Wednesday, 17 September 2008

People have suggested.....


Current mood: THUG LIFE
Category: THUG LIFE Music



my Noel being pushed blog
wasn't very funny....

Noel Gallagher was doing his job and was attacked viciously and violently by an out of control thug...

I say, you reap what your brother sows...





Currently listening :
Busy Curious Thirsty
By Spring Heel Jack
Release date: 1997-09-23

Well today....


Current mood: MOULA...BANG
Category: MOULA...BANG Jobs, Work, Careers



I was wandering down the canal earlier on today, and I was getting worried...

I was realising that I was going to have at most £200 of the £500 of this months rent ready on time and that was was going to cause FIREWORKS here on Fish Island...


Now, this hasn't always bothered me, because I like many, hide behind the line that:

'It's only money'


But money is strange because beyond a point it goes acts purely as a mirror and amplifier...

Yes boss, the fact that it causes problems isn't because the person has a disagreement about the actuality of the money - or even really wants it in brass or paper form...

It's because by not supplying it as agreed, you've caused that person to feel used, abused and/or taken advantage of...


Truth is, cash can never be truly separated from anything - it's so thickly connected with all and everything now that being against it is like being against the rain..


I've always prided myself on being someone who doesn't care about cash and no matter how hard I try, I still don't and can't....

Currently, it's one of those things you have to take or leave as being part of me...

I try to give a shit, and I can't do it...


And this was the thing that was bothering my head as I walked - a complete sense of inevitability - that like with the red trouser fashion problem of the other day
, for some reason there's nothing I can do to avoid an (on the surface) completely avoidable problem, and a knowingness that this fact was about to cause trouble...

AGAIN


Furthermore, it's my experience that when you've got too many uncontrollable inevitables going on in your life, BIG problems are ahead...

AKA

CHAOS


Which brings me neatly to this...

Are any of you worried about this Halon Traxfibulator that's gonna recreate the Big Bang in Switzerland on Wednesday - or is the fuss, just another millennium bug...


Currently listening :
Solid Gold: Coxsone Style
By Various Artists
Release date: 1992-04-10

A NEW HERO FOR US ALL!!!


Current mood: ROCK ’N’ ROLL!!!!
Category: ROCK ’N’ ROLL!!!! Music



AT LAST!! SOMEONE HAS TWATTED ONE OF THE GALLAGHERS!!!!








Currently listening :
Kiss This: The Best of the Sex Pistols
By The Sex Pistols
Release date: 1995-09-05

Why we’ll never give up on war....


Current mood: NONE OF THEM RECIEVED A HEROES WELCOME..NONE OF TH
Category: NONE OF THEM RECIEVED A HEROES WELCOME..NONE OF TH Life



One problem I have with Barrack Obama is that like Tony Blair, I believe that deep down he's a conservative...

Yes boss, he might be black (how does that make him automatically alright?), he might make vague speeches, he might believe himself to be only a little less important than Martin Luther King and he might have HUGE charisma - but every time I look at him, I think:

CONSERVATIVE!!!


Well, this unpopular view was only enhanced when I read this piece (also in the Daily Telegraph - which perhaps proves I am also a conservative)..

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/2700555/Barack-Obama-wanted-to-join-the-US-military.html

This interview basically states that Obama once thought seriously about being a soldier..


Well, I think this stinks.

Yes boss, a minute ago he's saying he's on a 'change' ticket and what does he do to prove it??

He employs a dinosaur as a running mate, then starts talking about how he wished he'd been a fucking soldier - and that the only reason he didn't join up was because there wasn't a stupid fucking war (Vietnam) for him to go to at the time - he therefore couldn't go kill anyone, and didn't see the point in joining....

And people wonder why he's slipping in the poles...


Another thing I dislike in all this, is the candidates getting their kids out and sending them off to warzones so they can get elected - it's sick..

Yes boss, Barrack is only making up this crap about wanting to sign up, now, because he wants to appeal to the troops and the families of the troops, and because his running mate AND McCain AND Palin all have kids in the forces and they are all lauding their genius and pride for encouraging their dearly beloveds down that route...

Well, what a fucking great idea and example that is for everyone - JOIN UP AND GO AND KILL PEOPLE FOR A LIVING!!!! OUR KIDS ARE!!!!


If Obama is truly about change, how about he stands up and says something like.

'I find violence of all kinds abhorrent, and that's why I've never even thought about joining the army. Furthermore, I certainly wouldn't want my children to join up. Instead, I want to create an America where they won't need to do go rampaging across the world killing people..'


Shit, they might have had other flaws, but the thing I liked about both Bush 2 & Clinton was that they were both war scivers - they both had the good sense to say (privately obviously):

'FUCK THAT SHIT, I DON'T WANT TO GET MY HEAD BLOWN OFF I'M GONNA PRETEND TO FLY PLANES IN TEXAS/SMOKE POT INSTEAD!!!'


Yes boss, I don't know about you and your kids (should you have them), but if this little Giovanni comes out and starts talking about going to a war, I'll lock her in a cupboard with an ounce of dope and make her smoke it until she damn well changes her mind...!!!

In my book, that is responsible parenting - tearfully slapping her on the back and saying YOU'RE GONNA BE A HERO!!! isn't...


Furthermore, at the risk of getting my head kicked in by a bunch of vicious psychopathic squaddies, and/or a bunch of 80 years old war heroes, I'd like to suggest something truly radical here...


HOW ABOUT WE FORGET ALL THIS BRAVE HEROES SHIT!!!

How about we accept that anyone from any country (our own included) who has killed or injured someone in a war (any war) is a vicious evil murdering psychopathic thug?!?!?.

We do after all say that's so if someone (from our own country) hacks someone to fucking death in the high street over a bag of chips - but for a reason I have never fathomed, if someone goes and does the same (often on a far larger scale for a far larger bag of chips) as part of a war - that person is immediately a hero or villan depending on which side he/she's fighting on...

It's complete fucking doublethink and until it changes (which it seems unlikely ever to do) there will continue to be wars - end of story...


Yes boss, in my book, the only war heroes are the ones who have the balls to say

'FUCK THAT!! I'M NOT GOING - YOU CAN KILL ME FOR SCIVING IF YOU WANT, BUT I AIN'T GOING OVER THERE AND KILLING NO-ONE!!!'


Anyway, that's my politics done with for today...

Tomorrow, I'll be pointing out how we can all save the rain forests.

I'm then gonna be going on holiday with Bono on a big fucking boat in the med, wherein we will (for once and for all) attend to the vast and varied problems of Africa...



Currently listening :
Paul Hardcastle, 19, Extended Version
By Paul Hardcastle

Education, education, education....


Current mood: TELL ME THE ANSWER!!!!
Category: TELL ME THE ANSWER!!!! Jobs, Work, Careers



A thing that regularly cracks me up when I'm reading the newspapers, is the state of science...

Yes boss, I frequently find brief accounts of apparently earnestly done studies which appear to do nothing other than state the complete fucking obvious and in doing so they often also provide a laugh..


I'm talking about studies which say:

'Fatty foods are PROVEN to make you fat'

or

'Scientists prove that taking daily exercise makes you fitter'


Yes boss, it now seems that whereas higher education establishments used to be exclusively about creating social privilege, maintaining the hierarchy and advancing knowledge, they're now about 25% that, and 75% full of workshy tossers sitting around studying studies about studies that state the bleeding obvious...


For me, such things are prime signs that a civilization is becoming unstable - that the whole set up has got fat and is about to have problems...

Yes boss, if you compare a civilization to an athlete, I reckon this current one is aged about 32, has put on a bit of weight, has a few niggling injuries, and is thinking very seriously about retiring so it can spend more time with it's kids..


But there's no point getting bothered by these things, instead we must laugh and here's one such laugh story I saw today that cheered me right up...


The summary in the Daily Telegraph starts by saying..

Telling a prospective partner "I really like you" is likely to encourage the chosen target to reciprocate the feelings.

Research revealed that if a person shows someone their feelings, through eye contact, smiling - or simply telling them - they are more likely to return the sentiment.


WELL FUCK ME THAT HAVE NEVER CROSSED MY MIND!!! I thought...

I read on - chuckling....

But the University of Aberdeen study shows the science of attraction to be more complex.

And for a moment, I thought it vaguely possible I might be about to learn something new...

My reading pace quickened:

WHAT IS THE SECRET??? TELL ME THE FUCKING SECRET!!! TELL ME IT NOW!!!!!


Well, the crux conclusion of the study - THIS NEW PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN OBSERVATIONAL FACT - (as undertaken by scientists in Aberdeen) is essentially that:

If you have an attractive face and you smile, you are more likely to be seen to be attractive than if you have an attractive face and you don't smile...


GENIUS!!!!

NO...

FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!


And apparently for that

Dr Jones and Dr Lisa DeBruine, will present their research at the BA Festival of Science in Liverpool.


I think I might have to become an academic...


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2699545/Secrets-of-flirting-revealed.html




Currently listening :
Ultimate Love Songs: Vision of Love
By Various Artists
Release date: 2005-01-11

The Oppresser and the Oppressed...Pt1


Current mood: HIDE!!!!
Category: HIDE!!!! Life



Back when I was being a full time roads protester, we'd often have the 'Oppressor vs Oppressed' discussion...

This discussion essentially boiled down to the idea that to successfully mount any kind of a serious revolution, one has to be the 'Oppressed' and not the 'Oppressor'...

Geoff, who was at the time 16 years old (and might feisty with it) was of the opinion that us in The UK ( a rich heavily industrialized country) were always going to be the 'Oppressor' and not the 'Oppressed'.

He was therefore sure that we'd never be able to rouse a big enough sized mob to change things, no matter how stern and serious we were...


And though I wasn't quite sure at the time, I now think he was right...


This so, there have only ever been very few occasions where I have personally felt I was 'The Oppressor'

Yes boss, as does everyone on this island, I SLURP my way through plenty of resources, drink cash crop tea for fun, and think nothing of doing whatever my money will allow - but on only 2 clear occasions have I had the definite I'm BAD!!!..


One of these was when I was in Northern Ireland as per that blog of before...

I went there pretty naively, and it was only when I arrived, looked and opened my eyes, that I understood my sort might not be that welcome..


This was in the inbetweener time of Northern Ireland

Around about 1999

It was before peace had properly broken out - but because of the big CITY bombs, they were definitely talking heavily about it and there was a ceasefire in place


Until going there. I'd never much thought about the whole situation other than it all seemed to be a waste of time.

As far as I could see, no-one in England gave much of a fuck about Northern Ireland.

Whatever the argument was about was way beyond both the understanding and my interest of most folk I knew...

It all seemed to be silly...


Of course, I well understand and understood the need to make a political point and had spent a lot of time doing just that myself.

But I'd never got close enough to seeing violence of any serious kind, to be the right way to achieve something...

No boss, I've been standing there with a can full of petrol, about to start a very big prison sentence sized fire on a very good political reason and thought..

'Nah, this is ridiculous...'


And walked away...


In Northern Ireland, I found that I was there as a guest of one of the families that though it wasn't politically active at the time, must have had a fair old input into the unhappy status quo at some point in the past..

I WAS THEREFORE ONE OF THE BAD GUYS!!!


One day we drove past Stormont.

Stormont was where all the peace talks went on and is now where the united parliament sits..

Never before or since have I seen such an imposing colonial building..

This picture is good, but it gives no serious impression of how this place looks from the road that passes a mile down...

It rises up out of hillside like a fucking spaceship..

It's as empirical as things get...

And we went there and built that and expected to be loved by the locals???





This aside, there was one particular moment when i felt very, very uncomfortable

We were walking around central Belfast.

My then girlfriend pointed out the town hall which had been bombed on tens of occasions.

There were roadblocks and bomb barriers all over the place and rather than the regular squad cars, the police were driving about in these as standard...




(Notice the Crimestopers stencil on the side..)


Well, that day, I suddenly became very very conscious of my clear English accent and I felt far from comfortable using it.

I found myself always looking over my shoulder before talking...

It was no joke, that if you spoke with that accent in certain parts of town, you'd be considered to be a legitimate target and at the very least receive a serious kicking...

I found myself remembering the story of the SAS soldiers who went into a pub in the wrong part of town thinking it might be a razz, and never came out...


All told, there was a very heavy and uncertain atmosphere and i felt like I was on the wrong side of it...

And that was the first time I ever really felt like I was the Oppressor..




Currently listening :
Introducing the Hardline According to Terence Trent d’Arby
By Terence Trent d’Arby
Release date: 1990-10-25

Wake up little Pauly....


Current mood: GIMME A JOB....
Category: GIMME A JOB.... Music



WELL FUCK MY SPATS!!!

I missed the start of the Tour Of Britain today..

I've seen the first day of all 4 editions of this - the only decent bike race the UK has to offer - and I had every intention to see todays...

Yes boss, I planned to do my usual stalking of top riders to see what made them tick, I would then have bothered them for autographs and words of advice....

Instead, I was sitting around here all day long reading about the mafia and watching the Grand Prix and at no point did it even occur to me I might be missing out...

Thing was, I was CERTAIN it was next Sunday, and I never checked my diary TO BE SURE...

FUCKING SHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT CRAP ARSE CUNT FUCKING ARSHOLES!!!


Well boss, I'VE GOT TO RAISE MY GAME!!!!

And I've also got to start getting paid more often...!!!

Yes boss, Mrs G arrived back from France this evening and she didn't leave it any longer than an hour before reminding me about the rent and threatening HELL FIRE if I didn't have it on time (which I won't have)....


ESSENTIALLY, I NEED A PAID COLUMN!!!

I'm gonna start by approaching The Editor of The NME

What do you reckon on this as a starter for 10???

I reckon they'd be fools to turn such a darling sweet offer down....


Dear Connor….


I am writing to apply for the job of CHIEF FISH ISLAND CORRESPONDENT!!!!


Now I know you haven't advertised this position and you might think it isn't required, but by the time you've read this piece you will understand both why it is an excellent and essential position, and why you'll have no difficulty in sanctioning my commission STRAIGHT AWAY!!!


So, here's the rub.


It's struck me having read your magazine that you need a lifeline AND QUICK!!!


Yes Connor, your ship is sinking, your mag is dying and along with will go a small piece of British popular music culture…


Of course, it's not escaped my attention that your business is increasingly orientated towards live promotions, IDIOT FUCKING AWARD CEREMONIES AND OTHER SUCH CYNICAL MARKETING PLOYS, all of which are pretty damn lucrative and are perhaps the future of the NME…


It's therefore possible that you no longer give a shit for good quality written copy unless it's written by a copywriter - but just think of the kudos and acclaim you'll get if you rescue the magazine and once again make it an essential and worthwhile read…?!?


Things is, though I know I shouldn't do it, I quite regularly browse your magazine – I don't pay for it, that would be foolish - instead I go to my local lending library wherein I read each issue with a mixture of dread and despair…


It's not so much the bands you cover in The NME, as the poor quality of the writing that bothers me, and this weeks edition was worse than most….


Yes Connor, I was merrily sitting in the library reading the latest issue and I was more than half way through when I realised I'D ALREADY FUCKING WELL READ IT – it was the previous weeks copy!!!!


IT WAS THAT FUCKING INDISTINCT AND AVERAGE!!!


Now, this is clearly not good enough…


Something needs to be done – and when something needs to be done, I'M YOUR MAN!!!


So Connor, I've taken off my yellow trousers (after 2 solid weeks of wear) and I'VE JUST PUT ON MY RED TROUSERS!!!


Yes Connor, I'M WEARING MY FAKE RED NIKE AIR JORDAN 23 TROUSERS!!! AND I'M READY TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!


Here is my offer.


I am prepared to write a weekly column for you.


It will be about whatever I feel like writing about that is connected with music and it will always be brilliant, insightful, sometimes inflammatory and always at least 1 notch above everything else in the magazine..


It will examine the shitty fake poseurs who claim to be indie rock stars and it will prescribe the good common sense solutions to the current appalling condition of popular music…


It will also promote the good bands that I know to be 10 times as good as the cack that fills most of The NME…


Each weeks column will be somewhere in the region of 800 words and IT MUST NOT BE EDITED!!!!


But you can be assured it will be good!!!


Yes Connor, it won't be the kind of quick and shoddy thing that can find all over my blogs..


I WILL SWEAT BOLLOCKS FOR THIS!!


It will be heavily worked and passionately made to the very best of my ability….


It will be of such high quality that your readers will cease using their old copies of the NME for cat litter and instead start collecting them as people once did…


Yes Conn, your old readers will come flooding back and your new readers will breed like the fucking crabs did in Ozzy Osbournes 1970's underwear...


This column will demand so much of my time and effort that when Mrs Giovanni knocks on the door of my study to bring me my dinner, I will look up and say:


'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???'


IT WILL BE BRILLIANT!!


And you'll love it so much, you'll have a bronze bust of my face installed in your fucking office…


You'll be happy – I'll be happy EVEN RADIOHEAD WILL BE FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!


So, for this excellent service, I want £1023 per column.


This payment must arrive within 12 hours of the delivery of each weeks column and it must be paid in HARD cash delivered by bicycle messenger to my Fish Island flat.


Yes Connor, we all know that banks are complete and utter CUNTS and if you pay me any other way they'll find some devious way to cream off a percentage to line their 9th fucking house with…


It's therefore cash or nothing..


This is a take it or leave it offer – I am not prepared to negotiate…


Mail me soon with a big fat YES, and I will get started..


With love..


Paul Pious James Deman Giovanni £rd


http://www.paulgiovanni.com

http://www.myspace.com/paulgiovanni3rd

http://paulgiovanni.blogspot.com/


PS: Perhaps you think this is a joke, but I never joke.


No Connor I make a habit of being completely fucking serious about EVERYTHING ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!!!


I'M A VERY SERIOUS YOUNG MAN AND THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS OFFER!!!!






Currently listening :
George Clinton and His Gangsters of Love
By George Clinton
Release date: 2008-09-16

The Big League....

Current mood: THE OPULENT....
Category: THE OPULENT.... Life



One thing I've noticed about well brought up children of the rich, is that they often don't realise they're rich - or at least how rich they are......


I had a girlfriend who was this way.

That she was comfortably off was clear from day 1, but because I don't pay too much attention to money, it didn't occur to me (or apparently her) that she was to one day be SUPER rich..


Her father worked for the Dutch Embassy, but he could also be some kind of a spy.

She was brought up in The Yemen.

She spent time in The Sudan.

And when I went through the list of the other countries she'd lived in, I found the postings often coincided with political events...

The story was that he was sent to sort out administrative problems.

And the last I heard of his activities was that a year or two after September 11th, he'd been spending a lot of time in Pakistan.

Maybe there were a lot of administrative errors happening in Pakistan???


Financially speaking, I only realised just what was what, when we went to visit her grandparents in Belfast.

It was well over a year after we'd met.

The house was a nice size and as we pulled in, she told me it was built in the style of Charles Rennie Macintosh
.

At the time, I didn't know anything about architecture or design and though it was quite a good looking gaff, the name meant nothing and it wasn't that which give the game away...


That was a later, when I found myself sitting next to a brass heron..

We were having tea in the conservatory, and her Grandad was reading an antiques magazine..

I was still feeling the whole situation out, as you do when around potential new family...

Do they like me?? Do I like them??

Then her Grandad says:

'I see there's a pair of these (notions in mine and the brass birds direction) herons gone for £15,000'


He said it as if he were commenting on a set of new and controversial road works..


'OH SHIT!!! THIS FUCKING BIRD'S WORTH MORE THAN I AM!!'

I thought..


It was the notification to inform me they weren't short...


This difference in fortunes duly noted, I began to pay a bit more attention to my surroundings and it was then soon very obvious just how rich they were...

Everything in the house worked very well.

The shower in my room ran hot perfect powerfully and changed temperature as and when you told it to - in my experience not many showers do that..

Then there was a picture on the wall of their old home that had sat on the same land..

It was a mansion.

It'd been knocked down, the land portioned up and sold (on which 3 or 4 other large detached houses now stood).

I then noticed the gatehouse

And they mentioned the house down the road that was rented out - 4 or 5 stories of grandiose town house also on Belfasts Malone Road...

There was the Ming Dynasty Pottery that had been rescued from a ship wreck...

The large collection of original watercolours that were worth £12,000 a go..

And then there was the docks...


We were going to see a bird reserve because they knew I was interested in birds.


Another thing I've noticed about the rich, is the things that impress them..

Art and Nature are 2 (because they're both bigger and stronger than money???)

It was lucky that I could talk about both..


Anyway, we were driving to see the birds, and on the way they pointed out the docks..

The Thompson Docks

Their docks

Her Grandads family name is Thompson and they were the docks where the Titanic was fitted out - exactly what the link was has slipped my mind, but these docks are still the biggest dry docks in the world...


Well, initially, I felt a little overwhelmed by all this, but then I started playing the game.

In the evenings, I would also read the antiques magazines, and I'd start asking questions about particular pieces, and her Grandad would show me this and that and once I'd got the vaguest of handles on it all, we'd discuss the market and what was worth having and what wasn't...

I soon got used to all that.

That bit was easy..


One evening, when her Grandparents had gone to bed, I pointed out to my girlfriend, that I believed her family to be SUPER rich and that given that she was an only child, one day she would be SUPER rich too - in fact she already was...

'My Granny once said that Grandad could be a millionaire..' she said..

But she didn't seem to believe or understand it...



Currently listening :
Kiss Clublife
By Various Artists
Release date: 1999-12-28

Sporting thoughts...


Current mood: PUNCHING....
Category: PUNCHING.... Sports



After the golden euphoria of the UKs Olympic performances, today's been marked by the kind of sporting failure the UK public more often loves...


First it was the multi-million pound footballers only just beating the part time Andorrans..

Andorra is a principality...

IT'S A FUCKING TAX HAVEN THAT CONSISTS OF LITTLE MORE THAN 1 SINGLE MOUNTAIN AND YET OUR WORLD CLASS MULTI-MILLIONAIRES STRUGGLED TO BEAT THEM 2-0....


Then it was Amir Khan being stuck on the canvas by an unknown Columbian inside 30 seconds..

Amir has been on a golden carpet ride since his boxing silver in the Athens Olympics.

18 fights 18 wins

He's been held up as being the acceptable face of Islam (his Dad wears the Union Flag as a suit)

He worships Allah - but talks with a Bolton accent and doesn't think about blowing shit up....

He appears a genuinely good guy who's been brought up lovingly well.

And he can definitely PUNCH!!!


But he doesn't like to get punched...


There's a fragility about him - a Bambi like nervousness.

Big deer eyes..





And after a few good shots from the Columbian, he was on the floor...COMPLETELY OUT!!


Compare Amir with the best pound for pound fighter Floyd Mayweather Junior





Floyd used to get the crap beaten out of him by his Middleweight Professional father.




Floyd has a naivety about him - but it's the kind that's come from having his childhood stolen by a stupidly vicious dad - turning him into a BIG champion...


Has Amir suffered that???

I don't think so..


Boxing's an odd sport - a successful rise relies on the skills of the promoters and trainers PICKING the correctly timed opponents

Other sports have governing bodies who do that for you...

One wrong opponent and that is quite often that...

Last night, Khans people ballsed it up BIG TIME!!


To succeed in the really tough games like boxing or cycling, you have to have suffered hugely against your will, or REALLY ENJOY PAIN!!!

You can't cycle up mountains effectively unless there's demons chasing your soul or you love the sheer fucking torture of it...

The good mountain cycling men are generally eccentric lunatics and they often die young...

Marco Pantani died on Valentines day in a hotel called The Rose.





He was 34.

He died of a Cocaine overdose..

You have to ingest a SHITLOAD of cocaine to overdose..


In all sports, once you get beyond a certain level it becomes about mental soul strength...

Has Khan got it???


The UK track cyclists have got it.

Perhaps the key difference between the winning track cyclists from Olympic Wonderland Beijing and the loosing former Olympic boxer, is that the track cyclists got more or less nothing from nobody until they'd reached the absolute top of their game...

Those guys and girls are all on very small money - most of them could get paid more for doing something else far MORE NORMAL, but they're cycling for the love of the sport and the buzz they get from it...

When they win a few gold medals they've reached the peak and THEN they get paid..





But Khan won an Olympic Silver!!

The Olympics mean nothing in Boxing


It's 2008, and these days, sponsorship comes in very early...

MONEY $£$£$££ MONEY $£$$££$$

It doesn't affect the true greats - but too many spend, and do the charity functions before they've really done anything that special...


YOU CAN SEE IT IN THEIR EYES...


How many times do professional sportsmen look to be uninterested.



Currently listening :
Rocky IV
By Original Soundtrack
Release date: 2006-02-28

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Make the best of it...


Current mood: HALLELUJAH!!!
Category: HALLELUJAH!!! Music




Currently listening :
Millennium Prayer
By Cliff Richard
Release date: 1999-12-10

SIR CLIFF!!!


Current mood: BEING STRAIGHT NOW...
Category: BEING STRAIGHT NOW... Music




About a year ago I suggested Sir Cliff Richard might be homosexual and in denial...

He obviously isn't..

And this article proves it...

Sir Cliff speaks frankly about his 'companion' the ex-priest

The memoirs of most pop stars follow a formula, describing in lurid detail their sexual exploits and battles with drug addiction. Sir Cliff Richard's autobiography is a little different, if no less illuminating.

The 67-year-old singer has spoken for the first time about his close relationship with a former Roman Catholic priest, and calls on the Church of England to approve same-sex marriages.

Sir Cliff describes how he struck up an intimate friendship with an American former missionary, Fr John McElynn, after meeting him in New York seven years ago. The famously clean-cut pop singer reveals that he hired Fr McElynn to look after his charitable projects and numerous houses, after it became clear the American would give up the priesthood. The pair now live together.

In the book, Sir Cliff calls the former clergyman his "companion" and "blessing", going on to say he is "sick to death" of media speculation about his sexuality. "Our arrangement has worked out really well," he writes. "John and I have over time struck up a close friendship. He has also become a companion, which is great because I don't like living alone, even now."

Sir Cliff, a poster boy for the Christian faith, also defends his decision to remain a bachelor in the book, titled My Life, My Way. "People often make the mistake of thinking that only marriage equals happiness," he writes.

"I may suddenly meet someone and feel differently, but right now I am not sure marriage would enhance my happiness. As for my sexuality, I am sick to death of the media's speculation about it. What business is it of anyone else's what any of us are as individuals? I don't think my fans would care either way."

He calls on the Church of England to update its views on same-sex marriages, arguing that all judgements on sexuality should be left to God. "I think the Church must come round and see people as they are now. Gone are the days when we assumed loving relationships would be solely between men and women. It seems to me that commitment is the issue, and if anyone comes to me and says: 'This is my partner; we are committed to each other', then I don't care what their sexuality is. I'm not going to judge; I'll leave that to God."

Sir Cliff chose the Lakeside Shopping Centre in Essex to sign copies of his book yesterday. More than 1,000 fans, mostly female, turned up. In the book, Sir Cliff, who has sold more than 250 million records over six decades, reveals that the only two women he considered marrying were the dancer Jackie Irving and Sue Barker, the sports presenter. He describes Ms Irving, with whom he had a relationship in the early 1960s, as "utterly beautiful", and says for a time they were "inseparable". She married Adam Faith.

Sir Cliff met Sue Barker in 1982. They quickly formed a close attachment thanks to their shared passions for tennis and Christianity. "I seriously contemplated asking her to marry me," he writes, "but in the end I realised that I didn't love her quite enough to commit the rest of my life to her. There were no broken hearts."

He also describes the time he was famously seduced by Carol Costa, the estranged wife of Jet Harris, a member of his backing group, The Shadows. "I was surprised but not unhappy to be seduced", he writes , but stresses that "sex is not one of the things that drives me". In 1996, he flatly denied he was gay. "I'm aware of the rumours, but I'm not gay."

Steve Turner, who wrote a biography of Sir Cliff in 1993, said: "Of all the people I've interviewed, from David Bowie to the Beatles, he's the one most people ask me about. With Cliff, there's always that element of uncertainty and puzzlement, because there's something unresolved about his image."



Currently listening :
{3 CD Dance Pack / 39 songs} featuring: Inline, Fly Girl, Benny Moore, Mo'reece Marks, Barbara Nelson, Julio Sole, Sonni Bebe, Latin Lou/Mambo All Stars, Dick Martian, Sonni Bebe, On Time, The Party Boys, Mini Trio, Buckwhead, The Black Pack, Brand New Heavies, Robin, Basscut, Aja, Pharcyde, Omar Go
By So Close - Inline / If You Had My Love - Fly Girl / Never Too Busy - Benny Moore / Return Of The Mack - Mo'reece Marks / Genie In A Bottle - Barbara Nelson

Change....


Current mood: WATCH OUT FOR THE WIND!!!!
Category: WATCH OUT FOR THE WIND!!!! Life



We're suffering storms here on Fish Island, and these last few days have had a different feel in the air - the feel that is Autumn...

Already..


Which makes me fucking glad I'm soon going to sunny Italy for 3 weeks..


Well, never one to miss an opportunity to make us feel in imminent fear of DEATH, tonight the TV news media are trying to get all excited about

THE STORMS SWEEPING BRITAIN!!!


Yes boss, they're treating it like it's a proper fucking disaster...

But all that's happened so far is that a 4x4 has fallen into a river...

As disaster porn goes, it's pretty fucking amateur...

In comparison, that hurricane Gustav in the Gulf of Mexico was THE END OF THE WORLD!!!


Oh, and why in the hell do we always have to copy America anyway??

'HEY BRITAIN!! WE'RE HAVING A STORM!!!!'
'Oh...I think, I think, I think we're gonna have one too???' lick lick lick


Anyway, I'm trying to polish this RAH review piece from yesterday, but I'm struggling.

I think the exuberance of last night and this morning has come home to roost...

Yes boss, this morning I could have done 30 blogs - I was on some incredible early morning drinking energy..

Problem was I ran out of wine, and the rainy walk to Tesco's disrupted my flow and changed the mood to reflection...


Well, I'm now restocked on a massive level and fully rested, so there might be another onslaught or I MIGHT JUST GET BLOWN AWAY AND DIE HORRIBLY OF EXTREME WEATHER!!!


Which brings us to the point of notifications...

I get the impression a lot of people unsubscibe from this 'ere BLINGER because they get tired of the overwhelming nature of the PG blog onslaught day after fucking day...

Well, you can water that down by either going into your myspace 'Account Settings' then 'Notifications' and turn off the option to be notified by email each time there's a new blog...

OR

You can go here and subscribe to the blogs by email or RSS...

The email option on this page means the days blogs (sometimes a day or so late) come as one (the 2,3 or 4 posts in the one message)...

OR

You can unsubscribe from here altogether, stick www.paulgiovanni.com on your favourites, type what you want to read about in the 'Search' box and pick and choose your blogs...



Currently listening :
Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols
By The Sex Pistols
Release date: 1990-10-25

You know...


Current mood: HELLO SIR...
Category: HELLO SIR... Music



you're in a music studio when you open the kitchen cupboard to find a mug and instead you find this...




Currently listening :
Shake Your Booty/Unstoppable/Fight the Power/Don't
Release date: 2007-01-30

Good reporting...


Current mood: YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?????
Category: YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE????? Music




Currently listening :
Appetite for Destruction
By Guns N' Roses
Release date: 1991-07-01

Passing the time....


Current mood: SEEING CLEARLY....
Category: SEEING CLEARLY.... Life



HOW SPIFFING!!!!

It's 21 minutes past 12 midday and having polished off the spare can from the seven of last night and now I'm well into the wine..


I used to do this shit all the time, and only now have I've realised I simply can't get away with it anymore...


No boss, if Mrs Giovanni were here (or at work a little closer than France) she would have sniffed the aroma of booze by now and be on the phone bothering me about it...

Shit, she's probably smelt it anyway but is having too much fun to make the call...


'ARE YOU DRINKING ALREADY???'

'OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! I NEED TO FOR MY GENIUS'


But Inch by inch, it's been ruled out...


Yes boss, the sad truth is that these days, I usually have to wait until she's gone to bed before extracting the bottle from the hiding place. I then have to drink it quick, then rush sobering up (so i don't smell too bad) before bed...


WHAT IN THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE'S DOING CRAMPING MY ARTSY CLEVER BRAVE CREATIVE DRINKING STYLE?!?!?

Probably trying to save my liver and ultimately my ass...


MAYBE I SHOULD FILL THE HOUSE WITH BOOZE AND CHANGE THE FUCKING LOCKS!!!!

She'd be mighty furious when she returns, but then it'd either a molotov through the letterbox or her walking off with the Mini G, thinking:

'THANK GOD THAT'S OVER WITH!!!'


Or both...


I guess there's no choice but to do the heroic thing...



Currently listening :
Power
By Ice-T
Release date: 1990-10-17

TONIGHTS BIG DOGGY ACTION!!!! (pt2)


Current mood: SHARE THE WEALTH....
Category: SHARE THE WEALTH.... Music



The second Royal Albert Hall anecdote concerns one of the few times I actually went to see my sister play at a venue near the Hall...

I think this must have been in some kind of hall or concert hall within the Royal College.

It could have even been her graduation ceremony...

My memory of some things is very poor indeed...


Anyway, I was in the area for a do of my sisters and I'd got there a touch early...

And I'm wandering about looking for something to do.


To fill in a little of the background:

This is 1994 and I'm living here in London, but I have no idea what I'm doing here or what is where.

I'd originally moved here for 'saving the world' reasons (there was a roads campaign over in Leytonstone and Wanstead)
I then stayed on to be nearby my girlfriend of the time..


Well, as per now, I didn't then spend a huge amount of time hanging with my sis or for that matter hanging with anyone...

No boss, we get on from a safe distance and I'm probably only going to this College do because my Mum and Dad have told me I HAVE TO GO!!!


Truth was, I never much liked going to my sisters do's..

I've always had a very strong sense and idea of what I WANT TO BE DOING and if (as a child) I had a pound for each time I was dragged along to a concert or a musical or something 'to see my sister play' I'd be very rich indeed.


To get around this curricular imposition, I would always take a book along.

My mother hated it, but I can out stubborn most people, so each gig I'd have a copy of
a bird identification book or a book about skulls or rocks or Amazon Adventure, or Whale Adventure or perhaps even Gorilla Adventure - basically, whatever was blowing open my coat.

I'd then sit quietly bored in my seat and read, whilst whatever was happening on stage happened...


Anyway...

This London do I am as per usual terminally short of cash and even though London wasn't then as expensive as it is now, it was still super dear..


Well, I'm walking away from the Hall towards Kensington High Street, and I walk past a phonebox and as I'm passing it, I notice what appears to be a large pinky coloured purse on the floor of the box...

I keep on walking...

I get 5 or 10 yards the other side and my curiosity gets the better of me. I go back into the box and pretend to make a call whilst lightly kicking the purse - it jingles MONEY...


Well, as if my megalomaniacal paranoia needed anymore highlighting, I'm fearful this is some kind of TV stunt..

Yes boss, Beadles About is a big TV show at the time and given that I'm in posh town London, I figure there must be some hidden cameras somewhere, and as soon as I pick the fucking purse up some cunt is gonna jump out of the bushes and start badgering me about moral choices...

But fuck it - I'm skint, and it appears that there could be money in the purse..


So, I pick the purse up and walk...


A hundred or more very paranoid yards later, I decide there are no cameras or cheery fucking TV presenters and I stop and look inside the purse..

There are two compartments

The first contains a little small change and the second contains a nice wedge of £50 notes and a receipt for a coffee percolator..


Now if this were to happen today - and something similar (though not quite so lucrative) did happen recently, I'd pocket it all without the slightest qualm.

Yes boss, this is Kensington, there's nothing in the purse except a BA reciept - it obviously belongs to some rich bitch who was out doing a little shopping - we're probably talking someone so fucking inbred aristo, she'd make the fucking Royal Family look handsome..


But then, I was rather weighed down by my peasant morals and the idea of being good and honest....


Well, I kept the purse, didn't mention anything to the family, saw my sisters do, bought a 4 or 8 pack of Guiness with some of the cash on the way to my girlfriends, and left her with the decision, whilst i got drunk...

She decided we had to give it in, so the next day we took it to Peckham Police Station and then a month later we went and got it back because no cunt had claimed it..


I gave her half the cash (it was about £287), and spent the rest on an all black mountain bike with state of the art hyrdraulic brakes...




Currently listening :
So Tough
By Saint Etienne
Release date: 1993-03-09

TONIGHTS BIG DOGGY ACTION!!!! (pt1)


Current mood: I’M AN ACTOR!!!!
Category: I’M AN ACTOR!!!! Music



So...

Rather than being a proper mans MAN out FUCKING!!!!

I elected to spend my RockAnRolla evening in the most polite of company at The Royal Albert Hall
listening to sea based classical music topped off with Tchaikovskys dying breath...

Yes boss, when my friend John called me a week or two ago and said he'd got a spare ticket for The Proms I was amazed..


For one, I am notoriously unreliable in answering any of the 5 phones in this fort...

And for 2, the whole idea of going to The Proms wasn't something I considered to be the kind of proposition John might be offering me...

No boss, John is a few years younger than I am, but he already has 3 children..


This reality has always amazed me..

He, Heloise and me were all at Art School together, and children most certainly WEREN'T ON THE FREE AND EASY ARTSY CURRICULUM!!!

No boss, when they told me they were due, so pothippyart addled was I, that my best response was:

'I didn't think that was possible..?!?'

But it was - and then it was again - and again...


So today, after sitting in on 4 hours of an excellent session at Gizzard Studios
, I headed on over to Kings X and met John off the train...


We took a beer, watched a crate fall off a passing truck (it sounded like a car crash), and chewed the fat...


We were both very impressed with the Olympics and Usain Bolt.

We expressed our fears that the Republicans are too professionally cynical to loose to the Democrats in a cynically political climate

And we ordered breakfast...


Now, as you might have guessed I have a few anecdotes about The Royal Albert Hall
..

Yes boss, what i don't have an anecdote about, really isn't worth mentioning - I am after all a man of the world, who collects clever anecdotes for a 9 ta 5...


So, before we get onto the meat, here we go with the first...:


My sister Rachael studied classical music with a passion

Yes boss, somehow this generation of the Giovanni's is very musical despite the previous one not being at all so...

Rachael liked to play the piano, the violin and to sing...

She graduated up through the grades, played in the Eastleigh Area Schools Orchestra
and then the Southampton Youth Orchestra.

After securing a place on the Specialist Music Course at the Peter Symonds College
, she then got a much coveted place at The Royal College of Music..


Now perhaps some of you are thinking:

'YOU GIOVANNI ARE A LYING CUNT!!! You claim all this rootsy down to earthiness poor shit, but in fact you're from some poncey middle class family with trust funds and horses...
'

But no, my Dad fixed cars and then fork lift trucks and he finished his working days as a storeman at a technical college. Meanwhile my mum was a housewife and the only reason any of us have progressed in the world is because of religious hard work and PIOUS FUCKING HARD WORK!!!


Anyway...

The Royal College Of Music
is just down and around the corner from the Royal Albert Hall and my sisters course required that her concert performances were completed inside this epic venue...

Well, one time she'd done just such a performance, and whereas I was off saving the world somewhere, my mother and father were there lending their usual quiet support...

The gig played, they were taking a photo of their daughter on the steps at the back of the hall - a proud shot for the family album...


And Michael Cane walked into shot...

Yes boss, we have the photo (though I don't have a copy right here and now)

There is Rachael looking all pleased and proud in the foreground - and in the background is Michael Caine in a long black overcoat looking to be in something of a hurry...



Currently listening :
Box Set 3 - Live With Ginger Baker / Roforofo Fight / Alagbon Close / He Miss Road / Everything Scatter / Ikoyi Blindness [RARE]
By Fela Anikulapo Kuti

An Explanation...


Current mood: EXPLAINING MYSELF....
Category: EXPLAINING MYSELF.... Blogging



People often say to me:

'Hey Paul James Deman Giovanni £rd AKA Futureproof Pious - I really like your clever, humourous and incisive writing.

I also like the good bands, labels and acts you draw my attention too...

BUT WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THAT LAST BLOG:

'Henry Car....(women have all the power)'
ALL ABOUT???


'Well, that's a good question and thanks very much for asking it....' I reply

Truth is, when I woke up this morning, I didn't truly know the answer...

No boss, that number was produced the wrong side of a bottle and half of wine on an empty stomach - it was therefore the work of my addled subconscious and not something that's easy to explain...

However I didn't study cultural theory at art school for 3 years and come out unable to unpack the apparently insane rantings of a minor league artist like Giovanni....

No boss, I CAN PULL DEEP AND PROFOUND CULTURAL MEANING OUT OF ANYTHING!!!!


So, here we go with the meat ANSWER....


The title is pretty easy to understand.

Henry

refers to Henry Miller.

At the time of titling, I would have been looking at the book Sexus.




Now, for those of you who haven't read this, let me tell you that the masculine heroics of Henry in this book are truly fucking incredible!!!

Yes boss, Henry spends large portions of this book wandering about New York having sex with all manner of women, often in twos and threes. He claims to make them orgasm multiple times on multiple occasions and he does this all in a very matter of fact way - as if he's just popped out to he library for a packet of fags....


But it doesn't end there...!


No boss, Hank then goes on to write about his antics with such precise beauty and FREE power, that you ignore the fact that he's made his wifes life a terrible misery, barely even mentions his baby girl, and is the kind of man most normally considered to be a GRADE A CUNT

Instead you bow at his genius altar...

AKA

Henry Miller makes PG£ feel overawed and COMPLETELY FUCKING JEALOUS!!!!


Car

Well that refers to the track My Red Hot Car which is the track in the video.

In this instance, Car is also portrayed as being a material and profound example of the MALE BIG ALPHA MALE FUCKING PERSONALITY!!!


(women have all the power)


Refers to my belief that women do indeed have all the power...

Now, I understand this claim could be a contentious one, so I'm gonna leave it dangling for a few days or perhaps even a few years before I can gather together sufficient balls to fully address it (especially considering that around about 2/3rds of this blogs readership is female...)


STUPID MONKEYS

This refers to monkey not enough sex men in the video...


So...

If we put all this together with the lyric

'I'm gonna fuck you with my red hot CARRRCCKKKKK!!!'

You've basically got a primal scream from the brave inner child of Giovanni!!!

Yes boss, this is clearly a knowing but bitter acknowledgment that though like Squarepusher, I can sing along to a spunky tune with the lyric

'I'm gonna fuck you with my red hot CARRRCCKKKKK!!!'

I am in fact home alone drinking wine and dousing my passions...


Yes boss, though a man of my talents should clearly be swaggering it about with his RED HOT CAWWWKKKKKK!!!! delivering HIS fantastically creative semen to all and sundry - at the time of that blog, I was in fact at home alone and not out fucking half of East Londons trendy art set in a genius like way..


So, the nub here, is that though at times I think I am, I am not in fact Henry Miller..

No boss..

I AM PAUL PIOUS JAMES DEMAN GIOVANNI £RD!!!

And my idea of a good evening (when the wife's away) is to sit here at PG Towers, drink a bit, read a bit, listen to some music, virtually chat a bit and maybe later (if I'm feeling REALLY FUCKING MANLY!!!!) make a toastie...


Anyway, I'm just getting started on this evening drinking program, so i'll probably be along with another silly blast in a short while..

This is however the VERY LAST time I will explain myself - in future you're just gonna have to do the maths yourselves...



Currently listening :
Anthology
By The Salsoul Orchestra
Release date: 1996-11-26

Sunday, 14 September 2008

Henry Car....(women have all the power)


Current mood: STUPID MONKEYS....
Category: STUPID MONKEYS.... Music




Currently listening :
My Red Hot Car
By Squarepusher

The near latest from Lee...


Current mood: WOOF!!!
Category: WOOF!!! Music

Currently listening :
I Should Coco
By Supergrass
Release date: 1995-07-18

Gobby...


Current mood: SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!
Category: SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!! Music



I sometimes think of my proper job title as being 'Professional Gambler'...

And the only reason I feel able to claim something so silly, is because I generally loose more than I win...

At least so far...


Yes boss, I'm currently re-reading what must be my favourite book for the umpteenth time...

Sexus by Henry Miller...



It's been 4 years since I've read it, and it's lost nothing - in fact it's taken on a whole new light and I'm finding exceptional new bits...


'I was approaching my thirty-third year, the age of Christ crucified. A wholly new life lay before me, had I the courage to risk all. Actually there was nothing to risk: I was at the bottom rung of the ladder, a failure in every sense of the word.'


Well, I'm half way through my 33rd year and I'm not quite so downbeat on my success as Hank, but occasionally you put a mirror up (apart from when leaving the house in a bad tracksuit) and see how things look and I guess I'm doing that just now...


Yes boss, Mrs Giovanni is away on business
in the South of France, so I have time and space to really indulge myself without having to hide the bottles and DO THE WASHING UP!!!


Within 48 hours of her last expedition, I'd lost my bankcard, £15 in cash, my favourite handmade scarf, become embroiled in an argument with a bouncer, spent some time screaming at the canal, made CHG1
and captured The Chairs Of Pop Power...


I saw none of that coming - who knows what these next few days hold???


I know I have endless wine, 3 days observation at Gizzard Studios
, a night at the proms, and (if I'm not hiding) the Eugene Machine at the Luminaire.....

I'd imagine I'll also probably pose around the flat in my Keagan shorts
, scream at the canal some more, shit on the walls, play the music VERY LOUD, watch a few films, pretend to cook, keep on reading Hank + a bit of PJ O'Rourke, make a lot of mess and try and get to the bottom of just exactly what is going on....?!?


So, the usual...



Currently listening :
The White Room
By The KLF
Release date: 2008-01-01

I WANT TO SHOOOOOOHHHOOOOOT THE WHOLE DAY DOWN!!!! (_Pt3_)


Current mood: BLACK!!! BLACK!!!!
Category: BLACK!!! BLACK!!!! Music



So, I'm back home and as D:REAM once said - THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER!!!




In order to restore calm, I have a pile of ironing, and the TV with Disaster Porn on 2 or 3 of the news channels.

Yes boss, this is about 1pm GMT - Hurricane Gustav is due to hit land somewhere near the Big NO any minute!!!

And if this motha is anything like the hype says, they'll be rooves a-flying, big bangs a rattling, and park benches a-floating down the high street before afternoon tea!!!

As if that's not enough to keep my attention, there's the last day of the football transfer window on Sky Sports News..


The current trend in UK football, is for teams to be bought by foreign billionaires and used as private playthings...

Yes boss, it's 2008 and every super-rich cunt the world over seems to want to buy an English team, buy all the worlds best players and pay them £150,000 each a week to kick a fucking ball around a park...

Of course no-one likes to look too carefully at where all this money comes from and how those who own it behave - which is handy because if anyone did, there'd probably have to be something a kin to a re-run of the Nuremberg Trials - and no-one wants that...

Instead we want to see BIG £$£$$$$$$ MONEY DEALS be made AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE!!!

WE WANT DRAMA AND BIG £$££££$$$$$ SUMS BEING BROKERED!!!

WE WANT BROKEN CONTRACTS, ENDLESS SMILING SENSATIONS (have you noticed the money smile) AND SILLY PROMISES OF ENDLESS SUCCESS!!!!

WE WANT TO SEE SO MUCH MONEY$£$£$£$£ LOVE, WE REALISE THAT THE DAY THE BAILIFFS COME IN IS THE DAY TO KILL ALL OUR FAMILY AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!!!


So, with both TVs primed - all I need is some good background music...

I browse the cassettes and find the perfect fix...

It's called Up Front 9

It features:

Model 500
St Paul
Loretta Holloway
HEAVY D AND THE BOYS (whatever happened to Heavy D??)
&
Phase II

It's a 'DOUBLE PLAY SINGLE CASSETTE'!!!

It has 'FULL LENGTH 12" EXTENDED AND REMIXED VERSIONS'!!!

It 'INCLUDES BONUS CLASSIC GROOVE'!!!!

It's serious




WOOHOOOO!!!!!!


Well, I settle into it, and start ironing the towels...


BBC News 24 starts with what appears to be a climbdown on Gustav.

Yes boss, it's down from a Cat 3 to a Cat 2 and I'm getting the feeling it's been deliberately over played to get people tuning in and admiring the new evacuation procedures...

THE WIND DOESN'T EVEN LOOK THAT CHOPPY!!!

THE WATER IS ONLY GENTLY LAPPING THE TOPS OF THE LEVEE'S!!!!

SHIT!!!


With Hhhy G not performing the levels of wholesale destruction I'd been lead to expect, I start lapping up the apparent tug of war between Manchesters City and United for Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov...

This very morning, Manchester City have been quick bought by an Arab who has 10 times as much money as Roman Abramovich!!!

And now, THEY'RE GONNA BUY EVERYONE!!!

TWICE!!!

AND WIN EVERYTHING!!!

TWICE!!!!

AND THEN WIN EVERYTHING AGAIN!!!!

TWICE!!!


This is good.

And though I'm becoming infuriated with Mrs Giovannis frilly and hard to iron clothes, I feel I'm recovering well - my levels are returning to normal - once again I'm starting to think optimistically....


I then find out I'm gonna have to be paying TAX on my grapey I Bronca wages...

ITALIANS TALKING SERIOUSLY ABOUT PAYING TAX?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WORLD COMING TOO?????



Currently listening :
Platinum Collection
By D:Ream
Release date: 2006-07-31

I WANT TO SHOOOOOOHHHOOOOOT THE WHOLE DAY DOWN!!!! (_Pt2_)


Current mood: ROUGH AND READY!!!
Category: ROUGH AND READY!!! Music



Yesterday, when my troubles seemed so far away...



So, I looked like an idiot and once you know that yourself everything else becomes harder...


My first outdoors stop was the letterbox, and it was in there that I found a nasty letter which had (and still has) the potential to wipe out all the financial improvements made by the previous days PROGRESS...

Yes boss, after what must about 4 months of stupid finances - of forever playing catchup and frequently finding myself watching 4,5 and 6 days going by without even having the cash for a shitty bottle of gut rot wine - I finally got the light at the end of the tunnel..

AKA

some nicely paid work in the Italian sun....


Yes boss, in little over 2 weeks, I'm going back to work for I Bronca...




Now regular readers will remember, i did this 2 years ago
, and then I had a big old whale of a time...

Yes boss, it might not sound like much, but it's the kind of work that allows and encourages drinking fizzy fucking wine all day long FOR FREE!!!

It also allows a reconnection with the earth, a change of scenery and in Italy more often than not....

THE SUN FUCKING WELL SHINES!!!

AND I START TO FELL LIKE DANCING!!!!




But here's a question?!?!?

Why is it so often the case that the minute you solve one problem, a fresh one comes right along and smashes you in the chops????

Yes boss, it was all looking so sweet - a few weeks where I could get by OK, a few gigs, a few studio sessions, a night at the Proms, some miscellaneous bullshit and then a flight to the sun after when my important debits could be covered...

But then hours after booking the plane, i get this shitty letter which threatens it all...


Well, I was more than annoyed by this development


And I was even less pleased by having to run the gauntlet of construction workers sniggering....

Yes boss, these fishy flats are currently being extended by 8, and recently the car park has been plagued with construction workers. And these folk seem to see themselves as fashion pundits..


Now quite where they feel they get the authority from is beyond me - I mean have you seen their idea of clothes?!?!?



I MEAN LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR WHY DON'T YOU!!! I MIGHT HAVE HAD A FASHION DISASTER CAUSED BY TRYING TO HARD, BUT YOU'RE WEARING A FUCKING FLORESCENT YELLOW JACKET, A WHITE HEAD BLOB, COWBOY BOOTS AND YOU'RE COVERED IN FUCKING SHIT!!!!


Well, with one thing and another, my mid-morning embarrassed shuffle to the bank and back was loaded with worries of all kinds. However, no-one punched me, and upon return I was determined to recoup what i could of the day..



Currently listening :
Manifestation
By Big Youth
Release date: 1990-10-25

Saturday, 13 September 2008

I WANT TO SHOOOOOOHHHOOOOOT THE WHOLE DAY DOWN!!!! (_Pt1_)


Current mood: WOOOBAHHH!!!!!
Category: WOOOBAHHH!!!!! Life



Before Sire Bob Geldof set about saving all our futures, he did a song with his mostly forgotten band, The Boomtown Rats about how he disliked Mondays...

It's a pretty ordinary number, but since Sire Bob has become Mother Theresa, it gets aired every few years at some ginormous concert, just before Annie Lennox appears holding an African, after when she lecture sings a number off her new LP that usually sounds worse than a dying cat...




Now, quite how Sire Bob has managed to make an entire career out of one rather flmisy pop song and a big old bag of charity work is something to be admired or hated - but whereas I aspire to his level of megalomania with deep and great longing, I don't generally share his fear of Mondays..


No boss, I've never had a distinct problem with any one day of the week..

Instead, I tend to find they all roll into one after another, and presently, I find I'm suffering a disproportionate number of Saturdays and Sundays...

Yes boss, every time, I check the day of the week, it's either a Friday or a weekend.

It's wierd - I can't remember there having been a Wednesday for some time now and the last Monday would have a bank holiday and I HATE BANK HOLIDAYS on account of my nearly always having to use a bank on them....


Today has however been a Monday in the vein that Sire Bob so joyous sings about and I'm now going to bore you with it's details....


Things started badly...


Having spent 2 weeks in my yellow trousers, I spent a tasty 3 days wearing a very small pair of Kevin Keagan style white shorts and a tight white t-shirt saying FEEL THE MUSIC!!!



It was a king sized outfit - a kind of male bikini, which made me feel both tropical, handsome and vibrant at all times!!!


Yes boss, down the years I have engaged in plenty of research as to what clothes, looks and accessories solicit the best admiring and fun looks from passing ladies, and though I usually swear by a suit with some kind of an artsy twist to be the best - this white outfit, combined with a white bangle and sandals now tops the charts!!!!

(Of course, some of the looks I recieved were laced with amusement - but once you get that smile, the job is done...!)


Anyway, today it was too cold for shorts, I therefore reluctantly ditched them and got my fake red Nike Jordan 23 Air tracky bottoms out.

Now, the main problem with these red trousers is they're a touch small.

Yes boss, they make my legs look shorter and fatter than they are, which if I were female would almost certainly rule them right out of the wardrobe with no hope of parole!!!

However, though I'm clearly vain, I'm not as vain as even an average normal thinking woman, so i let them live....


I added a
matchy matching red and black t-shirt, an ill fitting dark blue Kappa tracksuit top and a baby blue fake Nike Air Jordan 23 baseball cap for good measure, and feeling well and set, I prepared myself for the outside world...


Before leaving, I checked the mirror one last time and felt everything was passable.

I then headed bankwards on the off chance I might be able to get some money out..


IT ALL LOOKED FINE....


BUT IT WAS ALL WRONG!!!


Yes boss, it was as I was walking downstairs and looking at myself in the acres of fishy glass, that I realised I looked like a complete and utter FUCKING TWAT!!!

Yes boss, I was starring back at my reflection and couldn't quite believe the mess...

Somehow, I had mutated from being a white hot sex god, into some kind of dirty, shifty looking redblue blob in less than a day?!?!?


I considered going back and changing into something less stupid, but I couldn't do it...

It was horrible and inevitable...


Yes boss, there are some days when you're walking around KNOWING you look FUCKING ridiculous, but are somehow powerless to correct the situation - even though you have ample ability to change your own clothes..?!?!?


IT'S HORRIBLE!!!!


And that was just the start....



Currently listening :
Mr. Bassie
By Horace Andy
Release date: By 1998-06-09

The process of development...


Current mood: RUN RUN RUN.....
Category: RUN RUN RUN..... Music



The last blatant steal I'm gonna take from last weeks NME is this...




It's a Henry Rollins telling us all to like The Fall...

He is of course right - The Fall are one of the few continually important bands that have kept things fresh and lively despite (or probably because of) regular ignoration...


But I'm not sure what I make of Rollins.

I've always liked his brutal honesty, but I do at times find up limited....

Yes boss, I saw him play Reading in (I think) 1994 and didn't much like his fooling about - I was looking for the kind of set that DESTROYED THE CROWD!!! But he was monkeying about and I didn't feel it fitted the music he played at all...

I then saw him do his spoken word thing sometime around the late 90's and really enjoyed it. He talked for 3 hours without even taking a sip of water - it was an epic and it was very very funny...

But then, I also see the point an old acquaintance of mine once made

'I've never understood what Henry Rollins problem is??'

I mean you know he's a sweetheart deep down and probably very very soft - hence all the bulk and tatoos.

I'm always therefore wondering if there's gonna ever be a Hank Rollins unplugged?!?!

When he slims down, stops wearing black, stops body building and fucking well relaxes???


I guess you could also wonder if Mark E Smith is ever gonna chill out and/or embrace the mainstream - but I don't spend too much time pondering it, because I don't reckon there's any chance of that happening now...

I think he came closest to it in the 'Brix' period Fall, the records were selling, the sound was pretty close to commercial and there was a clear window to step on in and be adored by the masses....

I get the impression, his wife and band mate was the thurst there.

I reckon she was able to exert some pretty considerable though very subtle, (I find women are great at this) pressure on Marks stubborn old head...

The Fall were almost on easy street - but in the end Mark triumphed, they split up, she left the band and Mark ploughed on down his own resolutely uncompromising route...


The thing that puts Mark E Smith over and above the likes of say Billy Childish
in my eyes, is that he's always moved with the times.

Each Fall album is different and each shows a nodding knowledge of how sound has evolved and developed....

And having got my teeth into Childish and his work this last 6 months or so, I'm left with one big question:

Why this resolute 'NOTHING AFTER 1970something!!!!'

It strikes me as being a weakness in the work - an unwillingness to progress and instead this continual repetition of what he knows..

Hundreds of paintings, hundreds of woodcuts, hundreds of pretty similar sounding records...

Quantity is one thing - but I criticise Oasis for continual repetition of the same working formula, and don't see what that critique shouldn't also apply to Childish...

I'd love to hear Billy working on a laptop or in a 72 track digital studio. I'd like to some plastic in his work, some adverts, a computer, some magazine gloss - an artists job is after all to reflect the times he lives in and not just the times he likes or is interested in...


Bukowski is the same. I read 4 or 5 books of Bukowski poetry about 10 years ago and kinda realised that there wasn't going to be too much different in the other 10 or however many their are nowadays, so I stopped reading them..

I found that each has a few blinding poems, a handful of very good ones and then a load of samey filler on the same themes...

I know that's something approaching blasphemy in the alt.literary circles of today - 'BUKOWSKI WRITING FILLER?!?!?' IMPOSSIBLE!!!!.

But it's how I see it.


Now, don't get me wrong - I like both Bukowski & Childish a great deal - what they do, they do very well indeed and they're head, shoulders, knees and toes above most of the other crap out there.

I admire their discipline against more or less blanket ignoration over many years.

And I like the fact they've always done what they like to do and not worried too much about anything else - all their work is genuine and felt.

It's all done for the survival love...

But I also like to see adaptation and development and I reckon Mark E Smith has achieved both...


So Viva Mark E Smith and
The Fall!!!

Smith has a side project on the go these days that has (as is nearly always the case) it's recieved next to no publicity and attention despite it being worth 3000 Kid A's...

It's called Von Sudenfed

And here's my favourite track thus far...



(And thanks to Princess Stephen
for the reminder...!)


Currently listening :
Tromatic Reflexxions
By Von Südenfed
Release date: 2007-06-19

Disaster Porn...


Current mood: WINDY....
Category: WINDY.... Music



Well, the waves have barely started lapping the New Orleans coast (apparently they've just ripped through the tobacco fields a small island called Cuba - maybe god's pissed off with communists and smokers again?!?)

But the disaster porn has already started on the 24 hour news channels....


And I have to admit that I'm lapping it up here on Fish Island...

Yes boss, the only times I bother tuning into the news these days is when there's either:

1) A big natural disaster
2) A big political event
3) A big and intriguing high profile crime


And currently there's all 3...

McCain has stolen a march by getting a good and down to earth woman on board...

Meanwhile by getting the old fuck on board, Obama has made a BIG bad move....

Yes boss, you can see the thinking behind it - appeal to the fucking dinosaurs, but it would have been far more powerful to get Hilary on the ticket...

Obama and the dinosaur look to be about as awkward a date as Condoleeza Rice and - well anybody...

Yes boss, it's my opinion that if America is gonna survive as a world force, it needs to get super liberal and quick - China can do 'SEVERE AND NASTY' so much better than The US and there soon won't be room for 2 actors with the same party trick...


The big UK crime of the moment is this one (CLICK FOR THE DETAILS)..




It's gonna be one of those iconic crimes...

The nouveau riché cunt and his family is either killed over money, or goes mental under the pressure of credit crunching debt as Britain goes down the economic tubes..


Oh, and if you want to have the vaguest of ideas as to what's in store for those in the path of Gustav, I PG£, have an idea for a very good simulation:

Get your stereo/speakers as close to your bathroom as you can..

Play Casa Hasa Giovanna 1 from the beginning on FULL BLAST...

During the first track Fish by Mr Scruff set up your desktop fan/fans in your bathroom and get your waterproofs on...

Next start and mix in CHG No9 from around about the 21:35 point FULL BLAST!!!

Turn the fans on FULL BLAST!!!

Get inside the shower wearing all your clothes (be sure to leave the shower door open)

Set the shower running FULL BLAST!!!

Then start throwing all the shampoos, creams and cleaning implements around whilst persistently screaming

'OH MY GOD!!!!'

E VOILÁ!!!!

The Gulf Coast of the USofA!!!










Currently listening :
LE Voyage Initiatique
By Pierre Henry
Release date: 2005-02-28

And...


Current mood: DEMANDING!!!!!
Category: DEMANDING!!!!! Music




Currently listening :
The Miracle
By Queen
Release date: 1991-10-22

Watched....


Current mood: TWISTING AND TURNING....
Category: TWISTING AND TURNING.... Music



40 down to 23 of Wacko's top 40 tracks on TMF Music...

It was presented by David Guest who sat there surrounded by pictures of Wacko and was forever relating the incidents that happenned between him and his great friend Jacko..

A lot of them happenned in Guests kitchen...

BY THE SOUND OF THINGS, GUESTS KITCHEN IS THE PLACE TO BE!!!!

FUCKING HELL THAT MAN'S WIERD!!!

For a while I didn't mind him, but then he got a bit much and when this song came on (it's about Jackos pet rat Ben - who Guest had met on several occasions) I was finding the whole thing a little too much to deal with...



(On the show it was a slightly different performance - but it was very similar, and this one also freaks me out)

Before turning over, I was waiting for something from Off The Wall

Number 23 was Rock With You with Jacko in a wonderful spangly silver suit and even though it's not one of my favourites, it was enough - I switched to the football...

Now, I've just found this version of 'Ben'



Well....

WOW!!!!



Currently listening :
Bad
By Michael Jackson
Release date: 1990-10-25

Happy Birthday MJ....


Current mood: POP.....
Category: POP..... Music



Morals are wierd...

There's basically a cut off point with most people...

If a moral crime is far enough in the past (no matter its gravity), it can be ignored, whereas if it's in the present or near past, a moral position has to be taken and worn like a badge...


Unfortunately for the unfeasibly 50 year old Jacko, he's currently in that 'near past' zone - his problem is that his alleged crimes are considered to be actual in many peoples minds - and I'm certainly in that camp...

Yes boss, whether you believe Jacko is innocent of kiddy fiddling comes down to what you instinctively believe, and I believe there's too been much smoke for there to be no fire at all...


But I'm not mad at him...

No boss, I certainly don't condone any such crimes, but I also don't think many people have any idea what kind of pressures someone in that position has to deal with day in day out...

There always has to be an outlet, a pressure release valve of some kind, and sadly for MJ it appears it hasn't been drink or drugs, but the worst crime of the times...


The thing that annoys me is the hypocrisy with it all...

Yes boss, I'm certain there are many people who heavily suspect Jacko has at some point had his hands where they shouldn't have been, but who'll say he hasn't and IS INNOCENT!!! simply because he's never been found guilty in a court of law..

Such people will say he's innocent because they believe in the rule of law - that the courts verdict must be respected!!!

But what it boils down to is them believing in the power of good lawyers...


Yes boss, most people who've seen the law up close and personal know it's inherently corrupt and flawed as an idea..

Good and expensive lawyers get you off and bad and cheap ones don't - if it wasn't so, there wouldn't be cheap or expensive lawyers, there'd just be lawyers....

The enlightened know that the law can be - and is - bought and sold, depending on who you are and what your bank balance is...


But having good lawyers doesn't always get you completely off the moral hook...

No boss, even though Jacko had the best guys on the case and he won - many people still instinctively feel he's guilty and he therefore remains persona non grata...


But I'm willing to bet Jacko'll be back with another HUGE album before he dies...

And either then or after he's dead (should he die prematurely), you can bet your arse, many who currently poke moral dejection at him will see things very differently...

Yes boss, I reckon then there'll be a whole queue of current day finger pointers talking about his undisputable legacy, and his groundbreaking importance that never went away, even though he was forever associated with 'unproven' allegations of misconduct...

The reality of morality, is that people forever change their moral position and these changes have everything to do with keeping a clean and respectable face and fitting in with the way of the crowd, and nothing whatsoever to do with genuine and honest ideas or ideals of right and wrong...


So, I'm therefore sure that when the 'near past' zone has been properly cleared (and providing there are no new allegations) Jacko will once again be lauded as a genius by one and all!!!

But I'm not gonna wait that long to state the bleeding obvious...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MJ - YOU'RE ONE CRAZY MIXED UP KID, BUT YOU'RE MOST DEFINATELY A GENIUS!!!





Currently listening :
Off the Wall
By Michael Jackson
Release date: 1999-06-11

Monday, 8 September 2008

BREAK YOUR HEAD!!!!


Current mood: HEAVY...
Category: HEAVY... Music



NIGHTCLUB NIGHT PROPOSAL NUMBER 2


The idea is to have people leave the club in pieces...

I'm thinking really turn it into a very proper experience - to really get inside people heads and break them down - it would be one step off torture...

The sound would be really heavy in such a way that there's no quiet place to escape and regain composure - a bit like the recent MBV gigs but for 4 or 6 hours..

VERY VERY HEAVY MUSIC AT A VERY VERY LOUD VOLUME!!
+ the right kind of drugs...

It would be the kind of night you could only mentally cope with once or twice a year - that would take a few days minimum to properly recover from...

Something like Torture Garden?? No, this night wouldn't be at all sexual or deviant...

It's all about mental (asexual) intensity - a kind of semi-religious experience...

The start point would be this..



Oh, and weren't Gravediggaz
so much better than the more famous Wu Tang Clan..????


Currently listening :
6 Feet Deep
By Gravediggaz
Release date: 1997-09-16

Have a look at this picture....


Current mood: FEISTY!!!
Category: FEISTY!!! Music






Is it The Beatles?!?!?

Or perhaps Oasis trying once again trying to look like The Beatles?!?!?

It's neither, it's The Last Shadow Puppets trying to look like Oasis, trying to look like the fucking Beatles...


GOD THESE CUNTS ARE DULL!!!

I MEAN, THE LACK OF IMAGINATION EXHIBITED BY THE CURRENT CROP OF INDIE POP STARS IS TRULY FUCKING STAGGERING!!!


But it gets worse - do you know where I got the picture of the picture??

The NME used it to illustrate a piece about the top ten bands who could pull a crowd into a festival tent..

Last Shadow Puppets: No1

JESUS CHRIST - PASS ME THE FUCKING PILLS!!


Everyone keeps going on about how nice a man Alex Turner - about how everyone in the 'business' thinks he's just spiffing...

WELL I THINK HE'S A CUNT FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT ANYONE WHO HAS THAT NUMBER OF PEOPLE SNIFFING HIS ASS AND SMELLING ROSES HAS TO BE A CUNT!!!!


Oh and whilst we're on the subject of imaginatorially inept fucking idiots - I was also just reading about how Oasis are gonna play an 'intimate' gig in New York...

INTIMATE?!?

IT'S FUCKING INTIMATE BECAUSE NO MOTHA WOULD SHOW UP IF OASIS PLAYED ANYTHING BIGGER - THEY'D BE ROWS OF EMPTY FUCKING SEATS!!!!


But Paul, you said the other day about how seeing your friend Andy dancing to The Strokes in red high heels and an artists smock
had made you realise that all music had it's value and different things meant different things to different fucking people...

FUCK THAT!!! I WAS JUST BEING NOSTALGIC!!!!







Currently listening :
Bricolage
By Amon Tobin
Release date: 1997-06-03

The Padstow Lifeboat...


Current mood: ....REFLECTIVE....
Category: ....REFLECTIVE.... Music



My parents were of the opinion that listening to well worked instrumental music
was a better influence on their son, than long haired oiks singing about not being able to acquire satisfaction...

So as a teenager, I didn't have much access to pop music at all

Instead it was Moods In Brass and Themes In Brass and Great Military Bands On Parade...

They were all cassette double packs and I'd play them on rotation to block out the noise of the 2 main roads that cornered in the Giovan-house and the endless hours of practice my sister would do on the piano and violin..

My brother Colin was into Chas 'N' Dave, Paul McCartneys : The Frog Song, TV Theme Tunes, Football Songs, and the cheesier end of pop music...

For my sister, it was classical and musicals...

Meanwhile, my eldest brother Nigel had already left home, because his enjoyment of Queen, Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd together with his electric guitar playing didn't quite fit in with the Status Quo...

My favourite brass band tune was called the Padstow Lifeboat

It's a wonderful piece of music, full of ebbs and flows and strident horn noises.

I can't find it on youtube, so instead, here's the sight of the Padstow Lifeboat launching....



No, fuck that...

Here's a rather poorly eq'd mp3 off my old cassette...


SHIT, I NEED TO GET THIS ON VINYL!!!




My brother Colin....


Current mood: HOW TO DO IT....
Category: HOW TO DO IT.... Life



is a genius...


His mother died of meningitis before he can remember her, leaving our dad with 2 kids...

It turned out Colin (the youngest) had pretty severe learning difficulties and when he was young, they gave him barbiturates because he had one hell of a temper...


My dad then married my mum and then she fell out with my eldest brother Nigel over rock music, smoking and long hair...


Colin stayed home until late and then he fell in love with Denise who is 15 years older than he is...

Denise had polio when she was very young, and was then mowed down by a car on a zebra crossing...


If Colin had been born 'normal', he'd have been a very effective businessman and then gone into politics...


And you know what???

He's done it anyway....


After he married Denise, he bought a flat in Southampton for £40,000...

A few years later that was worth £80,000...

He sold it and bought a terraced house for £120,000

He then sold that at the peak of the market for £145,000


He's got in and out of the property market at just the right time...


Now Colin and Denise live in sheltered accommodation, pay small rent to the council and are spending their profits...


They've been on 3 cruises inside a year...


Some members of the family have suggested they shouldn't be spending their money on such things - that they have to think about the future....

And this is the main problem with the Giovannis, we find it hard to keep our mouths shut on the contentious matters - out of love...


Tonight Colin phones me.

'Some people have been saying we spend too much money on the cruises, so next year we're doing it differently...'

'Oh yeah??' (I'm thinking they're going to go for a weeks self catering in Devon for £300)

'We're moving cabins from the £2000 ones to the £1600 ones - I'm not going any lower than that, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!!'



Currently listening :
Gold
By Ella Fitzgerald
Release date: 2007-10-09

Talking of The Pride Of Spitalfields


Current mood: TOUCHÉ
Category: TOUCHÉ Parties and Nightlife



I've long had a score to settle with the East London Advertiser over their mis-use of a photo I took very early one morning......




Basically what happened was that one night our Living Room AKA The Pride of Spitalfields was firebombed in what was assumed to be a racist attack by Asians against whites, but that was more likely kids being stupid...

Well, that night we weren't in The Pride.

No boss,
with my tragic attempt at an affair with Katie having polluted the waters a little, we weren't playing the incestuous freak family living on Brick Lane game with quite the same gusto as we'd been doing previously...

At the time of the attack, I was however still up farting about making up business successes in my head and dreaming....

I therefore saw the fire engines come in, and knowing there couldn't be much on fire down that street except The Pride, I rushed out the door to see what was going on...


And there it was - the joint was in fucking flames!!!

OUR FUCKING LIVING ROOM!!!!

BURNING!!!


Well, with the emergency services dealing with the fire, I nipped back indoors, tried and failed to wake Andy & Sarah, returned outside, took a few photos, had a chat with a bunch of Asian youths about the flames (more on that later), and then (once the flames were out) got on the blower to the local papers and my old friends at the Evening Standard to sell the story and my pictures of it...

Yes boss, there's no point in crying over a burnt down living room...

A positive must be found!!!


Well, the local paper, the East London Advertiser was interested.

I emailed them my pictures and told them I wanted the fee to go to the barmaid we all knew and loved who'd been injured in the attack.

I then emailed this to them so they had that in writing and couldn't try and weedle out of paying...


Well, to the best of my knowledge no money ever arrived direct to her and it certainly didn't ever arrive in my bank account...


So, ever since then, I've been looking for an opportunity to get revenge on those cheap cunts for stealing my picture...

Yes boss, I have big ears and like an elephant, I never forget...


Well today, I was walking past Mile End Tube and I saw this appalling spelling error by guess who???




So, I quickly snapped off a few shots and upon returning home, emailed the pictures to Mrs Giovanni at Big Pictures
.

She's now syndicated them to all UK newspapers, and given that journalists are generally terrible bitches, I'm hoping one or two might buy and help me bring scorn and shame on their shitty little rival The ELA...


Yes boss, since that business with Sienna Miller a few weeks back, the celebs have been putting the screws on the paparazzo's.

Now private yachts and boats are considered to be 'private property' and are therefore out of bounds, so, these kind of 'isn't life strange' pictures, together with animal stories are what's selling the best...


Anyway, the basic point here is that you don't want to fuck with the Giovannis!!

OH....AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CHECK YOUR SEPLLING!!!!!



Currently listening :
Screaming for Vengeance
By Judas Priest
Release date: 2001-05-29

Up early....


Current mood: PUBLICISE ME A RIVER....
Category: PUBLICISE ME A RIVER.... Music



means a lot of blogs...

Yes boss, I might well go on a rush - I have 2 litres of extremely sugary fake coke in la frigo and I'm gonna need every last drop in order to keep with it.

I'll be flying by midday and extremely irritable by the mid afternoon...

NO FUCK THAT, I'M GONNA GET EXTREMELY IRRITABLE RIGHT NOW!!!!


Thing is, I've just been to the library and read this weeks
NME...

Yes boss, I should know better, but old habits die hard...


Now we all know The NME isn't what it could be - for a start they don't have a column by me the GREAT Giovanni and for a second they cover far too many COMPLETELY FUCKING CRAP BANDS WEEK IN WEEK OUT!!!

Yes boss, so poor is this paper, that yesterday I went to the library to do read this weeks issue and I got half way through the copy on display before realising I had in fact read that fucking copy last week...

That boss, is the uniform crapness we're dealing with here...


Anyway, today they finally had the new copy in and it was mostly about the Reading and Leeds festivals..

And within that there coverage I was faced with a whole page about the return of Rage Against The Machine


Now you know I hate to sound like a smug and self promoting cunt, but when i was a lad, I saw that lot play their very first UK gig as support to Suicidal Tendencies....

This would then have been something like 1991 and no cunt knew who they were because it was before they'd even released their first LP and at that gig, they recieved a fair ammount of barracking from the Obama's because they didn't look very 'metal'...


I however saw what was going on and openly advocated them for a lot of my protesting youth. I stole their first LP from HMV who were at the time owned by an arms company and saw them playing LIVE many times.

To stay true, I also bought this here t-shirt - it was of course a bootleg..

FUCK YOU I WON'T BUY WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!! etc




So, Giovanni loved RATM...

But then I grew up a little and though I still don't mind the odd blast of Rage, I kind of see the limitations to a band who claim to be all about Ché and Guantanamo bay, but are signed to Epic and who make big money comebacks...

Yes boss, now I have Rage in the same category as Primal Scream: Career rebels who are absolutely in love with the idea of 'the rebel' they then market the hell out of it worse than a fucking soap powder does whiteness...


What specifically enraged me today was their theatrical gunatanamo thing.

Yes boss, as part of their act, RATM have moved on from standing naked with letters on their chest, to wearing the infamous orange shiuts and hoods...


They appear to think that pulling this kind of a stunt is in some way going to bring political pressure onto the US government to close the hellhole that is guantanamo bay...


But for me, turning something as serious and stupid as gunatanamo bay into a fucking cabaret act for which you're getting paid vast sums of money is just sick..

Yes boss, every cunt knows what a gunanny bay victim looks like and a bunch of well paid musical cunts turning up to a party dressed in the outfits to ensure their show is visually striking are just STUPID FUCKING SELF SEEKING CUNTS!!!!


Trust me on this one. having been one myself, and knowing the kind of people who get involved in 'REBELIOUS' things very very well, I smell a healthy level of denial hidden under political beliefs megalomania going on here...

Yes boss, such folk are very good at giving the impression it's ALL ABOUT THE CAUSE!!!

But it is always about the ME!!!!!!


As if anymore proof of this were needed, I think this quote (providing it's accurate) shows the ragers up as being the deluded fools that they are...

'Is it a coincidence that in the seven years since RATM have been away that the country slid into right-wing purgatory - i think not...'

Yeah Tom, all that Bush Doctrine happened because you weren't playing your fucking guitars loudly....


So...

RATM 2008

FUCKING SELF PUBLICISING SELF FOOLING CUNTS!!!



Currently listening :
Trojan Box Set: X-Rated Reggae
By Various Artists
Release date: 2002-11-19

Friday, 5 September 2008

The joys of tape...


Current mood: FILLING UP THE HOUSE....
Category: FILLING UP THE HOUSE.... Music



Well, thanks to Freecycle, I'm enjoying a cassette tape renaissance...

Yes boss, after copying a few onto mp3, I ditched nearly all my cassettes about 8 years ago and I haven't thought too much about the format since..

But recently a few very interesting batches have appeared on the popular recycling network and I've not been able to help myself but to DIVE ON IN!!!


The first lot I got is mostly reggae, dub, pop and soul.

There's a whole bunch of old stuff and some decent mixes - the kind of stuff you simply can't get on cd (and what would be the point??), and if you want it on vinyl you'd better have the money MOTHERFUCKER!!!!




The second lot is everything from classical stuff right through Henry Cow, The Smiths, King Crimson, Ella Fitzgerald, Zappa and Gong...



With this second lot, I also got a rather nice Sony deck on which to play them, so my pink Barbie karaokee machine that pulses because I'm using a 9 volt adapter rather than the required 6 volt one, can now take a well earned break...




Via this self same route, I also picked up a big old stack of The London Review Of Books which is basically a rather intelligent and weighty newspaper in which bored career writers write about one anothers books...


The only sad news is that I just missed out on the mug printer, which was to come with some blank mugs, ink etc...

I'm afraid you'll all therefore have to wait for your Giovanni mugs for a little while longer...

Sorry, I feel like I've let you all down...((



Currently listening :
Trojan Box Set: Dub
By Various Artists
Release date: 2002-08-06

How I learned to love The Strokes...


Current mood: RECONCLUSIVE....
Category: RECONCLUSIVE.... Music



It's 2002, and I've arrived in London, after spending a year in the wilderness (literally)..

Photobucket

I am out of musical touch...

Yes boss, despite regular trips to buy records, I'm about as off with current music and cultural happenings as I've been since I was 12 years of age.

I'm keen to catch up..


As luck would have it, I find I'm living in just the right place.

Specifically, in a flat above Epra Fabrics on Brick Lane at the top of Fashion Street in East London..

Now, until moving there I had no idea that the area had become quite so hip and jaunty.

No boss, at that time, I knew the south and center of London pretty well, but could count the number of times I'd been to that bit of the East End on two fingers.


Well, to start with, I both liked and hated this new found East End fashionability.

Whereas it was always a pleasure to see Gilbert and George shuffling past with their eyes open, it was much less of a pleasure to see the identikit artists in their mullets pretending to be important and CRAAAYYYYZZYYYYY!!!!!!




But all told, I was happy: It was central, there was music happening and it was completely different to looking at this kind of thing all day everyday as I'd been doing previously...

Photobucket


So, for the first year in London, I was living with Andrew, Sarah & Katie.

Between them they had sought, found and paid the deposit on the flat.

Andrew and Sarah are a couple who I've known since art school and Katie is Sarahs sister.


Well, in order to balance things up, I soon set about doing my absolute level best to get into Katies pants, despite her having a boyfriend called Mat.

No, actually, that's not accurate...

I was hopelessly infatuated with Katie in a way that can only ever lead to disaster..

Yes boss, it was a shameful Giovan-performance that appeared to start when Matt gave me some Ketamin on the night I moved in.

I think from that I figured he'd given me K (Katie) etc and therefore set myself along the road to building an entire mythology around this girl involving the letter K and the number 23....

Yes boss, in my book, every good relationship/encounter has to have a good mythology about it, constructed out of numbers and letters and coincidental happenings...

Of course, I wouldn't necessarily recommend this approach, and on that occasion, this clever and well worked mythology didn't work out - instead it creating a fucking terrible old mess...




So..

Sarah (a very talented painter) worked a day job in a high class jewellers in Bond Street and Katie worked for an architect in Angel and whilst they were at work, Andy and I would do whatever we felt like doing.

We were of course supposed to be working our genius...

Yes boss, Andy is an extraordinarily talented painter and you already know about the talents I claim for myself, and we were both in London to try and make good on these skills.

However, we spent very little time directly practicing our arts in that first six months....

No boss, our average day would work as follows:


I'd wake up, change the music that had been playing all night (I was enjoying listening to music all night AND all day), I'd then look out of the window to see what was happening...

Providing the street was quiet, I'd then repair to the kitchen where Andrew and myself would spend 3 or 4 hours drinking tea and discussing whatever needed to be discussed.

Sometimes we'd listen to the radio and Andy would sing along to pop songs.

Other times, we'd fight over the copy of 'Birds' magazine that had arrived. (Andrew and myself were and are both fascinated by birds - being able to talk about the plumage differences betwen Rock and Ortolan Buntings whilst our other artsy friends discussed Post-modernism or some such crap - was part of how we first got on)


Once we got bored of tea, I'd nip back to my bedroom and pretend to run my record retail business.

This usually entailed me phoning the banks and credit card companies with great tales of the HUGE AND BOUNDLESS SUCCESS!!! of my business..

In exchange for these rather large stories, they'd agree to increase my credit card/loan and overdraft limits...


My work for the day done, Andy and myself would then either repair to the Off Licence and/or the pub (most often The Pride Of Spitalfields AKA The Living Room (we don't have our own)) where we'd continue our conversations..

Katie and Sarah would then join us when they'd finished work and we'd all stay in the pub talking complete horseshit until we got kicked out at around about 1am

Andy and myself would then finish the day off in the kitchen until whatever time was appropriate (sometimes moving back onto tea if the booze had run out), meanwhile the girls would go to bed so they'd be up for work again the next day..


Repeat.


Of course Andy would get a whole load of grief about this kind of a non-working carry on from Sarah, but as long as I made the rent (which thanks to the banks regular generosity I invariably did) I didn't...


So...

One day I woke up, changed my music, took a look out of the window and wandered into the kitchen in order to start on the usual routine, whereupon I found Andy dancing away to The Strokes.

Now, this wasn't unusual.

Andy loved The Strokes.

He played a battered cd copy that belonged to a friend of Katies at least once a day and sometimes many times a day. He knew all the words.

In fact, one of Andy's many talents is his memory for songs - as far as I'm aware he doesn't own a single record himself, but he knows the lyrics to more or less every pop song you care to mention and if he's in the mood will happily sing along..


What was however different about that particular morning was that Andy was dancing and singing along whilst wearing a pair of red high heels and an artists smock. He was also drinking wine form the bottle...

Now, feeling in something of a more serious mood myself and not quite sure such behaviour was appropriate for the hour (most likely I was already trying to second guess the contents of that days Katie texts), I declined to join in the dancing and instead headed for the kettle as per the normal schedule...

Without missing a beat, Andy moved out of the way of the kettle and continued as he was - perhaps even raising his enthusiasm a little.

I then got on with making the tea whilst switching between looking out of the back window onto the building site to see if there was any evidence of the pair of Black Redstarts, and then back at Andy's dancing whilst trying to work out what was going through his mind....


Now even though I wasn't hugely surprised to see what I was seeing, I did feel quite embarrassed by the whole situation.

Andy didn't however appear to be at all ashamed.

No boss, Andy is an incredibly natural person and if he wakes up of a morning and feels the need to dance to The Strokes in the kitchen, clad only in an artists smock and a pair of red high heels, whilst drinking wine, that's just what he does, without any regard whatsoever as to how anyone else might perceive or interpret such a move...

That was and (were I to still know him) still would be one of the things I love about Andy...


So,.., getting to the point...

Until then I'd been very, very unsure about The Strokes.

Yes boss, at the time, it was bloopy and bleepy electronic music that was flying my flagpole and not that much else, and when hearing them on a daily basis, I'd essentially found The Strokes to be rather thin sounding and hugely over-rated for what they were.

But as I stood there, and poured the water on top of the teabag, i couldn't deny the effect they were having on Andy. And because I liked Andy and generally respected his pop music taste, I found a whole new world of appreciation for the band to be opening up...

I mean, if they were inspiring someone to dance about in an artists smock and red high heels first thing in the morning, having what appeared to be an absolutely wonderful time, they must be doing something right musn't they...?!?!


The result is that ever since then, I've had a very great affection for that first Strokes LP...


And I guess the thing I learnt there and then is that music means a whole host of different things to a whole load of different people and that to say one thing is better or more valid than another is on one level at least a complete and utter waste of fucking time.....


Which, makes me wonder why I've been writing critically about music for the last 2 years...

Oh well...






Currently listening :
Is This It
By The Strokes
Release date: 2001-10-09

The bullet with my name on....


Current mood: HITTING THE TARMAC!!!!
Category: HITTING THE TARMAC!!!! Movies, TV, Celebrities



So, in case you're of the opinion I make all this shit up, here we go with my heroic getting shot in the leg and dying painfully scene from

Seconds From Disaster: The Munich Olympics





Superior thanks go to The Official Artist
to Paul Giovanni £rd for tracking it down on you tube and posting it on over...




A night with the Somalians (pt3)....


Current mood: EDGY!!!!
Category: EDGY!!!! Movies, TV, Celebrities



At about 2am, everything is winding up...

And after having had shit all to do for hours except slowly drink beer and chat, Kevin and I finally get a parade of Somalian Big Wigs and performers who come to talk to the camera about how wonderful the evening has passed and how good an advert for Somalian culture it had been...!!

Some of the interviewees appear a little surprised to see a coupla spindly white guys on the job, but everything is jovial and buzzing and we get done what has to be done...


When the last interview is complete, we pack up the gear and noticing that the music has turned from more traditionally African sounding music to more fierce and disjointed 'grime', I go down and take another good luck at what's happening in the main hall...

I've got the right kind of wristband, so I can stand at the side of the stage.

A whole bunch of people take it in turns to rap and take their piece of the action. I notice that the line between performer and audience is becoming very blurred indeed and the atmosphere feels a lot different to how it felt to start with...

As the music JARRS AND GRINDS, it isn't long before there are surges and rushes within the crowd...

A couple of small fights break out.

It's nothing too much worse than happens down any English main drag of a Friday night and a lot less bad than what happens at a Slayer gig, but the atmosphere is getting a bit too edgy and it's not being helped by the fierce and jagged beats blasting out of the PA ...

With my job done, I'm getting the feeling it might well be worth leaving on the off chance that things become heavy - but at the same time I've still got that writers desire to stay to the end and see what happens....

And I also need to get paid...


When another crowd surge and fight kicks off, someone grabs the Mic and says that's it - THE PARTY IS OVER!!!

The lights come up, and I move towards the dance floor to see what's happening. There's still a bit of the scuffle, but the friends are already moving in and calming things down...


So, with everything having apparently petered out, I go back upstairs and start collecting the gear together.

Mo tells us to take it downstairs to the car.

I do so, with some angst. I'm feeling a little drunk and tired, and now that it's settled in, all the excitement of the minor scuffling has made me feel a little uneasy and on edge - and now I have to walk outside with a huge heap of expensive fucking gear and I've just remembered I also have the £300 in my pocket...

Yes boss, it's one thing swanning around mild danger when you can run, but quite another when you're loaded down with kino lights and fucking great big camera bags that don't belong to you that are worth thousands of ££££...


Anyway, it's my job to do as I'm told and I want to get paid, so I wander down and out through the heaving crowd.

It's heavy going - everyone is trying to get out and I'm in the middle with all this fucking gear - worse than this I've lost sight of Kevin or for that matter any of the rest of the crew...


By the time I get outside, I'm feeling properly rattled:

It's raining, I've lost the crew, I don't know where this bastard fucking car is into which I'm supposed to be delivering the gear, I have £300 in my pocket, I'm surrounded with and hemmed in by Somalians - some of whom remain agitated, the police have started turning up in numbers, and the atmosphere is bad all round...

I walk around in circles, the crowd isn't dissipating, I and the gear is getting wet and THERE'S STILL NO SIGN OF ANY OF THE REST OF THE BASTARD FUCKING CREW OR THEIR FUCKING CUNTING CAR!!!


I decide to go back inside.

I get to the front door, but it's closed and the bouncer is in front of it.

I tell him I need to go back in.

He says 'No-one is going back in'

I tell him I NEED TO GO BACK IN!!!!

He tells me that 'NO-ONE IS GOING BACK IN!!!!'


I move away again, and start to panic. I have gear getting wet!!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT AND WHERE IS THE CUNTING CAR????


Well, there's another good 10 or 15 minutes of my aimless and nervous wandering around....

I think about phoning Mo, but for some reason - as far as I can remember 'no credit' - I can't do that, I look for a car, but there are no cars and I and the gear gets wetter and wetter by the minute.......


Eventually, someone comes up and asks if I'm Paul..

'YES!' I say...

'WELL COME BACK IN HERE, WE'VE GOT SEARCH PARTIES OUT LOOKING FOR YOU - WE THOUGHT YOU'D RUN OFF WITH ALL THIS GEAR!!!'


So, with the aid of this guy, I get back in and there is the whole rest of the crew sitting around chatting like it's Sunday afternoon. They all look relaxed and easy.

I'm wondering 2 things:

1) WHAT ABOUT THE BASTARD FUCKING CAR!!!.
2) THANK GOD THAT'S OVER WITH!!!!


Mo, looks a little furious and then relieved to see me with the gear...

'Where did you go???' He asked me

'Out to the car - you told me to go out to the car...!' I replied, realising I was still shaking a little..

'I told you to go down to the BAR!!' he replied...


Well, after another half hour of waiting, Mo paid us all (I was surprised he paid me, and I wouldn't have argued if he hadn't.) and that was about that....


Before leaving, I thanked Mo Vidz for giving me the nod and he said he'd be in touch if he wanted me to do work for him again...

I figured that was about as likely as Saddam Hussein pet ghost declaring war on China - and sure enough, I've never a word from him since....


And there endeth the story about the time I worked for Mo Vidz...




Currently listening :
The World’s Heaviest Dubstep Grime and Bass
By Various Artists
Release date: 2007-06-12

Notting Hill Carnival....


Current mood: suitably uplifted...
Category: suitably uplifted... Music



It's taken me 33 years to make it over to this rather wonderful event, and having finally done so, I don't have too much to say about it except that it's as good an advert for multi-culturalism and immigration as you'll see - and that I advise everyone who hasn't yet been, to GO!!!!

For all of you going next year, here are my top tips:

1) Piss (REALLY EMPTY THAT BLADDER!!!) before leaving the house
2) Drink spirits (and buy them well before you get there) - drinking beer nullifies the object of point 1. It'll also mean you drink warm beer and/or pay outrageous prices/queue for cold cans...
3) Take cash - don't expect to find a cashpoint with either money in it or a queue shorter than 50 people..
4) Don't think it's amusing to ask a copper to wear his tit and then pose for a photograph...
5) Hide your drugs well - there's a fair amount of stop and search
6) Eat drink and be merry...

Oh, and here are some pictures of the carnival fish...














A night with the Somalians (pt2)....


Current mood: killing time
Category: killing time Movies, TV, Celebrities



So, I park the bike and meet up with the some of the rest of the crew...

Mo introduces himself and tells me that the event is to be a celebration of the Somalian New Year (Mo is half Somali and half Saudi)

The plan is to film the proceedings using 4 different camera crews from which a DVD will be made..

3 of the 4 crews are to be down in the main room and the fourth is to be upstairs away from the action. That crews job is to do interviews with some of the key figures in the UK Somalian Community as well as the acts performing...


Mo, introduces me around and tells me what I have to do...

The job is pretty simple. It's carrying bags, labeling the tapes, keeping an ear on the CB, and doing the odd run to the bar for the cameraman...

I feel good and ready...


It's 10 or 15 minutes later, that I realise one of the cameramen looks familiar...

He appears to recognise me as well - we're both doing that quizical look????, as we try to filter through the memory banks to understand where and when we might have met before...


We work it out.

I held an umbrella for him when we were both working on an episode of National Geographics Docu-Drama series 'Seconds from Disaster'

To cut another much longer blog short, I played the part of a terrorist called Tony who gets shot during the Munich Olympics debacle in Germany in 1980..

It's one of the few extras jobs I've seen and have a copy of...

It was a good night out.

I got to carry a real gun, jump out of a helicopter, get shot and then lie and roll about screaming in pain at 3.30am at an airfield on the outskirts of London, that was pretending to be Munich.





Then, once my being shot and dying painfully was done with, I held an umbrella for this guy I was now in Stratford with, as they filmed the other scenes and shot off the guns some more...


So, me and this guy start chatting away like we've known each other for years and probably because of this, we get paired up and sent upstairs to do the interviewing bit...


I'm quite pleased about this.

For 1, it sounds like the easiest of the available jobs and for 2 having done it before, I feel confident I can work with the guy without any problems...

The only disadvantage is that we're gonna miss the party downstairs, and though I'm a little scarred of what might transpire, I'm also intrigued...


The thing is, there are 2 stereotypes I know of concerning Somalians...

The first is that they're an inherently violent people, and the second is that all Somalian women are impossibly beautiful...

Now, I would have put both of these notions down as being pure crap, if I didn't then know a Finnish film maker who was married to a Somalian woman, who'd told me all about both aspects of the culture.

It's a very tribal set up there he'd told me, violence can be quite casual.

Needless to say, he also believed in the beauty thing...


All this so, I still wasn't and remain unconvinced that it's possible to be that general, but if either myth was even half true, the evening down below could well turn out to be a very interesting one. And though I'm completely terrified of violence and beautiful women, I also quite like the idea of watching both from a safe and secure distance...


Well, as the evening progressed we were basically left upstairs with nothing to do...

We sat and chatted about football and film making and all the usual crap.

Kevin told me that Mo had made his rep doing Grime music videos, but that he was now sick of the violence and trouble of doing them and was looking to branch out...


Occasionally I'd repair to the bar for more beer...

When down there, I'd look about for the action, but about the only interesting thing I'd seen after 4 or 5 hours was that no fucker was drinking.

No boss, Somalia is generally Islamic, there was therefore no demand for alcohol at all, and never before or since have i found it so easy to get served at such a crowded venue...


That aside, everything seemed to be happy and completely quiet...




Currently listening :
Long Live the Chief
By Count Basie Orchestra
Release date: 2006-01-02

Thursday, 4 September 2008

A night with the Somalians (pt1)....


Current mood: MORE FILMY FUN....
Category: MORE FILMY FUN.... Movies, TV, Celebrities



Here we go with an anecdote (in 2 or 3 parts) about the time I got into a spot of bother whilst working as an Assistant Cameraman for a film about the Somalian New Year...


I was reminded of this one, when i saw this here banner advert on myspace...



Yes boss, I'm most often hugely annoyed by these 'BE A FRIEND OF MARK RONSONS SISTER!!' or 'MESSAGE PARIS HILTON!!' banner ads you get these days on the spazz...

I mean, as if Pairs fucking Hilton is sitting there on the end of her laptop just waiting for some spotty little YOU!!! bastard to well message her and say:

'heya hottie...wanna ride wid me??'

or

'Like gee, I really respect you Paris....'


It's fucking ridiculous...


Anyway, a week or so ago, I was getting annoyed by these ads, and I looked closer at one and thought 'WAIT A MINUTE!!! I RECOGNISE THAT FUCKER!!!'...

Here'th follows the story....


So, around about the same time as that Alice in Wonderland film, I was looking at getting involved in film and TV stuff that actually paid me some fucking money..

Yes boss, London is increasingly a filmed city, and you don't have to look too far to find a piece of that kind of action...

Then (and probably still now), the best places I knew to find that kind of work were websites like the incredibly camply titled Talent Circle (I worked for the guy who runs that - but that's another not very interesting story)

Another was the more radly filmicly titled 'Shooting People' (there's loads of stories about events that arose from Shooting People to come)

Anyway, one day I was browsing one or the other of these sites, and I found an advert to work that night at The Startford Rex as an Assistant Camerman.. It promised £50 for the job, and undergoing my usual dash for cash in order to pay the rent, I got onto it's case straight away...


The guy I phoned was Mo Vidz



Mr Vidz answered, and I quickly explained to him that i had no idea what being an Assistant Cameraman involved, but that I was sure I would be able to manage it...

Yes boss, I'm of the definite opinion that in these days of high technology, most jobs can be picked up pretty damn quickly if one has the urge and desire to do so, and drawn by the possibility of the £50 I felt sure I could learn that one as quick as needed to be learnt....


Well, Mr VidZ said he thought he had someone to cover the job, but that he wasn't sure...

We agreed he'd call me back in an hour...

Less than half an hour later, Mr V called and said he hadn't been able to contact the person he thought was covering it and that I'd got the job because he couldn't be sure the other guy would show...

Vidz, told me whatever it was that was happening was gonna be starting at 7pm. I told him Stratford Rex was only about a mile from Fish Island and that I'd see him in a bit...


So, I left here an hour or so early, had some dinner in a cafe and then withdrew something in the region of £300 from the bank.

Now, as I remember it, the rent was due the next day, and I had to move it between accounts - either that or I just withdrew the cash it for the hell of keeping it away from the bank...

Yes boss, I do like to carry cash, especially when sitting under imminent threat of bankruptcy...

I also like to carry large sums of cash in areas considered to be rough or high risk....

I find that doing this, provides a little extra edge and excitement to the day - it also ensures one is concentrating at ALL TIMES on who the nearest random is who might cause problems, therefore preventing casualness or complacency from creeping in...

And besides, when you can put on the kind of vicious frown and crazy 'DON'T FUCK WITH ME!!!' eyes that I seem able to do, you find that more people cross the street to avoid you, than move over to say:

'GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY!!!'



Currently listening :
Straight Outta Compton
By N.W.A
Release date: 1990-10-25

CASA HASA GIOVANNA :::: EPISODE 9 ::::: UPDATE!!


Current mood: naughty.....
Category: naughty..... Music



Well shit, I think I've been placed on the internets equivalent of the 'naughty step' for being conistently crap at paying the bills...

Yes boss, the Giovan-empire is teetering on the financial brink, resulting in the whole of www.paulgiovanni.com
being temperamental to say the least..

I've just checked now and all seems to be back in order, but if you're having difficulties, you can also download this months episode of CHG
by clicking HERE..

Sincere apologies for all time wasted...!)


CASA HASA GIOVANNA ::: EPISODE 9 :::: isn’t nature wonderful....


Current mood: ANTICIPATIOUS.....
Category: ANTICIPATIOUS..... Music



So, here we go with number 9 of 23...


This one's something of a marmite mix:

Yes boss, if you like the sound of the wind and the birds you'll probably like it and if you don't you almost certainly won't...

I obviously love both and have very much enjoyed putting this issue together...


Optimum listening can be had by playing this VERY VERY LOUDLY!!! either through good quality headphones or on the HiFi


And that's about it, except to say that I've had a little trouble with my ftp uploading tonight so hopefully this will download correctly and quickly...

If you're having any problems in downloading drop me a comment or message and I'll post an alternative download site...


So...

Click the picture and you're streaming....


Frizz Records: Further and better particulars....


Current mood: Aims and ideals....
Category: Aims and ideals.... Music



Having only conducted the lightest of general enquiry sessions with Raphael of Frizz Records in between and on top of takes (without any kind of recording device of my own) I don't feel well enough referenced to pull together a piece of my own at this stage - so until I'm better versed, take a read of this piece written by the boss himself, which can also be found on the Frizz Records website

It neatly sums up the ethos and ideals of the label...


WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC IS IT?

People have always tried to put music in categories, to try to describe it, and to make it easier to sell it; but this trend seems to have got stronger in recent times…

…maybe we can blame iTunes, and the Gracenote database of CD track names that won't let you enter a CD in the catalogue without a genre description (from a pre-existing list)? Definitely there is now a generation of listeners, at least in the eyes of marketing deptartments, who can't seem to comprehend music unless they can define it by an accepted genre name…

…is it Indie? Urban? Acoustic? Dance? Silly names! (most 'indie' music is released on major labels, 99% of all commercial releases are recorded somewhere urban, there's plenty of 'dance' you can't dance to, and plenty else that you can…) …but the main deal is that it has to have a name, or it doesn't exist or doesn't make sense…and those crazy fools that, horror, dare to mix, maybe, indie and hip hop…well there's no category to file them in on iTunes, no specialist radio station that can play them…so they might as well forget it…?

The irony is that this same generation is listening to more different types of music than any before…just as long as they know what to call it…

FRIZZ doesn't have a music policy based on genre or style; we subscribe instead to the Duke Ellington Theory: there are only two kinds of music, good music and bad music… We will release anything as long as it's good…

THE ART OF THE LP

When albums were first invented they needed to fit on two sides of a piece of vinyl…

Which meant ideally not more than about 18 or maybe 20 minutes a side, otherwise you'd usually start to lose volume and dynamics (depending on the nature of the music); if you really went for it you could squeeze in maybe 25 minutes a side…anything more than that and it tends to start sounding crap…

So the LPs of the late 50s through to the start of the 80s tended to be 30-50 minutes long…This worked. It was easy to take for granted, but fitting the demands of this format was usually a good thing for peoples' creative juices. Enough time to stretch out a little and explore some ideas, but not so long that it gets boring or over-indulgent…

The best LPs were greater than the sum of their parts, and were best appreciated as a complete work, like a film or a novel, with something extra to be gained from hearing the music in that sequence. Unlike most films and novels, they were meant to be sat through repeatedly, showing new depths each time. Frequently there would be elements designed to grab you on first listen, elements that took a few listens to hook you in, and in the best cases elements which revealled themselves gradually over years of listening…

A great album was not just a collection of songs but a musical world to get lost in…

Most attempts at double albums weren't able to sustain this coherence over their longer running time, with very few exceptions. The single vinyl LP turned out to be the perfect format for sustained musical creativity…

The advent of the Compact Disc in the early 80s brought the potential of a dramatically longer running time of over 74 minutes on a single disc…

This wasn't fully exploited initially, since vinyl was still selling happily alongside CDs, and therefore determining album lengths; but gradually we started to get CD bonus tracks, and then double vinyl holding the same content as a single CD, until eventually vinyl sales dropped so far that most labels weren't that bothered about it anymore, and CD-length albums of 60 or 70 minutes became standard…

I'll lay myself on the line here and say that the number of great, perfectly formed albums that were tailored to this format (ie. they're 55-74 minutes long), and wouldn't benefit at all from being edited down, I can count on one hand…and I'd have a few spare fingers…

I can think of a few jazz and classical works that benefit from the uninterupted playing time; but in the realms of 'popular music' even my very favourite albums of the late 80s, 90s and 00s can without exception be edited down to make a better 40 min record (if they aren't already that short)…

Of course loads of great music was recorded during this time, but I'm arguing that the pressure of offering 'value for money' across a CD has eroded away at the art of the album format to the point where it no longer holds the magical power that it used to…

And right on cue, just as these lumpy, unfocused collections became normal, we were confronted again with new technology…

The possibility of selling mp3 downloads takes away the economic motivation for grouping tracks together as albums. If music no longer needs a physical carrier, then why constrain it into arbitrary groupings as if it did?The positive argument is that this liberates us from 'filler', and from cynical marketing campaigns which sell us an hour of mediocrity off the back of a couple of decent songs; and this is surely a good thing…?

Well yes, certainly a world where people are only sold music that they actually like has an appeal…especially to those raised on the CD-albums of the past 20 years…a true democracy based on musical merit…cool…

So the album is dead?

…well it would seem to be inevitable that albums will become less important, less of a necessary framework that every artist has to fit themselves to. Some music lends itself much more obviously to single-shot bursts rather than lengthy statements; some artists might be much better suited to cutting one, or two, or five tracks at a time rather than twelve; no reason why not (except for the potential marketing headaches perhaps). I can see this giving rise to a more liberated creative process for many people…fine by me…

This doesn't have to mean though that everyone has to stop making albums. Surely the new fluidity of the internet means that for those that want it, the old-style album format can be valid again. At least as valid as any other…

The real enemy here is not evil technology, or armies of teenagers in hoodies killing the music business by stealing music. The real enemy is the myth that our lifestyles have changed, that everyone is so muchbusier now that we don't have time to browse the record racks (real or virtual), or to sit through whole albums gradually absorbing their ideas. We want the songs we like, and we want them now, to listen to on our ipods on the bus! Sadly this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; the more labels and music makers cater to it, the closer to the truth it gets…the fewer albums there are being designed to be be gradually absorbed, the more likely this habit is to die out in most people…

FRIZZ is committed to preserving The Art Of The LP. We believe that there are large numbers of listeners out there (of all ages) with the patience and desire to listen to music, at least some of the time, in longer than 4 minute chunks. So we go out of our way to make albums that work well as albums, and we encourage you to listen to them that way, at least sometimes…

One way that we do this is to make a commitment to the vinyl LP as a format. All our albums come out on vinyl as well as CD (for now) and download. We think LPs are the nicest way to appreciate music, so evenif though they work out much less cost-effective for us than other formats we are determined to keep them alive. We also make your lives much easier by offering anyone who buys any of our vinyl (singles or LPs) the chance to own the same music as mp3s too at no extra cost. So you get the best of both worlds, without the rigmarole of recording the album into your computer or whatever. What more could you ask?

VINYL SOUNDS BETTER

Listen, mp3s are alright…I can email a song to my friend in Australia in a matter of minutes…and it will sound ok…that's pretty cool…

I can go away on holiday, or just get the bus to work, and take 1000s of songs with me on my ipod…this is also very cool…much better than the days of playing the same five tapes over and over for two weeks (…maybe that had a charm…you ended up with albums that became the soundtrack to your holiday/drive to work/spell in hospital/…but just as likely you'd get sick of them and never want to hear them again…)…

Some people would also argue that it's amazing to be able to replace all those musty 12″ sleeves…or piles of broken plastic CD boxes…with one sleek little thingybob that fits in your pocket…or turn up at a DJ gig without those heavy old record boxes…

…I'm not sure about that last point myself. I can see the wisdom, but I also think we're in danger of losing some soul in exchange for the convenience. I like those 12″ sleeves, to me they contain magic…

…but anyway, my point is, mp3s are all well and good; you won't catch me going on about the evils of technology…as long as we don't let it get us too carried away…

The only sense in which I have a problem with mp3s is if you were to argue that they're now the only format we need (…don't get picky on me, I'm using mp3 as shorthand here for whatever compressed digital file format you like - AAC, mp4a, etc., same principle…). Then they're always gonna fall short…

Why? Because they don't sound as good as vinyl. Simple as that…

As a portable format, a way of storing loads of music in a small space, carrying it about…lovely…much better than CDs…

But if we only ever listen to mp3s (or any other digital format, including high quality 24-bit AIFF or WAV files, blah blah…), then we've lost something. An important part of our culture has died…

Most people find it easier to see how a photograph taken using film is better quality than even the highest resolution digital picture. There's a magic to a real photo that a digital image can only ever emulate. The more developed the technology, the better an emulation it is, but it will only ever be an emulation…

The same is true of sound. Audio tape and vinyl are capable of reproducing sonic images in a similarly pure and beautiful way, that digital technology can only ever emulate. Sadly many people, perhaps even most people now, can't really hear the difference, because they've grown up without hearing vinyl, or lived without it for so long that their ears have forgotten. This is a great shame…

FRIZZ is committed to pressing all our releases on vinyl as well as CD (for now) and download. So you'll always have the choice. We also offer anyone who buys our vinyl (singles or LPs) the chance to own the same music as mp3s too at no extra cost. So you get the best of both worlds. That's the future…

PARTNERSHIP

The relationship between artist and label should be a partnership…

The old-fashioned big business music business model of the 60s-90s was grounded in a Faustian pact between record company and artist: we'll lend you a pile of money to make and sell records, and in return weget to own the rights to those records forever…

As an artist, if you wanted to reach a wide audience, you had very little choice

In the world of home-studio-mp3-Web-2.0-iTunes-myspace-last.fm… you do have a choice; making and selling your own music is substantially cheaper to do

So there's no longer a reason for that marriage of convenience to exist, other than familiarity

A record company (or any other sort of investor/collaborator) can offer many useful things: financial backing, practical help and advice, tour support, marketing, networking, design, legal assistance… and in return they should expect to make some money …but that doesn't earn them the right, in our eyes, to own your songs or your recordings…there are many other kinds of mutually beneficial business deal that can be done…

FRIZZ believes you should Keep The Rights To What You Make

QUALITY CONTROL

Somehow we got out of step with the zeitgeist…

2008, If it's anything like 2007, will be all about user-participation, open-source knowledge bases, social networking, the cult of the amateur, collective ownership of cultural resources…

What does this mean? …ever sat in a room with 5 other people not talking to each other because they're all too engrossed in updating their Facebook profiles? That's what you get…

We can all share our photos and video clips on the internet, we can put our favourite songs on myspace, and share music we've made ourselves in our bedrooms with others across the globe, we can contribute to online encyclopedias, become amateur journalists by blogging on topical issues, share our calendars, share our knowledge and interests…and make all this readily available to companies who are eager to tailor our shopping experience to best suit our personal needs…

…of course there's some good in it…the new internet model is great for meeting people who share your tastes and interests, and there are growing resources for creative individuals and small businesses to use…

…but mostly I can't help thinking we're busy creating so much content that anything new and worthwhile is as lost in a haystack as it ever was…and it becomes more and more difficult for people with expertise or aptitude at anything to stay afloat against all this competition…What we've ended up with in the music business, as a result of this fashion, is a culture which tells us that what people ('the kids'!) want is exclusive interactive content - they want to go behind the scenes and see their favourite musicians in rehearsal, on the tourbus, at home…

Do we really? …well obviously, if you like a band and you have the opportunity to see this stuff you're going to look aren't you? Interesting… but will you come away liking the band more? Isn't it a bit like opening your xmas presents the day before…in fact don't even worry about wrapping them up…actually, just gimme 20 quid and I'll get myself something… Takes away all the magic, for me, that a band might hope to create…

Similarly, we have the myth that people want to hear bonus tracks, demo versions, blah blah… Isn't this just a way of re-selling the same record? Obsessive fans could always track this stuff down anyway, and for everyone else all it can do is water down the impact of the original artwork. Even a band as good as The Beatles would have been better off without us hearing their out-takes 30 years on. There are obviously exceptions - some recordings got lost along the way and benefit from the archaeologists…but the process has turned into an epidemic…again, more poor and mediocre content out there obscuring the good things…

At FRIZZ we believe in Quality Control, and we believe in magic and mystery! There will be no acoustic covers of Sugarbabes songs, no session out-takes, or Youtube clips of bands rehearsing in the dressing room. No free bonus exclusive this and that to get you to buy something. Everything we release will be worth having in it's own right…




Currently listening :
Amber
By Autechre
Release date: 2005-06-28

Monday, 1 September 2008

Here’s a repeat....


Current mood: SALACIOUS!!!
Category: SALACIOUS!!! Movies, TV, Celebrities







Well shit,
My Official Artist has just drawn my attention to unarguable fact. That of all the images in the PG£ archives this current one is amongst (if not THE) best...

Yes boss, this one's a gem from the artists pen.

But in this case, only the smudge of lipstick on the lips and the flashy eyes came via photoshop and here's the story as to how and why...


About a year and a half ago, I was looking around for things to do.

Then, my heroic career as a marathon and majestic blogger was merely a twinkle in my back eye. Meanwhile I was dipping my oar into as many other creative and related pursuits as possible to see what took my fancy as a way forward:

Amongst other things, I worked several minor roles in film and TV. I tried to suss a way into magazine writing. I started taking pictures again and did Life Modeling for art classes. I flirted with remixing tracks and did some DJaying..


Well, one day, I was browsing myspazz looking for similar openings, and saw a bulletin add for Male Dancers who'd prepared to dance naked for a short film version of Alice In Wonderland.

Now, this quite clearly sounded like a fucking nightmare job, but for some reason, I fancied it.

Thing was, I'd done naked Life Modeling and also played the very challenging role of a naked corpse for a feature film (playing dead is harder than it might seem), and having successfully passed on both of those, I was curious as to exactly how far I could take the whole naked thing before it became porn...


So...

I messaged the advertiser and said I had no idea how to dance, but that I'd do it anyway if they wanted me in..

They did...


So, at the very first rehearsal, there were 4 or 5 sheepish looking guys in their late 20's and early 30's and about 5 girls in their early 20's in the room:

Us guys were to be the dancers and the girls are the film-makers...

My first thought was: Why in the hell didn't I think of this when I was at art school? Instead of trying to create the aural atmosphere of bicycle races on CD I should just bastard well said:

'Look, I need 8 beautiful naked women to reenact a scene from The Hound of the Baskerviles wearing only makeup and tinfoil shinpads. If you're interested call me on 077--==.]'/..


Anyway...

The deal was this. We had a minute of air time.

In that minute, the girl playing Alice was to climb from underneath a table, whereby she would find us boys naked, except for see through aprons and blonde wigs - we'd be covered in flour and doing a synchronised dance with the rolling pins...

BLIMEY!!!


It was on the second rehearsal that we got naked.

By then one of the boys had chickened out, and I was beginning to wonder about the wisdom of taking part.

Yes boss, I realised then, that if I danced naked, on film, in a blonde wig with a rolling pin, any future career
as The Ofiicial Assistant to Bono Vox or even as Prime Minister
, would be doomed to failure the minute my opponents found the clip.....

But shit, it was too late - I'd started, so I'd finish....


After we'd done that first run through, I took a look around...

The girls looked both embarrassed and thrilled.

I (as all men would do) then took the customary look across at what the other boys had to offer....

'WELL SHIT!!' I thought as my eyes drifted across at each of their midriffs...THIS CAN'T BE SO - THIS IS COMPLETELY FUCKING WELL STATISTICALLY UNFEASIBLE!!!

Yes boss, there in that room were the only 3 men on the planet more well endowed than Paul Pious James Giovanni £rd!!


We did the actual filming a week later in this house in Clapton, East London.

It was an ordinary terrace house, except that Sunday, the kitchen had been covered in flour and there were 4 naked men wandering around in blonde wigs and see through aprons...

After chronic disorganisation, we got the job done, and I headed off to Camden to DJ, keeping on my gold face as some kind of a 'Look at me!!!' party trick...


Well, a year and a half on, and I've never seen the finished work and neither do I want to. I did recieve an invite to the initial screening in a Shoreditch bar, but I was in hospital on another medical trial and couldn't go.

Whatever it achieved I don't know. I certainly admired the ambition of the film and it was some kind of a buzz in doing it...

It was however the end of my career in film.

Yes boss, upon completion, I realised, that after nearly 2 years of trying, I'd taken ham-acting and extras work as far as it could possibly go - it was time to move onto something new....



Currently listening :
More Songs About Food and Revolutionary Art
By Carl Craig
Release date: 1997-04-22

City OF COD....


Current mood: FISHY FISHY.....
Category: FISHY FISHY..... Music



A few days ago I got a myspazzing comment from a record label called Frizz Records
it read thus:

Hello Paul

Thanks for the add and the ugly picture of a dog with a man's head
If you are on Fish Island, as in Fish Island E3, then we are neighbours

Enjoy the music!

Raphael



Well, even though I'd rather it wasn't the case, other people do live here on Fish Island.

I was therefore thinking that perhaps Raphael was living in one of these here Yuppie flats...

But no, it turns out that the Raphael lives a mile or so away in Mile End and the studio (where the vast majority of the Frizz output is recorded) is here on The Island

Yes boss, the Gizzard Recording Studio
is less than 100 meters (as the vodka bottle flies) away from this fishy fort...


Basically, you come over the moat..



past the welcome sign on the left....



past where some drunken fool has graffitied this (also on the left)...



And there on your immediate right, sat next to the Ghanaian Church (outside which a young man was shot last year) sits the studio....


Well, I've walked this very route almost everyday for the past 3 years and never have I heard or seen a murmur to suggest music was being made there...

No boss, it never ceases to amaze me how one can completely miss things...


Anyway, today, I made up for lost time and popped on over to get a more thorough grasp of both the studio and Frizz Records, and here follows what came next...


The first thing worth mentioning is that this isn't just any studio it's an almost completely analog one that uses tape - 16 track analog tape as opposed to computers...

Yes boss, there's no 64 track Pro Tools digital mixing going on in this control room. There is a back up computer for use in emergencies, but the vast majority of the work is undertaken the old fashioned way...


This interest in this back to basics approach is reflected in the ethos and recordings on Frizz...

Yes boss, what initially attracted me to this label was the manifesto attached and the fresh sound of the recordings...

We believe in combining the best of new and old techniques for making music. We think there's something special about vinyl and recording onto tape. At the same time we like to make friends with new technology, and we use it when it helps...

FRIZZ is the best of both worlds...buy the vinyl to listen at home, or play out, and get the mp3s free...

FRIZZ doesn't have a music policy based on genre or style. We subscribe to the Duke Ellington Theory of music categorisation...


So, having introduced myself, I performed the usual Giovan-drill:

Yes boss, I lurked about quietly in the control room, asked the odd question, took the odd photo, and took it all in...



(The filling cabinet on the left is the reverb unit and the tower block just along from it is the 16 tracks...)


The result of this days work is that I've decided to follow Frizz Records
on their inevitable rise upwards...

Starting with a full introduction, that I'll get on with in a minute...



Currently listening :
A Tale of Two Cities
By Mr. Hudson & the Library
Release date: 2007-03-12

Follow the umbrella....


Current mood: Yeah....
Category: Yeah.... Music





I couldn't be bothered to go..

I'm loosing interest.


I went to that bar for some other 'free drinks' which was some kind of a launch of the Big Chill Festival Eastnor


(FUCKING EASTNOR?!?!?)...


I was chatting to the PR girl about what was happening and why I was there and she was telling me about another festival her company were promoting in a zoo in Kent.


Yes boss, the festival dollar is being so heavily pedaled in 2008, that any £$£$£dollar going is a good dollar£$£$£$..

If it's in something approaching a field (+ novelty) with the opportunity to charge some gormless cunts ££££££ for the privilege of standing listening to a bunch of stack'em up high and sell 'em long artistés party like it's 1999..


That festival (headlined by Mark Ronson) flopped
..

Apparently their weren't enough toilets....


At that last presentation the champagne was awful sparkling wine and there was no possibility to exchange it for a beer...

So I downed my alloted two glasses quickly and left...


Currently this country is swamped with people who think drinking low grade champagne is one step off heaven...

And that's another thing I've barely got - it's mostly badly fizzy fucking wine...





Currently listening :
The Return of Dr. Octagon
By Dr. Octagon
Release date: 2006-06-27

In case you were wondering where it might be....


Current mood: YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP....
Category: YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP.... Religion and Philosophy



I'm happy to confirm that earlier on today, I discovered the grail...





Yes boss, after years of searching for the one true way, I finally hit the jackpot!!!





And you know where it is???





Yes boss, that's....



.

Currently listening :
I Am a Bird Now
By Antony and the Johnsons
Release date: 2005-02-01

Parrot night....


Current mood: BRIGHTENING UP BRITAIN!!!!
Category: BRIGHTENING UP BRITAIN!!!! Goals, Plans, Hopes



NIGHTCLUB NIGHT PROPOSAL 1:


Upon arrival at the venue, punters pay their entrance fee and agree to have their mouths taped up with gaffa tape.


They are then issued with one of these battery powered swearing parrots...



From then on, the punters are then only permitted to communicate via the battery powered parrots, to a backdrop of jungle sounds...


WHEN THE BATTERIES RUN OUT - YOU MUST LEAVE!!!


Anyone who tries removing the gaffa tape and/or replacing their parrot batteries is EXPELLED BY THE BOUNCERS!!!!




Whaddaya think???



I’ve always liked mail...


Current mood: THE MALE....
Category: THE MALE.... Life




When I was young I used to send off for everything...


First of all, I had a 'Cars' phase, during which time I'd send off for loads of brochures about cars.

I got a good collection going..

Dealerships would phone and ask if I wanted a test drive, but my mum would field the calls and say i was only 12...


Then there was a 'Trainers' phase...

I wrote to all the sportswear manufacturers requesting catalogues...

Upon recieving documentation of the whole Puma range, I was astonished to see that no boots had been named after legendary Southampton & England goalkeeper Peter Shilton?!?




I wrote an indignant letter to Puma asking why in the hell they hadn't named a boot thus...

They replied saying 'Wouldn't it be better to name a pair of goalkeeping gloves after him???'

I agreed it would - BUT UPON CHECKING THE CATALOGUE, THE BASTARDS HADN'T DONE THAT EITHER?!?!?


Finally puberty finally began to bite, and I became obsessed with 'Saving The World...'

I therefore sent off to all the environmental charities for info and brochures...

I started doing exhibitions with all that shit - it got me in the local paper...


Well, nowadays about the only post I get is Bankruptcy letters and final demands - which given that my 3 childhood obsessions are 3 of the biggest money spinners of 2008, is odd....


Anyway, I've stopped opening most of it - it rarely helps my concentration...

Instead I now get excited by spazzer messages, and this one (which just arrived) is amongst the best of recent times...


hey I did not really understand what you..re really do or doing. therefor is my English not good enough and all the pictures in your gallery and an your profile, also the text confuses me.

(I don..t know if it is a compliment or not)
however your web page is not very helpful to en-confuse me...

Everything looks and sounds crazy. I don..t know.
maybe there is a explanation, maybe not. maybe you are a crazy guy...maybe a normal in depending definition of a crazy man.

but thank you for your add request and have a nice night!



Currently listening :
Lazer Guided Melodies
By Spiritualized
Release date: 1996-10-29

More records....


Current mood: SPACING....
Category: SPACING.... Writing and Poetry



I'm great at useful procrastination....

Yes boss, give me a piece of writing TO DO and set a deadline and I'll probably put in an early session, get the backbone done, and then fiddle and fuck about with everything else under the sun EXCEPT what it is I'm supposed to be writing...


This doesn't apply to blogs - which is why there's now nearly 950 of them


But blogs are just writers crack...

Yes boss, since I found I could get instant gratification 3 or 4 times a day here on myspace, I've more or less given up all idea of writing full and complete works except those composed of tarted up and redressed blogs...

It's both great and completely annoying...


Of course I'll have to go into rehab at some point and return back into the real world of full length books, but for now I remain more or less hooked..


Anyway...

My latest prevarication is fiddling about with the front webpage here at
paulgiovanni.com..

Yes boss, regular readers will know I'm now on the 3rd or fourth layout inside 6 months, and this time I reckon I've nailed it good and proper...

However building and fiddling with this collage to perfection will most likely take weeks to perfect - meanwhile the proper written work won't get done...

The result will probably be quite a nice picture, which upon completion, I'll decide
doesn't quite work, and then I'll go through the whole process again...

Don't you just love the creative process?!?!?


Shit, when I was writing my nuclear book, I ended up spending a year or so ONLY writing and rewriting the first 30 odd pages...

And then I read them last night and they looked to be littered with embarrassing errors...

And people think I'm a workshy lazy type...


So, whilst I fiddle and tune, click the below picture, and have a look at the state of the collage...

And then type your favourite or least favourite act into the search box on the right hand side and you can read all my wise words...

Your life will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!!

I SWEAR!!!






Currently listening :
Mulholland Drive: Original Motion Picture Score
By Angelo Badalamenti
Release date: 2001-10-09