Saturday 3 March 2007

HOLY STING

OK..

So I have a good Sting story.

Basically, on another occasion in which I was earwigging Lauren Laverne, she was saying that he did an acoustic set for The Culture Show, much like the others I've witnessed and reported on in my amidst these very pages.

So, being the new age kind of guy that he is, Sting had to get the right and indulgent gear to perform this song, and in this case the right and indulgent gear was deemed to be a Lute.

For those of you who might not have come across a Lute before, it's basically a small guitar like instrument as used in 'ye olde england'. Imagine, Monty Pythons The Holy Grail, think of the minstrels that accompany Brave Sir Robin - one was most likely clasping and gently plucking a Lute...

Now, this in itself is pretty far off the mark. Rock stars and Lutes shouldn't really mix...Folk stars maybe, but not rock stars NO!..I mean Bob Dylan could maybe get away with it, but no-one else and certainly not Sting..

Anyway, Laverne said she was doing the intro with him and there was a delay because the cameraman wasn't happy or the lights were wrong. She turned to see what the problem was and by the time she'd turned back to Sting, he 'd hoisted his leg up in the air above his head like some kind of yogic god!

Now I've nothing against Lutes or Yogic Positions, but just imagine this: A studio full of people, and at the focus of it is Sting - Lute in one hand and this fucking extended leg in the other, toes pointed skywards as if he were divining for rain...

What a picture!

The bidding war the tabloids would have indulged in for a slice of it, would have been epic and extremely lucrative...Too bad no-one had a camera handy...


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