The Futureproof Cuddling Pop Blog By Paul Pious James Deman Giovanni £rd...

PG£ NOW WRITING EXLCUSIVELY AT WWW.PAULGIOVANNI.COM

2009-03-06T14:05:00.006Z

CLICK THE PICS TO READ THE WORDS...

SO THIS IS THE END!!!!!

2009-02-25T20:40:00.003Z

Current mood:MOVING ON.....
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

of the blogs on myspace....

At least the end of the original written content....

Yes boss, it's been 2 years and 3 days since I started 'The Futureproof Cuddling Pop Blog', and inline with my promise I'm now stopping the issue of new words here on the spazz...

It's been a blast - but it's time for a change...

So, as from today, all new writing will appear over on one of the 4 or 5 BRAND NEW blogs located, run and maintained at www.paulgiovanni.com...

Yes boss, I like the idea of writing at paulgiovanni.com because it allows full control over the presentation - it will also allow me to peeky poke in ways of charging for my words - principally through the soon to be launched 'Club Giovanni'...

Furthermore, with the myspazz terms and conditions of decency and taste no longer applying, I'll be even freer to RANT AND RAVE!!!!

In particular, I plan to go into a little more lurid detail about my theories about the end of sex...

So, to ease the transition over, and to keep all of you who want life in as few clicks and complications as poss, I'm gonna be putting a bi-weekly 'links' blog here on the spazz which'll consist of a list of links to all the new paulgiovanni.com blogs of that bi-week...

This means if you're not interested in following my new work at paulgiovanni.com direct via RSS or email, or 'favouriting' paulgiovanni.com, you can still have easy access to the new stuff through your PG£ myspazz blog subscription..

Yes boss, rather than getting a generic email telling you there's a new blog about god knows what from myspace every time I post, you'll instead get a generic email once or twice a week to a myspace blog that will list the titles, subjects and perhaps even a quick blurb about the topic of each new posting, so as to enable you to pick and choose what you read...

I'm also gonna spend a week of posts here introducing you to the new format, the themes and areas that each new blog starting with a post about the new blog entitled....

Thanks and all the best....

PG£

Currently listening:
My Way
By Frank Sinatra
Release date: 1990-10-25

And there was I thinking I was the Nostradamus of myspace.....

2009-02-25T20:40:00.001Z

Current mood:TRUMPED!!!
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

When in fact it's Mr Cursor Miner....

Just check out this list of predictions and claimed predictions from his blog of today...

For the record, I Cursor Miner have predicted many of the trends in music and culture over the past decade. I predicted the rise of the synthpop/electroclash stuff. I predicted the move towards lower tempos of dubstep, I predicted neo-rave and acid revival. I predicted the fantasy/glam/costumed up 70s bands that we seem to be seeing now. I predicted everyone making more stickers. I predicted the credit crunch. I predicted the move away from quantisation that I think is 'wonky'. I predicted helicopters. In fact I know exactly whats going on but do the masses listen and herald my albums as the workings of an inspired prophet? Do they shit.
OK, so now I'm going to set it down in timestamped bits and bytes 10 things you're going to hear about soon, so that I can blog here again in a few years and say HA. There's a lot more but I'm keeping them to myself to make huge wads of cash out of. Yes that always happens.

1: more percussion. latiny noises, shakey tribal business. more voodoo magic and shamanism mighty boosh/drums of death etc.

2: full on dance music but with really small sounds. productions been getting bigger and more punchy, pretty soon it'll go the other way, but actually you can get an awful lot of dance out of quite small noises. see latin above. LESS about bass.

3: return of the 12 bar chord sequence 1-5-1-7-5-etc . OK , I been predicting this since 98 but it's gonna happen eventually

4: halfstep drum n bass meets reggaeton....

5: the continued rise of glitchy wonked out hiphop

6: 1/4 step breakcore. like the slow beats with millions of doublebassdrums of death metal.

7: kids actually inventing 'dance' moves to 'dance' music... actually it probably won't happen but I mean why is every one so lame at dancing now?? 'Dance" music need to reunite itself with "dancing" yeah?

8: the continued demise of the age of reason and the slide into the NEW DARK AGES.

9: a physical theory based on the inability to obtain information out of a unified theory. All physics equations are based on an equivalence, something equls something else. But at a true 'singularity' this dualism is not relevant. the duality of QM/GR reflects the duality of the whole mathmatical approach.

10: More arrogant blogs from me. I seem to be turning into Michael Moorcocks Pyat you see.

Currently listening:
Cursor Miner Plays God
By Cursor Miner
Release date: 2004-08-19

WHAT IN THE HELL......

2009-02-25T20:39:00.003Z

Current mood:PEACE BROTHER.....!!!!
Category: Religion and Philosophy

EVER HAPPENED TO THE AGE OF AQUARIUS....?!?!?!?

WEREN'T WE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE COMBINED IN A NEW ERA OF PEACE AND WHOLESOME SANCTITY BY NOW...?!?!?!?

Currently listening:
Hair - The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical (1968 Original Broadway Cast)
By James Rado
Release date: 1990-10-25

All you need is....

2009-02-25T20:39:00.001Z

Current mood:MINE'S A MCCARTNEY!!!
Category: Music

From todays copy of Londons morning daily Metro...

http://forthebenefitofmrbuffet.blogspot.com/

Currently listening:
Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge
By The Pierces
Release date: 2007-03-20

So, where have I been???

2009-02-25T20:38:00.000Z

Current mood:CHEEKY CHEEKY!!!!
Category: Life

UP MY OWN ARSE - WHERE ELSE?!?!?!?

But seriously....

What's been happening???

Well, shitloads....

Yes boss, strange and unique times are afoot and here's a brief overview of some of the events of the last 3 weeks...

Firstly, and perhaps most blog blockingly, I'm currently dancing on the hottest legal coals for some considerable period of time and may (if my dance isn't up to scratch, be about to spend some time courtesy of Her Majesty)

Yes boss, the Giovan disregard for common financial sense and rule obeyance, appears to have finally come home to roost AND THE ROAD LEADS TO JAIL...!!!

Of course if I were a banking Chief Exec and I'd done a runner with some money whilst not being completely honest as to the wheres and whyfores - I'd simply claim a multi-million pound bonus pay off, make some mealy mouthed statements about how 'It wasn't really my fault' 'I couldn't possible have seen it coming' and that 'It's a global crisis' before jumping straight back into my limo and heading over to my mates office whereupon I'd start my new job as a banking regulator....

I am however not a banker - so things ain't quite that simple...

This so, though in most cases jail time sounds like a whole lot of shit shoving in the shower, I don't believe this imminent possibility to be ALL bad news...

No boss, I reckon a well managed stint in the nick will also seal my place as being the one and only true written radical working in the UK today!!!

I'LL SURE AS SHIT COME OUT WITH 10 COMPLETED GENIUS MANUSCRIPTS AND THE BEST STORIES YET!!!!

WHAT THE HELL ELSE CAN YOU DO IN A CELL FOR 23 HOURS A DAY OTHER THAN WRITE ETERNAL WORDS????

(other than avoid Big Verns love stick....)

Jail will however also be the termination of my current personal happiness, and a grave disruption to my family life - so it's not something I'm trying to anything other than avoid...

I've therefore spent a good deal of this last few weeks trying to get money to save my ass and mostly failing...

I am not good with money - other than in spending it...

No boss, green doesn't like my back pocket..

Perhaps the wierdest thing I've done to try and make some is to apply for a job at the supermarket chain Tescos...

Yes boss, I have the interview tomorrow and I sincerely hope I get the job..

Of course Mrs Giovanni is convinced this is yet another slab of incontrovertible proof that I am now in teenage years

Yes boss, first I start buzzing around on a 30mph scooter, and second I apply for a part time job at Tescos...

'It all smacks of age 16' she says...

My 2 month old daughter farts loudly

This is life...

Now, some of you might agree with Mrs G...

Or even laugh at the thought of me THE GREAT GIOVANNI being bothered ten times an hour by a procession of brain dead simpletons who can't find the 'cheese sticks'...

But as the world financial system continues to collapse in ever more epic fashion, I can think of no better place to be than in prison or working than in a supermarket...

No boss, whilst all you serious intelligent jobbers will be clamoring for scraps from the rubbish and drinking water out of the canals, I PIPPY GG WILL BE PIGGING IT OUT IN THE STAFF ROOM EATING THE BEST FOOD KNOW TO BUDGET SUPERMARKETS AND SHOOTING AT ANY CUNTS WHO TRY AND BREAK IN AND GET A PIECE!!!!!

Perhaps inevitably, this recent move towards new working food popularism, has been combined with a new Giovan effort to target, write about and access the current pop mainstream in 2009...

Yes boss, up till now, these blogs have by and large been focused on acts with unquestionable musical talent, ability and clever guile - but who have a regular inability or undesire to access the mainstream pop charts...

Now, I hold this against no such band and I know some such will eventually make it there at some point by choice, sustained determined effort or by accident - I am however getting a little impatient to see a bit of the big time NOW!!!

I'm therefore spending time focusing on more commercial acts and those artists who are unashamedly focusing on being POPTASTIC BIG!!!!

Yes boss, it's no word of a lie, that this last week, I've been sharing the same rarified air as X-Factors Diana Vickers, Laura Steel, Frankie Biggz, Shanai, Irene B & The Cheeky Girls...

I'M WATCHING THE POP STABLE!!!!

And the wierd thing is they appear to like me.....

Now, I'm sure some of you might see this as some kind of a horrendous sell out - but I would like to point out that Barbie Girl has long been one of my very favourite tracks

I would also confirm that I believe the line in the Cheeky girls hit track 'Touch My Bum'

'Touch my bum - this is life'

is without question a more profound and potent lyric than Bob Dylan will ever manage....

(and will perhaps be all the more relevant to my life if I end up in jail...)

So, there we go, go, go.....

Currently listening:
Stop Back Pain Now!
Release date: 2004-07-27

CALLING DOCTOR BEAT!!!!!

2009-02-25T20:37:00.000Z

Current mood:BACKACHE OBAMA!!!!!
Category: Life

I'M BACK!!!!

YES BOSS, THE BLOG STRIKE IS OVER!!!!

GOD SAVE PAUL PIOUS JAMES DEMAN GIOVANNI £RD!!!!!

Currently listening:
The Military Band: Salute to the Services
By Francis Saltus Van Boskerek
Release date: 1998-06-02

THE TIMES....

2009-02-18T01:47:00.003Z

Current mood:GOD IS A FROZEN TWAT!!!!!
Category: Life

are a changing...

Yes boss, I'm sure some of you are thinking:

'HO HO HO!!! THAT GIOVANNI HAS GONE QUIET BECAUSE HE CAN'T HACK BEING A DAD - HE'S BOUGHT A FUCKING PEOPLE CARRIER AND STARTED ENJOYING PERIOD DRAMAS!!! HE'S SHOT HIS BOLT AND NOW HE'S PAYING!!!! BY HELL, HE'S NEVER GONNA CREATE A DAMN THING AGAIN!!!!'

But no....

If there's one thing I'm used to it's being deprived of sleep....

And if there's another thing that gets me truly going, it's difficult, challenging and intense times - this is my cricket pitch and so spurred am I, that I'm expanding ALL PGC OPERATIONS WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT!!!

Yes boss, the vigilant amongst you will have noticed that the 2 years and 3 days of Giovanni on myspace are coming to an end...

I have my 23,000 friends, February 19th is the date - and from then on a new, slicker, more beautiful manifestation of the PG£ experience will be coming your way EXCLUSIVELY by way of paulgiovanni.com

WHAT'S THAT MEAN???

It means the blogs are splitting into 5 and moving house...

Then there's gonna be Club Giovanni for all you hardcore intelligent types, as well as much more I either can't or don't want to talk about just now..

IT'S GO GO GO!!!!

But of course, in arctic London it's not been all GO GO GO!!! so much as NO NO NO!!!

Yes boss, today (like everyone else) I was forced to take a part sickie and instead got to grips with the best snow in London for 18 years...

The first and main job was of course to build a snowman on the balcony

this task was completed under the watchful eye of the 'boss' and her two STASI POLICE STATE NAZI PINK AND WHITE CHECKED ASSISTANTS!!!!

The boss wasn't always impressed with my work rate...

Or my occasional lapse into general and unregulated horseplay....

But I think we can all agree the result of my efforts was little short of STUNNING!!!!

SURELY MY BEST WORK YET!!!!

Currently listening:
To Be in Love Pt.1
By Masters at Work
Release date: 1999-06-29

TAKING THE NOEL....

2009-02-18T01:47:00.001Z

Current mood:splitting matches.....

The man accused of attacking Noel Gallagher onstage in Toronto last year has had his charge upgraded.

Gallagher broke several ribs after Daniel Sullivan, 47, ran onstage and pushed the guitarist onto his monitors during Oasis' Virgin Festival gig in Toronto last September. The band were subsequently forced to cancel a number of gigs and promotional plans for new album 'Dig Out Your Soul', in order to allow Gallagher to recover.

Sullivan was originally charged with assault over the
incident, but his charge has now been upgraded to one count of
aggravated assault.

The maximum sentence carried by aggravated assault is 14 years in prison, whereas the maximum penalty for assault is five years.

Sullivan is due in court on March 6 for the pre-trial hearing.

And for those of you who might have missed it.....

Currently listening:
At Folsom Prison
By Johnny Cash
Release date: 1999-10-19

CASA HASA GIOVANNA ::: EPISODE 14 ::: NO THEME JUST A JUMBLE

2009-02-18T01:46:00.003Z

Current mood:BAAAAAA!!!!!!
Category: Music

Shoddy, rushed and not at all thought out....

But still full of top tunes and worth 69:23 of your time....

Currently listening:
Chill Out
By The KLF
Release date: 1993-04-08

The Perfect Storm....

2009-02-18T01:46:00.001Z

Current mood:DUCK!!!!!
Category: Life

Jesus....?!?!?

Do you ever get these moments in life where a wierd, confusing and unusual energy seems to follow your every move and deal???

I had one such about 6 months after I first moved into London in 2002....

Then, my personal life was a mess and I was getting through about £2000 of the banks money per month - but those weren't the main problems...

No boss, the bigger fish were that if I touched a machine it broke. If I sat under some shelves they fell down. If I walked down the street chaos would follow, and if I sat trying not to be seen, it'd be a matter of minutes before some premier oddball would be in my face gyrating my nerves...

Well, I'm both sorry and pleased to say I'm having one such 'chaos' this last week...

Yes boss, this time, my personal life is absolutely fine (other than when I insisted on walking the baby back across the park in the dark, against Mrs G's advice)

Instead, I'm having real machine troubles...

Yes boss, in the space of the last 6 days I've sold 7 laptops on ebay...

By last night 2 of the buyers had pulled out because they're twats, leaving me with the listing costs and the no money I was expecting and relying upon - meantime 2 others had reported problems and requested full refunds...

In that same time, I've also bought 5 laptops to upgrade, adapt and sell on...:

Of these, one of the sellers appears to have done a runner with my £70, 1 is yet to appear and the other 3 are still in the box - where they'll stay until I can face opening it, in case there's 3 fucking house bricks in there...

Add onto this that last night, a hard drive and laptop of my own broke inside an hour, and then at the end of the night my BASTARD PINK BARBIE TAPE PLAYER WOULDN'T RELEASE THE FUCKING EDDIE IZZARD CASSETTE?!?!? and you'll perhaps understand that I'm feeling a little ragged...

Well, I figured today was a new day - but this morning, the wierdness has continued....

Yes boss, another 2 of the sold laptops have developed problems and everyone wants refunds that I don't have, because I've spent the bleeding money on crap like this gold plated Swarovski fish (that I've spent all afternoon photographing)....

Meanwhile, the rent is late, the electric bill isn't paid, the undersoil heating is coming on and off when it pleases, the cooker is HOT mental and a valve from the pump has disappeared...

All of this leads me to ask:

WHERE IN THE FUCK IS MAGIC MESSIAH OBAMA WHEN YOU NEED HIM???? NEVERMIND AMERICA AND THE FREE FUCKING WORLD - COME AND SAVE THE PAUL GIOVANNI CORPORATION WHY DON'T YOU????!!!!

Of course, some would say that all of this chaos isn't quite the ideal backdrop for the first month of fatherhood...

But I think the idea that you need to be super clever settled and loaded with cash in order to have children is bollocks...

I mean, what better way to recover your tempo after a bad run of luck, than to cuddle a little warm thing who couldn't care less if the world stops turning, SO LONG AS SHE GETS HER MILK AND CAN FART, SHIT AND BURP CORRECTLY....!!

Anyway....

Because I have £5 or 600s less than I should have I'm conducting another BIG fire sale of the Giovanni archive....!!

Yes boss, due to nappy changing and photo editing, very little of this stock is now online - but some is, and every all bit of it is available to view and buy from the Fishy Fort...

So if any of you have any CASH£$£$£$£$£ money and want to come and get some super deals on anything I own (EXCEPT THE GOLDEN FISH!!!) come on over....!)

Currently listening:
Circle
By Eddie Izzard
Release date: 2005-10-24

Yesterday.....

2009-02-18T01:45:00.000Z

Current mood:SOMBRE....
Category: Life

was an absolute bum of a day...

Yes boss, it started bad and got progressively worse until about 3pm, when the tide appeared to turn...

My problems were mostly about my juggling 19 small financial balls, 24 hours a day and inevitably seeing 4 or 5 falling in quick succession...

It was such a bad Monday, I almost understood Bob Geldofs song about Mondays being awful...

Today was however much better, even though several of the problems of the previous day continued walking alongside me like secret service men alongside 'The Beast'

Yes boss, I caught an hour or so of Inauguration Day and found myself with far more mixed feelings towards Obama than yesterday...

I first tuned into the hoopla this evening, at about the time the Senators started dropping like flies at the inauguration lunch (Trust one of the Kennedys to try and get in on the act and trump the main news of the day?!?!?)

I then watched on as the frozen parade made it's tracks and couldn't help but feel there was something utterly stark about it all..

Yes boss, it wasn't anything to do with a man who's middle name is Hussein being at the center of all things US...

Or even the mafiaesque nature of the parade, with guys hanging off of pick ups like a bunch of Taliban who've just swept into a newly taken town ...

It was the over-riding feel of a whole country being well and truly on the ropes..

From the wrapped up warm spectators, praying hope for economic and social miracles, to the pig ugly presidential limousine made by a company so steeped in imminent old skool paranoid tragedy, you could smell the gadgets popping...

It felt like Russia

Sure, there was whooping and cheering, and a shinny happy announcer, and panelist after panelist coming on to talk about the wonder and the beauty of the social revolution!!! - but from an astonishing televisual distance, the whole day seemed to be more deeply steeped in little more than paranoid desperation and cold future fear..

Yes boss, I realised as I watched, that the reason The US has turned to a Messiah like figure is because it needs one THAT BADLY!!

I realised that a country that seemed to be so on top things, so recently, now appears to be declining in love and money, so rapidly and hopelessly, it may be unrecognisable as a world power within our lifetimes...?!?!

And as the news anchors droned on like freezing and dull old fools about how Obama was going to still be a family man, and dine out in Washington, and pull the troops out of Iraq, and open new markets for US products, and practice bi-partisanship, and hold no grudges, and close Guantanamo Bay, and rescue the economy, and save the environment, and keep in touch with his roots, and restore Americas standing in the world, and sort out social ills, and fight crime, and SAVE AFRICA!!, and get a dog, and heal Washingtons racial divide, and spend time in Chicago, and give up smoking - I felt sorry for him...

Yes boss, Obama's come from nowhere, run into one of the biggest jobs on the planet, at a time of great need, and now has everyone wrapped around his little pinky...

But in the process of achieving all this, he's made the mistake of promising all things to all people (many of which are completely contradictory) - and now, amidst 2 wars and a depression, he has to perform the kind of miracles that Jesus himself would have had trouble with...

So today.

Great ambition, brave man and GOOD LUCK!!!

Is about all I have to say...

Currently reading:
The Dark Stuff: Selected Writings on Rock Music 1972-1993
By Nick Kent

PGC£ OF THE DAY NOS 39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49, 50

2009-02-18T01:44:00.000Z

Current mood:LEFT A BIT.....
Category: Art and Photography

Currently listening:
Ring My Bell
By Anita Ward
Release date: 2003-05-12

BRING OUT THE LIPSTICK!!!!

2009-02-17T01:35:00.001Z

Current mood:WEARY....

So...

it's only a day to go until Bush crawls under one, and the Messiah takes office and I'm dreading the transition far more than I thought possible...

Yes boss, soon, we're gonna have a 'cool hoop shooting' guy in the White House - the worlds biggest military empire is undergoing a PR job and anyone who doesn't subscribe is gonna be labeled a hope killing cunt....

'But Obama's so smart - HE'S REALLY GONNA CHANGE THINGS!!!!'

Yes, he's very very smart, he's a conservative dressed as a liberal, who's cleverly used colour and guile to engender himself with the top power job in the world..... !!

But as with so many supposed great leaders, the only thing that'll change under his rule will be perceptions and appearances - the fundamentals of life,death, money and power will remain largely the same:

People will still cheat, inspire, rob, hope and lie, they'll love, mate and hate - wars will start and others will finish...

Yes boss, like all who've come to power before him, Obama'll sort some HIGH PROFILE things good, and ruin others less obvious on the quiet..

And over time people'll realise he's just another raging ego maniac playing with the world...

Another Gandhi, Jesus, and Stalin, who promises it all, then leaves in a wooden box to eternal glory, or overstays his welcome and leaves in disgrace...

So as I've said before, if I had the choice, I'd rather have a dumb half witted hate worthy cunt in charge of an empire, than a smooth talking nice guy with a Blackberry (TM) and an organic bag of credibility..

Yes boss, by all means, give me hope - but please don't attach a politician....

Currently listening:
The Black President
By Fela Kuti
Release date: 2005-05-09

All the banks are bankrupt...

2009-02-17T01:34:00.004Z

Current mood:HA HA HA HAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

we live in truly beautiful times...!

Currently listening:
Blood Bank
By Bon Iver
Release date: 2009-01-19

THE BEST UK NO1 OF ALL TIME...???

2009-02-17T01:34:00.003Z

Current mood:IT'D NEVER HAPPEN IN 2009.....
Category: Music

Because it's sublime....

Because it's an instrumental....

Currently listening:
The Best Of Fleetwood Mac
By Fleetwood Mac
Release date: 1996-02-12

I was reading....

2009-02-17T01:34:00.001Z

Current mood:MAKING BREAD...
Category: Music

and stickering this weeks Roman Road Library copy of The NME and I came upon a Q&A with Brett Anderson formerly of Suede...

Yes boss, it was Bretts words of wisdom about how to go about a Rock 'N' Roll career...

Now, I'm always interested in peoples opinions about what it takes to become a rock star - especially the opinions of those who've either been there or been close.

So I read on with not an inconsiderable degree of enthusiasm, whilst simultaneously wondering whether Anderson was an important enough man to sticker...

And this multitasking, started me thinking about the idea of 'making it'

Yes boss, one thing Brett said was something to the effect of

'DON'T' EVER THINK YOU'VE MADE IT!!!'

And I know what he means - self congratulation is mostly the start of a fall, and it's definitely always best to think you're loosing even if you're winning 10-0...

But what is 'making it?'

When you're young and naive and you start thinking about trying to 'make it' at something unusual and tricky like music or writing, you have this idea in your head that one day you'll have this awakening when you'll know completely whether you have made it or not...!!!

But I find that as one progresses, it becomes very difficult to know what making it even is...?!?!

Take Anderson as an example...

Suede were a band, much like The Libertines or perhaps even The Stone Roses who had the startings of Rock 'N' Roll martyrdom, but never finished the job...

All 3 acts, put down the markers, released some promising material and then PISSED IT ALL UP THE WALL!!!!

Did they 'make it' or not???

Does showing promise making some good stuff and then blowing it perhaps even mean you 'made it' much better than glorious dimwits like Oasis who drone on like the traffic on a grey Wednesday??

Isn't it much more Rock 'N' Roll to fail???

And aren't all 3 of those bands far better than Oasis, even though they technically blew it???

Later this afternoon, I was chatting about the life and times of another hugely renowned, copied and adored musician, who didn't stay for what many would say was the full course..

Things got too much, his head exploded and since then he's kept and almost completely low profile...

But there's no doubt in my mind that Peter Green 'made it' even though he left Fleetwood Mac before Rumours was released, is considered by many to be the archetypal Rock 'N' Roll tragedy, and no-one much would recognise him in the street...

In personal terms - I have no real idea where I am on the PG£ success chart...

No boss, some days I feel like I've barely left the starting line and other days I know that I'm already so far ahead that NO-ONE CAN TOUCH ME!!!!

From some angles, my current position is an absolute triumph and from some angles an abject failure...

It all depends where you define that line...

Truth is genuine artistic and creative success is very difficult to know...

Some folks reputations grow and grow and grow, some climb - then in an instant fall, and some disappear almost before the lights have gone out...

All you can do is place your bets, and let history sort it out...

Currently listening:
The Best Of Fleetwood Mac
By Fleetwood Mac
Release date: 1996-02-12

And then there's....

2009-02-17T01:33:00.000Z

Current mood:GIMME A CHCKEN!!!!
Category: Music

The Radioactive Chicken Heads..?!?!?

Profile Views: 127482

Currently listening:
Back at the Chicken Shack
By Jimmy Smith
Release date: 1995-03-06

Unlikely pop stars....

2009-02-17T01:32:00.000Z

Current mood:PRO'S ONLY!!!!
Category: Music

One of the great things about myspace is anyone can have a go, and if you're good and unrelenting at self promotion AND BELLIGERENT AS FUCK!!!! you, the most unlikely and peculiar of characters can gain themselves an audience...

798817 PROFILE VIEWS NO LESS!!!!

Yes boss, I never cease to be amazed by some of the wonderfully peculiar characters who ply their trade on this 'ere spazz...

Latent Anxiety is one such...

Now, is it me, or does the name of this act sound like a poor sketch shows piss take of Nine Inch Nails???

French & Saunders do ELECTRO METAL!!! STARRING RICKY GERVAIS!!!

The music is pretty close to that 'n all ...

Yes boss, combine the name, with the image, and videos like this in which mystery cloud moustaches whisp across Latents face, whilst his security guard perves the lovely lady, and you've either got inclusivity GONE MAD!!! or a very beautiful thing...

I can't decide which???

Currently listening:
Perception
By Latent Anxiety
Release date: 2005-11-29

WRAP UP WARM!!!!

2009-01-24T23:08:00.002Z

Current mood:VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Today, I had to go and pick up a computer from Southend..

Southend is out on the coast about 40 miles from Fish Island.

Southend had a Pier (which burnt down a year or so ago)

Other than that, there's not much there, other than a bunch of amusement arcades and some low grade seafrontage...

Prior to today, I'd only ever been there once before to meet some drum 'n' bass djays about 5 years ago. That evening ended up with one of the MCs trawling the streets looking for junkies to score from - I followed and watched him..

But that's another story...

So, today, I was figuring that the train was a bit pricey, and that I'd be better off riding Mrs Gs Piaggio scooter there and back..

Yes boss, looking on the map, the route looked simple - if a little BIG AND FAST for a scooter with a purported top speed of 30mph...

But, I always like to know what's possible, and having got very used to nipping around and about London on the Piaggio, I figured the next logical step was to take it further afield and see what it's capabilities were in terms of distance..

I got going at about 2pm, got down onto the A13 and started gunning along..

I was pleased to see 40-45 mph could be squeezed out of the Piaggio and the first 15 miles was all good fun - I was keeping good pace with the 2 to 3 lanes of heavy traffic and didn't feel out of place or intimidated...

But at about mile 16, this started to change..

Yes boss, once you get more or less clear of London proper, and into the hinterlands of Dagenham, the A13 is basically a FUCKING MOTORWAY!!!

The average speed of the traffic ups from 40-50mph to about 60-80mph

And there I was pootling along pushing 45mph on the downhills IF I WAS LUCKY...!!! (the Piaggio sounding like it might explode)

Meanwhile, the cars were going

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

AND THE LORRIES WERE COMPLETELY FUCKING TERRIFYING!!!!

To make matters worse, it was at about mile 17 that it started raining...

Yes boss, just as I was feeling like I might be asking a little too much of the Piaggio, and my own powers of calm control, THE FUCKING RAIN CAME SQUALLING IN FROM THE THAMES LIKE A LAZY APOCALYPSE!!!!

Within 10 minutes I was TOTALLY wet, and within 20 the numbness was setting in...

Fingers, hands, then legs, balls and face...

I kept going, passing Purfleet and Thurrock where just under a year ago, I met up with Gimpo and Positive Void to take part in the M25 25 Hour Spin..

Then past Basildon, where 2 years ago I spent 3 days watching strippers for money, during the making of a HIGH CLASS!!! film called Night Junkies

Meantime, all around, the cars went

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

2 hours after I'd started, I got to Southend, COLD, NUMB and slightly exhilarated....

I picked up the computer, put it inside 4 carrier bags, topped up the fuel and immediately drove back down the alternative A172 in the dark...

That first 20 miles back Londonwards was like being in a cold tunnel coma.

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

The road was quicker, with no respite or breakup of the 70mph traffic for 20 miles..

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!vVVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

But, I felt an uneasy sense of calm control as the cars passed, leaving me well behind

VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!VVVRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

You can only hold on TIGHT!!! and hope you make it home...

And 182kms and 5 hours after leaving it, I did...

Currently listening:
The Acoustic Motorbike
By Luka Bloom
Release date: 1992-01-20

MYSPACE FACTS NO2

2009-01-24T23:08:00.001Z

Current mood:YOU SICK FUCK!!!!!
Category: MySpace

Currently listening:
HERE COME THE FLEECE GEESE [VINYL]
By Billy Childish
Release date: 2004-01-01

So, here we go with my latest picks...

2009-01-24T23:07:00.000Z

Current mood:STOP TALKING START LISTENING...!!
Category: Music

The joy of Prince Charming, is that he's difficult to pin into a category...

There's hints of dub, electronica, hip hop, dubstep, afrobeat, and soundtracks but no one clear genre defined sound...

Mixing like this, without sounding either contrived or overly experimental and clever is very refreshing...

The pleasure with Flashbulb was similar...

This act started as pretty normal, uninspiring electronica - nothing that new or different...

I was set to click

'NEXT!!!!'

Then I got into the wierd muzak of Interior SD - reminiscent of later Orbital, after which things went a little more melodic chaotic with Passage D ..

I liked not quite knowing what was coming next..

Free The Robots are the very first band (top friends aside) on my friends list - which is odd because I was expecting such an honour to go to some godawful metal or indie band who've been going for 30 years WITH ZERO SUCCESS!!!!

Anyway, FTR make fun and clever electronica and could be very poppy if the pop charts weren't some horrendous cabal run by men who think music is all about pork pie margins and light fittings....

The Bearded Lady Theme is pure wonder...

And the rest is just as good..

Moving on...

I was watching a program about Scottish history this last Saturday..

Now, I have to be honest and say I've only ever seen the Scots complaints against the English as being due to them being bad losers..

Yes boss, you get all this righteous moral nationalism from our Northern friends, but the long and the short of their problem is that back in the Middle Aged day we were more horrendously vicious than they were (AND MAKE NO MISTAKE THEY WERE HORRIBLE AND VICIOUS BASTARDS THEMSELVES!!!) - we therefore won the struggles and they lost, and ever since they've been whining about it...

Yes boss, one thing I've never understood is why dull flag waving nationalism is allowed if you're on the loosing side..

It's either all bad - or all good...

Anyway, this program did nothing to convince me that the Scotch are a morally and intellectually superior race, but one new thing I did learn was that even when they were allied with the French they still couldn't whip the English ass - which says a hell of a lot for our vicious brutal violent abilities...

Yes boss, why do you think that every time there's a war on, us English are always the first ones with our hands up shouting

'ME ME ME!!!! I WANT TO PLAY!!!!'

BECAUSE US ENGLISH LOVE FIGHTING!!!!

Anyway, anyway, anyway...

This next act is French, they're called Michel Fourcade And Ze Princess - it's all about harmonies and the voice and bits of covers, and I love 'em...

OLE!!!!!

Currently listening:
Flexing Habitual
By The Flashbulb
Release date: 2007-04-16

THE NEW OLD IDEA!!!

2009-01-23T01:28:00.001Z

Current mood:EGO IS OVER.....
Category: Music

Well...

I think I've about peaked on the indulgence irrelevant ego works with that lost pair of shots of my daughters shit on ma leg...

So I'm about to return to blog basics...

Yes boss, just when I thought I was done with music writing for good - I'M BACK TO IT!!!

So, coming up these next few weeks:

Loadsa myspazz reviews as I dive into my 23,000 friends AND START TO SEPARATE THE WHEAT FROM THE WHEAT BEER!!!!

The latest Collosus installment...

A number of Q&As..

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!

LIKE THIS.....

Currently listening:
Rid Of Me
By PJ Harvey
Release date: 2003-08-25

EMMA GRACE 1 - PAUL 'PIOUS NOSTRADAMUS' JAMES DEMAN GIOVANNI £RD 0

2009-01-23T01:27:00.002Z

Current mood:ON THIS OCCASION MY PSYCHIC POWERS FAILED ME......
Category: Life

Currently listening:
Expensive Shit/He Miss Road
By Fela Kuti
Release date: 2002-09-30

The Process Of Weeding Out....

2009-01-23T01:27:00.001Z

Current mood:DON'T FUCK WITH MY LAWYER!!!
Category: Music

One thing that I try to avoid is getting upset about getting ripped off...

Yes boss, I see getting ripped off as being par for the course when working in any kind of creative field - if you're any good you're gonna be ripped off, and copied, there's no point getting upset about it...

Furthermore, I love unofficial products, bootlegs, copies - the poorer quality the better...

I'm reminded of this through watching this vid

It's about how to light portrait photogrphs, and in it Ken Henderson claims he designed this iconic Queen photo

Now, this image is probably one of the most iconic pop music images of the last 50 years....

Yes boss, it was made into the first pop video of all time, made to accompany one of the most well known pop songs of all time and - if the photogrpaher knew art business - EXTREMELY LUCRATIVE!!!

So, if Ken Henderson did design it (and I believe he might have) and if he could have proved it was his original design and idea, he wouldn't be shuffling reluctant models like Celia around infront of an audience for drinks at the bar, so much as shifting his enormous wedge of cash around various top resorts in the company of Kelly, Katie and Kristi...

But then I get the impression that if Ken really had the wherewithall he could have at least nailed EMI for and out of court settlement - and if he'd really had the drive and ambition he could have nailed himself down as one of the greatest pop photogrpahers of all time on the back of it...!!!

But where's the fun in spending all that time with your lawyers you might ask???

There's none, but it is my understanding that the thing which really separates the creatively 'successful' from the amateurs and the wannabes isn't talent or skill or craftsmanship so much as luck, ruthlessness, and A BURNING AND INSATIABLE AMBITION!!!!

Sure the cool cats like Kurt Cobain, Billy Childish and Charles Bukowski hide it well and even convince their fans they couldn't care less about being famous or successful or known or adored...

But they're lying...

Currently listening:
Live '84 [CASSETTE]
By Black Flag
Release date: 1998-01-20

GOTTA HAVE A J.O.B....

2009-01-23T01:26:00.000Z

Current mood:POUR ON WATER POUR ON WATER!!!
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I'm applying for jobs at the moment..

Yes boss, with heavy start up investment going into the PG£ trading arm, and the temporary lack of income to Mrs Gs end, I'm needing a little extra liquidity - I'm therefore applying for regular Part Time Work..

But why can't you get paid for your writing???

BECAUSE THE PUBLISHING BUSINESS IS RETARDED!!!! AND BECAUSE I'M INCAPABLE OF PLAYING THE GAME!!!!

Anyway, when I apply for regular NON-MEDIA jobs, I always expect to have my hand bitten off...!!

Yes boss, whether I actually want the job or not, I go into interviews and/or application forms with a complete feeling of certainty THAT THERE COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE ANYONE BETTER SUITED TO THE POSITION THAN I AM!!!

I am of course right - but employers don't often notice this fact..

No boss, last summer, I was sent along to an interview for a Full Time Position working for a Fire Extinguishing Company in Shoreditch...

The situation had all the hall marks of a done deal.

Having been very slugish for some months, my job advisor from the privatised job center had set the interview up - she knew the guy who was to interview me (SHE'D SET HIM UP FOR HIS JOB!!!)

This made her CERTAIN I was the best candidate by a country mile..!

'Take the bangle and the shades off and THE JOB'S YOURS!!!' she said...

Well, the interview started perfectly - I kept the bangle on, and the shades on the top of my head, but I was talking my way INTO THE JOB!!!!

Yes boss, I told them I could do everything they wanted me to do!!!

I told them I was more than qualified, THAT I LOVED WORKING ON MY OWN INITIATIVE!!!!

I told them that fire extinguishing sounded like a very safe regular job to be working in, especially in these uncertain times...!

YES BOSS, IT WAS CLEAR IN MY MIND THAT I WAS GOING TO BE EMPLOYED TO PUT OUT FIRES IN SHOREDITCH!!!!

That was, until I took the computer tests..

Yes boss, the funny thing about my computer knowledge is it completely stems from my own use of computers as opposed to any kind of broad and sensible training.

Basically, if I need to know it, I know it, and if I don't I don't...

There are therefore gaps in my basic knowledge that most 8 year olds don't have and wedges of quite useless knowledge that most 50 year old programmers will never have....

Well, one such gap I have, is in using Microsoft Excel and databases in general....

Yes boss, I've never used Excel to any great extent because databases bore the shit out of me, and every time I've needed them in the past I've always known other people who've covered that angle on my behalf..

And therein lay the problem - the extinguisher people gave me some maths to do using Excel and I couldn't do it that way to save my life...?!?!

No boss, I tried to work it out, but couldn't in the time allotted, so instead I wrote the maths in the margin and told them that if they showed me the way in Excel it'd take me about a minute to pick up and memorise...

I EVEN VOLUNTEERED TO GO IN AHEAD OF THE START OF MY CONTRACT FOR FREE TO GET CUSHTY WITH IT ALL!!!

But apparently that wasn't enough and I didn't get the job...

Oh well, life goes on...

Currently listening:
Electric Arguments [VINYL]
By The Fireman (Paul McCartney and Youth)
Release date: 2008-12-15

I bought a new model fish on ebay from a fellow fish enthusiast...

2009-01-21T23:27:00.001Z

Current mood:FISH MARKET
Category: Pets and Animals

Dear Paul,

Thank you for buying the fish ornament. This is now winging its way (or should I say swimming its way!) to you and should be with you fairly soon. I will send good feedback for you once I get feedback from you and know that you are happy with your purchase. Please let me know if there are any problems.

I am very intrigued by your address and its "fishy" connections. Is it an eating place or was this the site of an old fish market?

Best wishes from Valerie.

Currently listening:
Shaved Fish
By John Lennon
Release date: 1987-12-07

Silly £$£$$£$£ Season

2009-01-21T23:26:00.003Z

Current mood:SELL SELL!!!
Category: News and Politics

January is Silly News Season...

And this January is probably the silliest yet...

Yes boss, in the last few days, front page stories in UK papers have included the apparent aftermath of a UFO collision with a wind turbine, the news that a loner died in his own labyrinth of tunnels of rubbish and details of how one street in Gateshead hosts 69 members of the same family (in rural Italy this wouldn't be anything other than normal...)

Add onto this, all the financial apocalypse doom and gloom and one could be forgiven for thinking 2009 might in fact be the dawning of some kind of a chaos watershed..

Yes boss, since I was very young, I've been reading of the inevitable death of capitalism and the end of money...

Of course I used to only read such tripe in lowly read publications like Green Anarchist and Do Or Die!! & Class War!

But now allegedly 'esteemed' and well read publications like the Daily Telegraph and the Daily Mail are full of such 'news' as if it's always been indisputable scientific fact

It's truly wierd...

Just check this collection of gloom from the kind of people who as little as 6 months ago wouldn't have been anything other than died in the wool money men..

Germany is already collapsing

Britain and California are going bankrupt ?

Willem Buiter warns of massive dollar collapse

US will emerge as undisputed top dog in 2009

Next the mainstream intelligentsia will be telling us the world is in fact flat....

PGC£ OF THE DAY NOS 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

2009-01-21T23:26:00.001Z

Current mood:GRUNT!!!!
Category: Art and Photography

Currently listening:
Forget the World
By The Hippos
Release date: 1998-03-17

SUPER BIG THANKS....!!!)

2009-01-21T23:25:00.001Z

Current mood:ME ME ME!!!!
Category: Art and Photography

to everyone who's volunteered to model...!)

I have a whole bunch of shoots half and completely arranged, and am super excited about this latest distraction FROM GETTING ON WITH BECOMING AN ACCLAIMED AND VITAL WRITER!!!!

Booked up as the PG£ (Nostradamus) photographic arm now is, I am of course always greedy - so if anyone else wants to get in on the photo action, PLEASE DO GET IN TOUCH!!!

I have a stunning tri-driectional full daylight (5400k) lighting rig, ready and waiting to take your vanity to the next level..!!!

Oh, and if any of you are getting married LET ME TAKE THE PHOTOS!!!!

I promise not to make your men do the 'Reservoir Dogs Shot', and I will not charge you £4000!!

As for the rest of the Fish Island action...

The In-Laws have now left..

Yes boss, to say I was struggling towards the end of their 3 week stay would be an understatement - but I just about got away with keeping myself contained and repressed..

It was nothing personal..

I've simply become very intolerant of having people around the house when I'm trying to get on with things AND adjust to having a child...

Of course, one learns a vast amount about oneself when the pitter of tiny child feet rage at the slow speed of their BURPS..!!

And one such thing I've begun to appreciate, is JUST HOW TRULY AND ABSOLUTELY SELF INDULGENT I AM..!?!?!?

Yes boss, I knew it was bad - BUT THIS BAD???

FUCK!!!!

Anyway, I've got lots of pictures coming up and very few words, so if you want to read things search the PG£ archive or GO BUY A BOOK!!!!

Until later...

Currently listening:
Cimbalom’s Paganini
By Oszkar Okros
Release date: 2002-05-21

So what about Gazza????

2009-01-21T23:24:00.000Z

Current mood:WAR IS OVER WHEN YOU STOP PRAISING WAR HEROES!!!
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Honestly???

I have no fucking idea why an English footballer is on the receiving end of a vicious heavily militarized attack from a nuclear armed state...?!?

But seriously...

As I understand it, the Israelis believe they have an entitlement to some land and the Palestinians disagree VERY STRONGLY INDEED!!!

Both sides are absolutely pigheaded in the way they deal with the matter, so they live in an almost continual state of war, and occasionally it flares up and then it flares down again...

I suppose you have to wonder about the leadership on both sides, and you have to wonder why Hamas got elected, and you have to think that nothing short of leveling the whole fucking joint will start things afresh...

Or as an old friend of mine once told me:

'There's nothing that can be done about that one - it's deep in the rocks'

I'd imagine, the 'Disaster Porn' has been appalling cynical 'MORE VIOLENCE AT 11!!! NOW SPORT!!' - but I haven't seen much of it..

I did however notice the BBC has been digging out old dead comedians like Alexei Sayle & Paul Kaye to pontificate about how badly the Israelis are behaving.

Kaye and Sayle are probably right in their pontifications, but I think they should concentrate on their day jobs

I MEAN WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY DESERVING OF SUCH WEIGHTY OPINIATION?!?!?

GO BACK TO TELLING JOKES AND MAKE US ALL FEEL BETTER WHY DON'T YOU?!?!?!

The world response to this flare up has been interesting..

The massed throwing of shoes at Downing Street was a masterstroke!!

And the initial timing of the Israelis was it's usually media savvy best...

However, perhaps THE most striking thing in the political response thus far, has been President 'Changes' silence on the matter...

Yes boss, Prince Obama is keeping very quiet on this one.

The word is he doesn't believe in there being 2 Presidents at once and he's therefore keeping stumm until his time comes...

He hasn't however kept picolo about the Credit Lunch or the Indian Massacres, or the bailout of the Big Car Companies, which makes me think he has nothing new or different to say than Bush...

VIVA CHANGE!!!???

Currently listening:
The Military Band: Salute to the Services
By Francis Saltus Van Boskerek
Release date: 1998-06-02

CALL FOR MODELS..........!!

2009-01-20T00:49:00.001Z

Current mood:SNAP SNAP SNAP!!!
Category: Life

I want 4 or more models for this next week for photos for my portfolio..

Male & Female all ages, shapes and sizes for outdoor and indoor shots...

There'll be nothing dirty, naked or even vaguely porn wierd - unless that's what you want to do, in which case I'd imagine it can be accommodated...

I'm probably looking at the weekend or early next week, depending on when I have all the gear assembled and when you're available...

All shots will take place around and about London for at least a half a day at a time...

YOU MUST HAVE THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT!!!

I'll provide a CD of all shots, and you will of couse be able to use the shots as you please..

If any of you fancy that let me know and I'll arrange times and places...

Currently listening:
The Camera Never Lies
By Michael Franks
Release date: 1990-10-25

PGC£ OF THE DAY NOS 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29 & 30

2009-01-20T00:48:00.002Z

Current mood:MORE LIGHT ANTICS....
Category: Art and Photography

The Making Of Casa Hasa Giovanna 12 Pt 2

2009-01-20T00:48:00.001Z

Current mood:BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!
Category: Music

The Making of Casa Hasa Giovanna Episode 12 Pt2

Here we go with another 'Behind The Scenes' extract from the construction period of Casa Hasa Giovanna 12

It starts with me, Nostradamus James Giovanni £rd, talking to the tape recorder, about the qualities of the tape recorder I'm talking too - and finishes with some truly FRENETIC ACTION!!!!

ENJOY!!!!

AND REMEMBER, YOU MUST NEVER EVER CALL ME LAZY!!!!

PG£ SNUBBED BY THE SPIRITUALS!!!!

2009-01-20T00:47:00.002Z

Current mood:HOLIER THAN THOU!!!!
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Well....

I'm still adding spazzing friends at a rate of knots..

Yes boss, my plan is to get to the magical 23,000 figure - at which point I'll stop adding and start the careful and precious process of deleting all the appalling bands and musical acts that have slipped through the recruiting drive net....

Of course acquiring friends here isn't half as easy as it used to be back in the good old days, when Arsebook was merely a glint in the CIAs eye, and myspace was everyones favourite plaything - but I still get enough people joining up...

Some do however turn me down - and some folks even go to the trouble of telling me why

Hi,

I have looked at your page, and I'm not sure why you are interested in becoming a friend of spirit quake books. Our focus is books, readers and writers that seek to make difference--to shift conciousness in a good way.
Respectfully--I didn't see much that indicated that spirituality, making a difference, etc was your interest or focus of your blog.

If I'm missing something here--please let me know. We do want to keep the focus of our page as intended. I am open to being corrected and enlightened.

Thanks,

Page Manager

Spirit Quake Books...

I tried sending the response

'You're definitely missing something...'

But the page doesn't allow messages from non-friends?!?

That boss - is far from HOLY?!?!?!?

As is their refusal to by my friend...

I mean, do they not realise who I am???

Have they not noticed that I predicted the current Financial Crisis in Episode 8 of Casa Hasa Giovanna??!?!?!?

Or that I predicted that Alan McGee should leave the music business is Episode 7!!

(PG£ 'I don't know why he bothers...?'

Then a coupla months later

Alan McGee, who founded the Creation record label, signed Oasis and went on to manage bands including The Libertines and The Charlatans, has said he has quit the music business.)

GODDAMMIT I'M THE NOSTRADUMUS OF MYSPACE!!!

AND THESE SPIRITUAL CUNTS DON'T WANT TO KNOW ME?!?!?

HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?????

Currently listening:
Journey to Spiritual Awakening: Meditations to Awaken the Divine Heart Within
By Vicky Thompson
Release date: 2003-10-21

THE YEAR OF THE FLYING PIG!!!

2009-01-20T00:47:00.001Z

Current mood:HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Category: Life

Yes boss, this is it...

2009 is OFFICIALLY the year of the Flying Pig!!!

For me POOPY PIOUS G, this means unparalleled success and UNIMAGINABLE GLORY!!!

Worldwise, it means more PREMIUM bankruptcies that'll send you running for the money brollies...!!

Shit, if we're lucky, we might return to an era of public floggings, and regular and indiscriminate civil unrest...

(Did I mention I predicted the economic chaos of September onwards in Episode 8 of CHG 8??? - Go back and listen to it again - everything you needed to know about what was coming (Lehman Brothers, collapse and Gordon Brown being dumped in the STUMMM by his old boss in particular) was in tracks 12,13&14 more than a month before it all happened in the real world)

I'M THE NOSTRADUMS OF MYSPACE!!!

And talking of floggings...

Episode 13 of Casa Hasa Giovanna went down appallingly badly....

Yes boss, it received a big fat 12 listens (most of them VERY short ones) inside the first 2 days?!?!

Now, this could be because CHG 13 is about the most boring recording since 'Standing On the Shoulders Of Giants' or it could be because you were all sitting up listening for santa RATHER THAN LISTENING TO MY WORK!!!! - I guess time will tell...

Oh, and in case you're wondering just how I hard I work on these wonderful CHGs, here's some rare 'behind the scenes' footage taken during the making of CHG 12...

ONE THINGS FOR SURE - YOU CAN'T EVER CALL PAUL PIOUS NOSTRADAMUS JAMES DEMAN GIOVANNI £RD LAZY!!!!

The Making of Casa Hasa Giovanna Episode 12

Currently listening:
[LP Record] Touch Typing Made Simple - A Sound Teaching Method
By Touch Typing

What’s happening on the Island...??

2009-01-14T00:28:00.001Z

Current mood:SSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!
Category: Life

The in-laws are still here (and will be for another week, 17 hours, 23 minutes and 69 seconds), which combined with xmas, new born Emma and my rampant commercialism has a lot to do with the lack of words...

Yes boss, privacy is in very short supply here in the fort, so I'm storing up essays in my head (or maybe even a nice and SAFE middle class book about the travails of living with ones parents in law who don't speak ones own language...)

Of course, taken at face, that all sounds awful, but it's not a bad lot..

No boss, in the day times, clad in a huge padded down jacket and Diadora deerstalker, Mrs G's father goes out stamping the grounds of the Island armed only with a compass..

He uses the tall buildings as navigable points, and returns with stories of the local slaughterhouse inviting him inside to watch chicken slaughter (at least he thinks they invited him in - but like I say he speaks no English)

I find that going out walking or shopping with Mr G senior, is a little like going out with Crocodile Dundee..

His head is still very much in mountainous rural Italy, and I regularly look back to find him standing and starring intently (and with no disguise) at some anti-social behaviour or another, in a way that Londoners don't tend to do, for fear of getting stabbed...

Yes boss, there he'll be - all solid packed 5' 2" of him - starring the naughty boys out, then turning to me wearing a very serious face and saying

'NON BENE!!!'

I nod nervously, smile and suggest we walk on...

Mrs G meantime hasn't left the house now for almost 2 weeks, and her mother has only been out for one brief passagata in the same time..

Between them, they're doing most of the day to day baby work, and they like to sleep with the door open (so I have to type very very quietly)

So, the lack of current vacant headspace here on Fish Island means that rather than getting drunk AND HAMMERING AWAY ETERNAL AND IMPORTANT WRITTEN WORKS!!!! I'm mostly concentrating on building computers, stocking the shop and catching up with reading....

The reading I'm mostly concentrated on, is Tony O'Neills book 'Down and Out On Murder Mile' as sent for review by my one and only publishing friend Laura..

Now, before reading books by bright spunky published things, I often worry...

Yes boss, there's nothing worse than feeling you're right on the brink of setting yourself on the path to greatness, only to come upon some lucky golden child, who makes your words seem like limp daffs in Morrisseys back pocket..

Well, in this case, I'm pleased to say I'm not worried...

No boss, the much vaunted O'Neill is only doing Bukowskiesque writing about a Burroughsesque life...

It's OK, and not uninteresting in its content, but I find his work lacks vital spark, anger, verve and edge - and it's about 30 years late in it's style and subject matter to be anything approaching important.....

When not studying O'Neill, COUCHY COOING!!!! the baby, completely revamping my pazzy spazz profile, or internally screaming at machines, I'm mainly doing sharp business over in the shop area of www.paulgiovanni.com...

Yes boss, the OPENING CLOSING DOWN SALE!!! has started very well indeed (even though the shelves are still barely stocked with a fifteenth of what's to come..!!!)

Today I posted an order to some Parasian Emi employee, who took a big old whack of very cheap high quality art for a remarkably good £77 ...

Yes boss, Emi might themselves be a dead duck floating, but this man clearly knows value and worth when he see's it, and immediately family aside, men and women with both credible Giovan-taste AND money are currently my very best friends....!!))

Until later....

PG£

Currently reading:
Down and Out on Murder Mile: A Novel (P.S.)
By Tony O’neill
Release date: 2008-10-28

Let’s celebrate the commencement of the last 23 days of Erronemouse Bush....

2009-01-14T00:27:00.003Z

Current mood:WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!
Category: News and Politics

with an overview of Georgie B's greatest political accomplishments....

Currently listening:
God Save America
By Jerry Falwell
Release date: 1998-04-28

VIVA DEMOCRACY!!!

2009-01-14T00:27:00.001Z

Current mood:PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!!
Category: News and Politics

Muntadar al-Zeidi stands accused of "aggression against a foreign head of state during an official visit," an offence that carries a prison term of between five and 15 years under Iraqi law.

But the court could convict him of the lesser charge of an "attempted aggression" which carries a prison term of one to five years.

Mr Zeidi, 29, became a hero to many when he threw his shoes at Bush during the US president's surprise visit to Iraq on Dec 14, an action considered a grave insult in the Arab world.

His lawyer had asked that the case be transferred from the central criminal court, which handles terrorism cases, to an ordinary tribunal but the judge refused.

Mr Kenani confirmed that Mr Zeidi's lawyer had lodged a complaint over his treatment in custody and that a letter would be sent to the office of Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki in order to bring them to justice.

One of Mr Zeidi's brothers, Uday, said that he had been able to visit him in custody for the first time on Sunday and charged that the journalist had been tortured by his captors.

"I met my brother for around an hour. He has been tortured while in detention for 36 hours continuously. He has been hit with iron rods and cables," the brother said.

"There is very severe bleeding in his eye, and he has bruises on his feet and nose, and he was also tortured with electric shocks.

JUMP YOU FUCKER JUMP!!!!

2009-01-12T01:20:00.003Z

Current mood:DON’T BE A FOOL!!!!
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Currently listening:
Frosty The Snowman
By International Children
Release date: 1990-10-11

PGC£ OF THE DAY NOS 13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22

2009-01-12T01:20:00.001Z

Current mood:FESTIVE!!!!
Category: Art and Photography

Currently listening:
The Very Best of Frank Sinatra
By Frank Sinatra
Release date: 1997-06-10

CHRISTMAS CHEER!!!!

2009-01-12T01:19:00.001Z

Current mood:PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
Category: Music

So....

I have the in-laws staying here at Fort Giovanna

Yes boss, IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!

And as we were about to sit down for the catholic press xmas fish supper, I decided it was time we ramped up the FULL ON XMAS ACTION!!!!!

'How about some Christmas music???' I said cheerfully...

'YES!!' Mrs Giovanni said

Now, Mrs Giovanni loves Christmas, so I thought I was doing the right thing..

But, it was only as I was browsing my records I remembered I'd cleared out all my xmas records at some point during the last year.

Yes boss, this year (or maybe even 2007) I decided I was no longer going to make an Xmas novelty Number 1 - at least not one that directly related to Xmas: sleigh bells jingling HO HO HO!!!.

It was therefore a long browse before I found something I figured appropriate...

Chirstmas Music From Guildford Cathedral (Guildford Cathedral Choir Pro Arte Orchestra (Conductor: Barry Rose) (John Barrow (Baritone))

YES!!!

CHRISTMAS HYMN SINGING!!!!

PERFETTO!!!

So, I put the record on, and we sat down for salmon in thyme and lemon and salad and sweet potatoes..

And the solemn and serious hymn singing from some gloomy new old cathedral drifted in and slowly sat on things...

Now, I don't know if it was catholic guilt over missed church attendance, or the general gloomy deep character of the music, but the music didn't seem to be working at all well...

'What is this???' Mrs Giovanni eventaully asked in her 'couldn't keep quiet if she were a jew hiding in a cupboard and the nazis were searching the flat' kind of way.

'It's Christmas music...' I said

'It's awful' Mrs Giovanni replied

'BUT THIS IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT!!!'

'I WANT JINGLE BELLS!!!' Mrs Giovanni said 'WHY DON'T YOU PLAY JINGLE BELLS!!!'

'I DON'T HAVE JINGLE BELLS!!!'

There was whispering, and 'Can you change it??' and 'It's too loud - you'll wake the baby...' and, I quickly realised I was enjoying this unexpected bit of passive aggressive musical oppression VERY MUCH INDEED!!!

Yes boss, the longer it went on, the more tense and awkward things got, and though I adore them all, I was loving the fact I'd achieved completely opposite goals to those I'd intended!!!

Of course after a while, the music itself began to tax my patients as well, but the sheer cheeky joy of the gloomy xmas not happy clappy religious BUY BUY BUY IN OUR STORES TODAY music meant the disc ran until it finished...

HO HO HO!!!

ROCK 'N ROLL!!!

STICK IT TO THE MAN!!!

and all that...

Currently listening:
Roaring the Gospel
By James Yorkston
Release date: 2007-06-25

CASA HASA GIOVANNA ::: EPISODE 13 - WAITING....

2009-01-09T00:51:00.001Z

Current mood: Sorry I’m late......
Category: Sorry I’m late...... Jobs, Work, Careers

THIS MONTHS CASA HASA GIOVANNA IS GONNNA BE....

2009-01-09T00:50:00.003Z

Current mood: WAITING......
Category: WAITING...... Music

OFFICIALLY 23 MINUTES LATE....

TO PREPARE FOR IT'S ARRIVAL PLEASE CLICK HERE....

HERE SHE COMES!!

2009-01-09T00:50:00.001Z

Current mood: LOV E LOV E LOV E!!!
Category: LOV E LOV E LOV E!!! Life

Emma Grace : Born 18th December 2008 @ 9.57pm
3,520g

It’s all in the gills Pt4

2009-01-02T18:23:00.001Z

Current mood: SWISH SWISH!!!
Category: SWISH SWISH!!! Jobs, Work, Careers

I paid the taxi, hoiked the food into the lift, into the flat...

And from then on it WAS ALL ON THE FISH PHOTO ACTION!!!!!!!

Tomorrow, I'll get on with the photoshop....

Currently listening :
Chipmunk & Fish
By Mr. Scruff
Release date: 1998-03-10

It’s all in the gills Pt3

2009-01-02T18:22:00.002Z

Current mood: OH YEAH!!!!
Category: OH YEAH!!!! Life

Well....

We bought the fish and some other stuff - then got a taxi home....

Currently listening :
Taxi 2
By One Shot
Release date: 2000-03-10

It’s all in the gills P21

2009-01-02T18:22:00.001Z

Current mood: FISH!!!!
Category: FISH!!!! Food and Restaurants

So...

I plonked the big beauty in the trolley WITHOUT DELAY!!!

and started taking hundreds of photos of it from ALL ANGLES!!!!

FISHY IN JAIL!!!!

FISHY DOOMED!!!

FISHY TRYING TO GET AWAY!!!

I then took pictures of Mrs Giovanni holding it...

And I then got Mrs G to take pictures of me holding THIS - MY NEW LOVE!!!!

.

IT WAS BRILLIANT!!!!

AND IT REALLY HELPED WITH DEALING WITH THE BOREDOM OF SUPERMARKETS!!!!

Currently listening :
Vigil in a Wilderness of Mirrors
By Fish
Release date: 1998-06-30

It’s all in the gills Pt1

2009-01-02T18:21:00.000Z

Current mood: SMELLS LIKE....
Category: SMELLS LIKE.... Food and Restaurants

So....

We went shopping to Sainsburys in Whitechapel in order to get in a large number of supplies to feed the in laws who are arriving from Italy tomorrow in order to aid the last weeks of pregnancy and the first weeks of childhood ...

Now, as you might have guessed, I have history with Sainsburys in Whitechapel...

Yes boss, apart form the fact I used to shop there every week, the first extras job I had in film was in a film called Cashback...

Originally made as a short film (which after being was somehow nominated for Best Short Film in the 2005 Oscars) Cashback is about the life and times of bored in their own lunchtime checkout staff at a Sainsburys supermarket - which was filmed in the now reconditioned Whietchapel Sainsburys...

My greatest moment in this film is when Michelle Ryan (THE BIONIC WOMAN!!) repestedly wrote her phone number on my hand....

Yes boss, to cut a long story short, the third day I did on that film was at Pinewood Studios and it was all about redoing and correcting the bodged scenes..

One such bodged scene comprised of the phone number writing, and because they didn't want to pay, or couldn't get the main actor on whose hands she was writing, they used the 'extra' with the nearest rearside similarity - which was me...

You can find the scene less a minute or so into this lovely montage..

YES BOSS, THE FIGURE ALL THOSE TEENAGE BOYS DREAM IS THEM (SHE'S GIVING ME HER NUMBER!!!!) IN THIS CLIP IS ME PAUL PIOUS JAMES DEMAN GIOVANNI £RD!!!!

(PS: This is the one and only time any coldplay music will feature on this blog...)

(HELL!!! If you're really anal, you can see another splash of my FIMLMIC ASS IN BETWEEN minutes 4.32 AND 4.32.3... I'm in A RED CAP IN THE BACKGROUND loitering next to THE ACTOR MOST RECENTLY KNOWN AS R WAYNE!!!)

But all of this has nothing to do with today...

No boss, today, I was walking around Sainsburys thinking about wine....

I checked the papers and noticed that Simon Cowell appeared to have created a family overnight with his ex Sinitta....

I then checked the bargain section...

And it was there that i fell in love....

Yes boss, I found a full Salmon for £7.00

Currently watching :
Cashback
Release date: 2007-07-24

PRONTO!!!!

2009-01-02T18:20:00.000Z

Current mood: CHEESE!!!!!
Category: CHEESE!!!!! Life

Since I've gotten this new camera, I've decided it's vital I TAKE IT WITH ME EVERYWHERE!!!!

Yes boss, I've become like a child in the week after Christmas, who ABSOLUTELY INSISTS ON NEVER LEAVING HIS FAVOURITE TOY BEHIND OR ELSE GOES INTO A BLOODY BIG STROP!!!!

Of course I am a large child, but I do think this is the only way to go with cameras - especially when you have a new one that you're feeling out...

Yes boss, when you're after serious shots you need to armed and ready AT ALL TIMES!!!

Good photos come from the most unlikely of places, and if you don't have the machine loaded and ready for action you harbor serious regrets...

Of course, Mrs Giovanni isn't so happy about me traipsing about with a camera around my neck here there and everywhere. But she's known me long enough to understand that criticism of such an idea is unlikely to lead to a change in direction on my part, so she's come to tolerate this....

Well, the other day I was in the corner shop buying travel, and the guy in the shop got very interested in my camera and started asking me to take his picture...

'Come on man!!' he was saying 'Take my picture - the poor shopkeeper...'

Well, I didn't want to start with, but he persisted in asking to the point where I felt I had no choice, so I took his BLOODY PICTURE!!!!!

His brother then started going on about how someone had once taken his picture for a calendar.

He rummaged about underneath the counter and pulled out a small calendar from 2002, and there he was Mr May, posing behind the shops counter with his eyes blacked out and some stupid piece of writing about how he was holding down the shitty day job...

Mr Shopkeeper said he wasn't happy about the text at all, and I didn't think the photo was much either...

Well, today, I was took the camera to the supermarket and exciting cunt that I am, in the next blog I'll tell you the story of what happened there...

Currently listening :
The Waiting
By The Waiting
Release date: 1997-03-11

MYSPACE FACTS NO1

2008-12-24T22:59:00.003Z

Current mood: DON’T BE SO FUCKING MEAN PECK!!!!
Category: DON’T BE SO FUCKING MEAN PECK!!!! Music

Currently listening :
Hollywood on Air
By Gregory Peck
Release date: 2006-06-09

PGC£ OF THE DAY NOS 9,10,11 & 12

2008-12-24T22:59:00.001Z

Current mood: MORE....
Category: MORE.... Art and Photography

Currently listening :
Terry Anderson and the Olympic Ass-Kickin Team
By Terry Anderson
Release date: 2006-04-11

FREE MUNTADAR!!!!

2008-12-24T22:58:00.000Z

Current mood: WOOF WOOF!!!!
Category: WOOF WOOF!!!! News and Politics

"This is a farewell kiss, you dog," he yelled in Arabic as he threw his shoes. "This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq."
Muntadar al-Zaidi

Thousands of Iraqis have demanded the release of a local TV reporter who threw his shoes at US President George W Bush at a Baghdad news conference.

Crowds gathered in Baghdad's Sadr City district, calling for "hero" Muntadar al-Zaidi to be freed from custody.

Officials at the Iraqi-owned TV station, al-Baghdadiya, called for the release of their journalist, saying he was exercising freedom of expression.

An Iraqi official was quoted by the Associated Press as saying that the journalist was being interrogated to determine whether anybody paid him to throw his shoes at President Bush.

(PG£: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!)

He was also being tested for alcohol and drugs, and his shoes were being held as evidence, said the official, speaking on condition of anonymity.

(PG£:HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!)

The Cairo-based al-Baghdadiya TV channel said Mr Zaidi should be freed because he had been exercising freedom of expression - something which the Americans had promised to Iraqis on the ousting of former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.

"Any measures against Muntadar will be considered the acts of a dictatorial regime," the firm said in a statement.

Currently listening :
Freedom Rock
By Various with original Artists

ANOTHER NEW HERO FOR US ALL!!!!

2008-12-23T22:08:00.001Z

Current mood: A MAN WITH SOLE!!!!
Category: A MAN WITH SOLE!!!! Goals, Plans, Hopes

Currently listening :
I Got Shoes
By Sweet Honey in Rock
Release date: 1994-04-12

EXPANDING ONTO LIAMS HEAD!!!!

2008-12-23T22:07:00.001Z

Current mood: STICKER ME GOOD!!!!
Category: STICKER ME GOOD!!!! Music

2009 is set to see a significant upturn in Giovan-activity and much of this will tale place away from the world of myspazz blogs...

Yes boss, I'm about satisfied enough with my new home over at www.paulgiovanni.com to be scaling down this spazzing operation. Sure there are still rough edges, and design disorders, but the basic structure is right, and the remaining detail will soon follow...

Of course, the great and best thing about the spazz for me, has been the ease of access to people - it's been a giovan-publicity tool par excellence, and a very good way to find excellent folk, readers, associates, and bands...

So, how to replace it???

Well, I figured the best way is to indulge in some real world OFFLINE advertising..

I've therefore bought 4 printers, a stackload of card and stickers, and have started work...

My first outreach project is codenamed

SPAMazine

This is how it works:

I go to lending libraries on the day or week of release of the music, sport and politics mags/papers armed with a few hundred PG£ stickers and mini attachment flyers...

I collect the copies of rags like Q, FourFourTwo The NME, Sight & Sound, Private Eye, The Economist...

I browse through them...

And I apply stickers and mini-attachment flyers as and where appropriate..

Like in place of Liam Gallaghers head

All over Coldplays tour advert

And in place of Damon Albarns heart

HEY PRESTO!!!

THE WORD SPREADS!!!!

Currently watching :
How to Get Ahead In Advertising
Release date: 2003-12-02

THE PG£ OPENING CLOSING DOWN SALE STARTS TODAY!!!!

2008-12-23T22:05:00.000Z

Current mood: £$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£
Category: £$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£ Fashion, Style, Shopping

OK!!!

I'VE GOT INTO MY FAVOURITE SHOP SUIT AND HAIRCUT IN ORDER TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE....

Yes boss, not to be outdone by the THE BIG STORES who are it seems all so close to the edge, they're discounting more or less everything B4 Xmas, I've decided to open my NEW PG£ SHOP with an OPENING CLOSING DOWN SALE!!!

The idea here is to open my PG£ ShOP as if it were closing...

By doing this I reckon I can avoid the recession and properly move the Giovanni Franchise into a new and more important financial realm..

Yes boss, the world of made up capitalism might well be stuttering like a 75 year old lawnmower that's never been serviced, but I reckon now's a great time TO OPEN UP A DOOMED ENTERPRISE!!!

When times get hard, it's time to open a shop!!!

SELL EVERYTHING!!!

NOW!!!!

No boss, the world doesn't need bank bailouts and tax relief - IT NEEDS OFFICIAL PG£ COMPOSTING WORMS!!! and a LIMITED EDITION OF 69 SAVE PAUL PIOUS JAMES DEMAN GIOVANNI £RD FRIDGE MAGNET!!!!!

YOU NEED TOP GRADE CDS, VINYL AND BOOKS!!!

THE WORLD NEEDS TOP GRADE LIMITED EDITION PG£ WRITINGS AND GREAT AND RARE ART!!!

ROLL UP ROLL UP!!!

EVERYTHING'S FOR SALE!!!!

BUY BUY BUY!!!!

So...

Most of the shelves are now up and running and my bored checkout assistants ARE JUST DESPERATE TO GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE TO THEIR MATES TO TAKE YOUR ORDERS!!!

Do pop along and take a browse of the early stock...

I'm gonna be listing 50 or more new items a day from now until it's all gone...

STICK THIS LINK IN YOUR FAVOURITES AND KEEP COMING BACK!!!!

HOORAY FOR THE PG£ OPENING CLOSING DOWN SALE!!!!

Currently listening :
More Than You Bargained For
By Hard Bargain
Release date: 2005-12-06

FEED THE MONKEYS!!!!

2008-12-22T18:10:00.003Z

Current mood: CALL BONO!!!!
Category: CALL BONO!!!! News and Politics

Currently listening :
Very Best of
By Placido Domingo
Release date: 2003-04-22

The State Of Things...

2008-12-22T18:10:00.001Z

Current mood: AMEN!!!
Category: AMEN!!! Life

Currently listening :
Fresco
By M People
Release date: 2006-10-30

PGC£ OF THE DAY NOS 6,7&8!!

2008-12-22T18:09:00.001Z

Current mood: MMMMMMMM
Category: MMMMMMMM Art and Photography

Currently listening :
We Are All in the Gutter But Some of Us Are Looking at...
By They Came From The Stars I Saw Them
Release date: 2008-06-23

Swimming with the fishes....

2008-12-22T18:08:00.000Z

Current mood: BRRUUUMMMMMM!!!!!!
Category: BRRUUUMMMMMM!!!!!! Life

This afternoon, I ran along to the Amuti and Aquarium Galleries...

I say ran along - I really mean spun along (and nearly off on one corner) on Mrs Giovannis Piaggio..

Yes boss, I've been out on the Motorscooter again, and if my enthusiasm for this mode of zippy transport continues, I might even get a license!!

So, the main thing of interest betwixt these 2 galleries today was a conversation between James Cauty & STOT21stCPlanB about what they might do with what's left of the art at the end of their clearnace and closing down sale...

Yes boss, The Aquarium is closing on December the 23rd at 3pm and until then they're having a FIRE SALE!!!

EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!

So, the ideas for disposal of the remaining unsold art included: incineration, and loading it all into a van, then driving it off a cliff...

Both of which are something akin to a crime...

Anyway..

I've been doing my best to make EVERYTHING GO into the PG£ archive as opposed to the furnace!!!

Yes boss, today I picked up a whole bunch of signed Billy Childish prints, a few more books, a Jimmy Cauty print and some stamps, a coupla woodcut test prints and a proper decent plate which illustrates my last blog perfectly...

(pictures to follow).

The sad truth is however, that I can't buy it all, I'd therefore advise anyone in London with any sense to run along and pick up some bargains QUICK!!! BEFORE THE ARTISTS FUCKING WELL DESTROY IT ALL!!!!

If you can't get there and rummage your way into alt.art heaven, don't fear...

No boss, you'll be able to buy what I've bought (at vastly inflated prices) at my opening closing down sale over in the new shop section on www.paulgiovanni.com...

As you'll see form the current stock levels, it's early days in this opening closing down sale, but before long my ENTIRE archive of more than 10,000 items will be available to buy online at (still) wickedly cheap and cheerful prices...

So, having dropped the art home (Mrs Giovanni was for once pleased to see something I'd spent the rent money on - though, she wasn't so pleased when I admitted the reason I couldn't find the motorbike key this afternoon was because it'd been sat there in the ignition of the bike for more than a week...), I then popped to the Cargo nightclub because some PR mailing list had said there was free food and drinks..

Now, in 2008 I'm not a fan of Cargo - or for that mater commercial nightclubs in general...

No boss, I've tried really hard to throw myself into a clubbing renaissance this last year or so, but the godsworn truth is that these places now bore me s e n s e l e s s..:

You can't smoke, the drinks have got all fucking fabulous, the glasses are plastic, the toilets are like swamps and boring looking people abound...

In essence the danger and fun has been taken out of the nightclub - or maybe I'm just getting old???

Whatever, tonights shindig was duller than a Wednesday in October, so I only stayed long enough to drink my 2 FREE regulation bottled beers, before repairing back to the fish fort to spend the remaining evening tackling the living room shelves...

Currently listening :
Bruckner: Symphony No. 8
Release date: 2001-11-03

Shrinking Money....

2008-12-15T00:17:00.004Z

Current mood: REALITY BITING
Category: REALITY BITING News and Politics

'The story is about a scorpion asking a frog
to carry him across a river. The frog is afraid of being stung, but the
scorpion reassures him that if it stung the frog, the frog would sink
and the scorpion would drown as well. The frog then agrees;
nevertheless, in mid-river, the scorpion stings him, dooming the two of
them. When asked why, the scorpion explains, 'I'm a scorpion; it's my
nature.'

High capitalism (as we know it) seems to be dying, but no-one much wants to recognise what exactly this means, or what comes next...

Here's the rub with the Credit Lunch...

The essential problem, is that, motivated by quick profits and bonuses, the banks have over lent MASSIVELY to stupid cunts like me, who take anything that's dangled in front of them without any serious care as to whether it can be paid back or not..

Eventually this has come home to roost.

The banks have lost money and have now gone into a serious bipolar reverse, deciding they don't want to lend to anyone apart from the heavily secure - i.e the kind of people who don't much need the money anyway...

This means no-one can get a mortgage unless they've got a HUGE deposit and a squeaky clean credit history - and no businesses are getting much credit except at rip off terms and conditions...

This is snaring up the economy and house prices are plummeting - not enough people can buy or sell, and people are loosing their jobs because the banks won't extend their lines of credit...

Everything is therefore frozen - and more and more people are starting to get cold...

So, in order to try and get the banks lending again and restore confidence in the system, the UK. and for that matter. world governments are lowering interest rates and bailing out (of all people) the banks....

The theory is this will stimulate our banking friends into a bout of charitable money lending to all and sundry...

Yes boss, the governments are then thinking that upon receipt of this charitable bank lending, we'll all then spend again like it's 1999 - which will create demand which will create jobs which will create an UPTURN!!!!

But the problem with the solution is this:

The whole start of this shrinkage was caused by people borrowing too much...

So, how can the answer be to MAKE US BORROW MORE?!?!?

Furthermore, this bailout strategy isn't even working as a plan, because the scorpions aren't passing these interest rate savings along - instead they're taking healthy portions of the savings for themselves, so as to repair their balance sheets, buy back the shares they've HAD to sell to the frogs in order to survive, regain their independence AND GET THOSE BONUSES FLOWING AGAIN ASAP!!!!

So, what this boils down to is that the scorpions have made a HUGE FUCKING PACKET!!!

They've then taken that away into their own personal pockets and Bahamanian Bank Accounts, where that money is staying...

Meantime, they've been bailed out by the idiot frogs, and thankless shits that they are, the scorpions now don't want to do anything other than invest in ROCK SOLID!! businesses - of which there are very few..

The scorpions feel absolutely no sense of responsibility or fault - THEY JUST WANT THE GOOD TIMES BACK!!!

And this is the problem we now have - the frogs of the world are treating our scorpion friends like they DO HAVE everyones best interests at heart and CAN'T WAIT to do us all favours - when in fact they couldn't care less......

NO BOSS, THEY DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!

As they see it, it's not their job - or in their nature - to care about individuals or society. It's their job to make money only - they are profit making companies, not social welfare foundations...

Yes boss, being a scorpion has never (in it's current form) and will never be about anything other than pure selfishness..

THAT IS AN OBVIOUS FUCKING FACT!!!

Obvious that is, to everyone who's ever dealt with bankers..

So, why is it that the only ones missing the trick are the governments of the world, who are persisting with the idea that bankers main motivation isn't to make BIG MONEY - but to help us all out.....?!?!?

Currently listening :
Disappeared
By Spring Heel Jack
Release date: 2000-07-24

BLUE LEATHER!!!!

2008-12-15T00:17:00.003Z

Current mood: WOOF
Category: WOOF Sports

It's the cycling off season, and as I start the sale of my cycling memorabilia stock, the pro teams are revving up on their training camps in readiness for the 2009 season...

Yes boss, it's set to be a SUPER year in cycling...!!!

The Giro D'Italia will be hotly contested by the best field in years, including the likes of Armstrong, Contador, Sastre, Basso, Cunego and maybe even Evans.

The centenary edition will start with a time trial in Venice, before moving on through the Prosecco region, over the Dolomites and Alps, through Milan b4 finishing in Rome for the first time in aroundabout 20 years...

With such a monumentous field and innovative parcours, it goes without saying that the first absurd thing the Giovannis will be attending too (come the Little Gs birthday) will be acquiring a baby passport, so as to enable the viewing of the first few stages of this epic race...

The Giro aside, the main team to watch all year will be the Kazakh squad, Astana...

Yes boss, Astana have so many top riders (Armstrong, Contador, Vinokourov, Leipheimer, Kloden, Popovych etc), the other big teams might as well not bother to try and win any of the major tours...

It's a remarkable turn around - Astana were persona non-grata last year after a spate of doping problems, but this year THEY'RE BACK BIG TIME!!! with a team (who've never taken drugs) that fields more or less everyone who's a serious contender and proven winner for the top awards...

They're the cycling equivalent of Barcelona + Real Madrid + Man Utd & Juventus rolled into one...?!?!?

Well, a great team, they might well prove to be, but one thing that's less dominating in the Astana set up is their team kit...

Yes boss, take a look at this picture of the team presentation....

Lance Armstrong is of course wearing is own ego LIVESTRONG yellow and black kit (as a 7 time Tour De France comeback winner can) (LOOK HE'S ALREADY STANDING IN THE MIDDLE!!! CONTADOR ALREADY HATES HIM!!!)...

But Contador and Kloden seem to be afflicted with a rather nasty lederhosen dark blue apron design...?!?!?

SO, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT????

IS IT A CLEVER ANTI DOPING DIVERSIONARY PROTOCOL STRATEGY???

OR JUST THE SEXY BLUE SKIRT PANTS WAY TO GET AHEAD????

PGC£ OF THE DAY NOS 2,3,4&5!!

2008-12-15T00:17:00.001Z

Current mood: CLICK!!!
Category: CLICK!!! Art and Photography

Currently listening :
Back to Basics
By Beenie Man
Release date: 2004-07-13

YOU GOTTA HAVE A J.O.B....

2008-12-15T00:16:00.003Z

Current mood: BANG IT!!!
Category: BANG IT!!! Jobs, Work, Careers

'I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. People are working every minute. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep.'

Taken from: The Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back Again)

A Harvest Book

Currently listening :
Pavarotti's Greatest Hits
Release date: 2007-09-18

So there’s this thing....

2008-12-15T00:16:00.001Z

Current mood: SORTED OUT!!!
Category: SORTED OUT!!! MySpace

where you can organise your friends into categories here on the spazz....

I've only got one category, which is 'Magazines' - it's filled with a 150 or so mags I may or may not try and contribute to...

Well, the good thing about this new feature (COME ON TOM - CROSS MY PALM!!), is that you can also see, what categories you've been put into...

Here follows a list of some of the categories I've found myself in....

Authors, Publishers, Agents, Editors

Anyone in the publishing, writing, editing, representing, and distributing of books.

Fucking Bitches....Comment my pics

NIKKAAA!!! or just entertain me

change

FAREWELL BLOG UP

FINAL ELECTION BLOG FROM GOJIRA. YOU KNOW DRILL... VOTE GODZILLA OR PERISH. ARIGATO FOR THE MEMORIES

Thanks For Add!!!

ARIGATO! MERCI! GRACIAS! DANKE! OBRIGADO! TAK! MULTUMESC! GRAZIE! DANK U WEL! Busy with election :)

Virtual Reality Folks

uusi musa

Lol Category

England

RED ANTS

check out our music, also films. Youtube user: coffeeslave101

People I'd Kill If Killing Was Legal

It it were legal to stab people and shoot them or push them off tall things. these would be some!!!!

RANDOMIZED

Mobsters

Bands that Rock It

tell me about the rabbits george...

i done a bad thing...

Scooby Don't

It's kinda like Scooby-Doo, only different.

Companies, shops etc

anything like that except Promoters who are in the Bands catagory...

Creativity Enhancers

Paranormal

things that do not go elsewhere

Currently listening :
The Complete Living Room Tapes
By Lenny Breau
Release date: 2003-01-07

It pays to live in the rich block....

2008-12-11T09:24:00.001Z

Current mood: Analog it tapey boy....
Category: Analog it tapey boy.... Music

So, I went out to get a couple of bottles of wine, just before the shop shuts at midnight, having had a good strategy meeting and personal catch up with Tommy Nadir...

On the way, I chucked a bag of rubbish into the rubbish shed, turned and caught something in the edge of my eye...

I took a QUICK look, then went and got my wine...

BEST NOT THINK!!!!

Yes boss, I hadn't properly taken in what I'd seen because I knew Mrs Giovanni would welcome ANY NEW RUBBISH INTO THE HOUSE, 2 WEEKS B4 BDAY WITH A SWIFT KICK IN THE BALLS!!!!

But on the way back I couldn't resist another look, and without worrying myself of any possible further consequences, I GRABBED IT ALL!!!!

And here it is....

An analog echo chamber with large speaker, and a working Yamaha MT3X 6 TRACK TAPE!!!!

OH BOY!!!! OH BOY OH BOY!!!!!!

Currently listening :
Break Like the Wind
By Spinal Tap
Release date: 2000-08-29

On assault from all sides....

2008-12-11T09:23:00.002Z

Current mood: glum..
Category: glum.. Music

Indie label distribution company Pinnacle Entertainment has gone bankrupt, with over 94 people laid off at the firm today (December 3).

The company is the latest casualty of the credit crunch, and puts the entire future of indie labels into question, as the company was responsible for releasing records from over 400 indie labels.

Independent labels trade body AIM called an emergency meeting for tomorrow (December 4) to see how the indie labels affected can be helped.

Among the hundreds of influential record labels that were distributed by Pinnacle are Rough Trade, One Little Indian, Drag City and Fierce Panda.

Accountancy firm BDO Stoy Hayward was appointed as the administrator to deal with the bankrupt company, reports Billboard, and its business restructuring director, Matthew Tait said the firm is looking at how best they may be able to "handle the trading assets and work with the company to achieve the most favourable outcome."

Currently listening :
They Came from The Stars I Saw Them vs Reality
Release date: 2007-09-18

MICROPHONE: CHECK!!! JACKBOOTS - CHECK!!!!

2008-12-11T09:23:00.001Z

Current mood: GO FERGAL GO!!!!
Category: GO FERGAL GO!!!! Music

Teenage kicks will be harder to get if publicans and managers of other small venues are forced to comply with a new piece of bureaucracy called Form 696, a former punk rock star has warned.

The form demands that licensees give police a mass of detail, including the names, aliases, private addresses and phone numbers of all musicians and other performers appearing at their venue, and the ethnic background of the likely audience. Failure to comply could mean the loss of a licence or even a fine and imprisonment.

The police say they need the information demanded on Form 696, which runs to eight pages, so they can pinpoint which acts and venues attract troublemakers, and make sure venues are safe. But Feargal Sharkey, who rose to fame during the punk era as the vocalist on the single "Teenage Kicks" by the Undertones, is so angry about what he sees as a threat to live music that he is consulting lawyers about how to stop it.

As the boss of UK Music, which campaigns for musicians, he will be applying next week for a judicial review into whether a local authority has the right to make it a condition of a publican's licence that they have to fill in Form 696. The scheme was introduced by the Metropolitan Police after incidents at live music concerts in 2006, some involving guns. In theory, it applies to any licensed premises where there is live entertainment, but Detective Chief Superintendent Richard Martin, head of the Met's pubs and vice squad, said that in reality it will apply only to performances likely to draw large crowds.

It applies in 21 London boroughs, but professionals in the music business fear that if it becomes accepted, it will be copied in other cities. Martin Rawlings, director of the Pub and Beer Association, said: "I know of licensees faced with this saying they are just not going to put live music on. Form 696 is being used only in London so far, but there are similar things going on around the country, where the police are asking publicans to sign various protocols. It has gone too far, frankly."

Mr Sharkey has also complained to the Equality and Human Rights Commission that the police appear to be focusing on the music enjoyed by black and Asian teenagers. One of the questions on the form requires the licensee to specify the type of music that will be performed, giving as possible examples "Bashment, R'n'B, Garage". Another question asks, "Is there a particular ethnic group attending?"

In a letter to Sir Ian Blair, the Met commissioner, Mr Sharkey said: "In explicitly singling out performances and musical styles favoured by the black community we believe the use of Risk Assessment Form 696 is disproportionate, unacceptable and damaging to live music."

The Musicians' Union is also consulting lawyers, because they believe that performers' privacy is being invaded. Rick Finlay, 49, who has been playing drums in London venues for 30 years, warned that even if licensees agree to fill in Form 696, musicians may not co-operate. "I would be pretty angry about it, and I can tell you some of my colleagues would refuse to work with me rather than give their details," he said. "The last thing they need is a deterrent, which implies that there is something wrong with what they are doing."

But Det Ch Supt Martin said Form 696 was already making live music in large venues safer. "It's not about being risk averse, it's about managing the risk," he said. "If you a publican and you are just having some performers to entertain your regular customers, you won't be expected to do a risk assessment. It's for when the performance is being put on to draw people in. We will never assess somebody just on the genre of music they are performing. There is a whole raft of factors that are taken into account."

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/how-form-696-could-pull-the-plug-on-the-capitals-music-scene-1028240.html

Currently listening :
Gorilla
By Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
Release date: 2007-07-24

R.I.P Hope....

2008-12-11T09:22:00.000Z

Current mood: Death, but.....
Category: Death, but..... Life

Hope Williams died after 12 hours of surgery at Great Ormond Street Hospital in London which also left her sister Faith critically ill.

Both girls made it through the separation operation but Hope's lungs were too small to support her breathing.

"We separated the babies and unfortunately, after separation of the babies, Hope's lungs were too small to support her breathing and circulation.

"So eventually she died because of a lung condition and in reality what happened before is that the lungs of Faith were somehow supporting Hope,"

Money myths....

2008-12-10T11:06:00.004Z

Current mood:MINES A HOOCH!!!!
Category: News and Politics

The tank is still empty, and in the UK it's getting more empty by the day...

Runs on the ££££

Saturday openings at the Job Center

Systemic Job losses

Estate Agents wearing less aftershave...

It's gonna be a long way down...

And whilst we sink, there's a few things I'd like to see change...

One major thing that has to alter, is for all these conservative, tory cunts to STOP rambling on about how this financial chaos is all the Labour parties fault....

Yes boss, what these myopic (still) very rich conservative bastards should understand (and in fact know) is that New Labour didn't start the house price boom or the UKs dependence on financial services - IT WAS MARGARET BLEEDING THATCHER AND THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY!!!!

Yes boss, it was that wicked old witch who said society didn't exist and that we should all concentrate on owning our own houses, close our manufacturing and all become BANKERS!!!

Sure, Labour chopped their own balls off and copied the Tories because they were COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DESPERATE to get elected ('Tony Blair MP' isn't an anagram of 'I am Tory Plan B' for nothing) but it was the Tories who fucking well started it all....

Another thing that needs to stop is this obsession with getting single mums and the disabled back into work?!?!?

Yes boss, all the time we're hearing there's:

A) NO JOBS!!!!
B) SOCIAL DECAY, ROWDY FERAL YOUTHS, AND BINGE DRINKING!!!!

But then we hear all about these new initiatives to FORCE single mums and the disabled to seek work??!?

It's pure bollocks.

Why is it a good idea to knock away the one regular support single parented kids have and then expect them not to go on to get pissed on street corners and steal cars???

AND WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT OF FORCING SINGLE MUMS TO LOOK FOR JOBS IF THERE AREN'T ANY???

Truth is, if they even get jobs (after wasting important parenting time looking) a lot of young single mums are gonna get shitty horrible jobs, from which they'll return to the house in a bad fucking mood, meantime little Henry will be shuffled around from pillar to post, which altogether combined quite clearly spells SOCIAL DECAY BINGE DRINKING FERAL YOUTHISM!!!!

Yes boss, capitalist economies NEED a certain number of people to be unemployed to maintain the price of labour - so why not leave the disabled and single mums be, unless they want to go to work???

It's a shame, cause a few months ago, I was internally preaching (for once) of the UKs world stature in matters like these..

Yes boss, Britain came 2nd in the medal tables at the Paralympics...

Now, in my view, a sign of a real civilization is a society that benefits and helps those who might otherwise struggle, so to come 2nd (behind China) in the whole world in the Disabled Olympics was a true and proper civilized achievement for the UK....

2ND IN THE WORLD FOR A POXY PUDDING ISLAND?!?!?

WHERE THE FUCK WERE THE REST OF YOU????

Such an achievement is very far removed from harassing folk with disabilities into godawful jobs, when there are other able bodied folk who desperately want the jobs...

So...

It's my guess that the only end to this current crisis won't be brought by penalising the disabled, single mums or even immigrants....

This crisis will only end when house prices have dropped by at least half to realistic and reasonable levels, when the UK has been forced to join the Euro, when unemployment has topped 3 million, and when bankers are summarily tortured, then hung on crosses the minute they earn over a £100,000 from now on ever after....

AMEN!!!!

Currently listening:
Rent (2005 Movie Soundtrack)
By Jonathan Larson
Release date: 2005-09-27

PGC£ OF THE DAY NO1!!

2008-12-10T11:06:00.003Z

Current mood:TAKING THE LAW TAKING THE LAW....
Category: Art and Photography

Here comes the first in my new series PGC£ OF THE DAY!!

The idea is this:

Because good quality writing is a full time job and the required level of concentration is gonna be hard to complete for this next 6 months or so, I'm gonna be diversifying into images....

Yes boss, I have a camera, fireworks and photoshop - and I find using these to be altogether easier and more casual, than producing good writing...

So, for the next little while, I'm gonna be issuing PGC£s of the day in (often) place of the very regular written blogs you've become used too...

The only rule on this outing, is that the images have to be completely PG£ created...

EACH PGC£ HAS TO BE ME AND THE COMPUTER CAMERAS WORK ONLY!!!

NO NICKED AND MANIPULATED IMAGES FROM GOOGLE!!!!

So, here's No1, which is entitled 'Light Fish....'.

'Light Fish....'.

features no photoshoping at all - it's simply an overexposed shot of the flats turned on it's side...

Currently listening:
High Land, Hard Rain
By Aztec Camera
Release date: 1991-07-09

GIOVANNI KEEPS HIMSELF IN THE BALLS AGAIN!!!!

2008-12-10T11:06:00.001Z

Current mood:BURNING OPPORTUNITIES!!!!
Category: MySpace

OK...

GOOD LOVE LATVIAN POSITIVITY DONE!!!!

I'm back to commenting on complaining...

A year or two back I did this piece for Fix Magazine in answer to a request for a Q&A for 4-500 words...

It was done at very short notice and in double quick time because the editor was dis-organised...

So, I turned up to DJ at the 4^th Pull Up A Chair night, with my gold painted face and thought I was special…

No-one could trump such a wonderful and innovative display of individuality and personal freedom could they? Not even TVs very own Mr Ross Lee!!

Well, it turned out they could...

Yes boss, no sooner had I settled into my corner, than a gentleman walked in, who not only had a painted BLUE face, but was also clad in a BLUE cape and a builders helmet to boot?!?!

Frankly, I was astonished at this display, and I spent the entire evening plotting my repost.

It however took until the man himself (who I now know to be Mr Jim'll Brain) played a song about stalking, that a plan found itself.

Yes boss, the song in question retold a story of him meeting the object of his 'stalk', to find he had no words for her.

"AHA!!!" I thought "I'll stalk Jim'll Brain and batter him with my clever words, that'll show him!!"

So, a week of intensive skulduggery later and I found myself in a pub opposite Mr Brain, and I started to give him a proper volley of my best and top words…

"So what the hell's with the blue paint and the fucking cape???" I started, still angry at his previous knockout.

Jim'll Brain looked back at me, calm, unconcerned and content:

"Well, I'm trying to do something different with the genre. You know the whole singer song writer thing. It's too cute and introspective. I figured I'd wear a cape and a blue face and put on a show and see where it got me. I mean I'm just enjoying writing and playing and if I can provoke a little and look weird, why not?"

"Mmmm, interesting" I said, as Mr Brain mumbled something about Gene Simmons.., "But won't people think you're mad??

"Maybe....But I've been to hell and back with madness - I've even been in bands, and now I'm just looking to get up there and do my own thing and people have the right to say what they feel. Isn't everybody mad?"

"Perhaps...but what else?"

"Erm…." Jim'll paused "What else do you think??"

"Shit...umm, well.."

Of course, I could claim I then sunk my best critical knife into Mr Brain - but I didn't...

No boss, the previous weekend, I was sat there in the corner, twiddling my laptops, with my gold face and I saw Jim'll take the stage with his outfit and blue face and I thought

"FUCKING JESUS??!!?? WHAT'S ALL THIS CRAP WITH DOING PERFORMANCES IN BLUE FACE PAINT"

But I was soon surprised.

Yes boss, Jim'lls Brain does comedy songs that are soulful and not wacky or stupid. Tunes that can raise a laugh and skip around and over tricky and unfunny issues like stalking, fame, mental health and mental wealth and I have to say I was thoroughly charmed.

Back at the pub....

"I'm just trying to write as I see things. That's all" Jim'll said, as I wondered if there was anyway I could beat this man. "I'm caught up in the 70's really, when there was a bit of a performance going on to go with the lyrics. People say I'm sabotaging myself by wearing all this gear and maybe I am. I really wouldn't mind it if someone threw a rotten vegetable at me, in fact I'd encourage that. I love a challenge…"

"But do you think you're gonna get famous doing it this way?"

"That isn't the point, but I hope I can play to a large audience. That's fun."

Ladies and Gentlemen: Jim'lls Brain

http://www.myspace.com/jimllsbrain

http://www.myspace.com/paulgiovanni3rd

So, I'd tracked the interviewee down, done the interview and wrote this piece (or one very similar to it) all within 24 hours - Jim'll loved it, I loved it, even Harry at Fix Magazine loved it but i got this email...

Hi Paul thats not a short Q and A of 4 -500 words. That is a short article of 600 words.

I'm gonna have to drop it I'm afraid. It's a good piece but it's not what I'm looking for for this. I've redone it,as am on deadline for print today. Started again from scratch.

Sorry about that.

To which I replied...

Jesus Harry..

You don't want much do you???

It's creativity is what it is...

If you've redone it from scratch make sure my name isn't on it or I'll sue....

God I hate magazines....

and then

I mean do you want a quality mag bursting with creativity and ideas or an average mag??Jim'll loved the piece and I love the piece and you even love the piece. Would you turn down £50 if you aked (sic) someone for a tenner??

Well, I was appalled that someone could REJECT MY WORK!!!

AND REVOKE MY CREATIVE LICENSE!!!!

So I published the blog detailing the whole dispute, and sent Harry the link to it...

Harry commented me back about how he'd one shat in someones fridge...?!?!.

I then threw my toys out of the cot, stopped DJaying at his night, cut my ties with the mag, with him and with a bunch of promoter friends of his who were blowing smoke up my ass with talk of giving me regular paying DJ gigs

and moved on...

Well, I'd forgotten all about him and Fix Magazine, then today, I read this...

The Fix takes over Myspace comedy
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

When Myspace asked me if the Fix would like to launch Myspace comedy with an editorial take-over of their site, I thought it would be a privilege. When I found out what they actually meant was "would the Fix like to take over Myspace comedy after Russell Howard had already launched it", this felt like less of a privilege. But I guess it is still an honour of some sort.

So what is the Fix, I hear you ask, and why the hell should it take over Myspace comedy anyway? Well the Fix is the UK's only nationally distributed comedy magazine, available at over 140 comedy clubs and independent retailers – pubs, bars record shops etc…. But the Fix is more than just a magazine, it's a lifestyle choice. In the same way that stealing a frozen chicken from Lidl is the lifestyle choice of many heroin addicts.

The Fix showcases the best new comedy talent and gives them a platform to develop, much in the same way that the Myspace comedy channel hopes to. I do hope they do a better job than the Fix though. In the Fix's short two year existence, it has lost over 30k, I have had several nervous breakdowns and not one comedians career has been furthered by their appearance in the magazine. If anything it's destroyed more careers than it's helped.

Hopefully all this will change with our Myspace takeover, as the door is unlocked on 120 million users worldwide. Either that or the Fix's curse unleashed worldwide will destroy all of comedy. I once unlocked a door. It was to Pandora's box. Contrary to the popular Greek myth, when all the evils of the world had flown out all that was left was not hope, but despair. With a note attached saying you must start a comedy empire.

Enjoy

http://uk.myspace.com/comedyuk

WHOOPS!!!!!

Currently listening:
Career Opportunities
By Original Soundtrack
Release date: 1991-04-23

I AM PERFECT!!!!

2008-12-09T02:42:00.001Z

Current mood:DON’T FORGET YOUR HAT!!!!
Category: Music

'I'm feeling 100% fit. 100% perfect. People say that man can not be perfect, but I am sure that I am feeling perfect. If you tell yourself you are not perfect then you will never be perfect. If you tell yourself that, "I am perfect," then you can be perfect.. If you tell yourself that you are weak then you will be weak. If you say to yourself that, "I am strong and I cannot be weak," then you will never be weak, you will be strong forever. I am perfect. The teacher must tell the student that he is perfect, then the student will try to be perfect.'

L$P

MORE BRILLIANCE HERE!!!

Currently listening:
Verdi: Requiem; Quattro pezzi sacri
Release date: 2006-10-10

VIVA CHANGE!!!!

2008-12-09T02:41:00.003Z

Current mood:ALWAYS DIFFERENT, ALWAYS THE SAME....
Category: News and Politics

President-Elect Barack Obama has declared that the United States should maintain the "strongest military on the planet", while aiming to restore his country's global moral leadership.

Mr Obama said: "To ensure prosperity here at home and peace abroad, we all share the belief we have to maintain the strongest military on the planet."

With the responsibilities of office just seven weeks away, he added that his administration was "absolutely committed to eliminating the threat of terrorism".

"We cannot tolerate a world where innocents are being killed by extremists," Mr Obama said in the wake of Bombay attacks, adding that he was "heartbroken" by the deaths of six Americans in the massacre.

"We have to bring the full force of our power, not only military but diplomatic and political, to deal with the threats," he said, also vowing that the US would stand with India.

Currently listening:
Pablo Meets Mr. Bassie: Original Rockers Vol. 2
By Augustus Pablo
Release date: 1991-09-30

Whoever said all musicians are lefty commie pinko scum..????

2008-12-09T02:41:00.001Z

Current mood:SHALL WE PLAY THE RECAPITULATION????
Category: Music

Currently listening:
The Presidents of the United States of America
By The Presidents of the United States of America
Release date: 2004-11-02

Number 2....

2008-12-05T02:06:00.001Z

Current mood: THE WIERD GOES SERIOUS...
Category: THE WIERD GOES SERIOUS... Movies, TV, Celebrities

The second bit of TV I saw (this time in full) was Louis Theroux jollying it around with the cops in drug land Philadelphia...

Apparently he was trying to get a grip on how and why drugs and guns happen...?!?!?

Now Louis Theroux is yet another TV presenter there thanks to Daddy (his Dad is wonderful writer Paul Theroux)

But whereas Paul Theroux wrote beautifully, about paddling fold up canoes, riding on trains, and swanning it in Hawaii, Louis more often specialises in doing obvious and zany portraits of wierd public figures, like Jimmy Saville or Neo Nazis...

Yes boss, I've always found Louis to be little more than a mad show ambulance chaser par excellance..

I find, he has a penchant for the easy journalism - get in some eccentrics and they'll do the rest...

I reckon he has people in his 'research' office typing 'WIERD PERSON MAYBE RISKY' into google time after time after time...

GET ME THE JOB!!! GET ME THE JOB!!!!

I NEED TO LIKE TALK TO THESE CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!

Yes boss, the bottom line is that I find Louis dumb geek in a sweetshop routine gets very tiring very quickly - and no when more so, than when he takes on Police Camera Action...

So, in this one, there he is in US of A, and he's dressed in a blue bulletproof vest, being driven about by hamburger cops, asking idiot fucking questions as to why drugs and guns are all over the streets with no names...

Sometimes the questioned try and communicate something - and sometimes they peer back stonnned disbelieving at him like the school trip twat that he is...

Yes boss, the only amazing thing with this show was that one of the drug lords or copper corner boys didn't slay him for the PURE NERVOUS hell of it....

But that didn't happen,

and what did, was pretty ignorable....

Currently listening :
Shamal
By Gong
Release date: 1990-07-23

2 News....

2008-12-05T02:05:00.003Z

Current mood: FUCKING MOTORBIKES!!!!!
Category: FUCKING MOTORBIKES!!!!! News and Politics

Here we go with some chatter about 2 TV programs I lapsed in and out of this evening...

The first was Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boormans documentary about driving their motorbikes SOLO (with a full back up possey and doctor and TV crew) from Northern Scotland to the very bottom of South Africa...

Now, a while back, I saw the first episode of Boorish and McGregors first swanny around the globe, which seemed to involve them driving motorbikes from Notting Hill Gate to China.

Well, that first episode of that first trip, followed all the preparations for their 'adventure', and it was mind numbingly dull....

Yes boss, it was composed of them and their office army of helpers phoning up all kinds of companies and blagging GALLONS OF FREE FUCKING GEAR!!!!!

The only amusing bit, was when Boorish threw a wobbler because BMW pulled out of giving them 2 FREE FUCKING BRILLIANT ALL TERRAIN MOTORBIKES at the last minute - apparently, they thought it might be better if McGregor STUCK TO FIGHTING DARTH VADER, RATHER THAN DRIVING A FUCKING MOTORBIKE POINTLESSLY ACROSS RUSSIA?!?!?

Well, Mrs G had this on in bits, as she browsed through the channels looking for something else better, and though i put on a Spinal Tap tape, I could still hear what was happening....

And the most remarkable bit on todays new trip episode (them sitting in on a foreskinning ritual aside) was when they decided to drop in on the site of a massacre in some school in Kenya?!?!?

Yes boss, they said that so and so town was the scene of an APPALLING massacre a few years back (cue BBC news footage of said pointless massacre) and seeing as though we were passing it, THEY FELT THEY HAD TO POP IN?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK????

SINCE WHEN HAS IT BEEN NECESSARY TO POP IN ON TRAGEDIES LIKE THIS AND PRETEND TO GIVE A FUCK?!?!?

AND HOW COME SUCH AN ACTIVITY IS NOW A CORNERSTONE OF EVERY GOOD FUCKING HOLIDAY?!?!?

Shit, when I was young, my mum used to take us to graveyards to look at the odd famous tombstone (Arthur Conan Doyle & Highwayman Dick Turpin to name 2) - but that was years after the tragedy and IT WAS CHEAP!!!!

But these cunts are both rich, and they're hanging around death, and then there's Boorish or McGregor giving this little diatribe about how he can't understand how someone could kill a bunch of kids for no apparent reason...

AND I'M THINKING...

FUCK OFF POSH BOY FROM A COUNTRY WHO DOES (AND SUPPORTS) THAT KIND OF THING IN THE MIDDLE EAST ON A REGULAR FUCKING BASIS?!?!?! GO AND STORM DOWNING FUCKING STREET IF YOU FEEL SO FUCKING STRONGLY ABOUT IT YOU DULL OLD CUNT!!!!!

Well, I guess my point here, is that adventures only interest me if they involve little planning, one person against the odds who barely survives to tell the tale..!!!

So these TV ones never quite cut it...

No boss, it's my opinion that a TRUE adventure shouldn't be covered by film until a proper adventurer can pack down everything filmy into a fag packet...

Having a back up crew is crap...

Currently listening :
Camembert Electrique
By Gong
Release date: 2001-08-28

News..

2008-12-05T02:05:00.001Z

Current mood: BRUM BRUM!!!!
Category: BRUM BRUM!!!! Life

WHAT NO BLOGS????

REAL WORLD practicalities are biting,..

Yes boss, I'm currently mostly focusing on developing my Services, taking pictures (ANYONE WANNA POSE??) and building the Giovan-shop which'll launch soon...

Amongst other things, the shop'll host the ENTIRE GIOVAN-ARCHIVE - AKA the best collections of pop culture recordings, books and memorabilia I've ever had...

EVERYTHING WILL BE FOR SALE!!!!

AND EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!

Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for my Blog Privitisation Plan - THAT'S ALSO COMING SOON!!!!

In other news...

Mrs Giovanni is getting rounder.

Yes boss, she's doing wonderfully, but she's getting a little tired of the discomfort and the endless heart burn.

She's saying that I'll have to have the next child - and that's fine by me...

Body redevelopments aside, yesterday, we hosted a Frizzy jacket potato dinner here on Fish Island

Yes boss, the next CHG out in less than a months time will be called Dinner with Frizz and it's gonna be A FAMILY SIT DOWN MEAL!!!!

FUCKING ROCK 'N' ROLL OR WHAT!!?!?!?

Dinner, ebay (GO HERE AND GRAB YERSELVES BARGAINS), and sanding the drawers down done, the only other thing of current domestic fish note, is that now Mrs Giovanni is largely immobile, I've taken to driving her motorised scooter around and about the place...

Yes boss, I've never been one for driving my own motorised transport, but I have to say I'm warming to the idea...

'I think after years of being stuck as a child, you might finally be becoming a teenager...' Mrs Giovanni said wearily, when I returned from todays runabout, grinning like a fool...

'Yes!!! I think I might finally be growing up!!!' I replied

Currently listening :
Let’s Make Up and Be Friendly
By Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
Release date: 2007-07-16

ALL YOU NEED IS....

2008-12-02T03:07:00.001Z

Current mood: BULLET IN THE HEAD!!!!
Category: BULLET IN THE HEAD!!!! Life

'There are so many songs about love, but I was thrilled the other day when somebody mailed me the lyrics to a song that was about how he didn't care about anything, and how he didn't care about me. It was very good. He managed to really convey the idea that he really doesn't care.'

Taken from: The Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back Again)

A Harvest Book

Currently listening :
Rage Against the Machine
By Rage Against the Machine
Release date: 1992-11-10

I read a lot of blogs....

2008-12-02T03:06:00.002Z

Current mood: SAVE THE RICH!!!
Category: SAVE THE RICH!!! Music

and there are few that regularly make me wonder and marvel...

Yes boss, for me a good blog isn't one that's necessarily done regularly, or well written (though it can be both), it's one that springs ideas, weaves top level stories and anecdotes, adds wisdom, with danger and insight and tips as to what and how things are going on...

One blog that does all of the above is Roger Greenawalts...

Yes boss, as I've said before, Rogers blog is essential.

So essential, that when I see a new posting, I cut their IMMEDIATELY!!!

This is my favourite posting...

GENIUS!!!

I suppose I find Rogers words all the more exceptional because his main event is music and not writing....

Yes boss, Roger has produced and worked with all manner of top level acts of all styles including Iggy Pop, Philip Glass, and The Van Allen Belt...

Well, this December 7th Roger is producing a 10 hour musical event that's well worthy of note...

He's gonna play all 189 of The Beatles original songs, back to back on the Ukulele in aid of the worlds richest man Warren Buffet..

http://forthebenefitofmrbuffet.blogspot.com/

Yes boss, when all are fretting about saving themselves or even saving the third world, Roger has clearly identified that the people who really need saving are THE RICH!!!!

They're the ones who really care about money, and so rather than trying to keep it ourselves, we should simply set about handing it over to Warren WITHOUT DELAY!!!!

Guest singers set to perform include The Pierces, members of The Strokes, Warren Buffets son, and perhaps even Bono via video link...(This is not a joke)

And, you can join the list!!!

YES BOSS, THERE ARE STILL SONGS THAT NEED TO BE SUNG!!!!!

So, if you're within singing distance of Spike Hill in Wiliamsburg, Brooklyn, New York on Sunday, Dec 7, 2008, from noon to midnight - be sure to pop along and open your lungs - or at least go SHOUT SCREAM AND APPLAUD!!!!

Currently listening :
Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge
By The Pierces
Release date: 2007-03-20

Now...

2008-12-02T03:06:00.001Z

Current mood: GIMPO!!!

is a good time to be skint....

Yes boss, having money has been the basis of a good thing for some time now, but as the credit crunches through it's lunchbox (INCLUDING THE PLASTIC) being skint is BECOMING FASHIONABLE!!!!

Survival and thrift and MAKING GOOD!!!

on little and less is having it's day....

I'm loving it, because when I phone up on the day we're to be cut off electric, the company is interested in talking about payment plans as opposed to DOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

I love it because it's much easier to dick about on the rent, and start STATING ONE'S OWN TERMS when dealing with estate agents and landlords...

I LOVE THE ENDLESS FINANCIAL DISASTER PORN!!!!

And when you have nothing to loose, you can do very well in a recession...

So all round, I'm LOVIN IT LOVIN IT LOVIN IT!!!!

One thing I didn't however love in todays budget announcement was the increased tax on booze..

No boss, drink is an easy target for politicians, and the UK taxes pleasure like no other land - which is very tedious...

It's clear to see that such a fiscal policy just makes any problems worse...

And the pubs are dying....

Lastly...

I've noticed that no-one BIG seems to be thinking too much about the idea of 2 or 3% annual economic growth as being anything BUT a good thing.

But when much money is enough???

It's assumed we're inevitably going back to the good £$£$£$£$£$£$£$£ old days...

Sounds like a 35 year old boxers mentality to me...

Currently listening :
Chill Out
By The KLF
Release date: 1993-04-08

CASA HASA GIOVANNA ::: EPISODE 12 - DRUGS

2008-12-02T03:05:00.000Z

Current mood: PRETTY PLEASED...AND DEFINITELY NOT STONNED!!!!!
Category: PRETTY PLEASED...AND DEFINITELY NOT STONNED!!!!! Music

Here we go...

It's rushed, but slow...

It's black and white..

It's boring and indulgent...

But a new and swift departure of sorts, and for that reason I commend it to you....

.....CLICK THE PICTURE TO HEAR OR DOWNLOAD IT....

(Paul Pious Poppet James Deman Giovanni £rd would like to make it clear that NO drugs were used in the making of this tuneshow..)

I shouldn’t get annoyed by it....

2008-11-28T14:48:00.001Z

Current mood: YOU’RE NUMBER’S UP!!!!
Category: YOU’RE NUMBER’S UP!!!! Music

because I HAVE THE CHAIRS OF POP POWER!!!

But X Factor pisses me off...

Yes boss, Mrs Giovanni had it on this evening, whilst I was fighting with the house, and once again this singer called Rachel Hyton was voted into the bottom 2 and then finally ousted by the judges from the last 5...

SO FUCKING WHAT?!?!? I hear a lot of you SHOUT!!!

Well, the thing is, this woman is the only one on that show who has anything at all to offer..

I mean the rest of the conetstants and SIMPLY FUCKING AWFUL!!!

YES BOSS, THEY'LL BE LUCKY TO FILL A CRUISE SHIP BAR - THEIR TALENTS ARE GODAWFUL MINISCULE. THEY ARE THE VERY FUCKING ESSENCE OF WHY I HATE THIS AMATEUR STINKING KARAOKE SHOW!!!!

Yet Rachel Hyton has soul and talent - so of course she's out...

Well, I've since been wondering why this has happenned...

Is it because she's black??

Is it because she's controversial (4 kids, she first gave birth at age 13) and isn't seen to be a good squeaky clean role model that makes you EAT YOUR CORNFLAKES AND GROW UP TO BE A GOOD EARNER!!!!

Is it because she's simply too good for such an ass bumhole of a show????

Or is it because she's blown the Winehouse myth...???

Yes boss, as this clip below shows, Rachel Hyton can clearely sing Winehouse far better than Winehosue can.

And in doing this, I think she's blown the myth we've been fed this last 3 years or so, that Amy is an EXCEPTIONAL and unparalleled talent that has been and will never be seen again!!!!

Yes boss, it's shown everyone who watches X Factor, that there are many folks with better voices than Wino's and that Amy's main talent is really drawing attention to herself and PISSING HERSELF UP THE WALL!!!!

Currently listening :
You’ll Never Get Anywhere
By The Railway Raver
Release date: 2001-06-26

WOOF WOOF!!!!

2008-11-28T14:47:00.000Z

Current mood: ’ELLO ’ELLO ’ELLO
Category: ’ELLO ’ELLO ’ELLO Life

To detail todays toil well would be a blog too far for my available faculties at this late hour...

Suffice to say the below was a part of it, and I'll be telling the full story and some others, in this months Casa Hasa Giovanna, which'll be the most pauly talky so far, and be out in days time...

(Of course, I'm about to be a responsible parent and I'm innocent of all dog based suspicions....)

(FURTHERMORE I HAVE NEVER TAKEN DRUGS!!!!)

(AND I WILL NEVER BE CONVICTED UNDER SEC 23!!!)

Now WHERE ARE THE FUCKING RIZZLAS!!!!!

SAVE THE MIDDLE CLASSES!!!

2008-11-26T21:20:00.002Z

Current mood: THE CHILDREN!! THE CHILDREN!!!!
Category: THE CHILDREN!! THE CHILDREN!!!! News and Politics

'I sit on a man's back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means - except by getting off his back.'
Leo Tolstoy

With Mrs Giovanni now working form home, I'm reading all the tabloid papers daily...

Yes boss, my current media monitoring is taking on a decidedly populist angle as opposed to the rather stuffy pubs I've been previously reading in the local library....

Of course, if you really want to know what's going on in the world, the only papers and magazines to read are the likes of The Financial Times and The Economist..

Yes boss, there's more proper news on one page of either of these pubs than in The Sun and Star combined...

But if you want to know anything about popular culture, it's the tabloids every time...

In all honesty, I don't have too much time for papers that sit in between either of these extremes - papers like The Guardian or The Independent or The Times

The Independent is pure suicide newsprint.

Every fucking day their front page announces some kind of a WORLD WILL END TOMORROW UNLESS!!!! (INSERT CAUSE OF THE DAY HERE) front page...

The news contained therein then always reads like the out takes of a depressed persons world journal..

Meanwhile, The Guardian is full of the worst kind of left middle comfy wing ranting and The Times is just a vehicle for conservatism..

Sure, the tabloids are full of mindless infuriating jingoistic crap, but they do at least have some connection with the (un)reality of day to day living...

This said, one thing I'm already tired of in the tabloids - the Mail in particular, is the Middle Class recession moaning.

Yes boss, this recession is being dubbed the 'Bourgeoise Recession' and the reason for this is because it's anticipated the white collar workers are gonna take the biggest numerical hits..

And these folk have no idea about how to go down quietly

No boss, in todays Daily Mail, there's a double page sob story about a bankers family WHO ARE SO SKINT THEY'RE FORCED TO WONDER IF THEY'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE £8000 A YEAR FOR EACH OF THEIR LOVELY LITTLE GIRLS PRIVATE SCHOOL FEES!!!

What?!?!? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SEND HENRIETTA TO THE COMMON SCHOOL?!?!? WITH THE DIRTY PEOPLE??????

'I have to think about every penny - I have stopped shopping at Tesco and started going to Morrisons BECAUSE IT'S CHEAPER.'

SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!!!

'I'd taken a law degree and then moved into private equity, and I assumed that my education and hard work ethic would mean I could always provide for my wife and children.'

TIMES ARE HARD!!!

'It is the having nothing to do which is most dispiriting..'

NO!!!!

'On the morning before I was sacked, I had been planning to get up at 5am to take a train to London to meet an important client and wouldn't have been home until 9pm. Overnight, all that disappears.'

COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY!!!!!

YOU'VE GOT SAVINGS!!!

YOU'LL SEE YOUR CHILDREN!!!!

YOU CAN MOW THE LAWN DAILY RATHER THAN PAYING THE GARDENER - HE MIGHT EVEN STOP BANGING YOUR WIFE !!!!!!

AND BESIDES, YOU CAN READ ALL OF THE DAILY MAIL, RATHER THAN JUST LOOKING AT THE PICTURES AND TUTTING AT THE IMMIGRANTS!!!!

JESUS.....!!!

The only real problem I can see in the western world with this here financial crisis is gonna be a little slimming down - and given how fat, stupid and arrogant we've become, that's no bad thing - and most likely lead to greater efficiency in the future...

Meanwhile, all over the rest of the world, people'll starve because the big traders are ramming down prices on cash crops to get us westerners SPENDING AGAIN!!!!, so we'll once again have enough money to patronise them with aid......

It's a hard, hard life...

Currently listening :
Timeless
By Goldie
Release date: 1995-10-17

GO ON!!!!

2008-11-26T21:20:00.001Z

Current mood: ASSERTIVENESS...
Category: ASSERTIVENESS... Games

Currently listening :
The Complete Ella Fitzgerald Song Books
By Ella Fitzgerald
Release date: 1993-11-02

From Mrs Susan Morgan

2008-11-25T01:58:00.001Z

Current mood: PRAISE THE LORD!!!! THE CHEQUE’S IN THE POST!!!
Category: PRAISE THE LORD!!!! THE CHEQUE’S IN THE POST!!! Life

BP [38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire

ATTN
DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr.Abram Morgan, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million and Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have seriouly sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is

maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision.

I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development.

With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan.

I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information's, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs Susan Morgan..

---------------------------------------------
This e-mail was sent using Mail.md

wAG tHE dOG....

2008-11-25T01:57:00.001Z

Current mood: ALLEZ!!
Category: ALLEZ!! News and Politics

The Sirius Star is the biggest ship ever to be hijacked, with a capacity of 2m barrels - more than one-quarter of Saudi Arabia's daily output.

"This is unprecedented," said Lt Nathan Christensen, a spokesman for the US Fifth Fleet. "It's the largest ship that we've seen pirated.

It's three times the size of an aircraft carrier."

War-torn Somalia has not had an effective government since 1991.

News of the attack raised crude oil prices on global markets following an earlier slump, Reuters news agency reported.

"There will never be enough warships," said Graeme Gibbon Brooks, managing director of Dryad Maritime Intelligence Service Ltd.

"The whole area is 2.5 million square miles. The coalition have to act pre-emptively and be one step ahead of the pirates."

"They're very good at what they do," he told a Pentagon briefing in Washington.

"I'm stunned by the range of it," said Navy Adm Mike Mullen, chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff. "The pirates, he added, "They're very well armed. Tactically, they are very good."

But it is not just the size of the vessel – 318,000 deadweight tons – which is astonishing, it is its type and its importance.

Currently listening :
Screaming for Vengeance
By Judas Priest
Release date: 2001-05-29

New Additions....

2008-11-25T01:56:00.002Z

Current mood: WORKING 9 TO 5...
Category: WORKING 9 TO 5... Jobs, Work, Careers

Life here on Planet Paul is reaching one of those classic junctures in which you either have to STEP THE FUCK UP!!!

or take a step back, recharge and come back again at some convenient moment in the future....

Yes boss, this means I need to make some cold hard cash AND QUICK!!!

Now, this cash isn't required to get rich, so much as to survive as is on a pretty basic (western) level...

So, at such a time, there are 2 options:

Get a regular job or try spinning this Giovan-bandwagon a little further...

Naturally, I'm starting out with the latter, and we'll see how it goes..

So, this boils down to a whole new consumerist and service sector to the Giovan-experience..

Yes boss, from now on, I'm not only venting my spleen and offering you incisive analysis, and good words, I'm offering other tertiary services and before too very long products...

We're starting with...

PG£s VIRTUAL HELP SHOP!!!

PG£s PROMO!!!!

PG£s PHOTO!!!!

PGDEEGEEEE!!!!

Now the truth here is that I've been doing these to some degree either for free, for limited cash or for favours for some time now. The difference is that now, I'm looking to get in some extra paid work with which to feed the little G and Mrs Giovanni's ambitions of NOT STRUGGLING EVERY DAMN MONTH!!!!

Of course, in some ways, I find this professional branching out from pure, concentrated and complicated daily writing to be thoroughly depressing prospect....

Yes boss, it's always been partly my contention that I'm a natural born writer, and that I shouldn't be troubling my little genius written soul with anything other than PRODUCING GOOD COMBINATIONS OF WORDS!!!

But, I do still love to delve into other areas in order to facilitate the learning process and to understand life - and it's for this inability to focus completely on the one written thing that makes it worthwhile for me to spread out.....

So...

If any of you need help with any of my available services - do get in touch!!!

Currently listening :
Do It Again: The Best of Famous Cover Hits [2 CD Set] [German Import]
By Various Artists

SUSAN COATES SPEAKS THE TRUTH!!!!

2008-11-25T01:56:00.001Z

Current mood: SUSAN’S MY PHILOSPOPHER OF THE DAY!!!!
Category: SUSAN’S MY PHILOSPOPHER OF THE DAY!!!! Writing and Poetry

Currently listening :
Hotter Than July
By Stevie Wonder
Release date: 2000-05-02