a disposable syringe hidden in a tube of toothpaste and a refrigerator with other unidentified products. The search was reportedly part of a wider investigation into doping at gyms in Padua, but reports also indicated the car, and thus the products on board, were headed to the Giro d'Italia.

Viagra, or sildenafil, is normally used to treat erectile dysfunction, but a 2006 study published by the Journal of Applied Physiology (JoAP) and reported in Science Daily claimed that the drug can significantly enhance performance at altitude in some cyclists.

WADA's spokesman Frédéric Donzé confirmed that Viagra is not banned in competition, but said that the agency is looking into the matter. "WADA is aware of the high altitude study presented in Science Daily. WADA monitors this substance, as it does with many other substances, and is currently funding a research project on the performance-enhancing potential of Sildenafil at various altitudes."

But is Viagra a performance enhancing drug outside of the bedroom? The JoAP study tested ten trained cyclists at sea level and in an altitude chamber simulating 12,700 feet (3870 m) above sea level (or about 1,200 metres above the Giro d'Italia's Cima Coppi). The results were remarkable: while no benefit was gained at sea level, the Viagra group improved its performance over a six kilometre time trial at altitude by 15% over the group given a placebo.

However, the average numbers were deceiving, because the Viagra group was split into "responders" and "non-responders". Four of the subjects had shown a more marked decrease in performance at altitude than the others with placebo, and when they took Viagra, the difference went away.

Another study from a group in Belgium from 2007 tested the drug on "healthy subjects" before and after acclimatization to altitude (5,000m) and saw the performance benefit of Viagra vanish once the subjects were adapted to the low oxygen environment.

The impact of altitude on exercise capacity varies widely from person to person, depending on physiology and acclimatization. Some adapt quickly at high altitude, while others can have severe reactions such as mountain sickness or pulmonary edema - which typically show up above 2,400m.

Whether or not the drug can give a benefit to riders at altitudes below this level remains to be seen. With Monday's mountain time trial from San Vigilio di Marebbe to Plan de Corones heading from 1,200 up to 2,273 metres above sea level, will we see riders popping Viagra to get up for the race? If they do - and if the drug is not banned by WADA, and only the riders who have the unfortunate physiology to have their blood vessels seize up in hypoxic conditions can get a benefit - is it doping?

Well, I'm a fan of doping in sport and am happy to see riders using Viagra or whatever helps them reach new and previously unattainable sporting feats.

But the thing that troubles me here is that cyclists only wear thin lycra shorts?!?

Yes boss, there's no padding in a cycling outfit and little enough (in terms of state of arousal) is left to the imagination as it is, let alone when Viagra is added into the equation....?!?

So, does this mean the riders are going to be riding up the mountains carrying large (or small) bulges in their pants as standard??

Will the racing still be suitable for the viewing public, children in particular???

And if Viagra is banned, will anyone with a visible hardon, risk a lengthy suspension???

TODAYS READING FROM THE BOOK OF MARK...

Current mood: CROWD CONTROL
Category: CROWD CONTROL Music

"I wasn't really into girls either. I couldn't even stand my sisters. Sometimes in the school holidays when I was about twelve, and my mam and dad were at work, I'd be looking after five fucking girls: my three sisters, this adopted kid, and another whose parents were abusive towards her. They were about four or five at the time.

I devised this thing called 'Japanese prison camp', I'd make them sit in this room under a table with a big cloth over them because the air force might be coming. I'd be the Japanese guard. 'You can't go out. You must stay under there,' I'd tell them. then I'd shut the door, say I was going to the Bridge on the River Kwai, have some pop, go out with my mates and half an hour before my mam and dad came home, I'd return, saying, 'Japanese prison camp is now over,'

If they escaped, the punishment would be 'No lemonade'. They used to love it. Throw sweets under the cloth. Good laugh.

Occasionally I'd let a couple escape. I'd leave the back door open. They liked that: running around the back garden. Then I'd lock the doors and they'd be pleading to get back to the prison camp. 'You'll have to wait for your mam to come home,' I'd say.

They always remember it, my sisters, when they get a bit pissed; 'We remember Japanese prison camp, you don;t fool us, you pop star.' And my mam's going, 'What's Japanese prison camp?' Today we'd probably get investigated by the social services. What can you do? It's hard work bringing up kids. Japanese prison camp was the perfect solution."

Taken from Renegade: The Lives & Tales Of Mark E Smith By Mark E Smith

HOW ABOUT THIS FOR TONIGHT????

Current mood: CLEVERLY WE MADE IT....
Category: CLEVERLY WE MADE IT.... Music

the-situation modern 1

the dialectical unification of art and life

duck-art : the-situation : arch635 SW4

1 29th May 2008
art/music/performance/social/life
8pm until 1am
a regular occurrence
info@the-situation.co.uk

attendees (alphabetical):

audio/performance-
Betty Steeles
Danny Farrant (Buzzcocks)
My Echo
TonyThorpe
Whrs Nick /.. New Jack City

text-
Adam Green
Ellie Claire Wood

visual-
BASS BIN KID*
C6 - Dotmasters
gEoRGE
Henry Gomez
HORN-HEAD
Mark Baker
MODAL
Rusty

video-
Kuba Nowak
MODAL


Entrance £1.99 , Free limited drinks


JAMES CAUTY, PURE EVIL, C6-DOTMASTERS, NEVERWORK, MODEL and maybe others will be designing unique Cigarette Packets which will only be available for sale in limited quantities on the night at the-situation...each an edition of 20 or 30.

Whrs Nick /.. New Jack City will be perfroming in the toilet using the signal generator from the Advanced Acoustic Armaments project, brought to you by the K Foundation...

KARBORN will additionally be showing some of his video work, his artwork/music/film work will be more fully expllored at a future event...

WELL THAT WAS ALL RATHER FURIOUS....

Current mood: DELETION IS SALVATION....
Category: DELETION IS SALVATION.... MySpace

Not to mention curious...


Late last night, I start to get all these messages and comments from both friends and strangers suggesting my account is showing up as deleted?!?!

I took a good look at the situation, and sure enough, there I was as a little red X and no functionally....


This wouldn't be the first time I've suffered this kind of nonsense here on the spazzer...

Other than the day to day inefficiences of this site (about which I could write a very boring book) I find that everytime I put up a 69:23 minute episode of Casa Hasa Giovanna I tend to have a whole bevy of irregular problems.

Yes boss, I find there's consistently a problem on the 23rd at 23:23pm. Either the nerves, booze and excitement of the release gets to me, or Tom has a spazz out of some kind...


Which made last nights 'deletion' all the more curious....

I had 69 pages of comments & 232 pages of friends

Was that slimey little shyster Tom, reading my magical 23 mind and playing filthy tricks?!?

Or was it simple magic playing games, whilst Tom sunbathed poolside???

Or just bullshit????


What was all the more odd about the situation, was that I'd written that blog yesterday about my disilusionment with music writing. Originally, there was a paragraph in it, where I noticed the posting had turned from a simple critique of music journalism into what read like a resignation letter...

This is beginning to sound like my swansong....

It started, but because it wasn't, so I deleted the paragraph...


I guess the fundamental difference with last nights monkey business, was that the word 'deletion' was used, but it felt alright to be under such a threat.

In fact I quite enjoyed the whole affair..

Truth is, I currently spend far too much time networking, writing and researching my writing, using wanky Toms website, rather than maximising the use of the other location of the blog and paulgiovanni.com

This is bad long term strategy and the thought of being forced away from here and suddenly having more time in which to do things more independently was really quite appealing, not to mention challenging...

Furthermore, I know I'll get booted off from here one day. I have this habbit of pushing things too far. I've been suspended and then terminated at ebay & yahoo many times for rule bending. I can't help but always be probing at what can be got away with. I really do love to commit minor virtual and real crimes on a daily basis, just to see what's possible and because I think minor crime is necesary and very healthy...


Well, I eventually found the solution to my apparent deletion.

There was a bit of text above my inbox that suggested I'd been using 'bots' to automate some aspects of my myspazzs daily operations?!?!? And that this was against the rules!!!!

Well, the very suggestion was completely crazy?!?.

I WAS SHOCKED AND APPALLED!!!!

ME, A LAW ABIDING PILLAR OF THE MYSPAZZ COMMUNITY USING THE MYSPAZZ EQUIVALENT OF PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS?!?!?

YOU KNOW HOW I HATE THE WHOLE IDEA OF TAKING PERFORMANCE ENHACING DRUGS!!! THAT DURGS AND CHEATING DISGUSTS ME!!! THAT I HAVE NEVER EVER CHEATED!!!! THAT I AM THE PURITY OF CARL FUCKING LEWIS AND LANCE ARMSTRONG ROLLED INTO ONE!!!!!

YES BOSS, ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME, KNOWS I ASPIRE TO BE A GOOD AMERICAN SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE WITH CLEAN CROCKERY AND A MONTHLY DINNER PARTY JUST LIKE THIS VICIOUS LITTLE BITCH....

Anyway, when deletion day comes (as it one day must), be sure that I have everything backed up: a full friends list, subscriber list, the html for the profile, the lot - so I'll soon be back in touch via some kind of a phantom profile to let you know what's what and where it's all at....

In the meantime, all the blogs are always gonna be here at Blogspot

I'm always gonna be answerable at paulgiovanni@paulgiovanni.com

And a load of other flim flam is always gonna be @

ON MUSIC WRITERS AND WRITING

Current mood: I WANT 200 WORDS ON MY DESK BY 9AM!!!!
Category: I WANT 200 WORDS ON MY DESK BY 9AM!!!! Music

One of the most interesting aspects to this Mark E Smith book Renegade is his continual discussion of writing, music writing, writers, lyric writing, the classic writers, the lack of reading in todays lazy world and so on...

Yes boss, it soon becomes clear that Mr Smith see's little distinction in the classification between any kind of writing other than it being either good or bad.

A writer is a writer is a writer - whether they be doing poetry or pay the rent journalism.

This is the kind of classification I like to see, however, given my current preoccupation, I was particularly interested to find the Smith opinion on music writers and music writing in general.

I was far from disappointed.


'They don't read enough if you ask me. Writers should read, and I know for a fact that all too many of them don't - they get their qualifications, fuck off travelling for a bit, return to London, get a job in the media and don't bother to put any more ideas inside their heads other than the two or three they picked up at university. I'm not talking about striving to be an intellectual - they don't even have any historical perspective on anything. It's one long Friday night to them. Or if not that, then you sit down with journalists or so-called far out types in London and they'll be saying, 'Oh yes, you won't believe the way the wife breasfeeds!' and I'm thinking, 'Alright - good for you!' They have fuck-all interesting to say for themselves.'


Smith is bang on.

The problem with most music writing is it's COMPLETELY FUCKING DULL AND COMPLETELY FUCKING FORMULAIC!!!

Yes boss, it's mostly written by folk who go through this classic and apparently quintessential progression.

STEP 1: Write for fanzines and student papers as a teenager (and now blogs and websites)

STEP 2: Go to university (continue step 1)

STEP 3: Get your journalism degree and get a staff writers job at one of the big music mags

STEP 4: When you can afford to - move into freelancing

STEP 5: Start writing books whilst still freelancing

STEP 6: If you're still the right side of rehab, start doing these 100 Best Manchester Bands Ever programs where you drone on about what you like and dislike...


Of course that all sounds peachy, but this regularity of life means most music writers simply don't have any serious stories or experience in which to place either individual bands or the importance and place of art and music within life.

No boss, they haven't lived in the real world in any meaningful sense, they've not worked endless shitty jobs. They only socialise with media types, musicians and other writers.

They have nothing important to say and very little experience of the world outside their own narrow and rather surreal bubble of endless free whoopsies (SPONSORED BY VODAFONE) and LOUD SOUND!!!!!

It's a diet of 12 gigs a week - not because that's important, or helps in understanding music, art, life or culture, but because it keeps them IN and on the scene and well loaded up on whatever drugs and or drinks they like....

It's a schedule I can't keep...

No boss, I struggle to go to more than 2 gigs in a week at the best of times - as important and good as it is, there's other things to do and take care of in life than LIVE fucking music (unless of course you're a musician).


So, I guess what I'm driving at here is that since starting as The Official Paul Giovanni £rd to Paul Giovanni £rd, I've mostly found the whole process of music journalism to be completely flawed and I loose more interest in the whole discipline by the day...

I find there are several basic problems.

The first is that music writing shouldn't be necessary and more often than not becomes empty fart gas to plug ropey acts and sell bad records.

Yes boss, if a band or acts ethos, influence and ideology isn't clear in the music then the band is generally shit!!

There is of course a desire on all our parts, to know more of the people behind the music - I'm a sucker for it. But I find the best interviews come from those who spend the whole thing avoiding and dodging the questions about their real and personal lives, rather than those who do the Dave Gahan therapy via the music press thing.

Sometimes I think about interviewing a legend like Mr Smith or Billy Childish or Bill Drummond, but I soon realise I have nothing much to ask them - I'd sit there and look at them and they'd sit there and look at me.

Deep down, I know I'd be doing it to try and get close to them, and get some tips on the way to go with my own creativity - not because I want to ask them questions or flatter their egos.


Another key problem with music writing and/or any kind of journalism is that it leaves no room for artistic development - in fact it stunts it.

Yes boss, regular music writing is a 9-5 job, the same as being a Sales Manager for British Telecom is.

It's not a creative pursuit - it's an office job.

Since I've been music writing, I've found I read less and less, and am aware that if I keep it going, I'll create a big wall between myself and my own creativity.

Thus far, because I've done a blog and not been externally edited, I've been able to write with freedom which has allowed some creativity - but over time I figure even that will become distant.


Another big issue with music writing is it takes no account of time - it's run by record scheduling and deadlines that have no relevance to the quality of a sound or a lyrical sentiment...

Yes boss, time is the test of real good music, so how can good and well worked reviews, bungled together in between hangovers on 'one long Friday night' be of any real worth?!?

In all honesty, I can't remember one album review that stands up as a piece of writing apart from maybe 2 or 3 of my own.


As a result of this, I find I like very few music writers as writers.

People keep telling me I have to read Lester Bangs, but so far I haven't read him at all.

Paul Morley is often interesting, but I don't own any of his work or read it like the bible.

With Paul, I can't help but think he'd have been better off pursuing music or a proper writing career, rather than bogging himself down in this endless revisionism of past glories. These documentaries and books about Joy Division are doing my head in. I preferred it when he was allegedly writing slogans for Frankie Goes To Hollywood or making sounds with The Art Of Noise.


So, a year and a half in, my basic conclusion with music writing is that it's a PR add-on and that's therefore how I now ply it.

I write to either hype or inform about the bands I like in order to try and help them raise their profile or write badly of (or not at all) about those I don't in order to denigrate and stunt theirs.


For me, music writing has been a stepping stone - a casual fling to use and abuse in order to regain control and confidence of my writing, a way to evaluate just how far I am down the written road and to unearth areas in which I need to improve upon, before undertaking another more serious project.

It's been very good for me. It's sped up my game, put me in touch with readers and taught me some more of the basics, but I shouldn't have thought I'll be doing it for too very much longer

In fact I think I've already stopped...

MARK E SMITH ON THE JOB

Current mood: KILLING TIME
Category: KILLING TIME Music

'You shouldn't be in a position where you start hating what you do. You can see that this is the case with a lot of people, but they stick at it. The worse thing about that is you hear the the zips gone from their game. It's the Beckham syndrome again. People always let you down. It's a truism. Not only that but they let themselves down as well. The only thing you can do about it is write about it.'

Taken from

Renegade: The Lives And tales Of Mark E Smith

THANKS IGGY FOR SAVING ME FROM MARTINES

Current mood: YEAH....
Category: YEAH.... Music

In the summer of 1998, I found myself working in a rather shoddy nightclub called Martines.

Martines had been the only nightclub in my hometown of Eastleigh, until a new place called Charlie Parkers had opened in 1997.

It was the kind of smalltown dive most people would be troubled to work in, but I was extra annoyed to be there, because I should have been in France watching Marco Pantani win his one and only Tour De France.


My good friend Mike and I had been talking about making the trip to france throughout the year. We were going to cycle down to The Alps and watch the race, but we didn't make it because I'd spent all monies and was in no fit physical state to do a round trip of 1000 miles on a pushbike...


I was in bad physical and financial condition because I'd spent the year, until starting at Martines, at Ruskin College in Oxford doing an HnD in Economics.

Ruskin College is a 'second chance' college that was largely funded by trade unions in order to give those who had insufficient opporunity to educate to do so later in life...

It's method was a misnomer for me, because I'd had ample chances to get academic, but hadn't taken them because I didn't much fancy the idea of being taught anything and considered university to be a complete and absolute waste of time.

However in the late nineties, Ruskin was having problems filling their quota of students, and because I had a good background of protest and social conscience activity, and nothing much else to do, I got the gig...


Overall, despite it ruling out the Tour, my year at Ruskin had been a very good one.

I'd spent the vast majority of it smoking pot, drinking and then playing around with acid, inbetween which time, I'd relearnt the economic basics, seen loads of gigs and met a good few very interesting people.

In spite of this social life, or perhaps because of it, I managed to graduate with 72% and a commendation, which, due to Ruskins links, was enough to get me into Manchester College, Oxford for a full degree. But having seen plenty of how Oxford University worked, I knew it weren't the place for me, so I didn't apply and instead returned home to live for the final time to sort some money out and work out what to do next.


Working at Martines was OK, even though it clearly wasn't going to last for long.

In the mornings, I started at whatever time I liked and I worked through until the job was done.

The first task was to clear away all the glasses and bottles from the night before. I wheeled the bins to the lift, lowered it and then deposited them in the correct bottle banks.

Next it was restocking the bars.

I was basically left alone to work all day, surrounded by booze and smelly carpets.

I've had many jobs that have been far worse than that - clean jobs, with vicious and idiotic supervisors who love power more than Hitler ever did.


Anyway, the crux of this was that there was a girl working at Martines, who's name escapes me - we'll call her Clare.

I quite fancied Clare, mostly on account of her having red hair and being the best looking girl on the staff.

Clare was however clearly completely inappropriate for me in every way, if only because she had a queue of men and no obvious regard for me. But even when you know this from day 1, you often find it takes 1 demonstration and sometimes 20 to put you right off the scent of such a pointless and potentially damaging crusade.


In this case it was just the 1...


It happenned one night after we'd booted the last punters out into the night.

The TV's were on and they were showing either the Reading or Leeds festival highights on MTV, whilst we all had a wind down drink..

As usual, I was sitting in the corner, talking to no-one and occasionally looking over at Clare to try and lure her over with my eyes in a facile and fantastically ineffective way.

That was until Iggy came on, wriggling and writhing about the stage, thin muscley and sinuos and bursting with energy..

It was about the time of Iggy's Trainspotting inspired comeback - when he went from being a relative nobody, to being loved by every student in the country.

For me, it was one of the very first times, if not the first time, I ever saw Iggy perform and I was immediately enraptured

"FUCKING HELL!!! he looks in great shape for a man of his age!!!" I thought, marvelling at how a 50 year old could look so unlike a 50 year old.

It was a truly incredible sight!!


At more or less the very same moment, Clare looked at the screens and said:

"God that man looks awful!! Can you imagine looking as bad as that, at that age???"

Her retinue of sycophantic boys and girls agreed - like they knew what the fuck looked good and what didn't..


Well, what in the hell she and they were looking at I will never know??? I mean most 50 year old men are carrying more pies about thier waist than a bakers shop - their faces ruined and their eyes fading to nothing with stress and years of idiot jobs like working in Martines.

And there was Iggy gyrating and squirming his way around the stage like a ball of dangerous litten crack.


As Iggy swished and burned, I immediately and cleanly realised Clare was absolutely and completely thick, and was therefore utterly undeserving of my or anyone elses attentions...

And therein (like a flash) ended my interest....

I’M BORED, BUT NOT BY IGGY POP OR MARK E SMITH...

Current mood: ENTERTAINED!!!!
Category: ENTERTAINED!!!! Music

I'm reading this Mark E Smith autobiography called Renegade: The Lives And tales of Mark E Smith and it's a beaut of a book..

It's so good, it'll be finished by tonight (having arrived in the post this morning)

Then, once done, I plan on quoting my favourite bits amidst my own elaborate jabber jabber, until I go to Scotland for some heavy physical training in the mountains next Monday night...

So...

Let's start with this Smith recomended Iggy Pop interview and LIVE clip form Australias version of Top Of the Pops....

MY TALENTS....

Current mood: RETROSPECTIVE....
Category: RETROSPECTIVE.... Music

I'm only 33 years old, but I feel I'm begining to nail just exactly what my talents are in this world...

Here are a few of them:


Writing

I say talent, but I don't have any willing choice or particular desire to do it.

I rarely do more than an hour or two a day, and I detest sitting down and really working a piece into the ground - in fact, I'll put such an idea off for months and months and months if at all possible.. .

What I'm saying, is that I have no specific love of writing as a hobby or job.

Basically, if I could talk properly and think quickly, I wouldn't bother with writing at all, but I can't, so I do - and because I've written 4.3 billion words in order to cover up this character flaw, I'm beginning to make cogent and accurate sense on the virtual page in particular...


Listening

I can't but help myself

AKA

Listening prevents me from having to talk, and provides much content for the above writing...


Attracting Mad People

More often than not, they're the only ones worth attracting..


Not Making BIG Money

When listening to the soundtrack to the Sound Of Music today, I was reminded of that bit in the film where Julie Andrews says something to the effect of

'If God closes a door, look for the open window!!'

Well, I find that if I walk into a room, the BIG money nearly always walks right out of the window?!?

Yes boss, despite being involved in any number of lucrative businesses and financial arenas, the bottom line is that I have an incredible ability to NOT make BIG money...

I think the key problem, is that despite my best interests to do so (mostly for other peoples sakes), I remain completely uninterested in it...


Survival

I might be short of the BIG $$$$$$$$, but I'm a zen master of high-res survival.

Put me in a desert with an old 50p piece, a ball of string and a packet of fags and I'll have a temple, and stream of running water up and running by the weekend...

AKA

I survive in style


Alienating myself from my fellow creative professionals, magazines and publishers etc...

I don't know any other full time and/or paid writers in real life neither do I know I ever want to...

Some musicians, I can handle, but music writers CAN (in the main) FUCK OFF!!!

Oh, and new and old media professionals who LOVE!!!! their jobs and think they're 'the bollox' for doing them, bore me to tears 'n all....

All these points, directly relate to my talent for NOT making BIG money...


Not Answering The Phone

I'm more capable of ignoring a ringing telephone than are 97% of the UK population...

This talent has a great bearing on 'Talents' 4 and 6


Avoiding Romantic Encounters

Colder than a glacier, and better at building big blank walls than The Israeli Government, I can avoid romantic encounters both deliberately and not, with relative ease...

Why bother???

I couldn't possible say...


Talent Spotting & Predicting The Future

I often see talent, trrends and events coming.

I watch them rise, make no money out of them, boast that I've seen them coming and then run away from the screaming boot of Mrs Giovanni....


Poker

I very rarely play and I very rarely loose...


And that's about it....

WE’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE AND NOW IT’S TIME TO RETURN!!!!

Current mood: RADIOHEAD WATCH AND LEARN....
Category: RADIOHEAD WATCH AND LEARN.... Music

CASA HASA GIOVANNA EPISODE 6 ::: FURTHER AND BETTER PARTICULARS

Current mood: MORE INFORMATION
Category: MORE INFORMATION Music

CLICK THE ABOVE PICTURE TO STREAM AND/OR DOWNLOAD THE MIX!!

What is good about music this year by Stephen (age 30).


1. Meshuggah - Bleed

I am always impressed with the sheer brutality of these guys. They've been around for ages and always delivered the goods. This new album is all-aggro with surgical production. This is the sort of thing i have to put on when doing housework.


2. The Breeders - Istanbul

I'm a sucker for The Breeders. Love 'em to pieces. 'Last Splash' was extraordinarily successful for them, but my least favourite. That's not my being difficult, i just like the sparse elements on the other albums. I love that they've avoided the temptation to repeat their successes and done everything on their own terms. Kim Deal's voice is amazing and she's such an unusual songwriter.


3. Ghostface - 9 Milli Niggaz

Ghostface has the most fun sounding flow. Great rhythmic quality, great tone, lots of fun and just cheeky use of samples.


4. Cut Copy - Out There On The Ice

The first in the 'Aussie' block of tunes. Australia's having massive successes with the electro thing. It used to be all pub rock. Now it's all synth rock. Either way i'm happy. Cut Copy are great, though admittedly this new album doesn't measure up to their first. There's still some crackers on the album tho. Produced by DFA's Tim Goldsworthy.


5. Midnight Juggernauts - Tombstone

The Juggers are my pick of the Aussie electro gang. Just superb, light years ahead of the others and, in most respects, the new kids on the block. Apparently Daft Punk are big fans as well. 'Nuff said.


6. The Presets- Kicking And Screaming

The Presets are the favs with the kidz. Again, a slightly disappointing second album, again some great tracks on it. I've a love/hate relationship with them. Their first album was mindblowingly great and i was extremely disappointed when i got to see them live. So it was a little heart-breaking and has sullied my view ever since. I think the hype may have gotten to them and the new album was a little hurried. All the same, they're amazingly popular with the kidz.


7. Pnau - No More Violence

Pnau are the establishment of the electro guys in Australia. They were the first big dance act and kicked some big goals overseas. Elton John's had them over for high tea, apparently. They seem a little bitter that the new kids have somewhat overshadowed them, but they're doing pretty good all the same. And they have a massive dancing strawberry on stage with them. They're bloody odd live, like the Butthole Surfers meets Utah Saints.


8. The E.L.F. - Cockroaches

The E.L.F. is a bloke from Gerling, who are one of my favourite bands ever. They were about to break in the USA back in 2001, with the unfortunate dilemma of having their release scheduled for Sept 12 of that year... the album "When Young Terrorists Chase The Sun", featuring classics such as "High-Jackers Manual". Cue said album being shelved for a while... The E.L.F. is his one-man-band and offer up some tasty tunes and some mash-up DJ sets live. This track is the last in the Aussie electro bracket.


9. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Sick On Sundays

I like these guys. A lot. They did a wicked cover of Aphex Twin's 'Come To Daddy', all with live instruments and Mike Patton singing... And they knocked out a great EP of covers, 'The Plagiarism EP', with Justin Timberlake and Massive Attack covers. Oh yeah, and their originals. All fantastic. This side of mental. And they have one of the best song titles of all time: 'Panasonic Youth'.


10. Cavalera Conspiracy - Inflikted

I am so happy to see the Cavalera brothers back together. Sepultura were great back in the day and it was sad to see the brothers falling out. And their respective bands sucking bad. This track is rad. That's the long and short of it.


11. Ministry - Black Betty

Ministry are one of my favourite bands ever. Now they're old and the quality control has slipped, but they're just having fun these days. Still vitriolic. And silly. This is a blistering version of 'Black Betty'.


12. Camille - Music

Camille is very interesting, don't know much about her. I really like the last album, 'Le Fil', the new one's not grabbed me quite so much and it's all in english, as opposed to the sexy french of the first. But she's got a rad voice.


13. Portishead - Hunter

Portishead are back and they're sounding great. I recently watched an old performance of theirs and was astounded by just how ugly and weird they are. Completely unmarketable. Yet they were omnipresent ten years ago. It just shows how much has changed in the music industry. No one would touch them if they were a new band. It's a shame, it used to be all ugly freaks. Music was the only way any of these people were gonna get laid. And they wrote great music about not being able to get laid. It's a shame it's all changed so badly.


14. Matthew Dear - Deserter

I don't know much about Matthew Dear. His newest album, 'Asa Dear', was recommended by a great local DJ (Kato) and i gave it a spin. Loved it. On the same page as LCD Soundsystem's last album i guess. Just great stuff.


15. MGMT - Electric Feel

I saw these guys on Letterman and though they were fairly interesting. So i got the album and was really impressed. Same guy that produces the Flaming Lips. And it shows. And it's good. This is the sexiest track on the album, a bit of a prince swagger about it.


16. Crystal Castles - Love And Caring

PG hates these guys. I love 'em. I got into them after hearing The Presets toured with them overseas. Love their stuff, tho it's attractive to the attractive types that make me coo and wanna puke and the same time. So that's a minus (and the reason I didn't go see 'em when they toured last year). On the plus side, they're great and the new album is just excellent. And don't believe the PG-hype... it's not at all shouty all the time. Tho a lot of it is. They remind me a bit of Atari Teenage Riot (who i love), but fashionable.


17. Estelle feat Kanye West - American Boy

Will. I. Am produced this apparently, and i normally hate his stuff. This is way slick and just excellent tho. Haven't heard the album, but this track is just pop perfection. And it's got Kanye on it. I wanna be the white Kanye. We're the same age. He's got about 40 million more record sales than me tho. I think i've sold about 90 records in my life. 399,999,910 more to go.


18. Kenna - Say Goodbye To Love

Again, a hot tip from the Letterman show. Kenna's stuff is all produced by Chad Hugo from the Neptunes. I've yet to see him put a foot wrong. This track is superb, so goddamn catchy. Both albums are really interesting... Not entirely sure how to describe it. So i won't try except to say, um, good.


19. Turbonegro - We're Gonna Drop The Atom Bomb

I love Turbo. Just love 'em. They are one of the most fun bands i've ever seen. Smart guys playing dumb. Pseudo-homo-punk-rock by men in sailor hats. Just excellent.

CLICK THE ABOVE PICTURE TO STREAM AND/OR DOWNLOAD THE MIX!!