OPINION ::: THE ARCTIC MYSPACE..

Current mood: SPUNKY
Category: SPUNKY Music

So, I'm gonna take a pop at an easy target today and you've probably already guessed it's The Arctic Monkeys – or rather The Arctic Monkeys PR machine and it's meaning..

The very first time I heard the monkeys, I was in a minibus in Central London on my way to play a walk on role in a film called Irena P. The film starred Marianne Faithful and I learnt that day that Marianne F is a woman of enormous individual class.

But before I learnt this, a track came onto Chris Moyles Radio 1 breakfast show that made me laugh for all the wrong reasons.

I'm sure you all know how these over excited DJ twats get. They do a silly version of a song with their hangers on screaming and hollering in the background like chimps at a fucking tea party. The aim is to try and make you forget you're driving to work to sacrifice the best part of your energy and day for some bunch of cunts who couldn't care less if you lived or died….

Well, this track was funny but for all the wrong reasons. Yes boss, I was laughing inside with self righteous pity for Moyles inability to even do so much as a good comedy song – a song that appeared to be trying to sound like a piss take of The Libertines,

And then it finished and this track turned out to be the much feted Arctic Monkeys.

I was gobsmacked and embarrassed…

All this hype??? All this aggrandisement FOR THAT????

Well, since then, the monkeys have enjoyed a musical rise and rep that can only be described as completely and stupidly meteoric, and I've remained completely unconvinced in every aspect.

I'm not only unconvinced of the quality of the monkeys music and lyrics, but also the reality of their 'word of mouth' success.

Yes boss, for my money, this rise is a million miles from the Organic hubbub it was said to be.

I can accept that maybe it started that way, that there was a strong and loyal local fanbase as there is for many bands, but since that start, thier growth has been facilitated initially by myspaces growing hype and marketing (myspace is where it's at – just listen to this!! – myspace found this – now all sign up!!!) and then by a total and complete wave of all media hype that has convinced even the most cynical and critical of minds that this band are vitally fucking important…

Once this kind of snowball is rolling, more or less everyone falls into a line of fake love because they're afraid of being left out in the cold and not being of the moment - being looked at as stupid and uncool. And before long, you have a very average band selling millions and people who know nothing about music going into HMV and asking for the album by 'that internet band'…

This is the crowd mentality and it's always been that way and always will be.

But the strangest and most depressing things about the monkeys fame is that no-one, bar no-one I know of in and around the music bizz excepting Keith Richards has said anything seriously critical of this band. Everyone simply lines up and sucks their cocks, and no band, least of all the arctic monkeys are THAT fucking good…

At the risk of sounding like a paranoid freak, i reckon the reason for this is because marketing is becoming so pernicious and exacting that currently about 96% of people can't see through it at all. Yes boss, so advanced and developed have the techniques of influence become, that words aren't only being put in peoples mouths, they're being fed in the water, the rain and the air and it's well past the point where people can even tell what they're even thinking anymore…

It hasn't always been this way. In fact I'm certain that as little as 10 years ago, people had some ability to think for themselves. Now this seems to be a distant and quaint dream. Everyones fucking nice and yeah yeah yeah and kids these days think being radical is buying pink punk clothes from topshop and going to a 'warehouse' rave where you can't smoke, can't wear baseball caps and need to cough up £20 on the door

Dissent is in the past. The revolution is well and truly over…In fact I want to see that fucking word revolution forgotten for good..…

Anyway, since that first time I heard the monkeys, I've listened again and again and tried very hard to understand why so many people with generally good taste have bought into this band. It is of course possible to be put off by gross hype only to find later that it is in fact accurate and well deserved….

I've discussed the matter with several people who's musical opinion I respect and points such as the vocal delivery being interesting and them meaning what they sing, have been raised and these points have some definite value.

I mean I'm not saying the monkeys are shit or worthless, they're an OK indie rock band who work hard at what they do and deserve respect for that. Anyone who gets up on stage deserves respect. Anyone who tries it out deserves respect.

But I still can't see that the monkeys are doing anything that hasn't been done 34,003 times before. They have nothing to say, no agenda, no politics, no danger, no fresh ideas, no interesting instrumentation, no exciting or sexy attitude, no charisma, no outrageousness, no rock'n' roll and no class.

I'm so convinced of their general lack of value that I'll happily bet everything I own that this band won't have anything other than a small footnote (as being the first big myspace band) in the annals of rock come the year 2050…(If I loose - collect from my kids)

I mean shit, go check out a band like Colossus if you want a challenging and different vocal delivery and download the discography of Herbie Hancock or Miles Davis for innovation - no fuck even that, one album by either of these two has more character and class than the entire 'Sheffield explosion' put together.

Anyway….

I'll stop soon so you can get some words in edgeways, but before I do, I'll finish by saying that the clearest lesson from the monkeys faux rise is that it's shown myspace up to be the same old shit that industry goons like Alan 'Che Guevara' McGee are making a second career out of claiming it isn't.

What I mean is that on the evidence of the monkeys success nothing has changed in the music biz at all as a result of the rise and revolution of msypace!

For all it's multicoloured millions of bands and global phenomena of opportunity, the biggest, most high profile myspace band are 4 white northern boys form England…

Guitar Bass Drums Vocals.

And that is your revolution kids..

NOW PAY UP AND FUCK OFF!!!

Currently listening : Inventions & Dimensions By Herbie Hancock Release date: By 19 July, 2005

10:30 - 8 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	Paloma Pirate	Keep talking like this and you are never going to make it as a music journalist. But who wants to? Posted by Paloma Pirate on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 08:59 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	The Paul Giovanni Music Blog...	Well exactly. I'm currently only really interested in writing for my own pleasure in order to keep in shape and to regain my confidence after the ordeal of the nuclear book.. I reckon it's one of my better pieces anyway and I was surprised i didn't recieve a shit storm of abuse from passionate monkeyettes - but then I guess that just further proves my point that this lot are just a bog standrad indie band of nice boys who are incapable of imspiring any real passions... This band are like 'The Darkness' - most of their fans don't even know if they like them or not - it's all hype and it'll soon die off.... Posted by The Paul Giovanni Music Blog... on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 09:10 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Paloma Pirate	why write for any other reason? i mean it would be nice (i wouldn't mind..) to be paid for writing. but it is one of the few things i actually enjoy doing. i use my blogs as exercises too. i've looked at the nuclear book...i can't say i've gotten very far..looks interesting. i'm working on a novel about a young woman who gets fired from her job. Posted by Paloma Pirate on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 09:14 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	The Paul Giovanni Music Blog...	Well this was always the trouble with the nuclear book - Everybody goes 'Oh wow, that's REALLY interesting!' and then no fucker reads it. I've never undertsood why, because it has everything a good book needs and it's as topical as toast!! I can only guess that the main reason it remains an undisocvered classic is because people get the wrong idea and think it's gonna be all heavy and dense... That and mys kills not being quite on the nail... As with 'the stars' it appears to have a forcefield around it - for some people just don't engage... Is your book also your daydream?? Posted by The Paul Giovanni Music Blog... on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 09:19 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Paloma Pirate	i'll read it. yeah my book is my daydream. i think of new and exciting ways of getting fired every day. it helps to work in hr. Posted by Paloma Pirate on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 09:24 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	The Paul Giovanni Music Blog...	Well thanks... I would read it as well, but it breaks my heart, so i can't anymore... I'm certain it has flaws and that the writing isn't quite good enough, but i'm also certain that if I'd have found a good editor, agent and/or publisher all that would have been ironed out... I mean when you're reading an unedited unpublished book, you have to bear in mind how many fewer pairs of professional eyes have run over it for errors and mistakes of all kinds etc Posted by The Paul Giovanni Music Blog... on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 10:05 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Paloma Pirate	and then you have to think about all the shit that does get the professional treatment. I really don't want to do anything else but write, but that is not happening...it makes me sad and frustrated. Editor's note: paloma has little time to read anything because she is busy at her job that cuts into her writing. Posted by Paloma Pirate on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 09:37 [Remove] [Reply to this]

The Paul Giovanni Music Blog...

Well yes, I was in discussions with one agent for a few weeks and to his credit he drew my attention to several shortcomings in the book as it was then, but he, like so many came out with this - 'it's not commercial' shit.. Of all the criticisms, that's the one that made least sense to me. I mean the only reason i sacrificed everything to do that book was because it was of the fucking moment and hugely fucking commercial. It's the story of someone who was accused of being a 'terrorist' working in a nuclear power station 6 months after Septmeber 11th who then ends up getting involved in some very shady dealings with the underclass of nuclear power - all written in a populist style.. A TRUE FUCKING STORY 'N ALL I even sent out a full dossier of free marketing stunt details - About how it would be dead cheap to market. Shit i even turned up to deliver the manuscript to some agents and publishers in a full nuclear protection suit and gas mask!!! And then I looked at what this guy is representing and it was - for the most part - genre, bull bollocking, stock, copied horseshit... It's not like I'm bitter..... Posted by The Paul Giovanni Music Blog... on Sunday, June 17, 2007 at 10:21 [Remove] [Reply to this]