Current mood: ROARINGLY HAPPY
Category: ROARINGLY HAPPY Music
(please excuse the poor quality, drunken writing on this entry - the story is however true)
So: Mixed views on Aqua, but it's my blingin blog so i say:
Aqua 2 - Doubting DJs 1
Now we move onto my musical moment of the week...
Tinklin The Ivories
Given that only 2 or 3 of u lot have actually been inside my Prison Palace here on Fish Island, I'll explain my living situation a bit before relating what seems to be a very unlikely, yet sickly good musical story....
Well, basically I'm bankrupt at present. Yes, I currently owe £50,000 on various credit cards, overdrafts and personal loans after unwisely pursuing my nuclear book and drinking habbits to their complete and natural conclusions...
I am however an optimistic fucker and am therefore, determined to enjoy my bankrputcy, no matter what the stinnking devils at the bank may say or do, and it's for this reason that i live in this rather nice yuppie hole on Fish Island...
Now, as the word 'fish' suggests, the surrounding area here is currently dubious to the point of being mildly dangerous. However, shortly all this post industrial mess of a locale will change into a beautiful and multi national butterfly....
Yes Horatio, I'm coseyed up right next to Britains 2012 Olympic Dream in a 1040sq luxury flat with 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a balcony big enough to fit a fucking forrest (I'm working on that by the way).
Anyway, the strangest thing about all this, isn't that i don't have 2 pennies to scratch my arse with yet am living in a plush flat, but that one of my friggin neighbours here on le fish is 2005 X Factor winner Shayne Ward.....
Now Shayne is, as you would expect, a very busy man, so i don't see a hell of a lot of him at any time. I will admit to spending several days stalking out his front door (see below) to get some hot and compromising Paparazzi shots a few months back, but I was soon borred with this behaviour, and have, since then left him well alone...
Anyway, last Thursday morning I was getting myself ready to go out.
I was putting my red shoes on and going through the usual list of leaving the house worries (cooker rings left on? doors left open? which hat? which sunglasses? etc)
And in the background I could hear some godawful piano playing.
Shit, I thought, we must have a new neighbour or some existing cunt has taken up the Ivories in revenge for my playing 8 or 12 hours of loud and mostly degenrate music per day....
Well, I gets my shoes on and opens the door and from where is this ungodly racket emanating, but Shayne 'tinklin' Wards flouncey flat!
I kid you not music lovers: The best contestent out of thousands of hopefull X Factoreess has got his bleedin door wide open and is blasting out quite possibly the worst and most amamteurish piano playing I've heard in my friggin life...
Now, I'm not just being mean here because i resent X Factor or hate Simon Cowell and manufactured pop etc. No. Shayne can do what he damn well pleases, because everyone deserves a little peace and quiet, no matter how many ballards they sing...
But such feelings have to be reciprocally observed and this noise was anything but quiet and dignified and it certainly wasn't ignorable. Yes boss, Mr Ward was hammering out one of those standard 'learning to play piano tunes' on some horrible sounding electric piano and frankly, it sounded like he was trying to kill someone with his bad noise..
Well shit. You don't need me to tell you that this isn't what's required in the early hours of any day. And, had I have had the time to dawdle I'd have nipped in to his flat, taken a quick video, a set of pap photos, and scared the living shit out of him, before registering a complaint in the strongest possible terms and leaving him wondering why he even tries to hold his dwindling career together..
I was however in a double hurry, so did nothing other than get on with my lazy business and think about how best to take advantage of such a situation in the future....
I can now therefore swear that the next he tries this piano bashing trick, I'm gonna be onto him like a flashdance in a cheap fucking suit.
And providing he doesn't kill me as I snap and record, I'll share with you the resultant pictures....
xxPG
 | Currently listening : Shayne Ward By Shayne Ward Release date: By 27 May, 2006  |
18:31 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
No comments:
Post a Comment