So, where have I been???

Current mood:CHEEKY CHEEKY!!!!
Category: Life

UP MY OWN ARSE - WHERE ELSE?!?!?!?


But seriously....

What's been happening???


Well, shitloads....

Yes boss, strange and unique times are afoot and here's a brief overview of some of the events of the last 3 weeks...


Firstly, and perhaps most blog blockingly, I'm currently dancing on the hottest legal coals for some considerable period of time and may (if my dance isn't up to scratch, be about to spend some time courtesy of Her Majesty)

Yes boss, the Giovan disregard for common financial sense and rule obeyance, appears to have finally come home to roost AND THE ROAD LEADS TO JAIL...!!!


Of course if I were a banking Chief Exec and I'd done a runner with some money whilst not being completely honest as to the wheres and whyfores - I'd simply claim a multi-million pound bonus pay off, make some mealy mouthed statements about how 'It wasn't really my fault' 'I couldn't possible have seen it coming' and that 'It's a global crisis' before jumping straight back into my limo and heading over to my mates office whereupon I'd start my new job as a banking regulator....

I am however not a banker - so things ain't quite that simple...


This so, though in most cases jail time sounds like a whole lot of shit shoving in the shower, I don't believe this imminent possibility to be ALL bad news...

No boss, I reckon a well managed stint in the nick will also seal my place as being the one and only true written radical working in the UK today!!!

I'LL SURE AS SHIT COME OUT WITH 10 COMPLETED GENIUS MANUSCRIPTS AND THE BEST STORIES YET!!!!

WHAT THE HELL ELSE CAN YOU DO IN A CELL FOR 23 HOURS A DAY OTHER THAN WRITE ETERNAL WORDS????

(other than avoid Big Verns love stick....)


Jail will however also be the termination of my current personal happiness, and a grave disruption to my family life - so it's not something I'm trying to anything other than avoid...


I've therefore spent a good deal of this last few weeks trying to get money to save my ass and mostly failing...

I am not good with money - other than in spending it...

No boss, green doesn't like my back pocket..


Perhaps the wierdest thing I've done to try and make some is to apply for a job at the supermarket chain Tescos...

Yes boss, I have the interview tomorrow and I sincerely hope I get the job..


Of course Mrs Giovanni is convinced this is yet another slab of incontrovertible proof that I am now in teenage years

Yes boss, first I start buzzing around on a 30mph scooter, and second I apply for a part time job at Tescos...

'It all smacks of age 16' she says...

My 2 month old daughter farts loudly

This is life...


Now, some of you might agree with Mrs G...

Or even laugh at the thought of me THE GREAT GIOVANNI being bothered ten times an hour by a procession of brain dead simpletons who can't find the 'cheese sticks'...

But as the world financial system continues to collapse in ever more epic fashion, I can think of no better place to be than in prison or working than in a supermarket...

No boss, whilst all you serious intelligent jobbers will be clamoring for scraps from the rubbish and drinking water out of the canals, I PIPPY GG WILL BE PIGGING IT OUT IN THE STAFF ROOM EATING THE BEST FOOD KNOW TO BUDGET SUPERMARKETS AND SHOOTING AT ANY CUNTS WHO TRY AND BREAK IN AND GET A PIECE!!!!!


Perhaps inevitably, this recent move towards new working food popularism, has been combined with a new Giovan effort to target, write about and access the current pop mainstream in 2009...

Yes boss, up till now, these blogs have by and large been focused on acts with unquestionable musical talent, ability and clever guile - but who have a regular inability or undesire to access the mainstream pop charts...

Now, I hold this against no such band and I know some such will eventually make it there at some point by choice, sustained determined effort or by accident - I am however getting a little impatient to see a bit of the big time NOW!!!

I'm therefore spending time focusing on more commercial acts and those artists who are unashamedly focusing on being POPTASTIC BIG!!!!

Yes boss, it's no word of a lie, that this last week, I've been sharing the same rarified air as X-Factors Diana Vickers, Laura Steel, Frankie Biggz, Shanai, Irene B & The Cheeky Girls...

I'M WATCHING THE POP STABLE!!!!

And the wierd thing is they appear to like me.....


Now, I'm sure some of you might see this as some kind of a horrendous sell out - but I would like to point out that Barbie Girl has long been one of my very favourite tracks

I would also confirm that I believe the line in the Cheeky girls hit track 'Touch My Bum'

'Touch my bum - this is life'

is without question a more profound and potent lyric than Bob Dylan will ever manage....

(and will perhaps be all the more relevant to my life if I end up in jail...)


So, there we go, go, go.....

Currently listening: Stop Back Pain Now! Release date: 2004-07-27