THE PISS UP ON THE TUBE

Current mood: DRUGS ARE EASIER TO CONCEAL
Category: DRUGS ARE EASIER TO CONCEAL Music

RA RA POSH GIRLS RA RA!!!!!

"One of the main reasons people flock to London from all over the world is the flash-bang-wallop of its vibrant "yoof " culture. They do not come here to be dazzled by an all-pervading air of common sense."
Banksy

Well, quite by accident, I spent the last night us 'uncontrollable beer thugs' were 'allowed' to drink on public transport, NOT drinking on public transport...

This wasn't because of stuborness, or a desire to be different and/or apart from the facebook foo fighters of the deep, so much as because prior to going to Angel for Sparks, I had an urgent appointment with Mrs Giovanni in Canary Wharf.

I didn't see a corner shop betwixt - and besides Mrs Giovanni doesn't like to be seen out with me drinking on public transport...


But that party went off...

'I'm not going to fucking obey it'

'Yeah me neither'

And that people say these things out loud to strangers can definately increase the chances of them sticking to their word...

Sure, he might be an overpriviledged buffoon, but new London Mayor Boris Johnson is funnier than most comedians, and that I'm laughing at him rather than his jokes doesn't really matter in my own mind.

No boss, as far as I'm concerned toffs like Boris have been put on the earth for our entertainment, and I take no hesitation in laughing at such folk in much the same way that people used to laugh at freak shows...


Said Boris:

'A bloody well brainstorm to but a bally well stop to it all, and STOP CRIME!!! And BLIMEY look there's a horse!!! I wouldn't mind getting inside her paddock!!!!...RA RA...Bloody marvellous!!! Last one back in the treehouse's a Romanian!!!' etc


Funny that he is, Boris clearly isn't a serious politician who can deal with a multi-cultural city like London.

Boris is the kind of doss arse prefect who couldn't manage the school tuck shop without being hounded and harried into dropping sweets and small change..

Seriously!!

He might as well have been born on Mars for all he knows about the day to day life of ordinary people, and this kind of idiot politics of banning booze on buses solves crime bullshit, is only set to increase once he gets his knees firmly under the desk (if he ever manages to find his desk)....


Perhaps some of you who don't know or like London might be wondering what the big deal is??

Why did last night end up in even more punch ups with the police than normal???

Why did so many desperate and annoyed people drink their way into oblivion on the underground in the name one last hurrah?????

Why aren't we sending our booze money to Africa to save some children???


Well, you can tell Londoners not to do lots of things, but if there's one thing this city lives and thrives on, it's booze....

This was demonstarted by the fact that somewhere in the region of 1 in 3 people on the tube last night had a can or in many cases, a fucking great case of beer in their hands...


Why drink on the bus???

Well, you need between £50 and £100 to have a good and relaxed night out in London.

£5-£40 for entry into a club or gig
£20-£40 for drinks at £3-£4 a hit (presuming you pay bar prices all night as we'd all no doubt love to be able to)
£5-30 for transport there and back
£5-10 for a take away on the way home

So, unless you've inherited wealth, live at home with mummy, indulge in huge debt, or are on an income of over £25,000, every day in this city is a fucking struggle and going out on a budget is a stupid idea...

So people get by, by doing clever short cuts like drinking a few beers on the tube on the way to the pub...


What else do you do when you have £9 for a night out???

Soberly watch everyone else drink and look forward to the one evening every two weeks in which you can afford it??

Nurse 2 drinks all night???

Minesweep dregs???

Rob someone else for their wallet???

Become a music writer???

Or have a few quick beers to get you in the mood and fill up your stomach to allow yourself a slower pace once you get into the bar???


Problem is, no-one in power thinks of this shit, because they all get expenses paid cabs home at the end of their absolutely splendidly polite piss ups.

But booze on the bus, is the reality of many peoples London lives - squeezing out small and boyish economies to allow some kind of quality of life and a release from the fucking drudge and grey faced grind is often the best option if you wanna splat it all out...


And as stupid as it is, this is the beauty of London.

The reason Prince played for 21 nights was because London has the audience.

The reason Sparks are playing their 21 albums here is because they've got more fans here than anywhere else.

Sure, London might be a mean and nasty hard hellhole, but it knows how to party and that's exactly why people love to come here, why every band worth a shit (and many who are not) play here as standard...


The milky bars are on you Boris....