WRAP UP WARM!!!!

Current mood:VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Today, I had to go and pick up a computer from Southend..


Southend is out on the coast about 40 miles from Fish Island.

Southend had a Pier (which burnt down a year or so ago)

Other than that, there's not much there, other than a bunch of amusement arcades and some low grade seafrontage...

Prior to today, I'd only ever been there once before to meet some drum 'n' bass djays about 5 years ago. That evening ended up with one of the MCs trawling the streets looking for junkies to score from - I followed and watched him..

But that's another story...


So, today, I was figuring that the train was a bit pricey, and that I'd be better off riding Mrs Gs Piaggio scooter there and back..

Yes boss, looking on the map, the route looked simple - if a little BIG AND FAST for a scooter with a purported top speed of 30mph...

But, I always like to know what's possible, and having got very used to nipping around and about London on the Piaggio, I figured the next logical step was to take it further afield and see what it's capabilities were in terms of distance..


I got going at about 2pm, got down onto the A13 and started gunning along..

I was pleased to see 40-45 mph could be squeezed out of the Piaggio and the first 15 miles was all good fun - I was keeping good pace with the 2 to 3 lanes of heavy traffic and didn't feel out of place or intimidated...


But at about mile 16, this started to change..

Yes boss, once you get more or less clear of London proper, and into the hinterlands of Dagenham, the A13 is basically a FUCKING MOTORWAY!!!

The average speed of the traffic ups from 40-50mph to about 60-80mph

And there I was pootling along pushing 45mph on the downhills IF I WAS LUCKY...!!! (the Piaggio sounding like it might explode)


Meanwhile, the cars were going

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

AND THE LORRIES WERE COMPLETELY FUCKING TERRIFYING!!!!


To make matters worse, it was at about mile 17 that it started raining...

Yes boss, just as I was feeling like I might be asking a little too much of the Piaggio, and my own powers of calm control, THE FUCKING RAIN CAME SQUALLING IN FROM THE THAMES LIKE A LAZY APOCALYPSE!!!!

Within 10 minutes I was TOTALLY wet, and within 20 the numbness was setting in...

Fingers, hands, then legs, balls and face...


I kept going, passing Purfleet and Thurrock where just under a year ago, I met up with Gimpo and Positive Void to take part in the M25 25 Hour Spin..

Then past Basildon, where 2 years ago I spent 3 days watching strippers for money, during the making of a HIGH CLASS!!! film called Night Junkies

Meantime, all around, the cars went

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!


2 hours after I'd started, I got to Southend, COLD, NUMB and slightly exhilarated....

I picked up the computer, put it inside 4 carrier bags, topped up the fuel and immediately drove back down the alternative A172 in the dark...


That first 20 miles back Londonwards was like being in a cold tunnel coma.

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

The road was quicker, with no respite or breakup of the 70mph traffic for 20 miles..

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!vVVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

But, I felt an uneasy sense of calm control as the cars passed, leaving me well behind

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!


You can only hold on TIGHT!!! and hope you make it home...


And 182kms and 5 hours after leaving it, I did...

Currently listening: The Acoustic Motorbike By Luka Bloom Release date: 1992-01-20