There's press stunts and then there's PRESS STUNTS!!!
A press stunt is The Arctic Monkeys dressing up as characters from the Wizzard Of Oz (why??) to not accept a bunch of Brit Awards in person, to wide and smugly acclaimed cool..
HO HO HO!!! HOW WE LAUGHED!!!!
Meanwhile, A PRESS STUNT!!! is marshalling a whole bunch of journalists to The Isle of Jura on the summer solstice, making them dress in yellow cowls, feeding them ectsacy, ordeing them to parade around a giant wicker man like priests - then torching the wicker man!!!
A promo trailer can be found below and the full 30 minute audio version of the ritual event can be streamed and/or downloaded by clicking the quad bike..
Now, to anyone who's followed his trials of life this is no surprise, in fact, perhaps the only strange thing about this most recent incarceration, is that it almost happenned under the radar of the popular press..
Yes boss, since Amy 'drink the' Winehouse has become Britains favourite junky fuck up, Pistol Pete has almost slipped from public view other than when he's popped around to see Winehouse....
So, as to not forget the poor scallywag as he slums, here we go with an old piece about the time I saw Mr Doherty and Babyshambles perform..
December 5th 2006
I'm awake all night, and I'm in a very strange mood indeed..
Why?
2 reasons:
Firstly:
The England Cricket team are in the process of snatching an incredible defeat from the jaws of certain victory in the 2nd Ashes Test Match against Australia.
Secondly:
At 9am tomorrow I'm due to watch Babyshambles record I Love You, But You're Green for BBC 2s The Culture Show and for a reason I can't quite understand I feel badly bothered about this…
So why am I bothered by Babyshambles and Mr Pete???
I drink tea and tea and MORE FUCKING TEA, reverse my gambling positions, try and put the circket out of my mind and think…
I soon figure that a part of it, is that I'm annoyed by the musical genius myth of Doherty and that by going to see him and gawp, I'm pandering to a made up, style over content, star obsessed celebrity cult of Junky Pete - a cult (one of the few) I don't believe in.
Yes boss, it's Doherty's lifestyle, drug habits and girlfriend, rather than his music and electric performance genius skill that's made him a big and well repeated household name.
Neither The Libertines or Babyshambles have made trebble platinum, or sold out Wembley on the back of their name alone. They haven't had 6 consecutive number ones or had a ten year career loaded with classics we all know and love and I'd be more than willing to bet that if you stopped 10 people in the street and asked them to sing a Pete Doherty song, at least 9 would struggle to pull it off - even though 99 out of a hundred would know who he is…
This being the case, why should I - an eminently unknown musical music critic, trying to make a big fat shitty name for myself, be wasting time on someone who's yet to touch me - or for that matter - most of the population in any real and musical way?
Am I already becoming another sad old star fucker journo, going along with the dull indie tide just because it's there??
Another theory I have, is that I'm battling some kind of a moral position...
Yes boss, perhaps, deep down, I know I'm going to see a freak show - to see a man on his way to the modern equivalent of the cross - a creative human sacrifice - and there I'm gonna be in my fake beard shouting "STONE HIM!!"??
But if I really gave a shit about that sort of thing, why on earth am I involved in any kind of entertainment or creative business whirl?
Shit, it only takes the briefest of glances behind the scenes of any creative enterprise, to see that the whole game's corrupt, voyueristic and canibalistic by it's very nature. Creative art feeds on misery and destruction as art always must, and no matter how many old morals suggest I should, I certainly shouldn't be disagreeing with this state of affairs - if only because there's no point disagreeing with the inevitable..
Not convinced by either of the above, I start to think about Kate Moss, or Katherine as I prefer to call her...
AH HA!
Maybe I'm annoyed because, like many idiot boys, I've had a part time crush on Moss for years, and the one and only time I've seen her in the flesh, and been in any position to do anything about it, was in the pub about 3 weeks before her and Pete's relationship appeared to start, and then because I was clad in an outfit equivalent to that worn by Vince and Jules after The Fox has hosed the remains of Marvin from them, in the film Pulp Fiction, I didn't dare approach her, she didn't return my gormless stares and then she was gone....
Perhaps I dislike and fear the idea of Pete because he's fucking the most desiredly famous woman in the country and I'm not??
Well, all of these and various other ideas come and go, and as I listen to the worst sporting capitulation my goldfish memory can recall, I know that though all ideas have validity, none really add up to the full trick.
I therefore put such thoughts aside, make it in to the venue for the recording, watch and wait to be impressed.
The strange thing is that from the word go, I'm very impressed with both Pete and Babyshambles.
Contrary to the myths of lateness and bad behaviour, the band arrive on time, or perhaps a bit early. They walk onto the stage as if they'd just popped out for a packet of fags and the audience were paintings on the wall.
Without fucking about, they then get on with playing their music as if it's the most natural thing in the world. There's no pretentious concern about the sound check, any discernable ego or nasty attitude to be seen. They simply play like they want to play, and like playing is their life. It's fluid and smooth and a pleasure to watch, meanwhile Pete the hooligan bad boy junky shit head motherfucker behaves like a charming, quiet and pleasant young man.
Yes boss, from begining to end, I thoroughly enjoy the performance and here it is.... (complete with my audience big bald head and green cardy in the middle and bowing at the end...)
It's very much later that evening, or perhaps even the next, that I work out the true nature of my problem…
I'd been nervous because I was to be in the presence of someone who'd done what so many seek to do when they take on London or Hollywood or New York or any other seething modern day metropolis.
Pete Doherty has started a creative project (2 in fact), seen them succeed to some notable degree, swum in the celebrity lake of filth that's followed and nearly killed himself in the process…
One minute I was starring at Minnie Mouse, as part of a fact finding trip to Disneyland - the next I'd fallen hopelessly in (what I believed to be) love with a girl who was visiting the popular theme park as part of a 'fashion facilitation'..
After 3 hot days of pursuit and bitsy games, we found ourselves running from our cares and responsibilities to Las Vegas, where we were married (no questions asked) in the Church of Holy Rock by an Elvis impersonator (real name: Frank)
That fine sunny day, Michelle was dressed as Madonna and was 'given away' by a man we found in a bar who bore a striking resemblance to Buddy Holly. I PG£ or PPGG (as I was then known) was dressed as Michael Jackson (glove included)..(After the vows were exchanged I couldn't help but mutter the immortal words (Who's BAD??!!))
It was a beautiful day.
We both looked GREAT!!!
We were young and in love and the world was at our feet!!!!
But love can be cruel and it pains me to say that our marriage didn't last well.
No boss, we soon divorced...
Now, out of respect to Michelle, I won't go into the details of the split, except to say that 3 months and 4 days in, there was an appalling misunderstanding on her part - we split up, a disaster occurred and IT WAS ALL HER FAULT!!!!
FACT!!!!
Yes boss, we lost the magic that we so joyously had.
It was gone like a bird on the wind...
Gone
gone
gone...
The break up was horrendous, I didn't eat, I only drank whiskey and tea, and read only the work of the ancient and wise philosopher Machiavelli and the popular mens magazine Playboy...
But Michelle and I remained 'in touch', and in 1998 we attempted to reconcile.
Things initially looked good.
Michelle moved to London and we immediately bought a dog called Mitsy - an animal we felt sure would help to heal the breached bonds of trust and wounds of pain that were tearing at both of our hearts..
But 4 days later Michelle's conference on 'Mens Fashion' was over and she left like a thief in the night leaving me holding Mitsy and my own heart, bleeding
bleeding
bleeding
Time passed.
Occasionally we'd talk or shout and scream hatred down the phone to one another (just like lovers do), whilst our existing girlfriends or boyfriends looked on. Other times we'd go months without even a phone call....
On occasion, I had the distinct impression we might never see or talk again, but when Michelle asked me to be her 'friend' on myspace in 2007 I had an idea.
I realised that, as with everything nowadays, the continued success of the Giovanni brand would require very heavy merchandising.
Yes boss, the days when one can get by on words and words alone are long gone. I knew I needed to claw back some kind of emotional (or better still) financial payback for the pain the marriage caused me, and so an executive decision was made to elect Michelle to my private staff....
A strange plan you might think?!?
But no.
Since leaving me destroyed and ruined, Michelle has gone on to carve herself a very successful career in the fashion business.
Yes boss, rather than attending to my dinner and repairing my socks, these days Michelle travels the world and hangs around with blonde Hollywood types. She's a full blown success who eats alligators in China and bi-annually travels to all the worlds main cities to buy clothes...
Meanwhile, I've been struggling, needing a PG£ perfume, a range of PG$ plastic doll figures, PG£ T-shirts, PG$ souvenir mugs, a PG$£$£ cooking device, a P$£$£$$$$ sunglasses endorsement and a PG$£$£$£$$$£££$$££$$ CLOTHING RANGE....
AHA!!!!!
I had a moment of reason!!!
Yes boss, I saw a perfect opportunity to cash in on her success (that (if we're being honest) could surely only have been due to her brief association with me PG£), I therefore put the idea to her that......
WE SHOULD CREATE A RANGE OF GIOVANNI INSPIRED CLOTHES CALLED WHORA....
Comprising a yellow and red sporty look (with fish motiffs) Whora was and remains one of my very best EVER ideas set to make us both HUGELY AND FABULOUSLY RICH!!!
Michelle smelled the coffee..
Things started well, we jotted down ideas and exchanged pleasantries via email, - everything looked good...
But soon old sores resurfaced, and after a series of vicious exchanges between both ourselves and our respective legal teams, the Whoraplans were put on ice INDEFINITELY.... As a result of these ever lengthening and bitter procedures, I was recently advised by my lawyer to put off naming Michelle as my Official Stylist and Clothes Designer and to instead simply name her The Official Ex-Wife until all legal matters had been completed to our mutual satisfaction...
And that boss...
is the story of The Official Ex-Wife to Paul Giovanni £rd
(PS) If you're reading this 'chelly darling....CALL OFF THE FUCKING LAWYERS OR ELSE I'LL GET REALLY NASTY!!!!
For me, the first 2 G'N'R LPS (Lies & Appetite) were decent records. In fact I'd go as far as to say AppetiteFor Destruction is a GREAT record!!!
But the Use Your Illusion 4 record set was one good LP, a few b-sides and a whole bunch of crap, The Spaghetti Incident was smothered in tomato sauce and the band without Slash isn't Guns 'N' Roses ...
But try telling Axl that...
Whatever happens - here they are at their very youthful best...
Current mood: DISCO DAVE... Category: DISCO DAVE... Music
Well, here we go with an opportunity to get your hands on a rather fine disco electro rootsy kinda mix by The Eugene Machine..
Yes boss, there's lots of good stuff on here, most of which I didn't previouisly know, so I'd certainly recommend you wander on along and dowload it....
Here is the first Why Are We Sleeping? radio mix available for free download. We've mixed together some of our latest finds with some long-time favourites, including James Holden, Shriekback, Silicon Boogie & Bill Nelson into one almighty 30 minute rooster booster!
At only 34mb, it's the best mutilated music mix you can put on your pod!
Current mood: SELL SELL SELL!!!! Category: SELL SELL SELL!!!! Music
All good things come to an end and whereas The Glastonbury Festival probably never will, I'm getting the feeling it's been past it's BIG TIME peak and I think the current unsold tickets are proof of that ..
Yes boss, though I've not been along since the year 2000, after the 2007 edition of the festival ended in ANOTHER mudbath, I had the distinct feeling that 2 years of shitty weather, together with all this over ID organisation, the agressive denial of freeloaders (like PG£) and too much listening to the police's advice (since when have the police ever organised a good music festival?!?) was going to damage Glastonbury's alt.appeal...
Of course I'm not the only person to have an opinion as to why Glastonbury is struggling to sell out in a single day....
His idea is that Glastonbury, is a guitar based festival (like Oasis) and Hip Hop isn't guitar based (like Oasis are) so it's therefore all Jay Z's fault (not Oasis's fault), which is a viewpoint with all the sophistication, intelligence and exactness of the music of Oasis..
But, whereas I can accpet that Umbrella might well not be flavour of the average Glasto goer, that ain't even in the top PG£ 3 of reasons as to why the tickets are so far unsold
The below are
1) TOO MUCH SHITTY WEATHER: How many times do the same people want to walk around a mudbath and barely hear bands because the festival is worried about noise pollution??
2) Overkill: Glastonbury is becoming too well known
3) Recession: The Glasto crowd these days is predominantly composed of young. well meaning middle class folk. Alot of these new young professionals have mortgages, and as much as they love a good shindig in the mud and opportunity to buy a new reusable canvas shopping bag - they'd really rather have the mortgage paid any day of the week...
4) Comeptition: Every man and his dog is organising a festival these days.
Shit, when I was a lad, there was The Pheonix, Reading & Glastonbury and that was it - nowadays there are more festivals than there are pubs in London, that between them accomodate for every different angle on the idea of a festival... Yes boss, along with the big festivals there are a host of others like The Big Chill which are begining to do 'Glastonbury' as well - if not better - than Glastonbury currently is.
5) ID SHIT: All this ID shit to buy a ticket is HORSESHIT!!! You shouldn't have to have photo ID to attend a firggin music festival. I don't give a fuck what the police advice is. IT ISN'T HOW IT IS!!
And if it is, the Glasonbury organisers should stop their festival for a few years and see how much the police like the hundreds of small illegal festivals that would crop up in it's place
I'm sure a lot of the white kids that make up the bulk of the Glasto crowd don't much like Jay Z
But I fully respect the organisers decision to challenge the audience and book him
Furthermore, I think Jay Z will do a good show.
I mean give me him over the Arctic Bleeding (bore me to tears) Monkeys ANY DAY OF ANY WEEK!!!!
Seriously. Hip Hop can and does work LIVE
I only went to The Reading Festival once (1994), and I didn't think that much of it, but the best guy on show was Ice Cube. He turned the crowd over like no-one else. At the begining of the set, droves were leaving, but as he got going, droves were going forward to see his action. HE WAS BRILLIANT!!!
Furthermore, the best act at that aberation that was LIVE8 was Snoop Doggy Dog...
So, here we go with The Paul Giovanni solution to ensure that Glastonbury sells out.
1) DITCH THE ID SHIT AND MAKE THAT FENCE JUST A LITTLE BIT POROUS!!!
2) MOVE THE FESTIVAL TO AUGUST TO IMPROVE THE LIKELIHOOD OF GOOD WEATHER!!!
3) STOP ALL THIS PICKING POP STARS FOR HEADLINERS!!!
Have not the best headline sets of recent years been by (then) smaller stand in bands like Pulp?!? Bands who have been there or thereabouts, but are yet to hit their peak?!? Bands who will really grab the opportunity rather than treat it as just another stadium gig...
Jumping the fence even when I could afford the ticket was just great fun, and anyway I always spent my fare share inside!! Too strict criteria is off putting when your thinking of going on 4 day bender of all sorts and they know exactly who you are, it changes the vibe, no more pillow cases of weed etc.... Its not about the line up its about the vibe and that has gone,. Oh and the recession is also a big factor at those prices for a weekend!!
What I want to know is why aren't people working hard and creating wealth instead of sitting around on their asses smoking pot and listening to mostly shit bands (sponsorred by Vodafone)?!?
I think things'll soon change.
Festivals are a product of boomtime and boomtime is well and truly over...
I think you got it nailed I was there for the pulp gig, it was truly awsome But the levellers? As far as I know the levellers where every middle class teenager pretending to rebel against there parents favorite band. and they where just goddamm awful!
Jay-Z will put on a good show. Granted, its not quite what comes to mind when I hear "glastonbury" but it is 2008 and I guess the times are changing...
The Levellers were a perfect Glasto hippie trustamuffin band and were guaranteed to get any festival going on a drunken dance, not the greatest band but a great live band none the less. And nothing tops seeing sonic Youth Following Tony Bennet in the knee deep mud body aching trench foot setting in smoking an 8" long pipe of weed and hash and the sun finally coming out and the magic of the setting becomes apparent that musical transcendance will always happen at Glasto, you go for the unexpected not the expected, and it's always odd things that grab you like the stoned rasta at the roller disco moving around at the slowest pace possible shambling along as our hash truffles kicked into the coffee with a shot of pear brandy kicked the morning into place.
Most of my favourite Glastonbury memories are of acts and bands I knew nothing of or events way beyond the expected. That's the spirit of the event and the thing that made it stand way above everything else that was on offer until these last few years when some of the smaller festivals have caught up a little...
On it's day The Glastonbury Festival is the best city on earth...
You..ve hit the nail on the head! Jay-Z is far from the best hip hop act but he..s famous enough (Or dare I say commercial enough) to pull in a big crowd. Having seen Snoop Dogg cause a moshpit oasis wouldve been proud of i agree hip hop can work. Its a Live event Not a Genre-fest. The unexpected always works better.. What could be more rock n roll than not being rock n roll? Having never been to Glasto but a T in the Park veteran (9 out the last 10) I think success brings it..s own problems. Once it gets too big it loses it..s edge a bit. Thats why last year people were talking more about The Beastie Boys (Sorry Noel) at Connect or Daft Punk @ Rock Ness (Sorry Noel) rather than Snow Patrol closing the main stage at TITP. ID for a festival is WRONG! WRONG! WROOOOOOONG! Bad weather is always a risk in Britain no matter when it is! "David Cameronesque" Lol New adjective :) The Levellers are far from my idea of great music but they really kicked the weekend off at T in the Park a few years ago with Just The One almost causing a stampede of old skool hippies and spoiled rich kids together. The competition was caused by demand because of the big ones selling out in seconds (BLAME THE INTERNET!!!)
The new wave of festivals were certainly caused by the success of Glastonbury and the other bigger festivals.
I also think the old crowd of hippies upon which Glastonbury was built, are (for the most part) far too disorganised and/or unwilling to pre-order and perpare ID so they're increasingly looking at the smaller events as is the overspill crowd unable to get tickets for the bigger dos...
Glastonbury has moved on to become an interntional 'Lonely Planet' event...
Well I've just spent my £35 for tickets to Get Loaded in the Park on clapham common in August, a one day festival that I'd pay that money to see headliners Iggy And The Stooges alone, so everything else is just a bonus!! and I get to go hame and sleep in my own bed!! Bonus!!
Here's a vid about an italian music festival I've never heard of, I don't know if its as funny as claimed as my italian doesn't run to anything much beyond sear words and how to order food!!
Everything I Have Ever Recorded 1979 - 2008 Ref: BC Ipod
An iPod with every recording Billy Childish has ever released, starting with the first Pop Rivets record and ending with a recording of a live performance and poetry reading at THE AQUARIUM L-13 on 17th April 2008.
Each iPod will be housed in a custom handmade box with an external headphone socket, will come with a complete and detailed discography, and one track that is unique to each individual iPod.
Edition of 10 of which 6 will be numbered and for sale. The other 4 will be given to the artist, curator, gallery and compiler.
Due to the enormity of the project (Childish has released over 100 LPs and a similar number of singles), this is currently a work in progress and will be completed in May 2008.
Very good....but if I were you I wouldn't even contemplate considering buying one of these things for that price...I don't think I'm speaking out of turn when I suggest that Mrs Giovanni would ACTUALLY KILL YOU. Capisce?????????
But I reckon these'll increase in value as art - so were I to rob a shopkeeper and buy one (When in the bank, I've often noticed shopkeepers transport their weeks takings, more or less unguarded - seeing this, my latent criminal mind starts to think bad thoughts...) I'd encourage Mrs G to take a more long term view...
It's something Mrs Giovanni would do well to consider...
So long as I get the ipod bought and stashed before appearing on Crimewatch, she'll not only get shot of my for a few peaceful years - but also be quids in, in the long run!!!
Current mood: ALLEZ ALLEZ ALLEZ!!! Category: ALLEZ ALLEZ ALLEZ!!! Sports
Well, I'd love to fill you in with some tasty music trivia, but today is a huge sporting day and I'm preoccupied with that...
There's:
The Masters Golf Arsenal Vs Man United (a fixture likely to decide the fate of this years Premier League) The London Marathon The latest Italian General Election (the 62nd Italian general election since the second world war - NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL DEMOCRACY!!!) And most importantly the vicious bike race: Paris Roubaix
Paris Roubaix is my very favourite professional cycle race for the simple reason that it's a mentalists heaven. It's almost 300km of very hard riding along roads that at times more closely resemble 2000 year old Roman roads than super slick tarmac...
It's a race for the real hard men of the sport. The big powerful guys drugged out of their heads on pure grade blood. It's about dust, mud and dirt. A slum it back to the dark ages of sport - before everything became too professional, clean and sanitised....
2 years ago I went down to watch the race won by Swiss rider, Fabian Cancellara.
It was a quintessential Paul Pious James Deman Giovanni £rd expedition:
Last minute decison to go. Late night ferry to Northern France. No sleep, freezing on the beach at Dover til dawn. Early morning train to with the bike to Lille Then a 20k cycle to Roubaix. A large ammount of booze and THE RACE!!!!
But what does this have to with Paul Giovanni or this music blog???
Very little, but take a look at Fabian crossing the line victorious at the Velodrome in 2006...
Well it used to be that way, but now the physical side of even the tougher sports is much watered down thanks to those who believe pain and death can be outlawed...
Mind you The Grand National is still pretty burtal. I liked it this year COMPLY OR DIE won!!! This was double good because it was my pick...
Golf is a game rather than a sport...
I predict Immleman to hold on and win The Masters..
i was just at the marathon because my brother did it, he said he is never doing it again ever as long as he lives. I saw gordon ramsay running he was taking it hard and also two completely naked people running
You can call me an uncharitable cunt, but if I'm being honest, I get really tired of all the costumes and attention seeking that goes on at Marathons...
I'm a bit hardline with sport:
Either race to win (whether this be a hoeplessly deluded hope or a real one), or else stay the fuck on the sidelines and watch it...
I find it a very strange thing to have an elite sporting event and an amateur one on the same course at the exact same time. I can't think of another sport that does that - but then track and field is one of the weirdest sports out there...
Marathons also spike my recurring issue with self seeking 'charity'...
Basically: If you're going to do chairty - do it quietly...
All this said, I certainly admire anyone who runs 26 miles and I'd do a marathon myslef (if I was allowed to skip the charidee bit...)
oh, i see you photoshopped yourself in on the left.
SIDE NOTE: sarah wants to know "why is he like a puppy?" chloe wants to know, "is that real? mama, does it look funny?" (why "does it look funny" is posed as a question, vs. "it looks funny,", i am not sure)
yes. some sports are brutal, and i am surely not tough enough (but then again, i did pop out full term twins, so maybe this cycling thing on cobblestone streets ain't so bad)
I thank everyone involved in the Marathon as it always allows me to spend the day earning lots of money from the event! I have to say the 70 year old woman who I took back to her hotel that had just finished the run had such a glow of satisfaction on her face it makes the whole thing worthwile! As for the guy done up in some huge bunny outfit with a wooden spoon that couldn't take the outfit off to go home and was walking along Picadilly in it, he just looked like a prized knob and worthy of the piss being taken out of, no matter how good a cause he was running for! The last cycle ride I did that involved cobbles was from Bruges to Dam and back, we got drunk on blow your brains out Belgian Cidre that came in small beakers and then Jo veered into a parked car when we hit the cobbles back in bruge a few hundred metres from our hotel, it was great fun and I'd go back to Dam for some more Crepes and cidre any day!!
I'd like to see a cat category in the next London Marathon - but I have the feeling they simply won't be arsed with the effort. They'll get a few hundred yards, find a comfy spot (most likely in front of a fire of some kind) sit there and look on at one another in disdain...
So that LA London triathlon would be Coke Smuggling, heroin Smuggling and what prostitution or something like that. Oh and didn't that coke run sort of die out at the end of the 70's!!
I know seriously who would want to live in a world without drugs? Think of the disease and think of the boredom. Yes Coke Heroin and Amphetamines smuggled from la to london in a racing bicycle and the various members of the team and the team that gets the most in wins!!
Late for my rendezvous, but early enough for the venue to be unopened.
On the walk up Fortess Road, I saw a man standing stock still outside a rather grandiose house: Dressed as a robot!? Practising Mime?? A real life alien?? Another quirk in the day...
But, getting to gigs early is a habbit I find hard to break even though I've never missed a band I've intended to see. I still have the idea I will (unless I get in very close to opening time) ..
This is a bad plan when your sum cash total for the night is something in the region of 9 English pounds..
Oh well...
I missed nothing, enjoyed excellent company and still got drunk..
More or less exactly what I expected - though I didn't spend much time thinking about what I was expecting...
Currently playing as a 3 piece, Billy Childish and The MBE's play edgy blues rock punk rock. His sound exhibits everything from Nirvanna to John Lydon. The White Stripes to The Who. Some of these acts influencing and some influenced by Mr Childish. He knows what he likes and he does it and then he does it again. He lives in a bubble of his own and he properly enjoys it...
There were no suprises, no synthesizer solos are samples and no lazer light show using THE LATEST GEAR!!!!.
As they watch, the crowd are almost hushed respectful into silence. You get the sense people are looking on in deep respect and awe. Deep respect for someone who's had the courage and definacy and a solid vision about what and who interests them..
This last week or so, I've come to understand that my issue with all things retro isn't anything to do with disliking the sounds of years gone by - or their repetition by contemporary acts, but in people falsely replicating them unaffected, without the emotion or difference of a real and genuine interest.....
Billy Childish is most definately retro, but he perorms and creates with emotion and passion that give his music the life that so many other retro acts lack.
I like this, but I wonder about the cut off....
Yes boss, there seems to be a date sometime in the early 1970's where Billy Childish stops...
As it states on The Musicins of The British Empire myspace
(PLEASE NOTE THIS SITE IS MAINTAINED BY DAMAGED GOODS RECORDS, BILLY DOES NOT "DO" EMAIL, MOBILE PHONE, OR MYSPACE)
I wonder why not???
I don't think any technology takes away from an art. Good art is created on myspace the same as on mobile phones, on an electric geeetar or a Lute. There's no technological cut off after when the creative world stops turning and no level of technology that cannot be art...
But that's just a matter of popinion
Wild Billy Childish, likes what he likes and he knows what he likes, and in an age where most people are bought and sold by marketing machines 9 times a day with complete and absurd ease - that's extraordinarily refreshingly good to hear...
Yes boss, I most definately like the deep and honest innocence of Childish. I like anyone who plugs away for years on the dole knocking out more good work than any job club can even understand to vacant looks and endless misunderstanding and presumed laziness...
I like people to follow their own ideas and not worry about vapid marketing or timeframes of fiscal success AND THEN QUIT!!! I like the bucking and indifference of trends. I like artists to be so secure in the importance of what they're doing, that they don't care half a shit about how they're portrayed or understood..
Current mood: CAPISTS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!! Category: CAPISTS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!! Music
Blimey!!!
Last night, I had a rather good night out last night at The Dirty Water Club up in Tufnell Park.
Billy Childish was playing and a full review of my first glimpse of Mr Childish at play will imminently follow...
One thing I really liked about both The DW Club and a press sucking free champagne Big Chill soiree at the Big Chill Bar in Kings Cross the previous night (pretty dull, though they did have visuals of fish), was that both venues allowed the wearing of caps...
Yes boss, some of you may still not be aware of this, but the wearing of caps consitutes a threat in some bars in the free west. The worry seems to be that caps obscure your identity and don't allow the CCTV to get a good shot of your face when you commit crimes that all cap wearers are known to commit...
So, I'm wondering how venues that insist on this rather stooopid and ill-concieved capist bylaw would deal with this gentleman?!?
Yeah, there's a pub I like in Sheffield that has a 'no caps / hoods' rule. Fine, but I strolled in one day - middle of the afternoon, only one other person in there, wearing a flourescent orange Whitehouse T-shirt, shades and a stetson. And they asked me to remove my hat for the benefit of he CCTV. I mean, come ON! Like I was going to cause truoble in an empty pub, and like they'd have a job identifying me in a crowd when I legged it?
'What did he look like?' 'Um, not sure officer, the CCTV didn't get a decent shot of him becasue he was wearing a hat.' 'Damn, well, not much chance we'll find him then.'
Great pic. If I had a 'fro, that's what I'd do with it.
'I can see a man heading away from the pub. He's wearing a stetson and a flourescant orange t-shirt. He's covered in blood and ranting away about how he's just had a fight with himself!? Do you think it's him??'
FUTUREPROOF STAFF INTRODUCTION :::: THE PREPATORE - ACHIEVEMENT
Current mood: HOW TO GO ABOUT THINGS.... Category: HOW TO GO ABOUT THINGS.... Goals, Plans, Hopes
I was talking with my Official Prepatoré last night. He's heading up to the Shetland Isles for more extensive life enjoyment, long walking and searching...
Searching for what???
I have no idea...
My Prepatore AKA My Personal Conditioner AKA one of my very best real life friends, spends most of his time walking in the wilderness. He doesn't much care for work, so he doesn't bother with it.
Instead he spends the vast majority of his time walking or cycling about the world, living simple and taking it all in....
At times I've felt Mr B is wasting his life and NEEDS TO GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM!!!! But upon putting this advice to him, he fails to agree and continues as he is...
We're all encourgaed to think of AIMS and GOALS!! Of ACHIEVEMENT in this life, but Mr B doesn't buy this kind of advice - at least in the conventional sense.
He fully understands why others do it, but excepting a few unconventional ocasions, he simply doesn't buy it..
One such unconventional occasion worth recording, was in the summer of 1999
Yes boss, the picture above was taken on a cross channel ferry.
My prepatore and I are on our way to watch the 1999 Tour de France cycle race (the first of Lance Armstrongs 7 consecutive tour wins). We cycle from Southampton to The Alps in 10 days. It's a double heavy regime of 100km of cycling per day + a bottle of wine per man minimum....
As a start, we disembark the Portsmouth to Le Havré ferry after 8 pints of Kronnebourg and 2 cigars a piece. We cycle through customs without even noticing where they are, cycle the wrong way down the road and camp for free in the nearest campsite (late to bed, early to rise)
Thereafter follows a stirring regime of physical endurnace and heavy drinking to land us on schedule for the tour....
If we get lazy - we miss the race..
My sole sacrifice for this mission, is to give up smoking for the 3 weeks before.
Mr B's is to cycle half way around the UK.
I'm in trouble...
We race each day's stage. Mr B wins all but one.
Prior to our first day of serious mountain action, on the enormous Col De Galibier (2646M) Mr B sinks no fewer than 4 bottles of wine as well as cycling up The Col De Telegraphe (1556M)....
By itself this is an achievement, but let me add this to the story.....
We start at the bottom of this 1556m alpine climb in revived spirits after a shitty day before. The most polite of the Tours climbs of that years race, the Telegraphe is relatively easy: Steady and not too steep - it's the kind of climb a decent amateur can get up in one - without a break....
Well, about 2 k of upward zig zags in, we're both going well. Mr B is ahead, but by then, I both accept and expect this...
Yes boss, after having come up short on a previous shorter climb the day before, we're both keen to do this Alp in full - both of us in our own time - we're not competing anymore....
But then, Mr B punctures. He's had a persistent problem with his back tyre. It's punctured 3 or 4 times. Each time he's fixed it, but the problem persists....
I ride past him..
'Do you want a hand??' I ask - not really meaning it
'No. Go on!' he replies
I do.
I cycle hairpin after hairpin, suffering like a fucking dog, but knowing that each one that goes, makes me surer. I'm not only going to do the climb in one, but also win the first mountain stage!!!!.
I'M NOT STOPPING!!! I'M GOING LIKE A DREAM. I'M CYCLING UP A FUCKING ALP WITHOUT A BREAK AT A SAFE AND STEADY PACE!!!!!
GLORY GLORY GLORY!!!
3 hairpins from the top, I become aware of a prescence to my left shoulder.
I look around, and there's Mr B, COMPLETELY PURPLE IN THE FACE cycling around and past me, after having FIXED A FUCKING PUNCTURE AND STILL CLIMBING PAST ME TO TAKE THE FIRST MOUNTAIN STAGE!!!!
Current mood: TWISTY TURNY... Category: TWISTY TURNY... Music
***ITALIAN STAR DATES***
10th April - Faenza - Clandestino
11th April - Cesena - Officine 49
12th April - Carpi (Modena) - Mattatoio
13th April - Potenza - tba
14th April - Lucera (Foggia) - Arcisonica
15th April - Bari - Bohemien
16th April - Cosenza - PARTYZAN!
17th April - Roma - Mads
18th April - Vasto - tba
19th April - Gioiosa - Blue Dahlia
Well Jesus...
There are times you want to be in a band, and times you want justice and times when nothing beats a good old public ding dong..
So, here's a true story that to some degree encompases all of these...
Long time regular readers may remember a big old barney on this blog not far from a year ago with the management and record label of a band called Hatcham Social..
Yes boss, you know how I like to bark BARK WOOF WOOF!!! And one day I did just this on former boss of Creation records, Alan McGees blog....
Basically, I was getting a little tired of McGees mundanely dull musical choices and when he blogged up a band called Hatcham Social, I left a comment to the effect that I was in no hurry to listen to them...
Well, in response I recieved a message from a character calling himself Dan Waks, and this is orgy of humour, CANCER, hate and bile that followed...
I get on with my shitty unstaisfying old age life (increasing my readership 10 fold, watering the garden, discovering that Dan Waks is in fact Alan McGees son, hearing lots of great and original music (though strangely no Hatcham Social), getting wrinkly, founding The Futureproof Music Corporation, getting 3 snails as pets, CAPTURING THE CHAIRS OF POP POWER, employing a phalanx of beautiful staff, burning children, balding etc)
Meanwhile, the kids get on with their deft radical 'best thing since Philip Spector' ground breaking music times of which I clearly know nothing....
Roll on 2008 and I'm involved in some promo for one of my favourite bands they came from the stars I saw them. By way of this promo, a contact is made with an Italian promoter with a view to an Italian tour.
10th April Faenza - Clandestino
11th April Cesena - Officine 49
12th April - Carpi (modena) - Mattatoio
13th April - Potenza - tba
14th April - Lucera (foggia) - Arcisonica
15th April - Bari - Bohemien
16th April - Cosenza - PARTYZAN!
17th April - Roma - Mads
18th April - Vasto - tba
19th April - Gioiosa - Blue Dahlia
May is when the stars ACE new LP comes out
so the original talk was of them and there, but parts of Italy get a little hot in May and some of the venues close (yes boss, any excuse not to work is a good one)...
Well, as things are being arranged around this, a British band pull out of a tour in April and keen to get a good stint of LIVE miles in their legs before the real frenzy of summer gigging action starts rolling, the stars eagerly step in and take the tour + a few extra Italo dates on top....
10th April Faenza - Clandestino
11th April Cesena - Officine 49
12th April - Carpi (modena) - Mattatoio
13th April - Potenza - tba
14th April - Lucera (foggia) - Arcisonica
15th April - Bari - Bohemien
16th April - Cosenza - PARTYZAN!
17th April - Roma - Mads
18th April - Vasto - tba
19th April - Gioiosa - Blue Dahlia
I mean, what more could you want to be doing in April than to be swanning around one of the finest and most beautiful countries in the world playing original WOW WOW music??
What could be a better way to spend time, than by lounging around in the sun on the beach inbetween sweaty bunches of Italians screaming bloody murder for your fine and happy tunes???
What better place to get yourself warmed up for a year of musical dom than the ancestral home of Paul Pious James Giovanni £rd????
Well, I'm damned if I can think of a reason
But there must be one because a band dropped out - and the name of that other band??
I read you response to the letter, its brilliant, and then I checked them out and they sound everything but young and exciting, its extremely dull music!
yep. they're ohioans like me. the one i knew really well was the co-founder of the label. i don't think he's a mainstay although i could be wrong. he never thought humor belonged in music. last time they were in pittsburgh they really rocked it out. should be a good match.
cheers for working out the italian promoter connect w/ They Came From The Stars. I love them. They should be playing everywhere as far as I'm concerned.
Current mood: SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER!!! Category: SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER!!! Music
So....
After a few weeks of trying to keep up with the kids music, I’m back on the vinyl archive and here’s an LP I’d recommend to completely everyone...
Yes boss, The Essential Mediterranean DanceTrax is the sunniest record I’ve heard in a long while..
I picked it up a few years back when I was trying to find my way into some cheap dance vinyl. It had Weatherall talking juice on the back sleeve
so I figured it must be alright despite the New Romantic look of some of the featured acts...
Well, I can most definately report that IT’S A FUCKING DIAMOND RECORD!!!
Yes boss, if you ever see one buy it!! We’re talking super cheery summer music. Balearic House: Carefree, light and happy go lucky. FUN FUN FUN!!!
DANCE MUSIC THAT DOESN’T TAKE ITSELF TOO SERIOUSLY!!!!!
Now, perhaps I’m loving it so much because it’s been raining cold and snowing for the last 18 months and because I haven’t had a holiday for a year and that was to the in-laws, and the sun wasn’t playing ball even though I was in Italy and it was May and IT DAMN WELL SHOULD HAVE BEEN SUNNY!!!!
But, no...
Every time I’ve listened to this, I’ve felt light and bright. It’s infused with that Mediterranean joy of life..
So, I’m not going to say much more about it except to say read Weatheralls speach down the left hand side of that first image.
It sums the whole thing up perfectly...
OH, AND SEE MR LELEWEL FOR A GREAT DEAL ON WHISTLES!!!!!
let the sun come shine the fuck on in i say! shame you cant put an mp3 up here...aint you got one of those noo fangled vinyl>mp3 converters...?......it must be alright probably precisely BECAUSE of the new romantic get up.....i wonder if he ever got all those whistles blown at once......he he :)
I've noticed a handful of typographic errors on the sleeve notes...which unfortunately prevents me from EVER enjoying this record...the heinous crimes against typesetting would always be in the back of my mind.
