ALBUM REVIEW :: FEIST - THE REMINDER

Current mood: I WANT TO THANK YOU...
Category: I WANT TO THANK YOU... Music

I can never decide whether hypocrisy is one of the greatest human attirbutes or one of the worst, but whichever it is, it's certainly one that's extraordinarily prevalent in the music business...

Yes boss, it hasn't taken quick sharp Giovanna long to ascertain that the music business is loaded with so much hypocrisy, nimby and nepotism it could give the mafia a run for it's money.

Bassically, if you want to get on in this game, you have to suck the right (cool and clever) people and dismiss the wrong (wannabe cool and clever) ones with a swift slap to the balls. You have to be such a social wizzard, your secrets and moves can sell greater than Potters latest escapades..


For example...

Those of you have long suffered my crap will know that I had a spell a while back trying to solicit answers as to why in the hell the multi million selling Barbie Girl track by Aqua was so universally panned by almost everyone in music, when it was in fact a piece of pop genius, that (had it have been made by The KLF) would have ben universally lauded as a conceptual gem and thereby loaded with credability...

Doctorin the Tardis = Barbie Girl...

No further maths required...


Anyway, enough of stating the bleeding obvious. Thing is, I've been hearing a lot about this LP from an artist called Feist.

Now, Feist is a chum of both Peaches (surely one of the most vacuosly overated and pointless alt.pop artists of recent times) and Chilli Gonzales (one of the most under rated) And the more I read, the more I was begining to think Feist might be both important, interesting and overloaded with BIG shreeeps and tizzbangs of modernity...

Yes boss, I even read an interview where she was talking about how she loved to get away from people and hideaway from humankind - and I believed her, and loved her for it...

So, I downloaded this LP and have now finally listened to it and I'm amazed to find this highly 'credible' effort is in fact exactly the same as Dido.

I kid you not. It's the same weak, fragile voice and mellow inoffensive tunes. The same delicate wee pop songs that enraged so many folk who claim to love music...

Yet unlike poor old Dido, Feists LP is languishing in the chiq club of cool. It's being lauded as an alt.masterpiece. It has respect from all the headz on the scene - the same heads who would piss in your face with cackles if you told them you liked Dido...

I mean I'm not syaing it's a bad LP. In fact I don't reckon I'll mind it once in a while, (neither for that matter do I mind Dido once in a while)

But let's be clear, FEIST IS EXACTLY FUCKING THE SAME AS DIDO!!!

Currently listening : Neptune’s Lair By Drexciya Release date: By 26 October, 1999

13:38 - 10 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	REX MUNDI	who cares! Posted by REX MUNDI on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 14:08 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Christopher Nosnibor	Jeezus, that's worrying. So not only do we have this year's Lily Allen in the form of kate gash, but a this year's Dildo too? Oh but there's always room for more mediocre pap that'll be critically hailed as the greatest thing since (---------) before disappearing without trace (thankfully) before being replaced by somehting else exactly the same. The masses have the collective attention span of goldfish, and the industry are very good at exploiting the fact. What's the solution? Fucked if I know, but at least I know to avoid Feist's CDs now. After all, Dido was plenty bad / boring / overrated enough. Posted by Christopher Nosnibor on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 16:39 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity	paloma hates feist. i thought dido was the most yawn inducing crap i have ever heard. i saw her live once, it was just blah...(makes raspberry noise with tongue) (I am righ now sining to the tune of Van Morisson "Gloria") B-O-R-I-N-G Bo-oh-oh--ring B-O-R-I-N-G Bo-oh-oh--ring Posted by La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 17:53 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	PARP!!!! Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 18:14 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club	I didn't know Dido sang that song Gloria too. I thought that was Laura Branigan. Oh wait, never mind. Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 17:58 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club	Maybe Feist is a Dido clone raised in an underground Fish Island laboratory and unleashed by her label on an unsuspecting public. She might be your neighbor and you don't even know it, PGPoundSign. Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 17:54 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Well, with Amy go, go, going, gone into rehab, the pop star quotient has gone down by 1 in the short term at least... We could therefore really do with a drug addicted Dido to move over here to plug the gap.... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 18:13 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	simon	Yes Feist was last years new Dildo and almost as bad as her!! She only got some of the "cool" folks behind her because some of the folks playing behind her used to be in The Fine Young Cannibals or Joboxers one of those 80's bands and I know far too much about someone as irellevant to my record collection as Feist!! As for versions of Gloria you need to be listening to Patti Smith singing it at full volume, that or the version by Dead Sex Kitten if you can find it;) Posted by simon on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 18:34 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Megleonie	i disagree with your assertion utterly. if they were standing next to each other it would be patently clear that they are NOT EXACTLY THE SAME :) yes feist is tame .but i find her tame in quite a genuine inoffensive,useful,nostalgic way actually.she's just doing her thing.who gives a fuck what she she has been hailed as.i heard didos 'white flag'in sainsburys on charing cross road the other day for the first time in yonks..something about not going down with a sinking ship.ha ha.she is really very very annoying. i dont love feist in a romantic passionate way but i do think it is unjust to say she is exactly the same as dido when she is obviously a better vocalist, a better lyricist and better looking.and not really whingey in tone at all...... anyway. next you'll be saying that david essex is exactly the same as michael ball. Posted by Megleonie on Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 10:50 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	OK... I say they're the same because: They both have the same kind of thin and fragile voice They both sell lots of records in Tescos They're both completely inoffensive Sure some of the detail is different as it is with David Essex and Michael Ball. But as with Essex and Ball, both are vocalist entertainers, both are not defining any kind of a new sound and both are the kind of thing that gets nominated for Brits Awards.. With Feist I was expecting a much more interesting and diverse voice, much more complicated and futuristic sounds - in short something I hadn't the like of before.. Basically - something akin to Bjork or Diamanda Galas... And though I understand your points and agree that Feist has more lyrical talent and probably a good deal more talent full stop, I'm willing to bet that they sit in the exact same section at HMV... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 11:21 [Remove] [Reply to this]

FISHING THE CRACK...

Current mood: SELL GODAMMIT SELL!!!!
Category: SELL GODAMMIT SELL!!!! Music

So...

Once again, Amy 'drink the' Winehouse makes the front pages.

Yes boss, this time, The Sun has a neat little video of her rambling away about taking 6 Valium to 'calm down' then her 'apparently' smoking crack from a pipe at her Fish Island residence...

Now, there are several things that occurred to me when watching this...

1) Amy's no pretender - she really can put it away!!
2) There's a buzz about Fish Island now we have a celebrity junkie in residence. Is it perhaps worth looking into introducing a scheme whereby celebrity junkies are placed in dull lifeless new media prison ghetto's in order to create a 'buzz'???
3) Will she get a Visa to go and play The Grammys???


On a more vital note, the New York Stockmarket is opening any minute and with the prospect of big falls that are set to be replicated over here, I do believe it's time for a good session of 24 hour news disaster porn...

Yes boss, the economy's cooking like an out of date goose...


I was discussing these rather dark prevailing conditions yesterday with an Ark Angel from Switzerland...

We agreed that bit by bit the west is going bankrupt and bit by bit we'll all be sold off to the East...

As my Official Stockbroker likes to say everytime I call him...

"SELL GODAMMIT SELL!!!!"

Currently listening : Selling England By The Pound By Genesis Release date: By 04 October, 1994

13:36 - 19 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

	REX MUNDI	any publicity is good publicity as the old maxim goes this shit is all so staged managed its not funny they all seem 2 do it these days & the plebs keep suckin it up the suits have got u all by the balls im surprised u join in this obvious beat up, the yanks luv this shit now u poms r in on it 2 pete n kate, amy...... their just like brittany et al fodder 4 the tabloids look hard an smell the plant the journos beat it up n u repeat it. they teach this shit @ those academies 4 loser media bizz dupes yawn the mums n dads & assorted fuddies go boo the rebel kids go oooh so lame arse! fuck doesnt she write songs about rehab yawn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! their bank accounts just get bigger & the standard of journalism just keeps getting lower. Posted by REX MUNDI on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 14:54 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	It most definately is good for her business - her music is absolutely everywhere!! And yes we love to copy America here - it makes us feel important... As for the standard of journalism: Yes it's poor and getting poorer. It's all about control: 'Feed 'em drugs and drink with one hand - bash 'em for drinking and drugging it with on the other..' I'm just watching a nice and patronising piece on the news about the shocking increase in Middle Class Drinking... HAVE A BOTTLE!!!! PUT THE FUCKING BOTTLE DOWN!!!!!! Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 15:22 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club	Have to agree with Rex. It's for publicity. You guys got Amy in London, we've got Britney in LA. Career lagging a bit? Get into the tabloids with a few well-timed fiascos, and you've got the spotlight again. I don't think that journalism has quite reached it's lowest point yet though, I mean after all, they still report on the weather once in a while. Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 16:59 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Be very sure that the journalism on The Futureproof Music Blog By Paul Pious James Giovanni £rd can and definately will get worse...!! Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 17:15 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club	you call this journalism? Posted by The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 17:54 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Not really... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 00:54 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Clinker	I certainly intend to fuck off to the east once my job here is done. Strange how the press don't start calling Amy evil cos she's an addict though, like they did with Pete D. Or not so strange maybe. Posted by Clinker on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 16:58 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Clinker	And Amys starting to turn into Yootha Joyce (going by that picture). Whats that hairdo all about ay? Posted by Clinker on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 17:00 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	She's really modelling that 'Crack Whore' look very well indeed.... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 17:15 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity	um. paul? who cares about amy??? my fish just died for christsake!! there are more important things to blog about. Posted by La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 17:09 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	R.I.P Rasta... (Was he also a crackhead???) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 17:17 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Emily	Wow :( She looks godawful, I hope this is a lesson to people what crack can do to you...she looks older than my mom who is 60. Scary scary shit. Posted by Emily on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 20:34 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	It looks to be taking it's toll.... Bill Drummond once likened the whole pop star business to South American Human sacrifices... Build 'em up - then kill 'em off... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 00:33 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	Emily	That's essentially true...basically they are built up to be killed off. Fucked up but very true. Posted by Emily on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 00:49 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	It's a horror show. I hope they give good classes on how to cope with it at 'Brits School' Going on the evidence of Winehouse, I doubt they do... Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 00:53 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity	no. he. was. not. he was a wonderful beautiful fish who made me happy every day. what am i supposed to do now?! Posted by La Paloma, the Queen of Infinity on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 17:22 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :	Fish are beautiful creatures and they swim around heaven... So, grieve And then go to the pet shop... p) Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 00:27 [Remove] [Reply to this]

	graham	Posted by graham on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 22:32 [Remove] [Reply to this]

: THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI :

Whatever happenned to Pete Doherty...?? Posted by : THE FUTUREPROOF MUSIC BLOG BY PIOUS GIOVANNI : on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 00:35 [Remove] [Reply to this]