The night before I was due to watch Babyshambles record I Love You, But You're Green for BBC2s The Culture Show, I felt nervous and badly bothered and I couldn’t understand why.
So, I sat up all night against a backdrop of very poor cricket and tried to work it out..
Various theories came and went..
One was that my disquiet was pure annoyance at the musical genius myth of Doherty and that by going to see him and gawp, I was pandering to a made up, star obsessed celebrity culture I didn't believe in.
You see, when you look at the facts, it's Doherties lifestyle rather than his music that's made him a household name. Neither The Libertines or Babyshambles have made treble platinum, or sold out Wembley on the back of their name alone. They haven’t had 6 consecutive number ones, and I’d be more than willing to bet that if you stopped 10 people at random in the street and asked them to sing a Pete Doherty song, at least 9 would struggle to pull it off…
So, why should I want to go an see someone perform music that had yet to touch me or for that matter most of the population in any real and musical way? Was I in danger of becoming another sad old star fucker, going along with the tide??
Worse than this, perhaps I was just going to see a freak show - to see a man on his way to the modern equivalent of the cross - a creative human sacrifice??
Well shit, perhaps all of this was true. But if i really gave a shit about that sort of thing, why on earth was I involved in the entertainment business in any way shape or form? It only takes the briefest of glances behind the scenes of any creative enterprise, to see that the whole game is corrupt, vouyeristic and canibalistic by nature. It feeds on misery and destruction as art always must, and no matter how much old morals suggested i should, I certainly didn't disagree with this state of affairs, if only because there's no point disagreeeing with something that's inevitable..
So, if not this, then perhaps it was all about Kate Moss??
Perhaps I disliked the idea of Pete because he was fucking the most desired woman in the country and I wasn't?
Well, all of these and various other ideas came and went, but none really added up to a full tirck, and with Australia on the cusp of a ridiculous victory, I put such thoughts aside, made it in to the venue for the recording and watched.
The strange thing was that from the word go, I was hugely impressed with both Pete and Babyshambles.
Contrary to the myths of lateness and bad behaviour, the band arrived on time or perhaps a bit early. They walked in and onto the stage as if they’d just popped out for a packet of fags and the audience were paintings on the wall.
Without fucking about, they then got on with playing their music as if it was the most natural thing in the world. There was no pretentious concern about the soundcheck or any discernable ego or nasty attitude to be seen. They simply played like they wanted to play, and like playing was their life. It was fluid and smooth and a pleasure to watch and Pete behaved like a charming, quiet and pleasant young man.
It was much later in the evening, or perhaps even the next, that I worked out the true nature of my original problem…
It was nothing short of pure jealousy…
Currently listening : The Blinding EP By Babyshambles Release date: By 05 December, 2006 |
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