The Futureproof Cuddling Pop Blog By Paul Pious James Deman Giovanni £rd...: THE TRAINED RETRO PLAGUE...

Current mood: MERCY MERCY MERCY!!!
Category: MERCY MERCY MERCY!!! Music

A few weeks back I breifly railed against the ’new’ female singing hit sensation that is Duffy...

Now, having done a little more research, and heard a little more of this most modern of songstresses...

I’m going to do exactly the same thing again

Yes boss, I’m not afraid to repeat myself time and time again - since when has pop music been about anything else??

So, last night, I heard a few Duffy songs ’LIVE’ on Radio 2 at the Maida Vale Studios...

And here’s what I found out:

Her band are deathly unimaginable and utterly retro dull
Her voice is very ordinary. It’s not distinct, original or emotional. It’s a photocopy of her influences with no new development or personal slant.
Her look is a complete replication
Her lyrics are abysmal
Her real first name is Amy (seriously!!)
She’s completely music bizz

ALT.INDIE MUSIC BIZZ!?

Owen Powell of Catatonia and Richard Parfitt of Newport band 60ft Dolls, introduced Duffy in August 2004 to former Public Image Ltd. member turned music manager and part-owner of Rough Trade Records Jeanette Lee.^[8] Lee moved Duffy to Crouch End in London,^[9] and orchestrated a meeting between Duffy and Suede’s ex-guitar player Bernard Butler, who then co-wrote with her and helped create a new retro sound.^[10] Together with another rising star, Adele, Duffy was the most prominent of the so-called "new Amys" (a reference to singer Amy Winehouse) ^[11]: for example, under the sub-title, "The New Amys", Adam Thompson wrote in The Times on 30 December 2007 that "Duffy, Gabriella Cilmi and Adele lead the charge to be the next Winehouse.

BLIMEY!!!

Now don’t get me wrong here, I don’t mind talented cabaret acts, retro performers or cameo appearances. I like cover versions and tribute bands so long as they play small clubs and pubs that constitue a sideshow.

Yes boss, as with classical music, the only way the kids are gonna get to hear the works of the greats is to go and see a good covers band down their local boozer - that’s fair enough..

But new and original chart topping pop music shouldn’t be about that and it should have nothing to do with Radio 2.

No boss, for those of you unfamiliar with UK radio stations, BBC Radio 2 is an institution where the old pop goes to slowly die. That this station features Duffy playing LIVE AS SHE IS Number 1 says everything. That she’s been on the scene for a number of weeks and is already being featured on Radio 2 IS A FUCKING DISGRACE!!

NEW pop music should be so threatening, dangerous and edgey that Radio 2 are frightened to touch it 10 years on, let alone 10 days...

What I’m driving at here is that Duffy IS LAZY DULL SAFE, CLEAN POP MUSIC!!!! SHE’S BAD RETROGRADE, UNORIGINAL, UNIMAGINATIVE, FEED THE PROLES SOMETHING EASY - KEEP THE FUCKERS QUIET SCRABBLING AROUND FOR OVER PRICED MORTGAGES SINGING ’MERCY MERCY MERCY!!’...

Yes boss, you know I hate to get HEAVY THEORETICAL, but Jean Baudrillard, is completely vindicated by this shit. Duffy is the Casino Las Vegas version of Venice

’The Venetian Hotel is an extraordinary celebration of the beauty, grace, and artistic vision of Venice. A masterwork of sweeping architecture and renaissance revelry. The Venetian triumphs in bringing together the inspired elegance of the city of canals and the unparalleled excitement of Las Vegas. Faithfully recreating the aura and ambience of the fabled Italian city, The Venetian will transport you not only to another place, but to another time as well.’

As with this fake Venitian money dream, Duffy has none of the original fight, guts, struggle and power of the voice she sings with. There’s none of the shitty smells, litter or original pompous grandiosity of the real Venice - just a clean, well managed and flawless replication of something that is designed and built to make money alone...

YES BOSS, WE LIVE IN AN AGE OF RECYCLING

AND DUFFY IS A CLEAN AND SHINEY BOTTLE BANK...!

05:14 - 13 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove -

Brigid Power-Ryce

well said!

Posted by Brigid Power-Ryce on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 17:40
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Emily

Eh, she's being hyped in the U.S. as well a bit.
She was in "People" magazine, which I guess is the U.S. equivalent of Hello!
At any rate, it was like "WELSH singer Duffy is the next big thing." I guess I can't fault People magazine, to them Wales is as remote as the moon or something.

Posted by Emily on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 17:54
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot more of her in the months to come...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 18:21
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

I popped the video on as I read down the page. Sounds like Amy W. caterwauling to me. I had to scroll back up to look at the video to make sure you weren't pullin' a fast one.

Isn't it great how the music biz always tries to clone a successful act, instead of tryin' to make a new one? I think maybe they do it to try to trick people on purpose. I mean, if I heard Duffy on the radio I probably woulda thought it was Amy.

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 18:39
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

The main problem with the music business is that most people who work in it do so because they think it's a 'cool' career and not because they have any real interest in music...

Such people can't tell a good band from an albatross - so they copy what they see to be a winning formular...

This happens time and time and time again...

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 20:49
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The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club

What about Albatross - Milwaukee's Hottest New Band!

(didn't think so)

Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 22:32
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simon

Even worse than that it that they are already getting the indentikit sad twats that are on early evening saturday night TV to do even worse cover versions of Duffy already!
Yes very sadly I caught the last 10 minutes of the search for Oliver drivel and one of the nonentities was singing Mercy as a way of getting the job of Nancy, like where is the connection? Is Duffy the new Lionel Bart? I think Not!!

Posted by simon on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 19:26
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: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

HOORAY FOR DAYTIME TV!!!

Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 20:17
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Clinker

Every major success spawns a million copycats hyped to the hilt by greedy and jealous record companys. Sex Pistols, Nirvana, whoever.

The sad thing is, it distills the real talent of the original artist, in this case Amy Winehouse (who is retro, but fucking talented and probably the best truly soulful female voice this country has ever seen in my opinion).

Saying Duffy or Adele is the new Amy just misses the point entirely and is an insult.

Duffy (and Adele - is she the new Kate Nash too?) hopefully will disappear quickly, when the record company doesn't make enough money to cover what they've spent on promoting the talentless waste of space.

Posted by Clinker on Sunday, April 06, 2008 at 20:33
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