2 News....

Current mood: FUCKING MOTORBIKES!!!!!
Category: FUCKING MOTORBIKES!!!!! News and Politics

Here we go with some chatter about 2 TV programs I lapsed in and out of this evening...

The first was Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boormans documentary about driving their motorbikes SOLO (with a full back up possey and doctor and TV crew) from Northern Scotland to the very bottom of South Africa...

Now, a while back, I saw the first episode of Boorish and McGregors first swanny around the globe, which seemed to involve them driving motorbikes from Notting Hill Gate to China.

Well, that first episode of that first trip, followed all the preparations for their 'adventure', and it was mind numbingly dull....

Yes boss, it was composed of them and their office army of helpers phoning up all kinds of companies and blagging GALLONS OF FREE FUCKING GEAR!!!!!

The only amusing bit, was when Boorish threw a wobbler because BMW pulled out of giving them 2 FREE FUCKING BRILLIANT ALL TERRAIN MOTORBIKES at the last minute - apparently, they thought it might be better if McGregor STUCK TO FIGHTING DARTH VADER, RATHER THAN DRIVING A FUCKING MOTORBIKE POINTLESSLY ACROSS RUSSIA?!?!?


Well, Mrs G had this on in bits, as she browsed through the channels looking for something else better, and though i put on a Spinal Tap tape, I could still hear what was happening....

And the most remarkable bit on todays new trip episode (them sitting in on a foreskinning ritual aside) was when they decided to drop in on the site of a massacre in some school in Kenya?!?!?

Yes boss, they said that so and so town was the scene of an APPALLING massacre a few years back (cue BBC news footage of said pointless massacre) and seeing as though we were passing it, THEY FELT THEY HAD TO POP IN?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK????

SINCE WHEN HAS IT BEEN NECESSARY TO POP IN ON TRAGEDIES LIKE THIS AND PRETEND TO GIVE A FUCK?!?!?

AND HOW COME SUCH AN ACTIVITY IS NOW A CORNERSTONE OF EVERY GOOD FUCKING HOLIDAY?!?!?


Shit, when I was young, my mum used to take us to graveyards to look at the odd famous tombstone (Arthur Conan Doyle & Highwayman Dick Turpin to name 2) - but that was years after the tragedy and IT WAS CHEAP!!!!


But these cunts are both rich, and they're hanging around death, and then there's Boorish or McGregor giving this little diatribe about how he can't understand how someone could kill a bunch of kids for no apparent reason...

AND I'M THINKING...

FUCK OFF POSH BOY FROM A COUNTRY WHO DOES (AND SUPPORTS) THAT KIND OF THING IN THE MIDDLE EAST ON A REGULAR FUCKING BASIS?!?!?! GO AND STORM DOWNING FUCKING STREET IF YOU FEEL SO FUCKING STRONGLY ABOUT IT YOU DULL OLD CUNT!!!!!


Well, I guess my point here, is that adventures only interest me if they involve little planning, one person against the odds who barely survives to tell the tale..!!!

So these TV ones never quite cut it...

No boss, it's my opinion that a TRUE adventure shouldn't be covered by film until a proper adventurer can pack down everything filmy into a fag packet...

Having a back up crew is crap...

Currently listening : Camembert Electrique By Gong Release date: 2001-08-28